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RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 3:52:46 AM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline 		Rant Warning!

{rant}
What is it with women?! I met a very nice girl, the one that cancelled on me last friday. We met on Saturday and hit it off very well. We spent most of this week together, talking about everything, just having fun and what have you. We told each other our entire life stories. Among other things, I told her about my ex, about what state I was in for most of the last 6 months, what state I'm in now (not entirely emotionally availible). She agreed, said she understood, said it was perfectly fine with her if we just spend our time together, see the city, enjoy each others company and see where it leads us. I mean, heck, how else could it be. I dont jump into things like that. It took me the better part of 8 months to tell my ex I loved her, and that one I was completely ready for.

Today she calls me, asks me to come over, says "we have to talk". My first reaction is, what now? I come over, she says "I dont know how youre going to react to this, but I have to be honest with you. I love you". She goes on to tell me that I was the first guy in a long while that made her feel like a woman, loved, special, etc (note: I wasnt even trying. The really sad part is, she made it so easy for me to be myself that I was just going with the flow.). She's my age, and I guess that at this juncture they start feeling like old maids or something (which this one is deffinitely not, neither in body nor in spirit), so maybe I can sort of understand it. But what could I tell her? I told her that if she was looking for immediate emotional commitment, I'm sorry. She said she understands, but that its an affair of the heart and not of the mind. So I kissed her and left.

I get home, there's an email waiting for me. She says how sorry she is that she caused all this, how much she hates herself for being so weak, how grateful she is that she met me and what a wonderful man I am, and goodbye. How am I supposed to answer that? Should I?

I mean, for the love of Thread! The girl is wonderful, funny, smart, built like an 18 year old. Why couldn't she just keep her wits about her and think with her mind for a change? Who knows, a couple of months with her and maybe something very special would have happened.

Its times like this I wish homo sapiens reproduced like omoeba!

{/rant}

< Message edited by Onime No Kyo -- 6/8/2007 3:55:35 AM >

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)
Post #: 36751
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 5:19:45 AM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline 		Finally returned from mowing the meadow, trying to get the pool in shape to swim in, etc... very tired... fell asleep for 2 1/2 hours after all that...


(in reply to Onime No Kyo)
Post #: 36752
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 5:21:03 AM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline 		Since it seems to be the theme of the Thread this evening, and i just ran across it:




Attachment (1)

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 36753
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 5:26:55 AM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Rant Warning!

{rant}
What is it with women?! I met a very nice girl, the one that cancelled on me last friday. We met on Saturday and hit it off very well. We spent most of this week together, talking about everything, just having fun and what have you. We told each other our entire life stories. Among other things, I told her about my ex, about what state I was in for most of the last 6 months, what state I'm in now (not entirely emotionally availible). She agreed, said she understood, said it was perfectly fine with her if we just spend our time together, see the city, enjoy each others company and see where it leads us. I mean, heck, how else could it be. I dont jump into things like that. It took me the better part of 8 months to tell my ex I loved her, and that one I was completely ready for.

Today she calls me, asks me to come over, says "we have to talk". My first reaction is, what now? I come over, she says "I dont know how youre going to react to this, but I have to be honest with you. I love you". She goes on to tell me that I was the first guy in a long while that made her feel like a woman, loved, special, etc (note: I wasnt even trying. The really sad part is, she made it so easy for me to be myself that I was just going with the flow.). She's my age, and I guess that at this juncture they start feeling like old maids or something (which this one is deffinitely not, neither in body nor in spirit), so maybe I can sort of understand it. But what could I tell her? I told her that if she was looking for immediate emotional commitment, I'm sorry. She said she understands, but that its an affair of the heart and not of the mind. So I kissed her and left.

I get home, there's an email waiting for me. She says how sorry she is that she caused all this, how much she hates herself for being so weak, how grateful she is that she met me and what a wonderful man I am, and goodbye. How am I supposed to answer that? Should I?

I mean, for the love of Thread! The girl is wonderful, funny, smart, built like an 18 year old. Why couldn't she just keep her wits about her and think with her mind for a change? Who knows, a couple of months with her and maybe something very special would have happened.

Its times like this I wish homo sapiens reproduced like omoeba!

{/rant}


EDIT - see Mynok's advice below!

REEDIT - remark partially restored:
i think that she may have told you she loved you BECAUSE you had said you are emotionally unavailable - the reasons for this are many, and i am not going to speculate here on which one(s) might be in play...

