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Franko starts an 80 year war... (PBEM WC) - 7/10/2002 10:17:26 PM

Curieus

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Newsflash **** 4000 points of Nationalist spanish troops have invaded the Netherlands. It seems that Franco has sent in General Rbrunsman to reopen hostilities with the Netherlands after several centuries of peace. The traitors now are claiming that since Spain is a Republic (A dictatorship in our opinion -ed) no Spanish king had the authority to sign the peace treaty of Westfalen (1648). The dutch army, still heavily suffering from years of pacifistic politicians has mobilised in haste. It is said that despite pleas from Col. van Bolhuis for starting the fight in defensive posture the high command has ordered to take a high ridge in contested area (Meeting engagement). A hastily assembled taskforce (True troop/rarity on) has started for the hills. Undertrained, Underarmed, the dutch army is clearly in a precarious position, but the man are determined to let the country survive, even if it will take another eighty years and even if we'll have to activate the ancient tradition of financing the war effort by selling weapons to the Spanish and then capturing their supply depots.

Post #: 1

The Re-Integration of the Lowlands to the Greater Spani... - 7/11/2002 7:15:55 AM

rbrunsman

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From: Phoenix, AZ
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The lawfully appointed Head of Government and Commander of the Military of the Empire of Spain, General Francisco Franco (el Caudillo), has determined that it is time for Spain to regain its position as a major Power in Europe and the World! Now that the small matter of dealing with the Republicans (along with their Communist masters) has been accomplished, it is time to punish those that opposed our Nationalist movement. Do not deny, Col. van Bolhuis, that the Netherlands aided the Republicans. It is now your turn to witness the might of Spain!

El Caudillo has decided to begin the Empire building by Re-Integrating Spain's Lost Provinces under his control first. Since the despised Peace of Westphalia, have the Lowlands been hiding behind the might of France, but el Caudillo believes the French are now weak and the time is ripe for conquest. I, General rbrunsman (Bob), have been tasked with the Reclaimation of the Netherlands. I will personally bring the "Prinsenvlag" of your capital to el Caudillo as evidence of the beginning of the glorious Re-Building of the Spanish Empire.

Personally, I would have rather waited until our industrial might could have had more time to build for war. However, since Germany has in the last week gobbled up Poland, it appears that the Strong (Spain) must act and the Weak (Netherlands) will be consumed sooner than expected.

Prepare to face the might (such as it is in 1939 :rolleyes: ) of the Spanish Juggernaught commanded by Bob.:p

(in reply to Curieus)

Post #: 2

- 7/12/2002 3:53:13 AM

rbrunsman

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----Technical Difficulties----:o
(What did you expect in 1939 Spain?)

---- Please Stand By ----
(The Netherlands will have to wait a while longer before being brought into the fold of the New Spanish Empire.) :D

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Post #: 3

Technical difficulties - 7/12/2002 2:34:34 PM

Curieus

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As an example of the difficulties the Dutch High Command runs in to, lets take a look at the pre-bombardment. There are several nice high hills on the map that would make a perfect spotting location. Those hills are however unseasonably dry so High Command decided to give them some rain in order to convince the spaniards that they don't want this piece of real estate, too (many) wet (pants). Lo and Behold, what happens? Some rooky artillerist, probably fresh from the farm, just finished "shuffling **** in Arizona" switches the HE with smoke grenades :rolleyes: A well now the spanish will have to come a bit closer to take a good look at the landscape :D

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Post #: 4

Smoke and fire - 7/12/2002 10:55:49 PM

Curieus

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Well it seems the smoke has had some effect, we got complaints from the spanish general, a renegade american :p about spoiling the view. Apparently the general isn't quite in agreement with his own troops for several mortars and a motorcyclist added some more smoke of their own. But then with those morrocan troops you (can) have, those are probably smoking a wild pipe... Meanwhile it rains down fire, several 100 mm batteries are battering either our lines or empty space (This particular set ofinformation doesn't want to be free ;) ) A few casualties arise from this poisoned rain. Col. van Bolhuis surveys the damage and advises HQ to send his opponent the required forms for filling out an Environmental Impact Report. Few spanish oathbreakers are seen. In the north a MC squad was spotted, probably bringing an invitation for a BBQ. Other troops are riding in on the meat necessary for this feast.. BTW my dear opponent, have you seen that wet and depressed area marked "Polder?" That is no polder. A real polder is much worse. Imagine wading through hipdeep to breastdeep water, deep ditches at irregular interval, barbed wire, and fences thrown in for good measure and several MG emplacements coordinating your arrival. :D And if you'd threaten to break through anyway, we can always raise the waterlevel with 2 meters. Can you swim with all your equipment? Thought not. That is the country you'll encounter should you succeed in getting past me :mad: You will long for the pleasant and amiable battles with the international brigade in Spain. So go home while you still are ahead.

