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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/18/2011 5:27:24 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso


quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

In other news, Mandrake Jr. brought home a ferret that someone gave her. The thing stinks but pretends to like people so it is hard to not like back.

As this is a skinny, fur-bearing predator similar to a weasel, I assume this is somehow propitious.


Yes, let's assume that. If it dies let me know.

Uh oh... rumo(u)r has it that Adm. Nelson is sending a Ninja to SoCal to find the ferret...






How long have you been waiting to use that smiley, Bob?

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/18/2011 6:12:45 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		I am tempted to put the varmint outside and see how well he holds up to the tormentor of Jerry the rabbit.


No turn yet. So I was wearing this ancient, hideous golf shirt to work in the yard and Stalker Gril says:

Where did you get the shirt? <sarcastically>

Hey, I'll have you know I've had several inquiries.

Well, it is slimming.



"Slimming"? Winning the Future (WTF)? There will be retribution and it will be disproportionate and sudden.

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/18/2011 6:58:14 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		Oh dude....mustellids and rabbits do not play well together. Mustellids and poultry even worse. I would recommend only a supervised play date with a rabbit of any stripe.

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/18/2011 7:34:19 PM   
witpqs


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Oh dude....mustellids and rabbits do not play well together. Mustellids and poultry even worse. I would recommend only a supervised play date with a rabbit of any stripe.


Oh no, he's talking about the bobcat that took out Jerry.

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/18/2011 8:00:26 PM   
rtrapasso


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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Oh dude....mustellids and rabbits do not play well together. Mustellids and poultry even worse. I would recommend only a supervised play date with a rabbit of any stripe.


Oh no, he's talking about the bobcat that took out Jerry.

i'd bet heavily on the bobcat... Mr. Ferret might get in a couple of licks, but he isn't going to drive off a bobcat (imo)

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/18/2011 8:20:39 PM   
Chickenboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Oh dude....mustellids and rabbits do not play well together. Mustellids and poultry even worse. I would recommend only a supervised play date with a rabbit of any stripe.


Oh no, he's talking about the bobcat that took out Jerry.

OK. I totally misread that one. You're right. I had it down as a ferret v. rabbit death match. A bobcat is entirely different...

Yeah, I'd put my money on the coyote / bobcat / puma / owl / etc. that did the bunny in earlier too.

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/18/2011 8:22:05 PM   
anarchyintheuk

 

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Status: offline 		Teach him to serpentine. If it worked for Peter Falk, it can work for a ferret.

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/18/2011 9:08:28 PM   
rtrapasso


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quote:

ORIGINAL: anarchyintheuk

Teach him to serpentine. If it worked for Peter Falk, it can work for a ferret.


Mr. Ferret might survive an encounter, but as above, i really doubt he would drive off an intruding bobcat... best he could do is to survive until reinforcements (i.e., one of the Mandrake clan) arrive. Serpentine might help in the survival, and since the ferret is kinda snaky, it should come naturally to him.

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/18/2011 9:13:43 PM   
witpqs


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso


quote:

ORIGINAL: anarchyintheuk

Teach him to serpentine. If it worked for Peter Falk, it can work for a ferret.


Mr. Ferret might survive an encounter, but as above, i really doubt he would drive off an intruding bobcat... best he could do is to survive until reinforcements (i.e., one of the Mandrake clan) arrive. Serpentine might help in the survival, and since the ferret is kinda snaky, it should come naturally to him.


"Duck, this is Low Walker. Come in."

"Duck, this is Low Walker. Need Fire Mission."

"Duck, this is Low Walker. Come in. Situation Urgent."

Damn it, where is he?!




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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/18/2011 9:22:26 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Three things I learned from old war movies when I was a kid:

1) Always do the serpentine when charging a machine gun bunker. It works every time.

2) If you are out in the open at night and a flare goes up, you should yell "freeze" and then stand really still. The enemy will naturally assume a new, completely defoliated tree, with two trunks and a round top will have grown up to maturity since the last flare.

3) If you ever have to take out a tank but somebody lost the bazooka, you should jump on the tank, knock on the commander's hatch, and then drop a grenade inside when he opens it and says "Ja?"