< Message edited by rtrapasso -- 6/8/2007 6:16:51 AM >

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)
Post #: 36754
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 5:43:47 AM   
Mynok


Posts: 12108
Joined: 11/30/2002
Status: offline
Strangely, in matters of relationships, women are much more decisive than men. They instinctively recognize things in possible mates that match. They love much more readily and easily than a man when they find one they really like. Men do not. They often equate lust with love, fail to build every part of a relationship, and usually have a difficult time dealing with rejection.

Answer her letter. Tell her she is not weak, just better prepared for a relationship right now. Strongly emphasize that you are still interested in being her friend and that no door is closed but you have some personal issues to deal with at the moment. Let her know that being with her helps you do so and that you really want to work at this.

The fact that you are comfortable around her and can be yourself with her is a GREAT sign. That is a sign that you *like* the girl for many more reasons than just her attractiveness. Build a solid friendship with her and you will quickly find that love will blossom in such an environment.

My dad gave me superb advice when I got into my teenage years and finally started having an interest in girls. He told me to find a girl I really *liked* and build a friendship with her. That is the *key* foundation to a relationship. Do that with this girl if she is willing. I think she will be. 

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 36755
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 5:47:25 AM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline 		Onime - rereading your message again, i see i missed the part where SHE said goodbye... hopefully (as Mynok has suggested) this is not a real goodbye, and if you are open for advice, Mynok's suggestions are excellent.

< Message edited by rtrapasso -- 6/8/2007 7:24:34 AM >

(in reply to Mynok)
Post #: 36756
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 5:53:34 AM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline 		Year 1226:

William Longsword, 3rd earl of Salisbury, dies at Salisbury, Wiltshire, March 7 and is buried at the Cathedral of Salisbury whose foundation stones he and his wife, Isabel, helped to lay 6 years ago.

France's Louis VIII marches down the Rhône Valley in the spring with a huge army of knights in a renewal of the crusade against the Cathar "heretics." Elders of the walled town of Avignon have promised to let him use their stone bridge to cross the river but close their gates to him when they see the size of his army. Louis lays siege to the town, its defenders resist for 3 months while the crusaders live in squalor on the marshy plain to the north, and more than 3,000 crusaders die of dysentery and other disease before Avignon capitulates. Louis accepts the surrender of other towns and castles, but he has fallen ill during the long siege, and although his supporters escort him north he dies at Montpensier November 8 at age 39 after a 3-year reign. Louis is succeeded by his 12-year-old son, who assumes the throne November 29 at Reims and will reign until 1270 as Louis IX. The boy's mother, Blanche of Castile, now 39, serves as regent with financial support from the Vatican and will effectively block efforts by ambitious vassals to weaken royal authority and return France to feudal anarchy.

Large-scale copper extraction begins at Sweden's Falun Mines, where mining has been going on for more than 200 years; Stora Kopparberget will become the nation's most important industrial concern, shafts will go as deep as 208 meters, it will remain a major producer well into the 19th century, and operations will continue until December 1992.

The order of Teutonic Knights that was founded in 1198 is commissioned to conquer Prussia and convert her people to Christianity. The order has been headed since 1209 by Thuringian-born soldier and politician Hermann von Salza, now about 47, who has persuaded Pope Honorius III to make the Teutonic Knights equal in status to the older Knights Hospitaler and Knights Templar (see 1237).

More than 100 Cathars meet at a small town south of Carcassonne to organize a new diocese (see 1219). Scores of Cathar homes have reopened in the last decade, but the royal crusade against the "heretics" continues after the death of Louis VIII. Too small to renew the attack on Toulouse, the crusader army uses the walled city of Carcassonne as a base from which to lay waste the countryside (see 1229).

Francis of Assisi (Giovanni Francesco Bernardone) dies at Assisi October 3 at age 44, allegedly after having had a vision of an angel. He has taught that materialism corrupts because it leads to detachment from the natural world (see 1228).

England's Henry III, now 19, asks the mayor of Winchester to obtain three pounds of sugar, a quantity considered enormous. Sugar is imported from the Middle East, processed in the form of cones called "loaves" and treated as a spice (see 1319).

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 36757
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 5:53:59 AM   
RUPD3658


Posts: 6922
Joined: 8/28/2002
From: East Brunswick, NJ
Status: offline 		I think Robert hit it on the head. You are even more attactive because you are unavailable. That's why they go for married guys too.

Tell her there is a chance but you want to take it slow. Just make sure she is not a nut job that avoided your radar before jumping into another realtionship.

