lancer
Posts: 2963
Joined: 10/18/2005 Status: offline
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I fidget impatiently while flunkies powder my face. ‘Optimising your facial attributes’ is nothing but a polite euphemism for dewrinkling. Major event. Expected to top ratings world wide. Billions watching. Poised for the Great Debate. High Council have sent their best man to shoot me down. Quameno have sent their Ambassador to ensure the job is done properly. Legions of assistants, lawyers and coaches have been working with the Ambassador and the Prime Minister for days to prepare for this crucial event. The forces of obstruction lined up against me are formidable. Both the High Council and the Quameno realise that they must decisively quash any possible unrest. There is no middle ground. The population of Zion must realise that the scurrilous rumours of the fall of the Consonian Empire - bought about by the sudden Quameno influx - are just that, rumours and innuendo. Not facts. Not true. Perpetuated by an ancient has-been who has no right to be here. That would be me. The blatant subtext is that your so-called Emperor is a fake and a phoney who will be dealt with in an appropriate manner shortly. Trust us, we know what is best for Zion. No doubt about it, battlelines have been draw. The planet is no longer big enough for the High Council, the Toads and myself. I had to fight tooth and nail to even get the opportunity to debate the issue. High Council worried that any air time would only further oxygenate the crisis. Only numerous well placed leaks of the explosive message from President Axehead got me over the line. Public insisted. High Council correct to be concerned. Which means tonight they not only have to win the debate but they have to crush me before all of Zion. Reduce me to the pitiful, xenophobic old man that they think I am. Admiral Wanda would have been the natural choice to oppose me. A forceful, well respected, capable female who brooks no nonsense from the likes of me. Unfortunately she’s indisposed. Dispersed. Visiting other places. Lots of places. All at once. Bad luck about that. It’s left to the Prime Minister to carry the flag. Not somebody I have much time for. Wasn’t he the guy who lost his kid down the food disposal unit? What level of respect can you give a man who allows his own children to be chop-sueyed into mush and bone fragments? Zorg cautioned me to not underestimate him. Apparently a forceful presence when he wants to be. Fully charged with high level coaching and gene-tailored stimulants he could prove to be a redoubtable opponent. Looks like a tosser to me. Amber light flashing. Off we go. Ushered out onto the stage. Take my place on the far left. Prime Minister on the right and the Quameno Ambassador in the middle. Hope the toad doesn’t do anything embarrassing. Like trying to sit on the microphone. And twist. Wouldn’t put it past him. Who the heck knows what toads are capable off? Just as likely to give the whole world a birds and the bees lesson, toadie-style, than argue his case. Personally I think it’s degrading that I have to share a stage with a lesser, swamp-dwelling species. We humans shouldn’t have to put up with this. And we won’t. Times, they are a changing. Watch out frog face. Evolution is about to kick you in the nuts. Hard. Moderator brings the debate to order. Lot of waffle from the Prime Minister. Even more from the Ambassador. All kinds of nonsense about the need for harmony. Working together. A shared history of trust and mutual benefit. Multi-racial wonderland of joy. Moderator clearly biased. Five minutes of this touchy feely government sponsored cheer squad for ‘We love the toads’ and they still haven’t let me get a word in. To busy ramping up the mutual love message. Best be careful they don’t end up with Amphibian AIDs. “…and over to your Emperor!” Lights, camera, action. Zorg lobbied me hard for presenting all manner of persuasive arguments. None of it necessary. Leaning forward, I stare straight into the HoloCams. And stare some more. Build the anticipation. Moderator coughs impatiently. Without taking my eyes of the ‘cams I ask the Toad ‘Is it true?’. Cut the cr*p and go for the jugular. Quameno Ambassador launches into a long, ambling dissertation about the benefits of living together here on Zion. “Hey Toad! “ I shout, patience at an end, “is it true?” Prime Minister interjects forcefully, stating that this is no way to treat the Ambassador. Without taking my eyes off the ‘cams, I politely ask the moderator to ‘please get the Toad to answer the bloody question’. Moderator makes pious noises about terminating the debate. Massive breach of decorum. Emperor revealed as nothing more than a lowly muckraker. Forced to repeat myself. “I’m not hearing anything from the Toad. Is the Toad deaf? Did I, perhaps, make the question too complicated?” Moderator has had enough. Motions to kill the HoloCam feed. Close down the show. Can’t do it. Live ratings feed is off the scale. Half the world is watching, hanging on the Toad’s response. All time ratings bonanza. Commercial suicide to kill the golden goose. Out of the corner of my eye I catch a glance of the holoBank displaying what all the individual‘cams are showing to the audience. At least three of them are tight focus on the Ambassador. Beads of sweat ooze down his sickly green skin. Time to make my move. With a stern but decisive expression, I step out from behind my podium, shoulder the moderator aside and thrust my face into the Toads. Their long sticky red tongues can take out an eye with a wayward flick. Dangerous. Gritting my teeth I courageously put my personal safety on the line, silently urging the toad it give it his best shot. The Toad passes. Thought so. Naked amphibian aggression would only serve to emphasise my point. “IS IT TRUE!” I shout at the Toad, shotgunning spittle all over his face. Prime Minister goes ballistic. Demanding this and that. I swing round slightly so I’ve got my back to him. Shut him out of the conversation. Close in on the Toad. Make sure the ‘cams have got a good shot of us both. Fix a deep, unimpressed, scowl on my face. Toad speechless. Recoiling backwards. Clearly not going to answer. Too much for it. One big hop and it jumps out of sight. Good riddance. Turning ever so slowly to the ‘cams I speak for all of mankind. “Toads have no place on Zion. They destroyed the Consonians, they will destroy us.” Dramatic pause. “IF WE LET THEM!” Before anyone can interject I hold up a nifty, high vis nuero-encoder card that Zorg slipped me. Subliminally flashes a web address throughout the realm. Special site. Full of footage dating from the collapse of the Consonian Empire. Goggly-eyed Toads in armour racing towards the camera. Shooting rockets through the windows of family homes. Mum’s decapitated head rolling around the roast dinner and messing up the gravy. Evil, satanic Toads rampaging through helpless crowds of people, slaughtering at will. Eating babies. Alive. Made up of course. Totally fictitious. Zorg has access to a discrete, high-end animation studio. Did a superb job. Extremely realistic omni-directional blood spurts. Viscous slow-mo arching trajectories done right. President Axehead would understand. A four month communication lag between Zion and Conson should ensure that nobody is in a position to challenge the veracity of my special, high definition, ‘historical’ footage. Extracts from secret Quameno archives. How the Toads have a secret contingency plan to Pearl Harbour humanity here on Zion. Made up as well. What are the toads going to do, dispute it? Nobody can read Toad except toads. Besides, who’s going to believe a slimy green frog? Debate over. Security holding back the studio audience. Zorg managed to infiltrate a handful of agitators. Hollering ‘Death to the Toads! Kill them all!’, for all they are worth. HoloCams still rolling. Inspiring footage. To be continued... Lancer
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