RE: The "Curve"

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All Forums >> [Current Games From Matrix.] >> [World War II] >> War In The Pacific - Struggle Against Japan 1941 - 1945 >> After Action Reports >> RE: The "Curve"

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RE: The "Curve" - 8/25/2007 1:21:25 AM

Terminus

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RE: Alfalfa break - 8/25/2007 1:21:48 AM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VSWG

"Nagasaki - Bright Light in sky." Now this is just MEAN, Cap Mandrake.

I just spent several hours catching up on this AAR - now my tummy hurts from too much laughter! Fortunately, as an experienced reader of this AAR, I refrained from eating or drinking while reading - lest I need a Heimlich Maneuver (this is the first time I've used "lest", I hope I've done it correctly [Coming to think of it, it is also the first time I've used "Heimlich Maneuver" - this is so exciting! But I digress...])

So M&M ventured into shipbuilding... Will they expand this business? If they could get hold of a list of ships that have so far sunken in this war, they should be able to identify shortages. Of course 'shortage' is just another word for 'scarcity'. And we all know what the color ouf scarcity is...

I..err. I mean Milo will have to think of something to do with the icebreakers he started. Hard to believe the Japs will really go for Dunedin at this point to force Allied shipping to the Antarctic.

BTW..it is possible to do a Heimlich Maneuver on oneself by bending forward forcefully over a table. If you come from Flores Island stock you can likely use a standard table (you might even half to hop up a little) but if you are full-bred Homo sapiens you might have to use one of those tall bistro tables. If none is available, grab your neck in the universal choking sign and run around with your eyes bulging out. If Doc Daneka is about, he can probably help.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/25/2007 1:22:55 AM >

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Post #: 1292

RE: Alfalfa break - 8/25/2007 1:24:10 AM

Terminus

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If you haven't got it, Paint.Net can be found here:

http://www.getpaint.net/index.html

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Post #: 1293

Editor's Note - 8/25/2007 1:58:09 AM

Cap Mandrake

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Editors Note:

A number of readers have written to say that the Heimlich Maneuver had not been invented at the time of WWII. This is strictly true (or at least it had not yet been popularized) but the seed of the idea may have germinated on the small South Pacific Island of Ha'Apai (also Haa'pai and Ha-A'pai). We were able to uncover information about a trip Dr. Hemilich took to the South Pacific during the Summer before his junior year at Cornell. The natives of this island had developed a very effective strategy to deal with the many tragedies that resulted from the cultural practice of slurping down whole, raw, conch meat right out the shell after a co-participant pried the conch loose with a sharpened abalone shell. To make matters worse, this delicacy was often enjoyed during feasts after prodigious quatitities of fermented coconut milk had been imbibed. On one memorable occaision, the Island Chieftan himself was nearly killed when he aspirated conch meat into his trachea. Legend has it that he stumbled about grabbing his throat, eyes bulging until he fell unconscious across a nearly horizontal palm trunk, exposing his ample undercarriage to the terrified villagers. One enterprising shaman, recognizing the emergency grabbed a very large taro root and thrust it home with sufficient vigor to expel the offending conch and save the Chief, who was none the worse for the affair save some tenderness which required him to undertake tribal duties in a recumbant position for a week or so.

The success of the technique was adopted by nearby islanders who even adopted the word "ha'apai" to mean rougly, "one who has something...caught... in..his ...throat". Quite possibly, the future Dr Hemilich adapted this technique to the environs of Cornell Medical College where taro root was hard to find and much time could be lost in properly preparing the choking victim for the Ha'apai maneuver.

Margin Note: Please run this by D,C & H for the next edition. I have some reservations about liability exposure.

Gen. Marshall

PS..and PLEASE, PLEASE stop putting the margin notes in the published text for the love of God!

PPS..Let's go with that Egyptian girl for the internship position. The other ones insist on using the word "like" every third word. It seems at once a noun, a verb, a conjunction. I simply can't tolerate it. There was a time a Bryn Mahr education meant something.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/25/2007 2:00:20 AM >

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Post #: 1294

Commonwealth, front and center! - 8/25/2007 8:17:34 PM

Cap Mandrake

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It has been a tough day for SEAC:

1) 2 Jap divisions, a couple of hundred toy tanks and 3 regts. of artillery have set up camp outside of Myitkinia..not to mention about 220 Tonys and Zeroes. More on the massive furball in the skies over Myitkinia to come.

