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RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 3:47:51 PM   
Walloc

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs
Why is she talking to her ex?


A possible clue....

Gratz on making post number 7500!




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< Message edited by Walloc -- 5/4/2012 3:49:55 PM >

(in reply to witpqs)
Post #: 7501
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 5:32:46 PM   
khyberbill


Posts: 1941
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From: new milford, ct
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quote:

I had no idea there were so many kindred souls on the subject of dihydrogen monoxide, the dioxin of our generation.


Here is a clip from Penn and Teller to get dihydrogen monoxide banned.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi1LU45Nip0

_____________________________

"Its a dog eat dog world Sammy and I am wearing Milkbone underwear" -Norm.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7502
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 6:03:45 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
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From: Portsmouth, UK
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quote:

I now realize real life is different from the internet.


Yes, in real life all the females are mostly dressed.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7503
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 6:14:03 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

quote:

I now realize real life is different from the internet.


Yes, in real life all the females are mostly dressed.


Oh sure, I suppose you want us to believe you never had Kate Upton come over to your house and dance around in a skimpy bikini?

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 7504
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 6:34:17 PM   
sprior


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From: Portsmouth, UK
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Who said she had a bikini on?

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7505
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 9:34:13 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
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From: San Antonio, TX
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The Englishman finished a sentence with a preposition!


_____________________________


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Post #: 7506
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 9:39:48 PM   
sprior


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From: Portsmouth, UK
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Okay -

Who said she was wearing a bikini?

or

Who said she had on a bikini?

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 7507
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 9:41:48 PM   
sprior


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It's that time in her life when every girl must choose a carrer so I took the DU to the armed forces careers office:

First Question: Army, Navy or Air Force?
DU: Navy of course! (That's my girl)
Second Question: Can you swim?
DU: Don't you provide ships?

< Message edited by sprior -- 5/4/2012 9:49:58 PM >


_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 7508
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 9:44:21 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.*





* Attributed to Sir Winston...the truth which there is some doubt of

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/4/2012 9:45:42 PM >

(in reply to Walloc)
Post #: 7509
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 9:49:22 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
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From: Portsmouth, UK
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Sir Winston Rubbnot?

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7510
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 10:05:31 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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From: Southern California
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The Apache wanted 51% ownership of a new casino in Tucson and they wanted the codeword for OBL in the Seal Team 6 op changed from "Geronimo" to "Custer" in exchange for Admirar Rord Nerson. We found these demands too great so Admirar Rord Fabertong is going to do the rest of the turn after he gets back from a midnight performance of Rocky Horror Picture Show.

After a few days, we anticipate the ransom demands for the Admirar will moderate.

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 7511
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 10:05:53 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
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From: Portsmouth, UK
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Poster in Pilots' Briefing Room on Irrustrious:

Simple rules for the Fleet Air Arm



1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is,
unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can
actually watch the pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the
plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small
probability of survival and vice versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the
opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience
before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion
coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to appeal.

24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 7512
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 10:06:21 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

It's that time in her life when every girl must choose a carrer so I took the DU to the armed forces careers office:

First Question: Army, Navy or Air Force?
DU: Navy of course! (That's my girl)
Second Question: Can you swim?
DU: Don't you provide ships?


There's a stout-hearted lass. Is it bad form to outwit the recruiter?

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 7513
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 10:12:47 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
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From: Portsmouth, UK
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I think she's decided nursing is more her thing.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7514
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 10:21:44 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
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From: Portsmouth, UK
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Real Story:

Missile Compartment, HMS Resolution, somewhere at sea

MC Patrol: Chief, what's a pun?
Me (MC Supervisor): A pun is a play on words
MC Patrol: Don't all plays have words?

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 7515
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 10:30:58 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
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My cousin was a USAF nurse. I think she retired in her early-mid 40's as a Major after 20 years. Hasn't worked since. Not married either. No kids. As I recall she played kinda rough as a kid and liked pants. Not sure why I mentioned that but there you have it. I think RN's automatically get a commission.

Her dad had been a Colonel in the USAF and was at the Bravo test as an engineer. Man that guy loved to drink.

Do you think this is enough filler? Maybe Admirar Rord Fabertong is back from Rocky Horror, has his make-up off and is working on the turn?

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 7516
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 10:35:12 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
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From: San Antonio, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Sir Winston Rubbnot?

Didn't he go to St. Custard's?

_____________________________


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Post #: 7517
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 10:54:10 PM   
witpqs


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From: Argleton
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Okay -

Who said she was wearing a bikini?

or

Who said she had on a bikini?

or

She is from Bikini and wears nada.