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- 7/13/2002 5:39:28 AM

rbrunsman

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"Unseasonably dry"??!! It's raining cats and dogs over here! It will take hours (which we don't have) for our foot soldiers to even get into rifle range slogging through your Lowland "Polders" (nasty bits of farmland if you ask me, what are you growing here? fish?).

Oh, and Colonel, you may want to hold on to that request for the Environment Impact Report because I'm going to see about drying your troops out with a little more fire from the sky. I suggest you keep your head down Colonel.

And I believe that "rooky artillerist" who likes the smoke so much must have come from Amsterdam ( and we all know what that means ... [SIZE=1]pothead[/SIZE] ). He must have finished what he was smokin' and decided he needed to smoke every beautiful hill on the map. :mad:

As for my men, I can assure none of them are "impaired." Well, except for my Topos. Those **** lazy special forces men have pretty much decided to take a siesta during this battle (arriving turn 99:mad: )

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Post #: 6

- 7/13/2002 12:54:05 PM

NaKATPase

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From: Madison, WI
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Great choice of nations guys! :)
I'm curious to find out how this one will end.

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Post #: 7

See, another reason to flee - 7/13/2002 3:15:07 PM

Curieus

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Complaining about the rain? Oh yes i forgot: "In spain it mainly rains in the plains" Well here it rains everywhere. Usually those drops are smaller than 210 mm though :( . Meanwhile i have another thing to settle with my "morocan drugs debilitated" gunner. When we paint those yellow numbers two round in advance, you should have enough time to hit where we ask you :confused: Say what is the matter with your MC squads are they composed of unarmed court martial cases? They die so easily, please send some more troops like that :D As for your Topos squad, well that is your own fault for two reasons: 1) If you wanted to make sure they arrive you should have escorted them with your more reliable troops and more importantly 2) "Topos" is very close to "Tapas" so the mistake is easily made, and your men will sleep till 7 in the evening and then will go to a bar to drink something and eat some tapas. But don't despair, people under influence of alcohol tend to do strange things. Note to self: Why am i consoling a renegade american in collusion with oathbreakers?:rolleyes: Must have something to do with that stash of morocan contraband i impounded from a certain gunner.:D

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Post #: 8

- 7/14/2002 3:21:19 AM

rbrunsman

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As for those motorcycle squads driving full speed in the direction of Spain, they drove past me so fast I barley had time to stop them and get their report that as opposed to their tiny little rifles, the Dutch motorcyle squads carry 3 MGs each!:eek: So, we decided that they would just stick to keeping an eye on that large force you have in the North all grouped together and just asking for some 210mm attention.:) I told you I would stop rearranging the landscape in the Southwest where you keep those rats with binoculars.

And don't be to hard on your pothead artillery man, he did manage to score a few hits. He did better than my men in their last barrage.

As for the Topos, I rounded up those taking a siesta and executed them. We shall see how the remaining men carry out their task...:cool: <--- that's a Moroccan spy.

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Post #: 9

- 7/14/2002 10:25:53 AM

rbrunsman

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Just a quick note because "Mrs. General Bob" is calling me away from the battle field.:o

Col. Van Bolhuis is going to get bad news when he wakes up Sunday morning! That artillery plot I warned him about just landed and I lost count of the number of casualties he suffered with all that 210mm "rain" landing over there.:D

His batteries did inflict a little damage to my troops but nothing on the scale of the devastation I just witnessed.

Now if I can only get these rookie troops rallied and moving forward. :mad:

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Post #: 10

Purple rain..... - 7/14/2002 6:14:52 PM

Curieus

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That 210 mm did and does hurt. On the bright side, telegrams with "Dear mr/mrs we regret to inform you that your son..." are cheaper than purple hearts...:( Of course spanish letters are even cheaper, so we will try to make them send some post home too :cool: Meanwhile nothing much is happening, his troops are stil chickening out somewhere, but what do you expect it is raining and in the 16th and 17th century we also scared the spanish troops away with water :D We'll see what happens when (if :confused: ) we survive that 210 mm bombardment....

