Onime No Kyo
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Joined: 4/28/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Chickenboy
quote:
ORIGINAL: Terminus
Or in a country where a woman adopts a child of 7 from Russia, gets tired of it, and puts it on a flight back again by itself.
Dude. Putting that kid back on a flight to Moscow by himself was wrong. Full stop. But, I doubt it's a question of 'getting tired' of "it"(sic).
Do you really think that there's a lot of 7 Y.O.s adopted out from Russian orphanages that are going to be perfectly normal from the experience?
We just had a case here where a teenage Russian adoptee (adopted from Russian orphanage as a 12 Y.O.) tried to shoot up a school, but the gun jammed from being loaded with the wrong ammunition. This boy had a history of violent behavior in the household, arson and so forth.
Last year, the adoptive parents approached the state and said that they were at wit's end and didn't know what to do. The state's response was essentially 'tough-he's your problem, deal with him, cause we won't help'. Six months ago the parents surrendered their legal parental rights / responsibilities and had to turn him over as a ward of the court.
Adoption agencies are into pushing volume and getting rid of problem cases-so they're not without blame. Friends of ours that adopted a 15 Y.O. adolescent girl went into the process with eyes wide open. Their requirements? No perps (slang for perpetrators-someone with a criminal record). No firestarters. Within a week of having her in their household, they discovered that she had been both and the agency covered it up to get this 'problem child' off of their books. Our friends 'returned' the child to the agency's custody.
I can't think of a more heart-wracking decision than giving up your child because he or she cannot be controlled. But there are some bad eggs out there, T. No amount of parental love, oversight or guidance is going to fix some of them that are irrevocably screwed up. It's sad, but true.
You hit it right on the head with the phrase "eyes open".
The simple truth is that you can make a large bet that a child coming from an adoption program has not had a happy life. At best, his parents died in some tragic manner and he has no next of kin. That child will be very damaged psychologically. But at least he knows what parental care is, has experienced it before. As a happy medium, the child was abandoned as a baby and spent his entire life in institutions. These are not what one would call friendly places and they grow kids up psychologically very fast. So even at 7, youre getting a kid that is emotionally much more mature and self reliant than most children his age, and likely resentful for it. And at absolute worst, the child had been taken away by the state from an alcoholic father, a drug addict mother, a pedophile uncle, you name it, and has been abused, probably in multiple ways, both mental and physical. So no, you will not get a sweet, gentle angel who will live his life thanking you for dragging him out of that hellhole. He might eventually, but you have to make a hell of a sizable investment beforehand.
Throw in the fact that he comes from a different culture. Throw in that he has never had even close to the level of material possessions that Americans take for granted.
Put it all together, and you have yourself quite a soup.
So yeah, not only is it absolutely abhorrent, inhuman, idiotic to put a 7 year old child on a plane to Russia with a note pinned to his shirt. Its equally idiotic to adopt a child without being ready for what it entails.
And I'm with T on his original statement, that they got themselves a new toy, got sick of it and tried to return it to the manufacturer as defective. These arnt people, theyre slime.
[/rant]
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