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RE: The Onslows and the Royal Navy

 
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RE: The Onslows and the Royal Navy - 9/15/2007 1:31:07 AM   
kaleun

 

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quote:

I am much chagrined to learn that St. Albans is to be given this task as she is perceived to lag behind the other vessels of the squadron on the windward. I must confess my mood to be most melancholy......"


ROFL

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Appear at places to which he must hasten; move swiftly where he does not expect you.
Sun Tzu

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1411
RE: Egads! (or however you spell that) - 9/15/2007 1:33:44 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

I think something either very good or very bad has happened to our gracious host. Should we send out a search party?


Thanks for the kind thoughts. I am fine. Perhaps a thousand miles protect me from secret attack at this time. Ice and nectar of juniper berry inventory now rising. My greatest threat this weekend is the California Highway Patrol should I decide to go book shpping again. One of my partners was out for some ill-considered Jewish holiday and I was busy all week. Thankfully, no search party is needed but I hope the Viking funeral planning goes well.


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Post #: 1412
RE: Egads! (or however you spell that) - 9/15/2007 2:23:20 AM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline 		All Jewish holidays are very well considered.....to maximize guilt and be as boring as possible. However, something tells me that they might actually be harder on the gentiles than the Jews.

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"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

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Post #: 1413
Burma Roundup - 9/16/2007 9:42:56 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		My old roomate invited me to a family seder once (Passover) with his parents and grandfather. The food was terrible.

Out of deference, my roomate's dad let my roomate's grandfather read a passage in Hebrew. He must have screwed it up real bad because his son (my roomate's dad) nearly reached across the table and throttled him. It occured to me it would be a shame to escape the Pharoe's army just to be strangled by your own son.




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Post #: 1414
RE: Burma Roundup - 9/17/2007 1:24:43 AM   
BrucePowers


Posts: 12094
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Status: offline 		What is happening in Austrailia?

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Post #: 1415
RE: Burma Roundup - 9/17/2007 3:05:16 AM   
bradfordkay

 

Posts: 8683
Joined: 3/24/2002
From: Olympia, WA
Status: offline 		My best friend likes to say, "The jews invented guilt; it took the catholics to make it profitable!"


I know.. no religion or politics... what about bad jokes?

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fair winds,
Brad

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Post #: 1416
RE: Burma Roundup - 9/17/2007 3:18:59 AM   
BrucePowers


Posts: 12094
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Status: offline 		Bad jokes are always in good taste

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Post #: 1417
RE: Burma Roundup - 9/17/2007 5:58:37 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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From: Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

What is happening in Austrailia?


It is with a heavy heart that I am compelled to report an existential threat to the people, to the animals, indeed, to the irreducible spiritual and moral core of that fine nation.











Tabpub sent the 90th BS(M) to Sydney.

(in reply to BrucePowers)
Post #: 1418
RE: Burma Roundup - 9/17/2007 6:15:34 PM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		AAAAAHHHH!!! The Horror, The Humanity, and other big words beginning with "H"...

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Post #: 1419
RE: Burma Roundup - 9/17/2007 6:40:14 PM   
BrucePowers


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Status: offline 		What Terminus said!!!

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Post #: 1420
RE: Burma Roundup - 9/18/2007 7:19:03 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Page 2. Sneaky Allied attack toward Mandalay.




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Post #: 1421
The 98% Solution - 9/20/2007 12:57:07 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		**********Aboard USS Mississippi, Sept 25, 1942, Somewhere between Midway and Pensacola*************



She is in tow in a calm sea, two Mahan class DD's dragging her bulk through the unintentionally uncooperative Pacific. A Chief Petty Officer stands atop a forward turret which is slewed off to port, her guns at differing elevations. He holds a cardboard megaphone as the last battery powered version is inoperative.


"OK Boys, here are the new orders.

1) You are assigned to emergency head port 1 <he points to a few canvas-covered planks to his left>. We are out of toilet paper. You are instructed to splash seawater from the nearby bucket onto your bilge pump should the need arise. Please be advised this is NOT drinking water. I repeat, this is NOT drinking water. Also, make sure you strap yourself in with the safety harness. The Captain is really angry about the man overboard calls.

