Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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*************North Coast of Tanna, August 15***************** A beautiful grey PBY with orange pinstripes bobs in very light surf in an idyllic inlet. Two men climb a shallow hill toward another group of men. Man in fine linen slacks: Padre, remember, don't offer your right hand in a greeting. Father Emmanoulides: Why is that Sargeant? Man in fine linen slacks: Please, call me Milo, Padre. I'm not in the USAAF anymore. I'm dead. Besides, we are friends, right? Now, as to the right hand, in Tannanese culture, a right hand extended means I ate your wife. Father Emmanoulides: Oh Dear God! <blushes> Man in fine linen slacks: No, it's not like that Padre. It means I ate your wife's brain. They are cannibals. Father Emmanoulides: Oh, Sweet Jesus in Heaven! I can't belive I let you talk me into this. Man in fine linen slacks: You let me talk you into this Padre because M&M Enterprises is funding the new orphanage at Suva, a new school room, infirmatory, kitchen, you remember, Padre. Just remember extend your LEFT hand when you great them. Father Emmanoulides: What does THAT mean? Man in fine linen slacks: What does what mean? Father Emmanoulides: The left hand? Man in fine linen slacks: Oh, it just means "hello". <they approach a group of shirtless men in dungarees and homemade aviator's helmets and homemade eyeglass frames. Milo extends his left hand> Greetings Abton. This man Holy Man Emmanoulides. Father Emmanoulides: <nearly reaches out his right hand then catches himself> Greetings from the US Army. Mr. Roosevelt sends greetings. Abton: Who Roosevelt? Man in fine linen slacks: Boss of Ensign McGoo. Abton: Ah. Ensign McGoo <everyone in Tannanese group looks to sky> 2nd Cargo Cultist with much lighter pigmentation: Hory man say bressing. Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> Milo, I think he's Japanese. Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> He is Padre. A convert I expect. Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> But aren't we are war with them? Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> Not anyomre. This one works for me. Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> You are quite an extraordinary man. Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> Thank you Padre. I like you too. Now the bressing please. Father Emmanoulides: Very well, let us bow our heads.. Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> No Padre. Look up. This God comes by PBY. Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> God needs no physical conveyance. Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> This one does. Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> What should I ask for? Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> Spam and pots and pans. Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> But those are only possessions. It hardly seem Christian. Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> Padre, it's a Cargo Cult. Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> Oh yes. <now speaking out loud> Now, let us look to the Heavens....to the great PBY in the sky...may it bring us much Spam...and a complete set of Corningware <several of the Tannanese and converts begin to tremble>...and we beseech the, oh great PBY, please bring us Ensign McGoo.........<one of the former Shinto Boys, unaccustomed to such raw emotion, rolls his eyes back in his head and falls backward in relgious ecstasy>
< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 4/22/2011 5:08:41 AM >
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