A Slow Descent into Madness

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A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/2/2013 7:33:59 PM

Empire101

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/20/2008
From: Coruscant
Status: offline

After several failed attempts to download from the site ( yes I even tried the DAP ), I managed to get the ZIP file downloaded after 12hrs of hogging the internet yesterday/last night.

After a long and tiring day at work, I could'nt wait to get home and UNZIP!!

Unfortunately, I was presented with this:-

So after running around shrieking, biting the carpet and frightening my wife, I think to save what vestiges of my sanity remain, I'm just going to wait for the disks.

_____________________________

Our lives may be more boring than those who lived in apocalyptic times,
but being bored is greatly preferable to being prematurely dead because of some ideological fantasy. - Michael Burleigh

Post #: 1

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/2/2013 8:39:06 PM

Toby42

Posts: 1626
Joined: 8/10/2003
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

Wow! Where are you located? It took me about 20 minutes....

_____________________________

Tony

(in reply to Empire101)

Post #: 2

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/3/2013 4:26:25 PM

roeddog

Posts: 132
Joined: 9/13/2006
From: South Carolina
Status: offline

What'd you expect Coruscant is far, far away from earth

Are you on dialup?

_____________________________

(in reply to Empire101)

Post #: 3

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/3/2013 4:54:42 PM

76mm

Posts: 4688
Joined: 5/2/2004
From: Washington, DC
Status: offline

I'm sure the DVD is winging its way to you right now...

(in reply to roeddog)

Post #: 4

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/3/2013 6:55:37 PM

Empire101

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/20/2008
From: Coruscant
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: roeddog

What'd you expect Coruscant is far, far away from earth
Are you on dialup?

I'm in England, but although I have Sky Broadband, I have'nt been able to get above 49 to 95kb/s, and its usually around 60 to 70 kb/s .

quote:

ORIGINAL: Treale
Wow! Where are you located? It took me about 20 minutes....

The advantages of living in an advanced technological country still have'nt reached our shores unfortunately.

My 'Dr Fortesque's Combined Imperial Steam Driven WiFi & Gentlemans Moustache Trimming Router' is obviously not upto the job anymore, Treale.
I shall have to trade it in for a more exotic design!!

Here you can see my current WiFi setup, which on reflection, may be a bit out of date now.

quote:

ORIGINAL: 76mm
I'm sure the DVD is winging its way to you right now...

Indeed it is sir!! Just had my order confirmation that it is winging its way from the furthest reaches of the Colonies.....ahem!!.....slight slip of the tongue there.....I mean from the USA!!

_____________________________

Our lives may be more boring than those who lived in apocalyptic times,
but being bored is greatly preferable to being prematurely dead because of some ideological fantasy. - Michael Burleigh

(in reply to roeddog)

Post #: 5

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/3/2013 9:05:07 PM

Missouri_Rebel

Posts: 3065
Joined: 6/19/2006
From: Southern Missouri
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

quote:

ORIGINAL: roeddog

What'd you expect Coruscant is far, far away from earth
Are you on dialup?

I'm in England, but although I have Sky Broadband, I have'nt been able to get above 49 to 95kb/s, and its usually around 60 to 70 kb/s .

quote:

ORIGINAL: Treale
Wow! Where are you located? It took me about 20 minutes....

The advantages of living in an advanced technological country still have'nt reached our shores unfortunately.

My 'Dr Fortesque's Combined Imperial Steam Driven WiFi & Gentlemans Moustache Trimming Router' is obviously not upto the job anymore, Treale.
I shall have to trade it in for a more exotic design!!

Here you can see my current WiFi setup, which on reflection, may be a bit out of date now.

quote:

ORIGINAL: 76mm
I'm sure the DVD is winging its way to you right now...

Indeed it is sir!! Just had my order confirmation that it is winging its way from the furthest reaches of the Colonies.....ahem!!.....slight slip of the tongue there.....I mean from the USA!!

Hehe. I like this guy.

_____________________________

**Those who rob Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul
**A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have-Gerald Ford

(in reply to Empire101)

Post #: 6

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/3/2013 9:35:39 PM

Dabrion

Posts: 733
Joined: 11/5/2013
From: Northpole
Status: offline

Thats one hell of a cable for a wireless!

(in reply to Missouri_Rebel)

Post #: 7

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/3/2013 9:46:30 PM

warspite1

Posts: 41353
Joined: 2/2/2008
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

My 'Dr Fortesque's Combined Imperial Steam Driven WiFi & Gentlemans Moustache Trimming Router' is obviously not upto the job anymore, Treale.
I shall have to trade it in for a more exotic design!!

warspite1

To be fair old chap, Dr Fortesque's finest has never let me down, and I have installed the same model as you here in warspite towers. I think where you are going wrong is that you are not employing enough peasants to work the machine to its optimal capability.

Handy Hint: double the workforce and don't be too shy with the old cat o'nine tails. Sensible policies for a happier Britain eh what?

_____________________________

England expects that every man will do his duty. Horatio Nelson October 1805

(in reply to Empire101)

Post #: 8

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/4/2013 1:14:06 PM

Zorachus99

Posts: 1066
Joined: 9/15/2000
From: Palo Alto, CA
Status: offline

From what I understand regarding 'the Madness of King George', I believe that when you cease peeing blue, you should back to your senses.

In the meantime, would you like to be strapped down to a chair?

_____________________________

Most men can survive adversity, the true test of a man's character is power. -Abraham Lincoln

(in reply to warspite1)

Post #: 9

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/6/2013 8:49:59 PM

warspite1

Posts: 41353
Joined: 2/2/2008
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorachus99

From what I understand regarding 'the Madness of King George', I believe that when you cease peeing blue, you should back to your senses.

