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RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

 
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RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/15/2010 5:59:27 PM   
Chickenboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mynok

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The Kates from the "Crouching Crane" scored 1 hit each on 2 different BB's and one CL in drydock with the top secret "jumping porpoise" torpedo.


Maybe someone forgot to drain the drydocks.

Then they wouldn't be drydocks then, would they? I guess I'd never heard reference to 'wetdocks', 'drainingdocks' or 'dampdocks', come to think of it.

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Post #: 61
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/16/2010 7:58:43 PM   
sprior


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From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		The buffer's party on the Haruna aren't too chuffed after the crabs splash oggin all over their nice new paintwork.

Meanwhile, back at Honkers the cricket square gets all churned up. Now we're really quite cross.

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Post #: 62
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/16/2010 8:00:57 PM   
sprior


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From: Portsmouth, UK
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"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



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Post #: 63
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/16/2010 8:15:03 PM   
BrucePowers


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Status: offline 		She is quite close to shore

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Post #: 64
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/16/2010 9:13:53 PM   
witpqs


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

She is quite close to shore


And look at the slick surrounding her - she's pumping out her bilges! What an insult!

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Post #: 65
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/16/2010 9:54:44 PM   
sprior


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Status: offline 		Must be the stokers cleaning the bilges for Captain's Rounds

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Post #: 66
Kota Baru Shores - 1/17/2010 3:05:41 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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RE: Kota Baru Shores - 1/17/2010 3:11:16 AM   
BrucePowers


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Status: offline 		Look at those decorative water fountains fore and aft of the ship. They must be very peaceful looking from the retiremnet community

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Post #: 68
RE: Kota Baru Shores - 1/17/2010 3:11:30 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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Status: offline 		*****Kota Baru Shores sales office, Kota Baru, Malaya, Dec 9, 1941****

Perky young Malay saleswoman with perky bosoms: Now, if you will follow me, I will show you the workout room and clubhouse which can be reserved for functions. <the group leaves the sales office, crossing an outdoor walkway>

One half of potential client couple, decidedly non-perky bososms: Oh, look dear, the cruise ships stop here.

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Post #: 69
RE: Kota Baru Shores - 1/17/2010 3:17:42 AM   
BrucePowers


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Status: offline 		One half of potential client couple, decidedly non-perky bososms: Oh look they let their passengers ashore with those boats with ramps in front right on the beach.



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Post #: 70
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/17/2010 8:24:44 AM   
Grollub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

The buffer's party on the Haruna aren't too chuffed after the crabs splash oggin all over their nice new paintwork.

Meanwhile, back at Honkers the cricket square gets all churned up. Now we're really quite cross.

How unsporting!

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Post #: 71
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/17/2010 12:28:19 PM   
sprior


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_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



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Post #: 72
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/17/2010 12:28:52 PM   
sprior


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From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		10/12/41

The AVG give the Japanese a nasty surprise over Rangoon:

Japanese aircraft
Ki-21-IIa Sally x 23
Ki-43-Ib Oscar x 25



Allied aircraft
H81-A3 x 24


Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-21-IIa Sally: 5 destroyed, 8 damaged
Ki-43-Ib Oscar: 4 destroyed

The crabs splash lots of oggin over the Kongo (just for a change).

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



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Post #: 73
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/18/2010 2:19:33 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Status: offline 		I looked up "crabs" in the Urban Dictionary. Hmmmm..none seem right in context. There are three definitions listed:

1) Something you get from sleeping with the Olsen twins. (There are multiple variations on this involving some type unwelcome arthropod)

2) A free souvenir from Tijuana.

3) A derogatory remark used to disrespect the LA street gang Crips. In context with the crip handsign when both hands are throwing up crip they look like crab pinchers.

I think it is possible number 1 is something the pongos might get. Tijuana is a long way from Malaya and I don't think the Crips existed in 1941, or, if they did, they were wearing zoot suits and the chain thingy would get caught up in their weapons.