2) The stalker girl from Idaho told me she is leaving her husband

3) My teenage daughter borrowed my cell phone (after breaking hers and having a replacement stolen). I am over that. The real problem is I am about 95% certain that she picked up a phone message left by the stalker girl and I have reason to believe it was definitely not G-rated.

I have requested 23rd Fighter Group, (USAAF) to fly in from Generalissimo Chiang Tabpub's command at Chungking. That should fix everything.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/25/2007 8:18:09 PM >

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Post #: 1295

RE: Commonwealth, front and center! - 8/25/2007 9:41:25 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Lt. Gen Alexander to Lt. Gen. Pownall...HELP! Of course, he is a bit more dignified about it.

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RE: Commonwealth, front and center! - 8/25/2007 9:43:35 PM

Terminus

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PS: HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!

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Post #: 1297

RE: Commonwealth, front and center! - 8/25/2007 10:21:50 PM

Cap Mandrake

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************SEAC HQ, Ledo, 18:40, Sept 10, 1942**********

Gen. Pownall (CIC SEAC): Generals, I am afraid I am going to ask for a greater sacrifice both from both Third Tactical, RAF and 10th USAAF. Our boys at Myitkinia are in a bad spot. The Japanese are preparing what is sure to be a mjor offensive along the rail line toward Myitkinia. It appears this is a coordianted effort with the Salween River offensive as Gen. Alexander's Salween relief force is now poorly positioned and will be lucky to make Myitkinia in a week or more. That leaves only one colonial brigade and one Indian plus what can best be described as Chinese "irregulars". 14th, 16th Chindit and 64 tubes of artillery are at least 2 weeks out on the Ledo Road. I need your boys to slow down the Jap preparations and interdict their supply and we need local air superiority over Myitkinia. Lastly, we need the air bridge to Myitkinia at maximal effort.

Air Marshal Peirce (RAF): As you know, the weather has been poor, but we can try pushing in under the weather. We will lose some crews.

Gen. Pownall (CIC SEAC): Can't be helped, Richard. If we can stop them here, we may just be able to get behind them with 2nd Div and 7th Armoured from Imphal. Claire, how about the heavies? Can they get in under the weather?

Gen. Chennault (1oth AF, USAAF):There is nothing I would enjoy more but we can't go under 10,000 ft.

Gen. Pownall (CIC SEAC): Why is that?

Gen. Chennault (1oth AF, USAAF): House rule, sir.

Gen. Pownall (CIC SEAC): Oh, bloody Hell! First there is tha pedant Phillips and his 1925 Naval Treaty and now we must suffer through a house rule on B-17's. I would say we were asleep at the switch on the "house rule" negotiations. Air intel shows at least 400 aircraft at Rangoon. That has to be WAAAY overstacked. Can't you just send them in at 4000 feet and claim later you accidentally hit the "set all" button?......

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/25/2007 10:24:07 PM >

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RE: Commonwealth, front and center! - 8/25/2007 10:23:09 PM

Terminus

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Damn House Rules!

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Intent to commit a DWI - 8/26/2007 12:14:59 AM

Cap Mandrake

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I forgot to mention another disaster. I was driving to Barnes and Noble last night about 8:20 to buy "Guests of the Ayatollah". The bookstore is in a big outdoor mall with stores and restaurants and a couple of meat market type bars (well, at least that is what I heard). So I am in a freeway interchange merge lane and I pull up next to a California Highway Patrol car. I need to get into his lane to go where I want to go but everytime I slow down, he slows down and it is the freeway so I can't slow down too much and I dare not give it the juice and try to cut him off, so finally I just have to make a right turn that I didn't want to make. I stop to look over my shoulder then realize I have a dedicated lane to make a right so I proceed (no light, no stop sign). Then I get stuck making another right because of the traffic flow..then another right..then there are center islands everywhere and pretty soon I am on the other side of the huge freeway from the mall and half the friggin' way back home so now I am getting pissed off. Finally, I find a big, lighted intersection with a dedicated left turn signal so I line up to make a U-turn. I wait for the light, it turns green, I make the turn, voila. Another half hour or so and I will be back at the mall. Dooohhhh! Flashing lights. What now? Did I forget to put the registration tag on? I pull over and it is a CHiP.