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 4/18/2011 9:23:05 PM >

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/18/2011 9:47:02 PM   
anarchyintheuk

 

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Status: offline 		4) The young blond kid in a squad has as much chance as a redshirt in Star Trek.

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/18/2011 10:16:22 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Redshirt

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redshirt_(character)

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/18/2011 10:29:51 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
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From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		5) The following ethnic archetypes must be represented (not as the same character) in a platoon-sized unit: Italian from New York (usually brooklyn); 'Cowboy'; Surfer dude; Big 'n beefy farmer boy; nice Jewish kid (usually also from New York) and lastly-grizzled campaign veteran (usually as Gunnery sargeant).

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/18/2011 10:55:27 PM   
Mynok


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6) Blonde's are dangerous krauts. Stick with brunettes.


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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/19/2011 2:03:43 AM   
Onime No Kyo


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Status: offline 		7) The person throwing the grenade at a tank will invariably get cut down but its bow machinegun....regardless of which side of the tank he happens to be on.


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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/19/2011 3:31:24 AM   
Mynok


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8) Panzerfausts always miss.


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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/19/2011 5:23:32 AM   
perkinh


Posts: 181
Joined: 2/7/2010
From: Central, NC
Status: offline 		9) The guy pushing the plunger thing for the bridge explosion always gets shot right before he pushes the plunger

A) Plunger doesnt work

B) Single bloody hand reaches up to push with last breath

This all depends on which side you ar on of course

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One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine.... is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/19/2011 2:20:11 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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From: Southern California
Status: offline 		10) There is at least one harmonica player in every stick of paratroopers....and he is pretty good too, using vibrato at the end of long notes...but he always picks some downer tune in a minor key when something like "Oh Susana" or "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again" would help the gloomy mood.


Speaking of rallying from injury to complete one's mission, there is this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_JWywDqgRs



(in reply to Onime No Kyo)
Post #: 4458
RE: Login Nirvana - 4/19/2011 5:46:58 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		**************August 14***************

Operation Drop Kick Me Jesus (Chapter I, verse II): The USN carriers and amphibious group avoid IJN subs and arrive safely off Cooktown. Probably 2 days to Horn Is. now. The B-24 and LB-30 raid over Madang goes well, destroying quite a few Sallys on the ground. This is reassuring that they have no fighters and they aren't Bettys. Port Moresby is also hit well, destroying some Zeroes and support aircraft. There is no CAP at Port Moresby. It looks like the runway is pretty badly dinged up. I flew in some aviation support "volunteers" to Ndeni and will send in a detachment of PBY's to recon Lunga tomorrow. More Japs landed at Kriwina and it fell.

Fiji/New Scotland: Big Allied attack at Nadi today achieves 1:1 and inflicts superior casualties. Another heavy bomber raid over Noumea today encounters no CAP and sinks a Jap sub in port and damamges a few smoldering AK's. Clearly, JJ is not defending Noumea for now. The number of fighters at Tanna has been cut by 60% too. It looks like they are moving stuff back to Rabaul and/or Lunga. Ironically, Jap bombers at Rabaul are actually closer to the planned operations in Northern Oz, but don't tell Lord Admiral Sprior this because I was supposed to be making things better.

OZ: Normanton up to 4.7 airfield. Wyndham now has 20,000 WJD and 75 fighters. It looks like Derby is their only weak spot.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 4/19/2011 5:47:25 PM >

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Post #: 4459
RE: Login Nirvana - 4/22/2011 5:02:57 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
Status: offline 		*************North Coast of Tanna, August 15*****************


A beautiful grey PBY with orange pinstripes bobs in very light surf in an idyllic inlet. Two men climb a shallow hill toward another group of men.

Man in fine linen slacks: Padre, remember, don't offer your right hand in a greeting.

Father Emmanoulides: Why is that Sargeant?

Man in fine linen slacks: Please, call me Milo, Padre. I'm not in the USAAF anymore. I'm dead. Besides, we are friends, right?
Now, as to the right hand, in Tannanese culture, a right hand extended means I ate your wife.

