Bullwinkle58
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PaxMondo
quote:
ORIGINAL: Bullwinkle58
quote:
ORIGINAL: PaxMondo
Sometimes people mistake me for a nice guy. I'm not.
I was executor of Dad's estate, and he wanted each of us siblings and his current wife to share equally. His wife was not a US citizen at the time and they were not living in the US at the time.
Nice guy I am not; ethical and loyal I am. My Dad wanted it, and that is what he got. To the point that even though she was not in his will (intentionally), I had each sibling write a check after probate to the widow so that in the end everyone got exactly an even share. Fair.
The not nice guy part comes in with a couple of recalcitrant siblings. They did pay. Grudgingly, but they did pay. The good thing is that my siblings really do know I am not a nice guy and even they don't want to be on my bad side. 
I would also add that my Dad named me executor because he knew all this beforehand.
My point being that people don't always choose executors for the right reason. You don't want a Labrador for your executor, you want the Doberman. Simple. Direct. Loyal. Follows commands. 
I'm not sure I follow your post. Perhaps you mis-worded something. By using "current wife" and "widow" it makes me think there were two, and the widow was the first wife?
Regardless, if you were the executor you needed to execute the will as written and the probate court should have overseen that. If you used your office to exert leverage on sibs to do something intentionally not there in the will you were executing any of your sibs would have had a cause of action against you in probate court. IMO of course. I am not a lawyer.
We have just gone through a detailed round of estate planning here in Frostbite Falls. If done properly by a qualified estate attorney there is no need to face probate. Trust structures exist to avoid it and are not "only for rich people" any more. And the dangers of powers of attorney are well illustrated by this case and thousands of others. There is rarely a good reason to use one in elder care, certainly one with unlimited authority. In elder care situations court supervised guardianships and conservatorships are options. A family member can still fill the role, but they know the henhouse is being watched by Farmer Jones and not the fox.
current wife = widow. I used the different names to indicate the time in which actions took place. Everything in the will was done per the will, exactly as written. Everything else was done afterwards. Nothing within probate.
Sure, if you can find a lawyer that you trust, they can make good executors. A monkey can be trained to probate a will. Trivial. Unfortunately, like real estate agents and everything else, the profession is riddled with scoundrels and thieves. They delay settlement, charge processing fees, yaddi yaddi yaddi. Down here in the desert, you see little news snippets every month of an estate attorney convicted for defrauding 1500 families of their estates. Its so easy for them, and it takes so long to catch them and then prove anything. Think about it, 2 extra hours of billable time at $500/hour * 1000 familes = $1,000,000 ... enough said.
Maybe everyone up in Frostbite Falls are upstanding and honest. Upper MidWest is weird that way. Rest of the world is populated by greedy people.
Me? Simple. The only thing I will leave will be advice. I intend to have consumed all of the Laphroaig in my cabinet before I'm gone.
Ok. I was and still am a little confused by what you said: he wanted the widow to share, but she wasn't in the will. That seems to be on him to fix, not you. But I will withdraw further comment as it's a matter where I have no facts.
I would never have a lawyer as an executor (up here, and in all Uniform Probate Code states--23 I think now?--they're called "personal representative", not executor/executrix), but many probates do need legal advice. Similarly, I would never have a lawyer as a trustee, but setting up a trust structure without one is a really dumb move. In most cases a family member can safely be a trustee so long as safeguards are built into the trust.
Probate courts are busy and the paperwork is immense. But they do exist to referee difficult family situations. It's a fascinating area of law. I don't know that the Upper Midwest is more ethical than anywhere else, but families up here tend to be huge, and family is very, very important in a region without as much in- and out-migration as the Sun Belt, for example. The fights over both family farms and family lake cabins can be epic.
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