"What is the problem officer"? (I try politeness first, holding unmanly crying and pleading in reserve)

"That intersection is posted no U-turn"

"F***", I say to myself. "Oh Hell", I say out loud.

"Are you aware you were driving on the shoulder back there?"

"Me, on the freeway you mean? Are you sure about that?" "That was a God****** merge lane you idiot", I say to myself. Then I think better of my tone. "I believe you are mistaken sir."

"I have been following you since then."

"Christ..it's the same jerk who purposely wouldn't let me merge", I say to myself. "What does he mean following me? I was follwoing him?"

"Have you had anything to drink tonight, sir?"

"No" I did have a gin and tonic while I was walking the dogs about 4:30 but that is not nightime...so there

"Where are you headed?"

"To the bookstore"

"Oh, bookstore, eh?" in a really annoying sarcastic tone.

"Look guy, if you are trying to stop bar denizens maybe you should wait until they GET to the bar." That is what I wanted to say. I didn't say it.

So he goes as far to get me out of the car to do the field sobriety test and calls for back up. Then it begins to dawn on him I may be telling the truth after I gave him a neurophysiology lesson on why most people have a little bit of nystagmus when you make them gaze at extreme lateral gaze for a few seconds and it doesn't mean they are toasted especailly when there is nothing else wrong.

Finally, he decides to cut his losses before the back-up gets there.

"I am going to let you off with a U-turn violation"

"LET ME OFF? Gee, that is bloody generous of you". I wanted to say that too. I didn't. I also refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/26/2007 9:49:24 AM >

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RE: Intent to commit a DWI - 8/26/2007 12:29:07 AM

VSWG

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Sounds like you deserve another gin and tonic, or two (three?)...

Now, about that phone call from the Idaho stalker girl - did you return it?

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RE: Intent to commit a DWI - 8/26/2007 12:35:49 AM

Terminus

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Quite the exciting lifestyle you're pursuing, Mandrake...

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Post #: 1302

Bird Farms - 8/26/2007 12:36:40 AM

Cap Mandrake

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*************ALLIED AIR FORCES SE ASIA***********
******************Sept. 11, 1942**********************

Third Tactical Air Force (RAF) (Peirce)

Myitkinia:
20 Sqdrn Hurri x 16
155 Sqdrn Spit x 16
5 Sqdrn Mohawk x 16
135 Sqdrn Spit x 16
605 Sqdrn Hurri x 16
615 Sqdrn Hurri x 16
F4-VIG III (attach) Demon x 8

Imphal:
243 Sqdrn Mohwak x 16
217 Sqdrn Welly x 16
211 Sqdrn Welly x 12
60 Sqdrn Wlly x 12
W Flight Mohawk x 8
B-2-VIGII B-25 x 12 (att)

Diamond Harbour:
30 Sqdrn Mohawk x 16

Colombo:
4 AACU Swordfish x 12
No. 21, RAAF Hurri x 16 (att)

Dacca:
136 Sqdrn Mohawk x 16
146 Sqdrn Spit x 16
488 Sqdrn Spit x 16

Trincom.
232 Sqdrn Spit x 16
258 Sqdrn Hurri x 16
242 Sqdrn Hurri x 16
28 Sqdrn Hurri x 12

Tenth Air Force (USAAF)(Chennault)

Imphal:

12th BG(M) B-25(C) x 64
34th FS P-40E x 24

Dacca:

93rd BS(H) B-17E x 16
7th BG(H) B-17E x 48

Detached in China:

23rd FG P-40B x 37
24th FG P-40E x 45

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/26/2007 1:30:21 AM >

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Post #: 1303

RE: Intent to commit a DWI - 8/26/2007 12:56:32 AM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

Quite the exciting lifestyle you're pursuing, Mandrake...

Yeah, that's it. Thursday I had a root canal done and Friday I fixed some irrigation stuff in the yard and was nearly charged with intent to buy a book.

Pretty good book, BTW. Guests of the Ayatollah: The First Battle in America's War with Militant Islam, Marc Bowden (the Blackhawk Down author)

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Post #: 1304

RE: Intent to commit a DWI - 8/26/2007 1:19:13 AM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VSWG

Sounds like you deserve another gin and tonic, or two (three?)...

