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RE: Beat This--OT - 4/20/2013 4:33:53 AM   
LST Express


Posts: 571
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		My wife has been putting up with my bad habits for 35 years and that pretty much trumps most everything I've read here.

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Post #: 31
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/20/2013 4:42:48 AM   
erstad

 

Posts: 1944
Joined: 8/3/2004
From: Midwest USA
Status: offline 		Since I am not a morning person, my wife gets up and makes coffee for my thermos every morning. She even pre-treats the thermos with boiling water so it stays hot all day.

And she is not a coffee drinker herself.


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Post #: 32
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/21/2013 9:33:50 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		These are some amazing heartwarming stories of togetherness and pehaps even love but nobody has mentioned...well...you know.

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Post #: 33
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/21/2013 10:44:45 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

These are some amazing heartwarming stories of togetherness and pehaps even love but nobody has mentioned...well...you know.

You're right. Lead the way, Cap'n.

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Post #: 34
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/22/2013 12:30:37 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		Mandrake doesn't have the dicotyledons to do that, so I guess I'll have to start. Mine gives me the best stimulation any gorn has ever had, but I have to keep the bicycle pump handy, or things get rather flaccid.

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Post #: 35
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/22/2013 2:44:44 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

Mandrake doesn't have the dicotyledons to do that, so I guess I'll have to start. Mine gives me the best stimulation any gorn has ever had, but I have to keep the bicycle pump handy, or things get rather flaccid.

Isn't that just a function of being 437 in Gorn years?

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Post #: 36
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/22/2013 2:46:51 AM   
nashvillen


Posts: 3836
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Christiana, TN
Status: offline 		So, I guess he uses a little green pill instead?

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Post #: 37
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/22/2013 3:07:41 AM   
mussey


Posts: 683
Joined: 12/2/2006
From: Cleve-Land
Status: offline 		Mussbu babette still begs DVD re-runs of Ken Burn's 'Civil War' or PBS's 'Liberty", gets a kick out of Joseph Plumb Martin. Of course, I cannot turn her down...

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Post #: 38
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/22/2013 4:15:53 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

Mandrake doesn't have the dicotyledons to do that, so I guess I'll have to start. Mine gives me the best stimulation any gorn has ever had, but I have to keep the bicycle pump handy, or things get rather flaccid.

Isn't that just a function of being 437 in Gorn years?


I should warn you that regardless of how many gorn years we have under our belts, we are all very sensitive and naive when it comes to subjects such as I believe you are referring to. What ever the case, I am sure I would refuse the advances of one such as yourself. Do not test me (oh, do) as I might react in ways you might expect.

I am sure I haven't instructed each of you in the science of gorn procreation. While we would all like to have another gorn to accomplish the "dirty deed" with, this is not always possible. To your horror, I must advise you that every one of us gorns are hermaphroditic. We are capable of spawning huge numbers of little gorns, all on our lonesome. I'm pretty sure I didn't tell you that our male appendices are located on the tip of our left thumbs (except in my case, I am right (pawed, clawed, handed; oh whatever). Now being hermaphroditic, we are not required to be mated with another gorn, we merely stick our thumbs up (Oh, at this point I'm going to have to censor this) our ... I know, lots of you have very funny jokes about me; I can't wait to hear them. However, I can imagine a lot of worse things to have up my kazoo than my own thumb. Go figure it out.

< Message edited by geofflambert -- 4/22/2013 4:19:53 AM >

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Post #: 39
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/22/2013 4:32:41 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		I'd always wished that my male 'appendices' were on the tip of my finger, whilest potential female mates had theirs on their shoulders. That way, when I tapped someone on the shoulder and said "hey lady", they would be none the wiser at providing me intimate pleasure.

You gorn are well on the way to a state of enlightened being. Or cheap jollies. Or both.

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Post #: 40
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/22/2013 6:28:41 PM   
Kwik E Mart


Posts: 2447
Joined: 7/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

These are some amazing heartwarming stories of togetherness and pehaps even love but nobody has mentioned...well...you know.


...but cap, then most of us would be talking about mistresses and not wives, right?