God I am gald I am married and don't have to deal with this anymore.

_____________________________

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits"- Darwin Awards 2003

"No plan survives contact with the enemy." - Field Marshall Helmuth von Moltke


(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 36758
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 6:51:03 AM   
Mynok


Posts: 12108
Joined: 11/30/2002
Status: offline
I'm glad I'm married too, but I will say that my early relationship with my wife was just like Onime's current one. She loved me long before I loved her. I told her in no uncertain terms that friendship was all I was looking for at the time. I had just exited from a relationship where I pulled the plug in a rather abrupt manner that caused the girl no end of grief. I had pretty much resigned myself to being a bachelor for life...and in my religious persuasion, that means celibacy.

As the friendship between my wife and I developed, mostly due to her constancy, I found myself more and more attracted to her. That eventually blossomed into a real and solid romance which continues to this day. The critical point is that no matter what our disagreements, and they are many, we are still at the core *friends*. We can talk about anything comfortably. She can point out my shortcomings (which are many) and I don't feel threatened because she is my *friend*, and I know she wants the best for me. She takes my perspectives on her own problems in stride because she knows my purpose is to help her be a better woman.

That's what marriage is all about. It isn't about sex, though that is most satisfying with someone you know intimately. It's not about romance, because that comes and goes. It's about bonding...and that is a function of friendship, not "love". Love is a decision not an emotion. You love someone with your mind, not your emotions. Love is deciding that you are going to act in the best interests of the object of that love. It's not infatuation with someone's body or beauty.

Best of luck, Onime. I think you've found a good one. I hope it works out.

(in reply to RUPD3658)
Post #: 36759
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 10:03:35 AM   
Apollo11


Posts: 24082
Joined: 6/7/2001
From: Zagreb, Croatia
Status: offline 		Hi all,

Good morning... another "beautiful" day...




Leo "Apollo11"

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(in reply to Mynok)
Post #: 36760
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 12:37:03 PM   
USSAmerica


Posts: 18715
Joined: 10/28/2002
From: Graham, NC, USA
Status: offline 		Last day of work before vacation - Tithe.

_____________________________

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

(in reply to Apollo11)
Post #: 36761
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 1:04:24 PM   
fabertong


Posts: 4546
Joined: 2/25/2004
From: Bristol, England, U.K.
Status: offline 		Glory to the Thread.............

(in reply to USSAmerica)
Post #: 36762
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 1:46:09 PM   
Speedysteve

 

Posts: 15998
Joined: 9/11/2001
From: Reading, England
Status: offline 		Morning tithe

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(in reply to fabertong)
Post #: 36763
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 2:08:56 PM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you for your responces, guys. I appreciate it.

It is, however, a done deal. I understand her reasoning and agree with it. Any "unequal" relationship is almost certainly a bad place to be. This one would be even more unequal because on the one hand you would have the girl who is in love (read ready to make any sacrifice), and on the other hand, the guy who is just there to "have fun". It would be bad enough if the positions were reversed, but as a man, I believe it would be both low and immoral for me to continue in such a situation. She would now be the vulnerable one, sitting there, waiting for me to give ger a sign, any sign, that my feeling are growing. Is that really something you'd want to guarantee? We all know how thin the line is between love and hate.

Also, theres a bit more involved. Despite being unable to go through with it, she was the first to bring up the topic that I am not over my ex yet. Her words at the time were to the effect of "hopefully, spending some time with me will help you forget her". Some of her words to me yesterday were along the lines of "I dont even know her, but I resent her for keeping you from me". So, not a good scene there. Doesnt bode well. And also, I'm afraid we crossed the "friendship" line rather early. That was entirely my mistake. Its been a while and she's very attractive.

Suffice it to say that mistakes and miscalculations were made by both sides. But as the man I reserve the right to be wrong. Let her blame me for being a hard hearted bastard if it helps her forget me. Its a shame that things turned out this way. A real shame.

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Speedysteve)
Post #: 36764
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 3:06:46 PM   
BrucePowers


Posts: 12094
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		Good luck Onime.

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)
Post #: 36765
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 3:07:28 PM   
BrucePowers


Posts: 12094
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		Good morning all.....

Speedy, how is the eye?