I don't need any encouragemnt on that account

quote:

Now, about that phone call from the Idaho stalker girl - did you return it?

Would that I had. My daughter returned the call..and picked up the voice mail. Uggh. Wow, she was mad. It cost me two new pairs of shoes a dress and a top.

I got home from work on my "half day off" the other day after staying late to do paperwork and doing some grocery shopping and my daughter is standing out in the front yard with her hand on her hip..."Where WERE you? Your work said you were gone at 12." I half expected her to append "Mister" at the end of her question for emphasis.

Here is the learning point. If a good looking woman comes up to you and says "I have been dreaming about you for 10 years" and it all seems too good to be true..it probably is.

Thank God airline fares have risen.

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Post #: 1305

Pep talk - 8/26/2007 5:24:05 AM

Cap Mandrake

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Looks like Pownall's pep talk worked.

Tac Air sorties in and about Myitkinia;

Sept 10....180
Sept 11....270

With no A2A or flak losses, but the concentration of fighters at Rangoon is worrisome. Expect forward deploy soon.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/26/2007 5:25:18 AM >

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Post #: 1306

Eyeballs - 8/26/2007 5:28:33 AM

Cap Mandrake

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*************From SEAC HQ, Ledo, 13:50, Sept. 11, 1942************

Gen. Peirce: Get me some eyeballs over Mandalay and Lashio this evening. That is where he is likely to deploy when he is ready for the air blitz that must come.....

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Post #: 1307

RE: Eyeballs - 8/26/2007 5:34:55 AM

Cap Mandrake

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Post #: 1308

IBM card reading error - 8/26/2007 5:50:33 AM

Cap Mandrake

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Air Forces, just like any other bureaucracy make mistakes. For the pilots of GVT-3, NEIAF, the 4th field should have read "1" for "fighter pursuit" rather than "7" for "recon/transport"

***********GVT-3 Ready Room, Perth, Sept 11, 1942*********

1st Lt Cuyler, NEIAF: Captain, would you get mad if I tried to do an outside loop in one of the PBY's. Kloppman is going to take pictures.

Capt. De Geer: AWESOME! Can I come too?

1st Lt Van Allen: Can I come too, Cuyler? I'll bring my belt. Kloppman can put all his photography **** in there.

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< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/26/2007 5:59:28 AM >

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RE: IBM card reading error - 8/26/2007 6:11:05 AM

Cuttlefish

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Air Forces, just like any other bureaucracy make mistakes. For the pilots of GVT-3, NEIAF, the 4th field should have read "1" for "fighter pursuit" rather than "7" for "recon/transport"

***********GVT-3 Ready Room, Perth, Sept 11, 1942*********

1st Lt Cuyler, NEIAF: Captain, would you get mad if I tried to do an outside loop in one of the PBY's. Kloppman is going to take pictures.

Capt. De Geer: AWESOME! Can I come too?

1st Lt Van Allen: Can I come too, Cuyler? I'll bring my belt. Kloppman can put all his photography **** in there.

Van Allen belts? Not a good idea, it's likely to have a bad effect on the film...

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Post #: 1310

RE: IBM card reading error - 8/26/2007 7:47:48 AM

Onime No Kyo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuttlefish

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Air Forces, just like any other bureaucracy make mistakes. For the pilots of GVT-3, NEIAF, the 4th field should have read "1" for "fighter pursuit" rather than "7" for "recon/transport"

***********GVT-3 Ready Room, Perth, Sept 11, 1942*********

1st Lt Cuyler, NEIAF: Captain, would you get mad if I tried to do an outside loop in one of the PBY's. Kloppman is going to take pictures.

Capt. De Geer: AWESOME! Can I come too?

1st Lt Van Allen: Can I come too, Cuyler? I'll bring my belt. Kloppman can put all his photography **** in there.

Van Allen belts? Not a good idea, it's likely to have a bad effect on the film...

God, Mandrake, thats such a geek joke. I'm almost offended that I laughed at it.

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Post #: 1311

RE: IBM card reading error - 8/26/2007 9:53:30 AM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

God, Mandrake, thats such a geek joke. I'm almost offended that I laughed at it.