Father Emmanoulides: Oh Dear God! <blushes>

Man in fine linen slacks: No, it's not like that Padre. It means I ate your wife's brain. They are cannibals.

Father Emmanoulides: Oh, Sweet Jesus in Heaven! I can't belive I let you talk me into this.

Man in fine linen slacks: You let me talk you into this Padre because M&M Enterprises is funding the new orphanage at Suva, a new school room, infirmatory, kitchen, you remember, Padre. Just remember extend your LEFT hand when you great them.

Father Emmanoulides: What does THAT mean?

Man in fine linen slacks: What does what mean?

Father Emmanoulides: The left hand?

Man in fine linen slacks: Oh, it just means "hello". <they approach a group of shirtless men in dungarees and homemade aviator's helmets and homemade eyeglass frames. Milo extends his left hand> Greetings Abton. This man Holy Man Emmanoulides.

Father Emmanoulides: <nearly reaches out his right hand then catches himself> Greetings from the US Army. Mr. Roosevelt sends greetings.

Abton: Who Roosevelt?

Man in fine linen slacks: Boss of Ensign McGoo.

Abton: Ah. Ensign McGoo <everyone in Tannanese group looks to sky>

2nd Cargo Cultist with much lighter pigmentation: Hory man say bressing.

Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> Milo, I think he's Japanese.

Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> He is Padre. A convert I expect.

Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> But aren't we are war with them?

Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> Not anyomre. This one works for me.

Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> You are quite an extraordinary man.

Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> Thank you Padre. I like you too. Now the bressing please.

Father Emmanoulides: Very well, let us bow our heads..

Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> No Padre. Look up. This God comes by PBY.

Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> God needs no physical conveyance.

Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> This one does.

Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> What should I ask for?

Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> Spam and pots and pans.

Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> But those are only possessions. It hardly seem Christian.

Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> Padre, it's a Cargo Cult.

Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> Oh yes. <now speaking out loud> Now, let us look to the Heavens....to the great PBY in the sky...may it bring us much Spam...and a complete set of Corningware <several of the Tannanese and converts begin to tremble>...and we beseech the, oh great PBY, please bring us Ensign McGoo.........<one of the former Shinto Boys, unaccustomed to such raw emotion, rolls his eyes back in his head and falls backward in relgious ecstasy>

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 4/22/2011 5:08:41 AM >

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/22/2011 12:38:19 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/22/2011 9:11:09 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
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From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		Yes, all hail SPAM!

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/22/2011 11:12:53 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
Status: offline 		*************North Coast of Tanna, August 15*****************


Father Emmanoulides: <now kneeling near the entusiastic celebrant who has knocked his homemade eyeglass frames askew, revealing real glasses with thick lenses. His body convulses and he is foaming about the mouth> Sargeant, please help. Good Lord, what have I done?

Man in fine linen slacks: I wouldn't worry about it Padre. It's probably part of the ceremony, but next time I wouldn't mention the Corningware. It may have sent him over the moon. You know, I may have trouble finding the stuff. Maybe that French chap in Tahiti?

Father Emmanoulides: I was trying to show respect for their beliefs. <the muscles of the shirtless man begin to relax. His breathing normalizes>

Man in fine linen slacks: There you go, Padre! <slaps him on the back> It's a miracle! <he looks around the outdoor chapel. A half dozen shirtless men dance in a circle chanting "Silas, Silas he our man". Now, let's get these boys to calm down and talk some business.........

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 4/22/2011 11:13:58 PM >

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/23/2011 1:51:23 AM   
Onime No Kyo


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Joined: 4/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*************North Coast of Tanna, August 15*****************


Father Emmanoulides: <now kneeling near the entusiastic celebrant who has knocked his homemade eyeglass frames askew, revealing real glasses with thick lenses. His body convulses and he is foaming about the mouth> Sargeant, please help. Good Lord, what have I done?

Man in fine linen slacks: I wouldn't worry about it Padre. It's probably part of the ceremony, but next time I wouldn't mention the Corningware. It may have sent him over the moon. You know, I may have trouble finding the stuff. Maybe that French chap in Tahiti?