(in reply to BrucePowers)
Post #: 36766
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 3:47:15 PM   
alaviner


Posts: 764
Joined: 3/8/2007
From: Blacksburg, Va
Status: offline 		Good Friday morning all
Long live the Thread

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(in reply to BrucePowers)
Post #: 36767
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 3:48:07 PM   
RUPD3658


Posts: 6922
Joined: 8/28/2002
From: East Brunswick, NJ
Status: offline 		Morning tithe

_____________________________

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits"- Darwin Awards 2003

"No plan survives contact with the enemy." - Field Marshall Helmuth von Moltke


(in reply to alaviner)
Post #: 36768
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 4:18:40 PM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline 		Morning tithe...

(in reply to RUPD3658)
Post #: 36769
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 4:34:34 PM   
Speedysteve

 

Posts: 15998
Joined: 9/11/2001
From: Reading, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Good morning all.....

Speedy, how is the eye?


Hi Bruce,

I think a little better than it was yesterday.

It's still a little sore and bruised but not as much. I tink my eye is allergic to the ointment i'm using but it seems to be hlpeing my eyelid to repair and recover (hopefully preventing any infection). As such i'd rather use this for a week with a bloodshot/watery eye if it heals my eyelid with no infection.

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Post #: 36770
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 4:57:25 PM   
Nikademus


Posts: 25684
Joined: 5/27/2000
From: Alien spacecraft
Status: offline 		good,,,,,so where's my turn!

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Post #: 36771
TGIL! - 6/8/2007 4:59:00 PM   
Nikademus


Posts: 25684
Joined: 5/27/2000
From: Alien spacecraft
Status: offline 		with all the opposite sex problems going on here lately...i keep looking over my shoulder waiting for the boulder to drop on my relationship.

then again......the GF unit is acting strange lately...she let the Pitbull(!) sleep on the bed last nite.....as Bloo would say...."Susssspicous......!!!!!!!!"

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Post #: 36772
The Thread - 6/8/2007 5:12:45 PM   
USSAmerica


Posts: 18715
Joined: 10/28/2002
From: Graham, NC, USA
Status: offline 		I agree about all the relationship "issues" that have been circulating lately.  I'm so glad to be happliy married. 

_____________________________

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

(in reply to Nikademus)
Post #: 36773
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 5:22:10 PM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline 		TODAY'S NIK SIGHTING:

is actually of Nik's violin:




Attachment (1)

(in reply to USSAmerica)
Post #: 36774
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 5:25:39 PM   
RUPD3658


Posts: 6922
Joined: 8/28/2002
From: East Brunswick, NJ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

TODAY'S NIK SIGHTING:

is actually of Nik's violin:





Let me guess....it is strung with cat gut.

Edit: It is a tabbyverious!
A feline fiddle


< Message edited by RUPD3658 -- 6/8/2007 5:26:24 PM >

_____________________________

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits"- Darwin Awards 2003

"No plan survives contact with the enemy." - Field Marshall Helmuth von Moltke


(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 36775
TGIL! - 6/8/2007 5:30:34 PM   
Nikademus


Posts: 25684
Joined: 5/27/2000
From: Alien spacecraft
Status: offline 		disturbing.....

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Post #: 36776
RE: The THREAD!!! - 6/8/2007 5:48:10 PM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline 		OK - what does "TGIL!" stand for - i can come up with various and sundry acronyms, but i am curious what you have it standing for...

(in reply to Nikademus)
Post #: 36777
RE: The Thread - 6/8/2007 5:48:22 PM   
Speedysteve

 

Posts: 15998
Joined: 9/11/2001
From: Reading, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikademus

good,,,,,so where's my turn!


Sent it to you yesterday. Not got it?

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(in reply to Nikademus)
Post #: 36778
TGIL! - 6/8/2007 5:50:21 PM   
Nikademus


Posts: 25684
Joined: 5/27/2000
From: Alien spacecraft
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

OK - what does "TGIL!" stand for - i can come up with various and sundry acronyms, but i am curious what you have it standing for...


Thank god....its LOG!

convert now and prevent future Thread pages from being smitten by an electronic flood.




_____________________________


(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 36779
RE: The THREAD!!! - 6/8/2007 5:50:28 PM   
RUPD3658


Posts: 6922
Joined: 8/28/2002
From: East Brunswick, NJ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

OK - what does "TGIL!" stand for - i can come up with various and sundry acronyms, but i am curious what you have it standing for...



Logboy is easy to figure out

TGIL=Thank god it's log

Bettwen would have been TLIF=Thank Log it's Friday.

_____________________________

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits"- Darwin Awards 2003

"No plan survives contact with the enemy." - Field Marshall Helmuth von Moltke


(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 36780
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