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Post #: 11

"Chickening Out"?!! - 7/15/2002 1:43:50 PM

rbrunsman

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Might I remind you Colonel, that my men hold two of the three objective areas and are enjoying the wonderful fireworks display your artillery batteries are providing for them --- up close and personal! They just wish they didn't have to camp right where the shells are exploding! :eek:

If your troops would stop "playing" in the moonscape I provided in the northwest we might actually get to see some real action on this battlefield. :D

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Post #: 12

motorcycles - 7/15/2002 2:30:09 PM

Curieus

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By the way, for your convenience i did some research into the origin of the dutch motorcycle squad armament. It seems that the blame can be laid with a general, further to stay unnamed. His hobbies were riding the motorcycle and punching holes with bullets. The combination of these hobbies created those motorcycles. While i am personaly very happy with the direct consequences (3 MG MC squads) i am less than thrilled with the secondary results (all the MG's in the army placed on MC's) :rolleyes:

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Post #: 13

Counting is hard. - 7/16/2002 12:11:22 AM

Curieus

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Even after several checks Col van Bolhuis was sure that his opponent was incapable of counting. Two out of three victory areas? By his count there were 5 areas and the spanish had 3. So perhaps the spanish protest was correct and wasn't this a case of chickening out, but a case of not being able to count beyond 3. Perhaps 3 in spanish means something like "to many to count" So the message should be decifered as "we hold 2 out of umm we don't know that number areas":D Anyway lets ask that those prisoners from that scouting motorcycle platoon. Impolite bastards, you don't interrupt an afternoon break. Sun is scarce enough in this country that sunbathing is virtually a sacrosanct act :cool: Oh btw, i can assure you that by now most of my troops have stopped playing ever umm in the moonlandscape i mean...:mad:

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Post #: 14

I stand corrected. - 7/16/2002 2:14:06 AM

rbrunsman

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I should say, 2 of the 3 "contested" VH areas. We all know you have no hope of gaining my backfield VHs. And, since most of my Topos (Spec. Forces) have decided to sit out this meeting engagement:mad: , I don't think I have much hope of taking your starting VHs. Unless, of course, you are so foolish as to waste all of your troops assaulting the VHs I have locked up with impenetrable interlaced killing fields of fire. :D [SIZE=1](General Bob said, hoping the Colonel would buy this bit of disinformation.)[/SIZE]

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- 7/17/2002 12:32:12 AM

rbrunsman

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I shouldn't have said "killing fields." The Colonels 150mm arty just tattooed many of my units. But the Colonel's men seem to have disappeared into the countryside. I can hardly see any of his units. Where have you gotten to my friend?

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Post #: 16

Time is flowing like a river, ever mountain up - 7/17/2002 2:48:41 AM

Curieus

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Puzzled Colonel van Bolhuis looked at the battle field. Again bringing his binoculars to his eyes he looked at an AT gun. It looked perfectly normal. Except. it wasn't supposed to be there, and five minutes ago it wasn't. It teleported approx 200 meters. Several other units had suffered the same fate. Artillery shells impacting on the spanish held hills suddens reappeard, flew backwards, fixing the meadows. Only to drop down again. Inflicting different casualties. His watch.... It just went back five minutes and suddenly went forward again... "I really must stop researching that morocan contraband i took from that gunner. Even if it is all for science" the colonel thought :cool: "Anyway, there is a battle going on, lets find some more MC squads to question"

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- 7/18/2002 2:49:19 AM

rbrunsman

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None of my men were smokin' that "wackie tabaccy." I think you should lay off the hashish Colonel. Dead men tell no tales and they certainly don't get up and walk around!:rolleyes:

(I hope your timewarp has been completed and we can get back to the smackdown.) :D

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Post #: 18

Timewarp? - 7/18/2002 5:45:19 AM

TimeTanker

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Did somebody mention a Timewarp?

If you have could you send it round right away? I lost mine in Bastogne. I traded it for one of our Harleys with some crazy SS Officer that claimed that in the future there will be these things called Computators. He said he was really from the future and had the distinguished title of "Techno-Geek".

I said that was a fancy name for some one that bites the heads off of Chickens in the Carnival.

So if you have found my Timewarp (it has my name in fingernail polish on the bottom near the exhaust port from the warp generator) could you send it to me by pushing the return button on the left side of the decade readout guage?

Thanks guys, and I really got some serious laughs from your posts. :D

_____________________________

"You can run...but, you will only die tired"

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Post #: 19

- 7/18/2002 6:22:44 AM

Supervisor

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Hey I'm lost in Bastonge, go get lost in you own city.:)

_____________________________

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Post #: 20

City....? - 7/18/2002 6:32:32 AM

TimeTanker

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I don't need no stinkin' city.