You must learn to embrace your Geekhood. Remember, the Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

Honestly, I am surprised anyone got the gag.

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RE: IBM card reading error - 8/26/2007 10:22:38 AM

BrucePowers

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I must admit, I missed it until it was pointed out.

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RE: IBM card reading error - 8/26/2007 1:51:34 PM

Terminus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

God, Mandrake, thats such a geek joke. I'm almost offended that I laughed at it.

You must learn to embrace your Geekhood. Remember, the Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

Honestly, I am surprised anyone got the gag.

Well, it was a little bit out there...

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Post #: 1314

RE: IBM card reading error - 8/26/2007 7:24:53 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

God, Mandrake, thats such a geek joke. I'm almost offended that I laughed at it.

Another thing occurred to me. I wouldn't worry about being stigmatized by a physics/astronomy joke (as long as you don't have a pocket protector that has the planetray masses and orbits on it).

There is something else that puts that to shame on the geekdom scale. You do realize we are congregating in an on-line forum dealing with a computer wargame where we can reassign the commander of a barge flotilla, where complicated turns can easily take an hour of work and where the game itself could easily last 1000 turns

That is some serious geek power. In my last multiplayer WITP game I accidentally sent a planning email to my sister. Ouch! You may not realize how "straights" are bound to view jargon about obscure WWII aircraft and it is fair to say most people don't know what a "Flush Deck Destroyer" is. She gleefully told my other brothers and sisters. Oh man, I was the victim of some serious prison rape at Thanksgiving dinner. I was the live entertainment. The only one who "got it" was my braniac nephew who is a bioengineerinng major at USC and his dad quickly shooed him away lest some geekdom wear off on him.

Of course, I had a blast making fun of my daughter's old boyfriend and his seriously geeky World of Warcraft buds.

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Post #: 1315

14.959 hrs to live - 8/26/2007 7:37:46 PM

Cap Mandrake

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So, a couple of Sodium atoms are sitting at a bar. The first one orders a round.

Na-23: Bartender! Two shots of Cazadores please, with limes, hold the salt.

Bartender: Rocks?

Na-23: No thanks. Straight up. It's the water, you know. <turns to the other Sodium atom> So, how long you in town?

Na-24: I don't know for sure. You never do really know. I'll probably be gone tomorrow. It sucks.

Na-23: Hey pal..been there..done that. I am down with that.

Na-24: How you been?

Na-23: Bit out of sorts. I lost an electron.

Na-24: NO S***, man! Are you sure?

Na-23: I'm positive.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/26/2007 7:39:54 PM >

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Frauline Tatarin - 8/26/2007 7:48:33 PM

Cap Mandrake

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RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/26/2007 8:25:41 PM

Terminus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So, a couple of Sodium atoms are sitting at a bar. The first one orders a round.

Na-23: Bartender! Two shots of Cazadores please, with limes, hold the salt.

Bartender: Rocks?

Na-23: No thanks. Straight up. It's the water, you know. <turns to the other Sodium atom> So, how long you in town?

Na-24: I don't know for sure. You never do really know. I'll probably be gone tomorrow. It sucks.

Na-23: Hey pal..been there..done that. I am down with that.

Na-24: How you been?

Na-23: Bit out of sorts. I lost an electron.

Na-24: NO S***, man! Are you sure?

Na-23: I'm positive.

ARGH! Enough with the geek jokes!

_____________________________

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RE: Frauline Tatarin - 8/26/2007 8:26:14 PM

Terminus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

..

D'OH!

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RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/26/2007 9:18:41 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

ARGH! Enough with the geek jokes!

Not to worry. I think that is the world's supply of Physics jokes. Besides, I wouldn't want to Bohr anyone.

******************SEAC HQ, Ledo, 22:20, Sept 11, 1942***************

Gen. Peirce: Right. Let's not get caught with our trousers down, shall we? Get the Mohawks and Demons out of Myitkinia at dawn tomorrow and alert the Spits of 146 and 488 Sqadrons at Dacca to prepare for pre-dawn takeoff for Myitkinia. We need to have our most capable airframes and pilots in the air as the enemy is going to throw eveything they have at us......... Where is my 10th Air Force liason, God Damnit? I need to know if Chennault can hit them on the ground at Lashio. Right, chaps, I am finsihed here. Let's get it done, shall we?

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