mogami
Posts: 12789
Joined: 8/23/2000
From: You can't get here from there
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: dtravel
That was probably a big mistake, Mike, but you asked for it.
It is time for me to pass on to all of you some of the lore that has been passed down the generations in my family. (Seriously, my grandfather told me this story when I was young.) So, gather round kiddies and I will tell you all the story of the Great Foo Bird.
A long time ago three men were exploring the islands of the South Pacific Ocean. These were learned me, experienced in the perils of traveling in unknown and unexplored areas. As they went from island to island talking with the natives they began to hear stories of the Great Foo Bird. Intrigued by the terrible stories they heard of this large and apparently fearsome animal they determined to find it and capture one for study. After much searching and speaking with the eldest members of many tribes they finally found out where Foo Island was. Believing that they knew better than the backward and superstitious islanders, they ignored all their warnings.
They arrived at Foo Island early one morning and landed their small boat on a beautiful beach. A few miles away they could see Foo Mountain rising from the center of the island. They looked around for a bit, trying to determine where they should begin their hunt for the Foo Bird, when they noticed a number of dots in the air circling around the mountain. Looking thru their binoculars they were able to see that they resembled the descriptions they had heard of the Foo Bird. They were a little concerned as apparently these birds were even larger than the stories had made them out to be but they were also confident in their ability to capture one and transport it back to civilization. And so they set off inland for the mountain.
As they approached the mountain they began to hear cries of “Foo. Foo. Foo.” Now they knew how the bird got its name. They continued on and soon could see Foo Birds in the air above them. It soon became apparent that the birds could also see them, as several of the birds began to fly towards the men. At first they were unconcerned but as the birds got closer and closer they began to see just how truly enormous these birds were. Indeed, they were large enough to be able to pick up and carry off a full grown man. Realizing that capturing one of these birds was not going to be a simple as they had assumed, the men began to jog back to their boat.
The birds continued to close with them and soon the first of them was diving upon the explorers. And with a loud, horrible sound it shat directly upon the head of the first man. He made a sound of disgust and reaching up, wiped the bird **** off his head. He immediately dropped dead where he stood. Now the other two men were scared and began running as fast as they could back towards their boat. But not fast enough, as a second bird soon dived upon them and shat upon the head of the second man. Screaming, he immediately wiped the poisonous stuff off and promptly fell dead.
Terrified by seeing his two friends die, the third man ran as he had never run before. He could hear the birds’ terrible cries of “Foo! Foo!” as they continued to close on him and looking over his shoulder as he ran he saw a third bird diving upon him. He tried to dodge but the bird knew what it was doing and soon the man felt the foul substance hit the top of his head. He started to reach up to wipe it off, and then stopped. “Why should I bother?” he thought. “I’m already dead.”
A minute later he was still standing, waiting to die. He looked around. The Foo Birds were all flying back to the mountain, no longer concerned with him. He waited a little longer, but still did not drop dead. He started to reach up again to wipe off his head when it struck him. His two friends hadn’t died until after they had wiped the bird **** off. It seemed that he would live, as long as he didn’t remove the Foo Bird ****.
So he walked back to the boat and eventually made his way back to civilization again.
Many years later the man stood looking at himself in the mirror, stinking Foo Bird **** still in his hair. He could not get a job, his friends would not talk to him, his wife had left years ago and his children would not speak to him. Strangers on the street would cross the street to avoid him and the horrid smell that emanated from his head. He was an outcast, shunned everywhere he went. He could not live this way any longer. With a cry he reached up with both hands and quickly scrubbed the Foo **** off his head. As soon as the last of it was gone, he dropped dead.
So children, the moral of this story is: If the Foo ****s, wear it.
Hi, An old Count Basie song. Composed in 1958. The composer is better known for writing the theme song for the old Adam west Batman series and the the Odd Couple theme.
 Attachment (1)
_____________________________
 I'm not retreating, I'm attacking in a different direction!
|
Printable Version
RE: I see that bump.. - 
I'm inclined to believe that thing about the main director pointing the wrong way.
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread