Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
|
***********Secluded Beach, Northern Tanna, 22:40, August 30,1942*********** 3 commando style rubber boats approached a surfaced Japanese sub. Aboard the boats are 2 dozen men, half ethnic Japanese, half ethnic Tannanese in Grey fatgues with subdued orange buttons and shoulder patches. The patches read M&M Enterprises Garrison Unit 2. A man in fine linen slacks stands up to great the senior officer aboard the sub. Man in fine linen slacks: Ito-san! How goes it baby? Japanese Officer: It good, Miro. Ito just have rash. Man in fine linen slacks: Yes, yes. I did not forget about the rash, Ito-san. Here is Captain Weiner, the finest dermatologist in all the South Pacific and I can assure you, Ito-san, he does not come cheaply. <motions to US Army officer in boat> Captain Weiner: <He stands. He is tall and thin. You can pretty much tell he wanted to be something OTHER than a dermatologist but his mother pushed him into it. I'm not sure what he wanted to be, set designer, landscape architect maybe, but definitely not a dermatologist. You can pretty much assume his mother was not happy he had to leave his lower East side practice in Manhattan to treat jungle rot in the South Pacific for $110 a month either.> Good evening Captain. Japanese Officer: Good evening Captain. <He reaches to help him aboard. Ito can tell the other officer was pretty much beat up every day at school as a child but, because of the language barrier, he misses an opportunity to ask, "Why not urology, then?"> Captain Weiner: Right, let's have a look at that rash. <The other officer rolls up his short sleeves. He is intensely tanned from the upper arm down but there are odd white spots running down the arm. The garrison unit begins disembarking> Hmmm...hypopigmented macules without scaling or redness in a sworl pattern running down the length of the arm? Have you had this since birth? Japanese Officer: Ito not know. Ito not remember when born. Captain Weiner: Right, but since you were a child then? Japanese Officer: Yes,Ito have since chirdren. Captain Weiner: How come you didn't come in sooner? Japanese Officer: Japan Navy no have skin doctor. You fix if Ito come in sooner? Captain Weiner: No, not really, we just always ask that. It makes the patient feel guilty so they don't complain at the bill. As for the rash, I'm quite sure this is hypomelanosis of Ito. Japanese Officer: Hypo...? Captain Weiner: ...melanosis.. Japanese Officer: ..mera... Captain Weiner: No, melanosis..with an "l". From the Greek. Japanese Officer: Hypo..meranosis of Ito? Captain Weiner: Close enough. Japanese Officer: Rash same name as Ito? Captain Weiner: Yes, imagine that. Japanese Officer: You see rash before. Captain Weiner: Nope, never seen it before. That's why I named it after you. Japanese Officer: It dangerous? Captain Weiner: How old are you, Captain? Japanese Officer: 46 Captain Weiner: Then I am pretty sure it is not dangerous. Here, try this cream. Japanese Officer: What in cream? Captain Weiner: Japanese flesh tone make-up. Japanese Officer: Fresh tone make-up, for womans? Ito no use womans make-up. Captain Weiner: Suit yourself. Milo, I'm afraid I am going to have to bill you for a comprehensive if this goes on much longer.......
< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 6/13/2011 2:48:14 PM >
|