RE: THE THREAD!!!

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All Forums >> [Current Games From Matrix.] >> [World War II] >> War In The Pacific - Struggle Against Japan 1941 - 1945 >> The War Room >> RE: THE THREAD!!!

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RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 4:48:47 PM

scott64

Posts: 4019
Joined: 9/12/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline

Hello?'

'Hi honey, this is Daddy, is Mommy near the phone?'

'No Daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'

After a brief pause, Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'

'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy right now'

..... Brief Pause

'Uh, okay then, ...this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'

'Okay Daddy, just a minute'

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. 'I did it, Daddy'

'And what happened honey?' he asked

'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!'

'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'

'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it.

He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'

***Long Pause***

******Longer Pause******

Then Daddy says: 'Swimming pool?? ... Is this 486-5731??

_____________________________

Lucky for you, tonight it's just me

Any ship can be a minesweeper..once !! :)

http://suspenseandmystery.blogspot.com/

(in reply to scott64)

Post #: 4291

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 4:49:51 PM

Mynok

Posts: 12108
Joined: 11/30/2002
Status: offline

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"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

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Post #: 4292

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 4:50:40 PM

Mynok

Posts: 12108
Joined: 11/30/2002
Status: offline

Drive-by tithe.....

_____________________________

"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

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Post #: 4293

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 4:51:04 PM

scott64

Posts: 4019
Joined: 9/12/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing.
She'd seen many books on the subject And,
finally getting all the necessary tools together,
she made for the ice.

After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

Startled, the blonde moved farther down the ice, poured a thermos of Cappuccino and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens The voice bellowed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

The blonde, now worried, moved clear down to the opposite end of the Ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

She stopped, looked skyward, and asked,
"IS THAT YOU, LORD?"

The voice replied,
"NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK."

_____________________________

Lucky for you, tonight it's just me

Any ship can be a minesweeper..once !! :)

http://suspenseandmystery.blogspot.com/

(in reply to scott64)

Post #: 4294

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 5:02:04 PM

scott64

Posts: 4019
Joined: 9/12/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline

A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach. The blond replies, "I'm young, blond and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA." Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blond problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach. Again, the blond replies, "I'm young, blond and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA." The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blond with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blond girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear. She immediately gets up, says, "Thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman. He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA."

_____________________________

Lucky for you, tonight it's just me

Any ship can be a minesweeper..once !! :)

http://suspenseandmystery.blogspot.com/

(in reply to scott64)

Post #: 4295

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 5:06:26 PM

Apollo11

Posts: 24082
Joined: 6/7/2001
From: Zagreb, Croatia
Status: offline

Hi all,

quote:

ORIGINAL: scott1964

A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach. The blond replies, "I'm young, blond and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA." Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blond problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach. Again, the blond replies, "I'm young, blond and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA." The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blond with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blond girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear. She immediately gets up, says, "Thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman. He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA."

Leo "Apollo11"

_____________________________

Prior Preparation & Planning Prevents Pathetically Poor Performance!

A & B: WitW, WitE, WbtS, GGWaW, GGWaW2-AWD, HttR, CotA, BftB, CF
P: UV, WitP, WitP-AE

(in reply to scott64)

Post #: 4296

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 5:07:59 PM

Apollo11

Posts: 24082
Joined: 6/7/2001
From: Zagreb, Croatia
Status: offline

Hi all,

quote:

ORIGINAL: scott1964

Hello?'

'Hi honey, this is Daddy, is Mommy near the phone?'

'No Daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'

After a brief pause, Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'

'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy right now'

..... Brief Pause

'Uh, okay then, ...this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'

'Okay Daddy, just a minute'

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. 'I did it, Daddy'

'And what happened honey?' he asked

'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!'

'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'

'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it.

He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'

***Long Pause***

******Longer Pause******

Then Daddy says: 'Swimming pool?? ... Is this 486-5731??

Oldie but goldie...

Leo "Apollo11"

_____________________________

Prior Preparation & Planning Prevents Pathetically Poor Performance!

A & B: WitW, WitE, WbtS, GGWaW, GGWaW2-AWD, HttR, CotA, BftB, CF
P: UV, WitP, WitP-AE

(in reply to scott64)

Post #: 4297

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 5:40:54 PM

Mynok

Posts: 12108
Joined: 11/30/2002
Status: offline

The Husband store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice ,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth fl oor an d the sign reads
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

_____________________________

"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

(in reply to Apollo11)

Post #: 4298

THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 6:21:45 PM

Terminus

Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikademus

Native sons of Long Island condemn Ditzy Dane.

LogBoy is a poopy-head!

_____________________________

We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

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Post #: 4299

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 6:29:50 PM

Mynok

Posts: 12108
Joined: 11/30/2002
Status: offline

Isn't that redundant?

_____________________________

"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

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Post #: 4300

LOG! - 8/5/2008 6:31:30 PM

Nikademus

Posts: 25684
Joined: 5/27/2000
From: Alien spacecraft
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikademus

Native sons of Long Island condemn Ditzy Dane.

LogBoy is a poopy-head!

Thats incorrect. LogBoy is brilliant and keeps kicking Danish butt all around the map. T run into corner and cry wittle eyes out.

pfffffffffff

_____________________________

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Post #: 4301

RE: Thread! - 8/5/2008 6:33:11 PM

Mynok

Posts: 12108
Joined: 11/30/2002
Status: offline

quote:

Danish butt

Does seem to be a theme here.......