Father Emmanoulides: I was trying to show respect for their beliefs. <the muscles of the shirtless man begin to relax. His breathing normalizes>

Man in fine linen slacks: There you go, Padre! <slaps him on the back> It's a miracle! <he looks around the outdoor chapel. A half dozen shirtless men dance in a circle chanting "Silas, Silas he our man". Now, let's get these boys to calm down and talk some business.........


Sounds like a seminar I was forced to attend once.

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4464
RE: Login Nirvana - 4/23/2011 6:04:07 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*************North Coast of Tanna, August 15*****************


Father Emmanoulides: <now kneeling near the entusiastic celebrant who has knocked his homemade eyeglass frames askew, revealing real glasses with thick lenses. His body convulses and he is foaming about the mouth> Sargeant, please help. Good Lord, what have I done?

Man in fine linen slacks: I wouldn't worry about it Padre. It's probably part of the ceremony, but next time I wouldn't mention the Corningware. It may have sent him over the moon. You know, I may have trouble finding the stuff. Maybe that French chap in Tahiti?

Father Emmanoulides: I was trying to show respect for their beliefs. <the muscles of the shirtless man begin to relax. His breathing normalizes>

Man in fine linen slacks: There you go, Padre! <slaps him on the back> It's a miracle! <he looks around the outdoor chapel. A half dozen shirtless men dance in a circle chanting "Silas, Silas he our man". Now, let's get these boys to calm down and talk some business.........


Sounds like a seminar I was forced to attend once.


Yes! Yes! I went to that too. The one in Big Sur with the drums, sweat lodge ceremony and the coffee enema bar, right?

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)
Post #: 4465
RE: Login Nirvana - 4/23/2011 6:10:04 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		There is a good one coming up in Oct 2011 with Julia Butterfly Hill.

http://webapp.esalen.org/workshops/9775


quote:

Come prepared to reflect, share, and practice playing outside of your comfort zone. Spiritual Activation principles help us uncover, unlock, and unleash our most potent, loving, and joy-filled potential in transforming ourselves and our world.


Yeah baby!

http://www.esalen.org/workshops/conferences.html

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RE: Login Nirvana - 4/23/2011 6:23:51 PM   
Mynok


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Hot springs...I remember visiting friends in Mammoth Lakes and going to one of the natural hot springs there. Several locals showed up and proceeded to strip nekkid and hop in with us.

Yall are wierd out there....


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Post #: 4467
RE: Login Nirvana - 4/24/2011 12:48:28 AM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*************North Coast of Tanna, August 15*****************


Father Emmanoulides: <now kneeling near the entusiastic celebrant who has knocked his homemade eyeglass frames askew, revealing real glasses with thick lenses. His body convulses and he is foaming about the mouth> Sargeant, please help. Good Lord, what have I done?

Man in fine linen slacks: I wouldn't worry about it Padre. It's probably part of the ceremony, but next time I wouldn't mention the Corningware. It may have sent him over the moon. You know, I may have trouble finding the stuff. Maybe that French chap in Tahiti?

Father Emmanoulides: I was trying to show respect for their beliefs. <the muscles of the shirtless man begin to relax. His breathing normalizes>

Man in fine linen slacks: There you go, Padre! <slaps him on the back> It's a miracle! <he looks around the outdoor chapel. A half dozen shirtless men dance in a circle chanting "Silas, Silas he our man". Now, let's get these boys to calm down and talk some business.........


Sounds like a seminar I was forced to attend once.


Yes! Yes! I went to that too. The one in Big Sur with the drums, sweat lodge ceremony and the coffee enema bar, right?



Must have missed the coffee enema bit.

_____________________________

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Post #: 4468
RE: Login Nirvana - 4/24/2011 12:49:33 AM   
Onime No Kyo


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Joined: 4/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mynok


Hot springs...I remember visiting friends in Mammoth Lakes and going to one of the natural hot springs there. Several locals showed up and proceeded to strip nekkid and hop in with us.

Yall are wierd out there....



Were they attractive 20 year olds of the female persuasion?

_____________________________

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Post #: 4469
RE: Login Nirvana - 4/24/2011 1:16:41 AM   
USSAmerica


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From: Graham, NC, USA
Status: offline 		Do you think he would be here complaining if they were?  

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Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

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