My own imagination throws up enough road blocks to keep me busy. :D

We now return you to your regularly scheduled contest between Spain and the Netherlands. Underwater Artillery duels.

_____________________________

"You can run...but, you will only die tired"

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Post #: 21

Underwater?? - 7/18/2002 6:46:54 AM

Curieus

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How do you mean underwater? The sluices (sp?) in the dikes are still closed [just wait for that you evil spaniards, just when you have won, you drown. I could say "life is a bitch and then you die, but i think someone on this forum has a better description :D ] No this is a mere refreshment of a parched land, we could use it, after all only 49 mm of rain fell yet this week As for that artillery duel, nothing much is going on. I removed 3 spanish offenders and that is all. On the bright side, an AA gun of mine introduced a spanish AC crew to the delights of sunbathing during drizzle rain. The main advantages being not having to use any sunblock due to the 8/8 cloud cover and not getting too warm due to watercooling. :D I hope to meet them soon in our generous guest reception area (POW camp) where we can babble (interrogate) with them about how spanish engineering seems to be soooo superior (as if) that they feel the need to teach russians how to build AC's by copying the designs. (Chevrolet, yeah right!) Many t(h)anks to Goblin for showing how to use subliminal messages. I am still learning. Sincerely Col. van Bolhuis

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Am Osten nichts neues - 7/19/2002 12:05:16 AM

Curieus

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With a bitter look Col. van Bolhuis surveys the carnage. "Those 210mm guns should be outlawed under the convention of Geneva. They are evil, Our 15 cm guns are just peashooters compared with those. Scratch one MC squad for at least half of the remaining battle. Well on te bright side we liberated a couple of thoroughbred Andalusian horses. Seems like the riders felt like doing something else, they just dispersed!;) " Meanwhile this battle is turning into one big game of hide and seek, but then without the seeking :rolleyes: While the dutch troops are trying to (foolishly :confused: ) advance through a torrential downpour of metal, the insolent and cowardly spanish only dare to take long range potshots. Typical...:p

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Post #: 23

- 7/19/2002 6:56:37 AM

rbrunsman

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Colonel, if you stop raining metal on my head my infantry may get to advance more than the 25 meters they gave up when they ran away from your barrages.

Fine thanks I get for leaving an AC out for you to look at. You shot him! :( The crew was so surprised that they were hit that they decided to step out for a moment to see if that AAA actually scratched the paint.

My Topos (or should I say the few that made the trip) were so excited about drawing first blood in close melee that they decided valour was better than discretion and dropped a satchel charge on that unwitting infantry squad that was standing next to them. Unfortunately, as soon as that happened all hell broke loose with all those other Dutch troops taking exception to the affront. I don't expect to hear from my Topos again. I am putting them in for whatever decoration the Spanish give for bravery (posthumously, I'm sure). Stupidity does not disqualify one for a medal does it? :rolleyes:

Not my horses.... Noooooo..... If you want me to seek, you have to let me get closer. ;)

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Post #: 24

- 7/20/2002 6:40:53 AM

rbrunsman

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Finally! We have inflicted some actual direct fire casualties upon the Dutch. :D Granted, they were mortars in direct fire. (Small pleasures, I take what I can get.)

My cavalry in the south are the only troops actually moving forward and they managed to kill a recon squad and route another. I'm very proud of them. :)

My tankers and AC troops apparently can't hit anything. They are too interested in climbing out of their units to look at the scratches the Dutch are making in their newly painted vehicles. Now if I could just convince them to get back in and man their weapons. Perhaps it was that they hopped out to see what all the screaming was about as my infantry, cavalry and Motorcycles go running by, in the wrong direction. :mad: That's what they get for playing hot potato with 150mm Dutch arty! :eek:

As for my special forces: my second, and therefore last (maybe?? ;) ), Topos infiltrators showed up and dropped a bomb in the lap of one of those hated x3MG motorcycle squads. I don't expect to see them again either. Their families back in Morrocco will be very pleased with the lovely medals (posthumous) they will receive to place next to the pictures of their dearly departed.

Bring it on Colonel! See if you can catch me. You might be able to stop my men from running the wrong way. :confused: :confused:

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Glad to oblige - 7/20/2002 7:07:47 AM

Curieus

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You can now send medals to the family members of this topos sqauds personnel. But you don't fool me, there is at least one other squad around... Oh yeah, since that mortar destroyed some wheels of mine, i decided to get some new wheels from the closest availble dealer. What would you think? It took some loud nocking to even open the door. Then some MG to convince them to trade and stop looking. Worst part of it: Those Chevrolet wheels don't fit!!! Well i'll have to investigate whether other chevrolet wheels do fit :confused: I saw you are offering at least one on sale in the south too now.