2) The main desalinator has failed. You are therefore instructed, in the event of rain, to stop all non-essential acitivities and point your open gullets toward the sky.

3) We have lost refrigeration. The menu has therefore been somewhat contracted. Breakfast will consist of salted beef and crackers. Lunch will be salted beef and cold canned green beans. Dinner will consist of salted beef and fig newtons for dessert. All the ships can openers have been renedered inoperable. Sailors are ordered to use a knife to open their cans.

4) In the event of submarine or air attack, you are instructed to go directly to your new, on-deck, assigned battle stations. With the exception of the aft 50 caliber crew, all others are instructed to quietly read the Lord's Prayer, handwritten copies of which have been supplied by the ship's Chaplain Office. Damage parties are working on repairing the Chaplain's typewriter at this time. ...................

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Post #: 1422
RE: The 98% Solution - 9/20/2007 1:55:43 AM   
BrucePowers


Posts: 12094
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Status: offline 		Will she make port or not? Only the good Lord knows for sure

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Post #: 1423
RE: The 98% Solution - 9/20/2007 10:04:59 AM   
bobogoboom


Posts: 3799
Joined: 2/13/2006
From: Dallas
Status: offline 		What are her stats right now. We need to start taking bets as to wheather she makes port

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Member Texas Thread Mafia.

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Post #: 1424
RE: The 98% Solution - 9/20/2007 10:17:43 AM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
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From: Denmark
Status: offline 		Wonder if the aft 50 caliber crew won't be praying as well...

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Post #: 1425
RE: The 98% Solution - 9/20/2007 11:01:13 AM   
tabpub


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From: The Greater Chicagoland Area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bobogoboom

What are her stats right now. We need to start taking bets as to wheather she makes port

you have to pardon Mandrake, he's English, you know.......
The ship in question is the Idaho, a member of the New Mexico class, of which the Mississippi is a sister ship; which undoubtably is the source of the confusion...
She's not bad now; Vestal and another AR pumped her out from the bottom of Midway Atoll and even fixed a point. She'll be ready for the victory tour of the Phillipines in '44 I think.
With several of the hydra's heads either cut off or severely mauled, the situation is much improved as the Fall approaches.




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< Message edited by tabpub -- 9/20/2007 11:06:13 AM >

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Sing to the tune of "Man on the Flying Trapeze"
..Oh! We fly o'er the treetops with inches to spare,
There's smoke in the cockpit and gray in my hair.
The tracers look fine as a strafin' we go.
But, brother, we're TOO God damn low...

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Post #: 1426
RE: The 98% Solution - 9/20/2007 11:13:37 AM   
marky


Posts: 5780
Joined: 3/8/2004
From: Wisconsin
Status: offline 		ouch




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Post #: 1427
RE: The 98% Solution - 9/20/2007 11:34:58 AM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		Only 98 sys damage? I thought it was serious...

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Post #: 1428
RE: The 98% Solution - 9/20/2007 6:56:03 PM   
bobogoboom


Posts: 3799
Joined: 2/13/2006
From: Dallas
Status: offline 		yeah i thought we might get to do bets like in the hibiki aar.

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I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that bar.
Member Texas Thread Mafia.

Sig art by rogueusmc

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Post #: 1429
RE: The 98% Solution - 9/20/2007 7:13:34 PM   
bradfordkay

 

Posts: 8683
Joined: 3/24/2002
From: Olympia, WA
Status: offline 		It just takes one I-boat, and she's a goner...

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fair winds,
Brad

(in reply to bobogoboom)
Post #: 1430
RE: The 98% Solution - 9/20/2007 7:40:58 PM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		An I-boat? One seagull landing on the wrong part of the ship, and she'll sink!

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We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

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Post #: 1431
I...da.....ho - 9/20/2007 8:18:49 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		*************Bridge of USS Vestal, Somewhere between Midway and Pensacola, Sept. 25, 1942*************


Sailor: <listening to headphoe> Captain. You are wanted by the ship's surgeon in sick bay. He says the Captain of the Mississippi is coming out of his coma. He says you want to hear this!

