USSAmerica
Posts: 18715
Joined: 10/28/2002 From: Graham, NC, USA Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake **********Old Spanish lighthouse, near San Jose, Mindoro, PI, June 19, 1943********** The able-bodied men of 23rd Recce Coy, 6th Aus. Cavalry Brigade, surround a beautiful, whitewashed, old Spanish era lighthouse. An Imperial Japanese Navy battle ensign flies at the top of the lighthouse. The company, shorn of its vehicles and configured as an infantry unit for this mission, has been given the job of taking the airfield and small harbor in a coup de main as part of a big attack on Luzon. The coup part isn't working so well right now. The only Japanese resistance on the island is the lighthouse keeper, who has an ample supply of Emperor brand kool-aide. Coy CO: <calls out to lighthouse> Look, you are surrounded. Your situation is hopeless. You had best surrender. Lighthouse keeper: YOU DIE GI! Coy CO: Look, we aren't GI's. We are in the employ of the King. Lighthouse keeper: YOU DIE GI! ALL DIE NOW! Coy CO: Look, if there is any dieing to do, it will be on your side, I'm afraid. Lighthouse keeper: YOU DIE GI! BANZAI! Coy CO: <turns to sargeant> I sense this may be futile. Sargeant: It would seem so, sir. Coy CO: What have we in the way of heavy weapons? Any anti-tank guns? Sargeant: No sir. We were ordered to travel light. I think it was the whole coup de main thing. Coy CO: Heavy machine gun? Sargeant: No sir. Coy CO: Mortars? Sargeant: We had one sir. Coy CO: Had? Sargeant: Yes sir. Past tense, sir. Coy CO: I'm waiting, sargeant. Sargeant: Well sir, it seems it was lost in a craps game aboard Stringham. Coy CO: Bloody Hell! Didn't I issue specific orders prohibiting gambling? Sargeant: Yes sir. I believe you did. Coy CO: Bloody Hell. Those damned Americans. What would a sailor want with a mortar anyway? Sargeant: Well, perhaps it could be traded... Coy CO: Never mind, Sargeant, it was more a rhetorical question. Sargeant: Oh, fantastic sir. Am I to be pro or con? Coy CO: What? Look, let's say we have the boys just go in there and get the stubborn bastard. Sargeant: Yes sir <he signals to 3 soldiers to enter and capture the keepr. They move quickly, the lead soldier kicking in the ground-level door with one kick. They all enter qucikly guns drawn. There is a horrific, almost lupine, growling and several human screams followed by a quick exit. All 3 have torn uniforms> Lead Soldier: It's a white dog sir..big and fluffy. That dog is dynamite. Coy CO: Hmmm...well Sargeant, looks like we are up against Akita SNLF.... Coy CO: Bring up The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!
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Mike "Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett "They need more rum punch" - Me Artwork by The Amazing Dixie
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