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Post #: 26

Glad to oblige II - 7/20/2002 4:35:04 PM

Curieus

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Another destination for those left over Topos Medals. But you still don't fool me. You still are around :rolleyes: I stop firing artillery for one round, after your non-stop pitifull complaining that my artillery is killing you. And what do i get? More complaining on how you are suppressed and even worse: Next to that already known 210mm regiment and 100 mm regiment (actually 105mm) a complete and fresh 152mm regiment opens fire. :eek: That is reaaaally the way to let me stop firing my artillery :mad: Well anyway, i sent my written reply to your forward tank. Nailed through the armour somewhere. Sheesh what an abomination, a PzKfw I with a 20 mm L55 cannon. The tank looks definitely unbalanced now. :cool:

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Post #: 27

- 7/21/2002 4:24:40 AM

rbrunsman

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I was just cleaning out the last odd rounds from the tubes of those 210s. The 150s haven't been used yet because I failed to check the range of the batteries when I purchased them and what do I discover in round one? If I fire at maximum range I can just about reach my own front lines!:eek: :mad: That last barrage from them just slipped out. They were only to be used if the battle started going poorly for me. I was using delayed preplotting just as you do, Colonel. Except I forgot to adjust fire for them. Your own 150s are doing quite well enough on their own without me blasting my own men. :rolleyes:

I swear that was the last Topos squad to infiltrate into those rocks in your rear area. But you are welcome to continue blasting away with your satchel charges to roust out anyone that I may have misplaced in there. ;)

On a positive note for my otherwise suppressed or retreating men, my Light Cav. in the south is making up for the sad showing their northern brothers are making. They blasted a wagon, an infantry squad and a gun crew. And what do they get for their valorous behavior? A stroll in a minefield!:eek: Now that's just not nice. I would never use mines. They are so inhumane (as opposed to 210mm arty, at least you can hear it coming before you get blasted to bits).:)

My "tanks" in the north did however convince one Dutch "tank" crew (we use the word "tank" broadly in the Dutch and Nat. Spain Armies) to exit their vehicle to inspect the scratches on their paint.

In summation Colonel, I must congratulate you on suckering me into advancing on you with your allegations of cowardice on the part of my men. No sooner do my "tanks" come over the hills than your AAA blasts a hole in one of them! ("Now," General Bob thinks to himself, "what can I do to take care of that AAA that is in cover on the far hillside blasting away at my precious tanks?" "Of course," the General says to himself, "I've got it!" And he reaches for the field telephone to order more artillery!!):D

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Post #: 28

hmm, Artillery.. - 7/22/2002 2:26:11 AM

Curieus

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Off course there are mines in the south. I know that woods are an excellent defensive terrain, but not when you have troops armed and motivated like mine :rolleyes: The same whacky general that stripped the complete dutch infantry of machineguns in order to put them on motorcycles also dismantled a stack of 1870 gun grenades and planted them in the ground. He hoped for little grenade. And what do you know? This time he was right :p As far as you tank is concerned, i agree that blasting it was a mistake. I should have waited :D. But the cries of terror of that bycicle infantry squad you drove past were so hartbreaking that i decided to help them. They took the message to hart and fled the moment the tank brewed. You probably still can see them.:cool: So blame it on them, not on me :D

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Post #: 29

- 7/22/2002 1:44:51 PM

rbrunsman

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You would think I'd have learned after the first "one shot one kill" episode with that AAA. But, no, I had to peak over that hill one more time just to be sure and what happens? "Two shots, two kills.":mad:

I, on the other hand, have taken ~20 shots from <10 range and I've only managed to get one tank crew to bail. :mad:

Oh well, we play the hand we're dealt. My gunners must be drinking/smoking something. You can lead a horse to water, but...

In the south I found another landmine (the hardway). This made such an impression on the retreating bicycle squad and tank that were in view of this tragedy that they some how rallied and took shots at my poor light cav. :(

We have quite a large force of Dutch making a move in the north. And the Colonel is doing a fine job of walking his arty right in front of his advance. We'll just have to see when (if:rolleyes: ) I bring the hammer down and crush that advance.

The middle VHs are still the same, I hold them with men that are suppressed and pinned and waiting for the next volley of 150s to arrive. They're beginning to get the impression that the Dutch are rather inhospitable.

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