Grollub
Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/9/2005 From: Lulea, Sweden Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sprior The real cause of WW1: Baldrick: No, the thing is: The way I see it, these days there's a war on, right? and, ages ago, there wasn't a war on, right? So, there must have been a moment when there not being a war on went away, right? and there being a war on came along. So, what I want to know is: How did we get from the one case of affairs to the other case of affairs? Edmund: Do you mean "How did the war start?" Baldrick: Yeah. George: The war started because of the vile Hun and his villainous empire- building. Edmund: George, the British Empire at present covers a quarter of the globe, while the German Empire consists of a small sausage factory in Tanganyika. I hardly think that we can be entirely absolved of blame on the imperialistic front. George: Oh, no, sir, absolutely not. (aside, to Baldick) Mad as a bicycle! Baldrick: I heard that it started when a bloke called Archie Duke shot an ostrich 'cause he was hungry. Edmund: I think you mean it started when the Archduke of Austro-Hungary got shot. Baldrick: Nah, there was definitely an ostrich involved, sir. Edmund: Well, possibly. But the real reason for the whole thing was that it was too much effort *not* to have a war. George: By God this is interesting; I always loved history -- The Battle of Hastings, Henry VIII and his six knives, all that. Edmund: You see, Baldrick, in order to prevent war in Europe, two superblocs developed: us, the French and the Russians on one side, and the Germans and Austro-Hungary on the other. The idea was to have two vast opposing armies, each acting as the other's deterrent. That way there could never be a war. Baldrick: But this is a sort of a war, isn't it, sir? Edmund: Yes, that's right. You see, there was a tiny flaw in the plan. George: What was that, sir? Edmund: It was bollocks.
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“Not mastering metaphores is like cooking pasta when the train is delayed"
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