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 7518
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 10:58:15 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Real Story:

Missile Compartment, HMS Resolution, somewhere at sea

MC Patrol: Chief, what's a pun?
Me (MC Supervisor): A pun is a play on words
MC Patrol: Don't all plays have words?


But you kept the launch key when you went to the head and such....right? You didn't let Mr. Patrol have it, did you?

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 7519
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 11:00:36 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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LYB air losses through the end of 42 (almost). Their stubborn stand is costing airframes. Seems like many more losses on the ground than necessary. The ground seems to be the only place to kill a Nick.




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RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 11:05:36 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
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Allied losses. Embarrassing number of B-17E losses on the ground. I think most of that was one disastrous naval bombardment on New Scotland.

Also note we are kicking their LYB asses 6116 to 6112




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RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/4/2012 11:30:02 PM   
BBfanboy


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From: Winnipeg, MB
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Simple rules for the Fleet Air Arm

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.


I didn't know the FAA [in WWII] had objects made of aluminum! Pilot's clipboard?? Vacuum flask of hot tea??

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 7522
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/5/2012 12:42:39 AM   
Chickenboy


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From: San Antonio, TX
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Today's "Dr. Grumpy":

Thursday afternoon

Mr. Answer: "My parents are doing great. They're both in their early 90's, and quite healthy."

Mrs. Answer: "Honey, your dad is 89, and your mother is 87."

Mr. Answer: "Yeah, early 90's."

Mrs. Answer: "No, that's late 80's."

Mr. Answer: "That would be 85."

Mrs. Answer: "You're not rounding this properly."

Mr. Answer: "Who's the retired math teacher here?"

Mrs. Answer: "I am."

Dr. Grumpy: (Sigh) "Are you allergic to any medications?"

_____________________________


(in reply to BBfanboy)
Post #: 7523
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/5/2012 1:35:48 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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I think we need to consider the possibility that Mr. Answer is related to MC Patrol.



So we we are going down to Lagunga for dinner and SG comes in some tight pants and asks, "Are these too camel toe?"


So I look where I need to look to answer the question and she says, "STOP LOOKING!"


Women...bah..

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 7524
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/5/2012 2:57:00 AM   
Moondawggie


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From: Placer County CA
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Who said she had a bikini on?

The Englishman finished a sentence with a preposition!

quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Okay -

Who said she was wearing a bikini?

or

Who said she had on a bikini?


Ah, the English: so erudite, whereas a Yank would choose to be gramatically correct and still get off a stinging verbal riposte at his heckler.

Lord Adm Spri, try this form of retort next time: "OK. Who said she had a bikini on, asshole?" Works every time...


_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 7525
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/5/2012 3:47:07 AM   
Chickenboy


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From: San Antonio, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I think we need to consider the possibility that Mr. Answer is related to MC Patrol.



So we we are going down to Lagunga for dinner and SG comes in some tight pants and asks, "Are these too camel toe?"


So I look where I need to look to answer the question and she says, "STOP LOOKING!"


Women...bah..


"Camel toe", eh? Never heard that before...

_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7526
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/5/2012 3:48:29 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie


Who said she had a bikini on?

The Englishman finished a sentence with a preposition!

quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Okay -

Who said she was wearing a bikini?

or

Who said she had on a bikini?


Ah, the English: so erudite, whereas a Yank would choose to be gramatically correct and still get off a stinging verbal riposte at his heckler.

Lord Adm Spri, try this form of retort next time: "OK. Who said she had a bikini on, asshole?" Works every time...


Yes, I was thinking of that very punchline as I typed in the post. The Texan who goes to Harvard, looking for the library, what what...

_____________________________


(in reply to Moondawggie)
Post #: 7527
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/5/2012 10:10:07 AM   
sprior


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From: Portsmouth, UK
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Devonshire in not too bad a state given the size of her erstwhile opponent:






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< Message edited by sprior -- 5/5/2012 11:21:20 AM >


_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 7528
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/5/2012 11:33:07 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline
My UK Veterans badge arrived today. I only ordered it so I could get on site parking and a private enclosure at the RAF Waddington Air Show.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 7529
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/5/2012 7:10:24 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
MC Supervisor SPrior...when do we get to know where the missiles were aimed? You can just say the first letter if you will have to kill us or if Scotland Yard will be after you. Is it an "M"?



No landing at Darwin on the 26th. Somebody thought it was a good idea to drain all the fuel out of the tanks of the BB in the amphibious group. The much feared Torres St. Bn will land at Bathurst today, God willing and the creeks don't rise.

The carriers will move into range of Kopeang for the first time. <makes Dominican good luck sign>

(in reply to Walloc)
Post #: 7530
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