PS> Couldn't find "oggin" either.

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< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 1/18/2010 2:20:47 PM >

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Post #: 74
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/18/2010 2:38:19 PM   
Grollub


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Status: offline 		I'm glad that my coffee brewer hadn't finished doing its job before I landed in this thread

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Post #: 75
SS Montanes - 1/18/2010 2:42:25 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Status: offline 		*****Bridge of SS Montanes, a commercial vessel of Fillipino registry, now nationalized by the Govt. of the Philippines, 160 SSE of Luzon, 09:20, dec. 9, 1941******

Capt. Co-casquejo has orders to get his vessel safely to Australia by whatever route he deems best, avoiding contact with the enemy, if possible. He has been warned the greatest risk are the Japanese escort carriers, which have not been spotted, but are assumed to be nearby because that is what all the Japanese players do. The Capt. is the kind who like to jump off roofs and clib trees with flimsy branches when he was a child. He once purposely destroyed a beehive to see if he could outrun the bees. He couldn't, but it made for a good story. The ship has no fixed weapons but they were outfitted with a M1917 Browning machine gun surrounded by sandbags near the bow. As the ship emerges from mist, there is a cry from the lookout, "enemy cruisers and carriers our port bow!"


Capt. Co-casquejo: <quickly decides the report is correct, perhaps 20,000 yds bearing 170. He will have to close range to bring the M1917 within range. As his deck is "lightly" armored, he will be vulnerable to plunging fire as he closes, just like Hood. Truth be told everything is "lightly" armored but that is the kind of thing a man like the Captain really doesn't think about.>

Make course 170! All ahead flank. BATTLE STATIONS! <quietly> Time to knock over a bee hive.



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Post #: 76
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/18/2010 5:18:33 PM   
whippleofd

 

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quote:

crabs


Also means: Civilians running around bitching

Whipple

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Post #: 77
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/18/2010 7:32:53 PM   
Chickenboy


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From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		Captain Mandrake,

I must say, old chap, that I'm enjoying this AAR very much. Any chance that the non-American side of this AAR will be in English?

Cheerio.

Chickenboy

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Post #: 78
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/18/2010 9:15:29 PM   
Mynok


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No sir....sprior's going jackspeak all the way.


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Post #: 79
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/19/2010 12:08:11 AM   
Onime No Kyo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mynok


No sir....sprior's going jackspeak all the way.



That comforting. I thought he was just very bad at typing.

Incidentally, I've been trying to pick up on this Mayor of Addu Atoll reference, and have failed completely.

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Post #: 80
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/19/2010 1:03:10 AM   
sprior


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From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		11th of December

Crabs throw more explosives into the oggin.

The Japs are either
1. taking the scenic route or
2. trying to lure us forward into a forward defense of Malaya. Percy has already decided that Singers is far more comfy than all that 'orrible green stuff.

More Japs sighted on their way to Kendari (we think). Jolly Jack is off to spoil their run ashore in Repulsive and Pow.

Crabs with shiny but useless toys:






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_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Onime No Kyo)
Post #: 81
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/19/2010 1:08:24 AM   
sprior


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Status: offline 		Crabs:

Another more plausible explanation as to why the RN refer to the RAF as 'crabs' goes back to the days of rum, sodomy and the lash (about last week in fact). One of the more unsavoury aspects of the average matelot was his unfortunate habit of contracting pubic lice or "crabs" during his shore leave. The treatment for this condition was to get a chum or shipmate to apply a liberal application of a greasy blue/grey ointment (known affectionately as "crab fat") to the affected area. The proper name for the ointment was Blue Unction.

With the RN's usual powers of wit and sophistication the RAF were thereafter referred to as 'crab fats' (or crabs for short) as their blue/grey uniform was exactly the same colour as the stuff that the filthy little ratings rubbed on their swollen and lice-ravaged goolies. The RAF by contrast affectionately refer to the Royal Navy as Bum Boys or Fish Heads. The Army are Pongos, Brown Jobs or Grunts.

