Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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No...turn....yet. Old..familar twinge coming back...must call my sponsor..for support..or maybe start game against AI Nah..that's stupid. I was so desperate yesterday I went up to Venice Beach with SG and her friend. Now I remember why I never go there. Quite an odd and interesting collection of people but I just wish the place didn't stink so bad. What makes the people interesting? I think it's the novelty... not to mention the feeling of superiority that one immediately feels. Now, I know what you are thinking. What an elitist *-****! No, I promise, if you went there you would immediately have the same sensation, not the offensive olfactory sensation, which you would most certainly have, but the sense of intrinsic and unalterable superiority. Here is why you would feel that way...because you would be right. When we were done with the circus, we drove North to Santa Monica. Quite amazing. I think there may be an invisible force shield right where the Welcome to Santa Monica sign is on Main St. In a matter of 2 linear feet there is a seismic change. The street gutters are spotless. The sidewalks have been steamwashed. The street is lined with beautifully trimmed ficus trees. I think somebody actually washed all the leaves by hand or sprayed Armor All on them. The air smells like honeysuckle. In Venice there was a guy with a sign that read "Just passing thru/A buck will do/Need a beer". In Santa Monica, the homeless guys send you ads on your I-phone as you drive past. It comes with a cover letter and resume. We drove up San Vicente, then over to Sunset through Bel Aire and BH (they shoot or Taze the homeless there). The girls spotted a Hustler store in Hollywood and had to stop. <rolls eyes> They go right past the clothes section and into the part behind a partial screen. <rolls eyes again> So we are standing there laughing at this life-size plastic female torso which is anatomically correct (except for the head, arms and legs of course). The photographs on the box leave nothing uncertain as to the contents. It's $400. I was thinking, how do the mecahincs of the purchase of something like that go? Sales clerk: Would you like a bag for this, sir? Customer: No, I'll just take it like this. I don't have far to walk. A female clerk approaches. She looks at the girls and anoounces, "Good evening ladies. I am the vagina whisperer. Can I get you anything?" I guess I should have been flattered she deduced I wasn't going to buy anything but she acted as if I were invisible. In an effort to stay relevant I asked: "Yes, we were interested in this model here <the torso>, but $400 is a little steep. Do you have any used or returned that are marked down?" This got a good laugh from the girls but the clerk gave me a "**** ***, pal" look. I took my cue and went over to the coffee and danish area to read my book on Guadalcanal. A coffee and pastry bar in a Hustler store. Go figure. I read a few pages of the author beating up on Ghormley and then we drove home.
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