Cmmdr Moreschi: On my way! XO has the conn. <bolts down a flight of stairs and is gone>

************30 seconds later, sick bay***************

Doc Liebensraum: Ah, sir. I thought you might want to hear this. <they both draw near to a man in his late 50's in a Captain's unifrom>

Captain X: Uhhhhh......not mis...not missi.....

Cmmdr Moreschi: What is it Captain? What are you trying to tell us?

Captain X: Not miss..is..sip..pi. I...da......ho. Da...ho. Uhhhhh...

Cmmdr Moreschi: <leans closer to hear> WHAT CAPTAIN? WHAT ABOUT THE IDAHO?

Captain X: Uhhhh......hand...uhhh

Cmmdr Moreschi: HAND? WHAT IS IT, SIR? THE INVISIBLE HAND OF DEATH? WHAT, SIR? TELL US! PLEASE!

Captain X: Hand....hand on chest...uhhh

Cmmdr Moreschi: <Cmdr and Doc look down simultaneously to see they are both leaing on the Captain's chest> Oh....gee....sorry about that sir. Please continue.

Captain X: I..da...ho......stalk....stalker...arrow..points............down......ice...need ice <slips back into unconsciousness>

Cmmdr Moreschi: <stands upright> Stalker? Arrow points down? I wonder what he means by that?.................SUBMARINE! HE MEANS A SUB IS STALKING THE IDAHO!!!! <bolts toward hall barking orders> I am going to alert the destroyer squadron! See that he gets some ice. The man is a hero......



(in reply to kaleun)
Post #: 1432
RE: I...da.....ho - 9/20/2007 8:53:00 PM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline

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We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

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Post #: 1433
RE: I...da.....ho - 9/21/2007 3:16:00 AM   
BrucePowers


Posts: 12094
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Status: offline 		That makes the situation clear as mud

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Post #: 1434
RE: I...da.....ho - 9/22/2007 2:58:14 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

That makes the situation clear as mud



The truth is Admiral Tabpub is right. It was the Idaho. Mississippi is in an escort force shepherding her to safety in XXXXXXXXX.

I think I just saw "Idaho" and went blank.

Along those lines, I just got an email asking for any special requests for a new wax job. I was thinking Henderson Field. The silhouette of PoW would be cool too but might be too challenging. Any thoughts?

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Post #: 1435
RE: I...da.....ho - 9/22/2007 3:00:56 AM   
kaleun

 

Posts: 5145
Joined: 5/29/2002
From: Colorado
Status: offline

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Appear at places to which he must hasten; move swiftly where he does not expect you.
Sun Tzu

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Post #: 1436
RE: I...da.....ho - 9/22/2007 4:26:46 AM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Any thoughts?


'Your car'!

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Post #: 1437
RE: I...da.....ho - 9/22/2007 4:29:17 AM   
T Rav

 

Posts: 387
Joined: 5/29/2004
Status: offline 		Cap,

"Heart shape" is too trite and an "all-seeing eye" is too creepy.

Go with an exclamation point as it is already on the upgrade path from the previous arrow. It's different and easy, so you can't lose.

Best of all, it makes for interesting conversation at dinner.

Best of luck,
T Rav

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1438
RE: I...da.....ho - 9/22/2007 5:31:39 AM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline 		Breaking Hobbit News:

"WASHINGTON (AP) - Scientists, wringing their hands over the identity of the famed "hobbit" fossil, have found a new clue in the wrist. Since the discovery of the bones in Indonesia in 2003, researchers have wrangled over whether the find was an ancient human ancestor or simply a modern human suffering from a genetic disorder.

Now, a study of the bones in the creature's left wrist lends weight to the human ancestor theory, according to a report in Friday's issue of the journal Science.

The wrist bones of the 3-foot-tall creature, technically known as Homo floresiensis, are basically indistinguishable from an African ape or early hominin-like wrist and nothing at all like that seen in modern humans and Neanderthals, according to the research team led by Matthew W. Tocheri of the Smithsonian's National Museum of Natural History.

That indicates that it is an early hominid and not a modern human with a physical disorder, they contend."


(in reply to T Rav)
Post #: 1439
RE: I...da.....ho - 9/22/2007 5:46:18 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		"upgrade path"

Exclamation point it is!

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Post #: 1440
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