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Ron Swanson: Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 41
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/22/2013 7:23:13 PM   
Lecivius


Posts: 4845
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: Denver
Status: offline 		Aye. Wives and "...well...you know. " are mutually exclusive. Sorta like oil & water, mentos & coke, war & peace, Sonny & Cher...

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Post #: 42
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/22/2013 8:09:45 PM   
Sardaukar


Posts: 9847
Joined: 11/28/2001
From: Finland/Israel
Status: offline 		Mine does not mind me playing wargames, likes same TV programs/movies (apart from war stuff), is ex-EOD NCO (might blow me one day..and not in good way, if I anger her) and said to me:

"Why don't you go back to university to study, since I have a good job?"

Beat that!

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"To meaningless French Idealism, Liberty, Fraternity and Equality...we answer with German Realism, Infantry, Cavalry and Artillery" -Prince von Bülov, 1870-


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Post #: 43
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/22/2013 8:14:28 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		Alright, I'll try Sardaukar, et. al.,

Wife is about to land a nice sweet and fat contract with a national company for her work. It would represent about a 60% pay increase for her and make my working optional. She's been offering (not jokingly) to hire me on as her 'pool boy' and have us move to Texas so's we can be warm.

On days like today (another 6-9" of the white stuff blowing through), it's pretty tempting. I'm thinking of getting it in writing before agreeing, but that would more than likely queer the deal.

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Post #: 44
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/22/2013 8:36:20 PM   
SqzMyLemon


Posts: 4239
Joined: 10/30/2009
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

These are some amazing heartwarming stories of togetherness and pehaps even love but nobody has mentioned...well...you know.


It's like a desert here. Why do you think I have so much time to play? Seeing a penetrating hit recorded during a replay is as close as I come to excitement these days. The other day I tried to be a little amorous and she said to me "Don't you have a turn or something?"

< Message edited by SqzMyLemon -- 4/22/2013 8:40:25 PM >

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Post #: 45
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/22/2013 8:40:22 PM   
Sardaukar


Posts: 9847
Joined: 11/28/2001
From: Finland/Israel
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Alright, I'll try Sardaukar, et. al.,

Wife is about to land a nice sweet and fat contract with a national company for her work. It would represent about a 60% pay increase for her and make my working optional. She's been offering (not jokingly) to hire me on as her 'pool boy' and have us move to Texas so's we can be warm.

On days like today (another 6-9" of the white stuff blowing through), it's pretty tempting. I'm thinking of getting it in writing before agreeing, but that would more than likely queer the deal.


Not bad at all! :D

As a Finn..I must admit I have not missed the snow for last 6 years...


_____________________________

"To meaningless French Idealism, Liberty, Fraternity and Equality...we answer with German Realism, Infantry, Cavalry and Artillery" -Prince von Bülov, 1870-


(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 46
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/23/2013 4:17:46 AM   
SargeantTex


Posts: 420
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		Mine hates WITP and Military stuff and the stacks of notebinders full of WITP list and such and the walls covered in military art,but I keep her in all the latest gadgets such as Iphones,laptops and kindlefires so she stays preoccupied and when she does get pissy about not being with her. I go into mandingo mode after 3 or 4 consummating sessions in one day she figures its best to leave me alone for a few weeks!!

(in reply to Sardaukar)
Post #: 47
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/23/2013 4:48:53 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		Sergeant Tex unchained! Hide your womenfolk!

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Post #: 48
RE: Beat This--OT - 4/23/2013 9:33:05 PM   
Mark VII


Posts: 1838
Joined: 8/11/2003
From: Brentwood,TN
Status: offline 		Mine, Kim, let me take her first on a 5 day tour of the Normandy Battlefields and beaches plus a 2 day drive down the Market-Garden corridor. Before we left for Europe we watched The Longest Day and A Bridge to Far. She paid attention and wanted to match scenes in the movies to where we were, "is this where Robert Redford crossed the river?" "This must be where Red Buttons was hanging off the church." We also spend a week touring "her things" in England.

But you know that your wife really loves you when she travels with you to Guadalcanal. Kim's number one concern is NOT being hot! Yet during our trip to Austalia, she allowed a four day side trip to the canal (its only three hours from Brisbane) where every day is 90+ and high humidity. As I toured the countryside she stayed at the hotel and the straining a/c. Thats a trooper!


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Post #: 49
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