elxaime
Posts: 304
Joined: 11/3/2004 Status: offline
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This news demands a Hitler Downfall parody: *********************************************************** "Hitler Hears World In Flames Is About To Enter Final Beta" *********************************************************** *scene - inside the Fuhrer bunker during the Final Days* Jodl: Mein Fuhrer, we have updated your laptop and it's ready to go for multiplayer wargaming fun. *pointing to map* Hitler: What are you talking about? I specifically told you not to take it out of storage unless World in Flames was ready for release. *Jodl and Kreps exchange worried glances* Kreps: Mein Fuhrer... Jodl: Mein Fuhrer, Matrix Games just asked for playtesters for World in Flames final beta... *Hitler, hands shaking, begins to take off his glasses* Hitler: Everyone who got tired of waiting and no longer gives a **** leave the room *watches as all exit except Jodl, Burgdorf and Kreps* Hitler *screaming* What kind of trick is this? I'm not in the mood for jokes. I've got the Russians breathing down my ass... Jodl: It's true - it was just posted on the Matrix forums Hitler *screaming louder* On the forums!? And you believe them!? How many threads are there on that forum saying WIF is almost done? You can't tell me because you can't count that high! I believed Goering when he told me he could make Churchill surrender with just with the Luftwaffe! I believed Himmler when he told me the Americans were a bunch of pussies who wouldn't fight! I believed Balmer when he told me Windows 8 would be better than Windows 7! I am sick and tired of being lied to! *sounds of sobbing from the corridors outside* Kreps: Mein Fuhrer - this time the opening post says they are approaching the finish line... Hitler *screaming louder than ever* The finish line! I'll give you the Finnish line - it was right outside Leningrad! They wouldn't move it a meter south! The Russians didn't even bother to fortify that side of town! Finish line! The General Staff are idiots to fall for that one! I should have liquidated you all like Stalin did! Burgdorf: Mein Fuhrer, I must protest! Hitler *screaming loudest of all* Cowards and Traitors! You have all been sitting around getting soft playing crap like World at War and Strategic Command! Don't you realize what this is? It's World In Flames! The crown jewel, the white whale, the ultimate World War two strategy game! Australians invented it! Australians! When is the last time they did anything worthwhile? I've been waiting and waiting and waiting. I haven't given up because I know I'll never play anything as awesome! Did you know I set aside an entire room in Vienna to keep the original boardgame set up for over a year! A year! I was a freak'in house painter and I had to live in that same room! I can still see that accursed cat leaping onto the table... *Hitler, spent, collapses back into his chair* *Kreps and Burgdorf exchange worried glances* Hitler *in an exhausted whisper* Finish line...can it really be true? It has to be. I can't take it anymore. There is nothing left. I swear if this is another B.S. posting, I'll shoot myself. ***
< Message edited by elxaime -- 4/12/2013 2:40:28 PM >
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