Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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*******Officer's Club, USAAF 90th BS(M), Auckland, April, 22, 1942****** Hirsute USAAF Cpt.:...look, Milo, you crazy SOB, I am NOT going to live in one of those stupid winterized Quonset huts again. Young man in fine silk shirt: What do you mean, again? I haven't even rolled them out yet. They are still in development. Oh...wait...I see. It's the time travel thing again. Yossarian, have I ever told you that you are the craziest SOB in the squadron? Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: Many times. I can't count the number of times you have told me I am the craziest SOB in the squadron. I tell you what, Milo, you crazy SOB, I am NOT crazy enough to live in one of your winterized Quonset huts again. I know you made the whole Global Cooling thing up. Young man in fine silk shirt: I did not! We have data. Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: Look, Milo, you crazy SOB. I am not going to say anything, just promise me you don't bring the damn things to the 90th. Young man in fine silk shirt: Done! But, Yossarian, I am curious how you found out. Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: That's not all I know about. I know about Pitcarin. Young man in fine silk shirt: Pitcarin? Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: Yes, Pitcarin. Young man in fine silk shirt: I don't know what you are talking about? Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: Oh, come off it, Milo. I am a "majority" owner <makes air quotes. He withdraws a tattered document from his pocket. It reads "Issued July 1, 1942, 1,000 shares M&M Enterprise, Shipbuilding Division". It is signed by "Milo Minderbinder, President". He hands it to the other man> Young man in fine silk shirt: <examines the document, which appears genuine. A look of growing surprise appears on his face> Sweet Mother of God! Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: Exactly, Madre de Dios! Young man in fine silk shirt: Madre de Dios! Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: That's what I said. Young man in fine silk shirt: <Pauses> Yossarian, you crazy SOB, do you realize what we could do in the stock market? Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: Nah, I didn't pay attention to that kind of stuff. Young man in fine silk shirt: What about sports betting? Who is going to win the World Series this year? Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: Cardinals in 5 in 42-a. Young man in fine silk shirt: I'll make some calls. Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: I wouldn't do that, Milo, you crazy SOB. Young man in fine silk shirt: Why not? <sits back down> Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: Because, it was the Yanks in 6 in 42(b). Young man in fine silk shirt: No? Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: Yes. Young man in fine silk shirt: What is going to happen in the Fall? Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: How should I know? I can't see the future, not really. I just know how the future turned out in the past. You see, Musial got drafted in 42(b). The Cards just couldn't do it without Musial. Young man in fine silk shirt: Well, is Musial going to get drafted this time? Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: How should I know? Ask the Dept. of the Army. Young man in fine silk shirt: Do you mean we can change the future? Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: I can't believe you just asked me that you crazy fatalistc SOB. Young man in fine silk shirt: YOSSARIAN, YOU CRAZY SOB! THAT'S BRILLIANT! <jumps upright> We need to make sure Musial doesn't get drafted, then we put everything on the Cards! <runs out of the club>
< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/3/2010 5:49:52 PM >
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