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"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

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Post #: 4302

THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 6:39:40 PM

Terminus

Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikademus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikademus

Native sons of Long Island condemn Ditzy Dane.

LogBoy is a poopy-head!

Thats incorrect. LogBoy is brilliant and keeps kicking Danish butt all around the map. T run into corner and cry wittle eyes out.

pfffffffffff

Bah and Neener to you!

_____________________________

We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

(in reply to Nikademus)

Post #: 4303

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 6:58:26 PM

Nikademus

Posts: 25684
Joined: 5/27/2000
From: Alien spacecraft
Status: offline

Non Sequitur........

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Post #: 4304

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 10:53:00 PM

Mynok

Posts: 12108
Joined: 11/30/2002
Status: offline

As you wish:

_____________________________

"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

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Post #: 4305

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 11:21:53 PM

Terminus

Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline

Late night tithe...

_____________________________

We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

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Post #: 4306

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 11:22:12 PM

bobogoboom

Posts: 3799
Joined: 2/13/2006
From: Dallas
Status: offline

Anyone else have trouble with the forums earlier?

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Member Texas Thread Mafia.

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Post #: 4307

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 11:22:41 PM

Apollo11

Posts: 24082
Joined: 6/7/2001
From: Zagreb, Croatia
Status: offline

Hi all,

Zssssssss time...

Leo "Apollo11"

_____________________________

Prior Preparation & Planning Prevents Pathetically Poor Performance!

A & B: WitW, WitE, WbtS, GGWaW, GGWaW2-AWD, HttR, CotA, BftB, CF
P: UV, WitP, WitP-AE

(in reply to Mynok)

Post #: 4308

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/5/2008 11:27:54 PM

thegreatwent

Posts: 3011
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Denver, CO
Status: offline

quote:

Anyone else have trouble with the forums earlier?

Yep, at least here the Matrixgames site and all the forums were down for about an hour.

_____________________________

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Post #: 4309

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/6/2008 12:18:38 AM

Gem35

Posts: 3420
Joined: 9/12/2004
From: Dallas, Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bobogoboom

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gem35

quote:

ORIGINAL: bobogoboom

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gem35

thanks Bobo...

np. i try.....some times.

so i got this great idea i think a stipclub + hooters style resturant on lake lewisville is the greatest money making idea ever. build a boat dock so the boats can pull up after people are on the lake all day. you would get your work force from unt.

Ummm... that's called Sneaky Pete's Bobo....

kinda but it still isn't a titty bar.

If you ask some of the cute bartenders realy nice, you might be surprised as to what you see.

_____________________________

It doesn't make any sense, Admiral. Were we better than the Japanese or just luckier?

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Post #: 4310

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/6/2008 12:19:09 AM

Gem35

Posts: 3420
Joined: 9/12/2004
From: Dallas, Texas
Status: offline

Good Evening Friends.

_____________________________

It doesn't make any sense, Admiral. Were we better than the Japanese or just luckier?

Banner By Feurer Krieg

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Post #: 4311

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/6/2008 12:25:20 AM

VSWG

Posts: 3432
Joined: 5/31/2006
From: Germany
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thegreatwent

quote:

Anyone else have trouble with the forums earlier?

Yep, at least here the Matrixgames site and all the forums were down for about an hour.

Same here.

Tithe...

...and good night.

_____________________________

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Post #: 4312

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/6/2008 1:32:54 AM

Terminus

Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline

Late night tithe, Mk II.

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We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

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Post #: 4313

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/6/2008 2:06:05 AM

Onime No Kyo

Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline

Good evening guys.

I heard from Robert. He asked me to pass his greetings to all the Threadsters.

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Post #: 4314

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/6/2008 2:11:20 AM

Mike Solli

Posts: 15792
Joined: 10/18/2000
From: the flight deck of the Zuikaku
Status: offline

Hi guys. Back from NJ. I spent every morning crabbing. Best crabbing I've ever had there. I got 1-2 dozen a day. Yum!

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Created by the amazing Dixie

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Post #: 4315

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/6/2008 2:20:53 AM

Mynok

Posts: 12108
Joined: 11/30/2002
Status: offline

Mmmmmm.......crab.

_____________________________

"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

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Post #: 4316

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/6/2008 2:21:18 AM

Gem35

Posts: 3420
Joined: 9/12/2004
From: Dallas, Texas
Status: offline

welcome back crabby!

_____________________________

It doesn't make any sense, Admiral. Were we better than the Japanese or just luckier?

Banner By Feurer Krieg

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Post #: 4317

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/6/2008 2:32:47 AM

Mike Solli

Posts: 15792
Joined: 10/18/2000
From: the flight deck of the Zuikaku
Status: offline

Thanks! Blue crabs were really abundant. The minimum size is 4.5" and we take only males, although it is legal to take females. I was consistantly getting 7-8" crabs. What a wonderful time.

_____________________________

Created by the amazing Dixie

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Post #: 4318

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/6/2008 3:33:41 AM

thegreatwent

Posts: 3011
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Denver, CO
Status: offline

In best Homer Simpson fashion. lllllaaaahhhhhhhh, unprocessed crab cakes

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Post #: 4319

RE: THE THREAD!!! - 8/6/2008 3:40:10 AM

pasternakski

Posts: 6565
Joined: 6/29/2002
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mike Solli
we take only males, although it is legal to take females.

What a relief.

quote:

I was consistantly getting 7-8" crabs.� What a wonderful time.

But was the powder enough to get rid of 'em?

_____________________________

Put my faith in the people
And the people let me down.
So, I turned the other way,
And I carry on anyhow.

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Post #: 4320

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