Lifted from here:
http://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/Crab_Air#Origins_of_.27Crab.27

But then what do the pongoes know?

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



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Post #: 82
RE: Dry Dock Number 1 - 1/19/2010 1:17:49 AM   
stuman


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*****Nakajima B5N, Lt. Commander Shimazaki pilot and leader of strike group, Carrier Div. 5******


He cannot believe his luck to approach so close to the American ship without AA fire. Perhaps they believe they are safe in dry dock? He keys his intercom, "SET JUMPING PORPOISE SETTING!"




Great job guys, I will following this one, and laughing all the way. Oh, and do not forget to beat the Japanese

< Message edited by stuman -- 1/19/2010 1:25:12 AM >

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Post #: 83
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/19/2010 1:54:48 AM   
Mynok


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior
Bum Boys


That'd be the buggery bit, eh?

quote:


But then what do the pongoes know?


They know Syphilis, Gonorrhea, and Herpes, those ancient Greek goddesses of lust.....

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Post #: 84
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/19/2010 2:34:29 AM   
Chickenboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Crabs:

Another more plausible explanation as to why the RN refer to the RAF as 'crabs' goes back to the days of rum, sodomy and the lash (about last week in fact). One of the more unsavoury aspects of the average matelot was his unfortunate habit of contracting pubic lice or "crabs" during his shore leave. The treatment for this condition was to get a chum or shipmate to apply a liberal application of a greasy blue/grey ointment (known affectionately as "crab fat") to the affected area. The proper name for the ointment was Blue Unction.

With the RN's usual powers of wit and sophistication the RAF were thereafter referred to as 'crab fats' (or crabs for short) as their blue/grey uniform was exactly the same colour as the stuff that the filthy little ratings rubbed on their swollen and lice-ravaged goolies. The RAF by contrast affectionately refer to the Royal Navy as Bum Boys or Fish Heads. The Army are Pongos, Brown Jobs or Grunts.

Lifted from here:
http://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/Crab_Air#Origins_of_.27Crab.27

But then what do the pongoes know?

@ sprior: After you've just spent two very informative paragraphs describing pubic lice in the RN, do you really think I'm going to follow your link to www.arrse....? C'mon mate-be fair!

Edited to remove the 'l' from public to make 'pubic'. Come to think of it, though, public is rather appropo too...

< Message edited by Chickenboy -- 1/19/2010 2:38:20 AM >

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RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/19/2010 7:08:08 AM   
Grollub


Posts: 6674
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Status: offline 		Just FYI, that link is hilarious. Not entirely PC though ...

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Post #: 86
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/19/2010 10:16:06 AM   
sprior


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

@ sprior: After you've just spent two very informative paragraphs describing pubic lice in the RN, do you really think I'm going to follow your link to www.arrse....? C'mon mate-be fair!



It happens to be the ARmy Rumour SErvice. I'm sure they'll be bummed to know you thought anything else...

And no, it's not very PC. But then what do you expect from people who wear brown for a living?

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



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Post #: 87
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/19/2010 8:40:44 PM   
scott64


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RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/19/2010 8:45:07 PM   
BrucePowers


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior


quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

@ sprior: After you've just spent two very informative paragraphs describing pubic lice in the RN, do you really think I'm going to follow your link to www.arrse....? C'mon mate-be fair!



It happens to be the ARmy Rumour SErvice. I'm sure they'll be bummed to know you thought anything else...

And no, it's not very PC. But then what do you expect from people who wear brown for a living?



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Post #: 89
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 1/19/2010 9:27:56 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


Incidentally, I've been trying to pick up on this Mayor of Addu Atoll reference, and have failed completely.



I suspect you are using a quite literal meaning for "head of Diego Garcia". Try using a more "littoral" meaning and the second part will make sense.

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Post #: 90
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