BBfanboy
Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010 From: Winnipeg, MB Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake **********Briefing Room. 90th BS(M), USAAF, Sydney, May 12, 1942****** Col. Cathcart:...next week, the squadron is scheduled to have a demonstration attack on stationary derelict ships. We will come in at 15,000 ft. I want the formations tight. General Dreedle will be observing... Hirsute USAAF Officer: <stands up> Oh, OH, OH, Sir? Col. Cathcart: Yes? What is it son? <slightly annoyed> Hirsute USAAF Officer: 15 is too high sir. We will never hit anything. Col. Cathcart: That's doctrine, son. Hirsute USAAF Officer: Yes, I know Col., but the doctrine is full of crap. The Japs aren't going to sit still. It takes forever for a bomb to fall from 15,000 feet. Col. Cathcart: Captain, are you telling me USAAF Bombing Command doesn't know what they are doing? Hirsute USAAF Officer: Well, yes, yes I am. You see nobody has attacked an enemy ship from a B-25 yet..this time around I mean. I predict they will change the doctrine, sir. Col. Cathcart: Oh, you do, do you? Hirsute USAAF Officer: Yes sir. In fact, prediction isn't really the right word. I KNOW they will change the doctrine. Let us go in at 1,000. Then maybe some of these knuckleheads might actually hit something. <motions toward the other pilots in the room, most of whom now have mouths agape> Col. Cathcart: <says something quietly to two burly MP's who then separate and head down the side aisles toward the hirsute office> What is your name, son? Hirsute USAAF Officer: Yossarian, sir. Col. Cathcart: Yossinovsky, do you have some kind of death wish? Hirsute USAAF Officer: No sir, but it wouldn't matter if I did. Col. Cathcart: <gives the high sign to the MP's who move down the row toward the hirsute officer> Despite Capt. Yossinovich's theory, the squadron will attack at 15,000 ft. Now, where was I............ I can see it now - The good general Dreedle gets air sickness so he decides to observe from a specially constructed set of bleachers [complete with canopy and wet bar] from one mile away. All his staff are with him. I predict a change of command ...
|