In the meantime, would you like to be strapped down to a chair?

warspite1

Mmmmm...my pee is purple. Is there anything I should be worried about here, what?

_____________________________

England expects that every man will do his duty. Horatio Nelson October 1805

(in reply to Zorachus99)

Post #: 10

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 9:00:52 AM

Empire101

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/20/2008
From: Coruscant
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: warspite1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

My 'Dr Fortesque's Combined Imperial Steam Driven WiFi & Gentlemans Moustache Trimming Router' is obviously not upto the job anymore, Treale.
I shall have to trade it in for a more exotic design!!

warspite1

To be fair old chap, Dr Fortesque's finest has never let me down, and I have installed the same model as you here in warspite towers. I think where you are going wrong is that you are not employing enough peasants to work the machine to its optimal capability.

Handy Hint: double the workforce and don't be too shy with the old cat o'nine tails. Sensible policies for a happier Britain eh what?

Indeed sir!!

I have instructed my slaves....ahem....workforce, to redouble their efforts for half the rations, but still no joy. Hopefully the Disks will be here at Empire House soon.

_____________________________

Our lives may be more boring than those who lived in apocalyptic times,
but being bored is greatly preferable to being prematurely dead because of some ideological fantasy. - Michael Burleigh

(in reply to warspite1)

Post #: 11

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 10:02:18 AM

warspite1

Posts: 41353
Joined: 2/2/2008
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

quote:

ORIGINAL: warspite1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

My 'Dr Fortesque's Combined Imperial Steam Driven WiFi & Gentlemans Moustache Trimming Router' is obviously not upto the job anymore, Treale.
I shall have to trade it in for a more exotic design!!

warspite1

To be fair old chap, Dr Fortesque's finest has never let me down, and I have installed the same model as you here in warspite towers. I think where you are going wrong is that you are not employing enough peasants to work the machine to its optimal capability.

Handy Hint: double the workforce and don't be too shy with the old cat o'nine tails. Sensible policies for a happier Britain eh what?

Indeed sir!!

I have instructed my slaves....ahem....workforce, to redouble their efforts for half the rations, but still no joy. Hopefully the Disks will be here at Empire House soon.

warspite1

Empire old chap, have you tried shooting the little blighters, what?

_____________________________

England expects that every man will do his duty. Horatio Nelson October 1805

(in reply to Empire101)

Post #: 12

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 10:15:13 AM

Orm

Posts: 22154
Joined: 5/3/2008
From: Sweden
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

After several failed attempts to download from the site ( yes I even tried the DAP ), I managed to get the ZIP file downloaded after 12hrs of hogging the internet yesterday/last night.

After a long and tiring day at work, I could'nt wait to get home and UNZIP!!

Unfortunately, I was presented with this:-

So after running around shrieking, biting the carpet and frightening my wife, I think to save what vestiges of my sanity remain, I'm just going to wait for the disks.

I feel your pain but the important question here is what castle is it that is shown on your screen?

_____________________________

Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often students, for heaven's sake. - Terry Pratchett

(in reply to Empire101)

Post #: 13

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 10:35:42 AM

Empire101

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/20/2008
From: Coruscant
Status: offline

Hi Orm!! Long time no see

The castle in the picture is my current residence overlooking my feudal estates, and one that was'nt ravaged in the long standing medieval dispute between Warspite and myself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Warspite

Empire old chap, have you tried shooting the little blighters, what?

Funny you should mention that old chap, had to shoot three child workers before breakfast, 'pour encourager les autres', so to speak.

A nice picture of one of my foreman sorting out a labour dispute near one of my castles.
( If you look closely you can see myself and Warspite in the Imperial Box.)

_____________________________

Our lives may be more boring than those who lived in apocalyptic times,
but being bored is greatly preferable to being prematurely dead because of some ideological fantasy. - Michael Burleigh

(in reply to Orm)

Post #: 14

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 10:53:37 AM

warspite1

Posts: 41353
Joined: 2/2/2008
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

A nice picture of one of my foreman sorting out a labour dispute near one of my castles.
( If you look closely you can see myself and Warspite in the Imperial Box.)

warspite1

Oh what fun we had that day - such larks! I thought your foreman most efficient.

quote:

Funny you should mention that old chap, had to shoot three child workers before breakfast, 'pour encourager les autres', so to speak.

An attitude that does you credit Empire, an attitude that does you credit - but why are you speaking funny? are you ill?

< Message edited by warspite1 -- 12/7/2013 11:55:05 AM >

_____________________________

England expects that every man will do his duty. Horatio Nelson October 1805

(in reply to Empire101)

Post #: 15

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 10:59:10 AM

Orm

Posts: 22154
Joined: 5/3/2008
From: Sweden
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

Hi Orm!! Long time no see

The castle in the picture is my current residence overlooking my feudal estates, and one that was'nt ravaged in the long standing medieval dispute between Warspite and myself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Warspite

Empire old chap, have you tried shooting the little blighters, what?

Funny you should mention that old chap, had to shoot three child workers before breakfast, 'pour encourager les autres', so to speak.

A nice picture of one of my foreman sorting out a labour dispute near one of my castles.
( If you look closely you can see myself and Warspite in the Imperial Box.)

We, in the barbaric north, do not have a firm grasp of the feudal ongoing in The Empire so where is this castle located? We need to know these things if We are to send our envoys to convey Our respect towards The Empire.

_____________________________

Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often students, for heaven's sake. - Terry Pratchett

(in reply to Empire101)

Post #: 16

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 11:30:23 AM

Empire101

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/20/2008
From: Coruscant
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: warspite1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

A nice picture of one of my foreman sorting out a labour dispute near one of my castles.
( If you look closely you can see myself and Warspite in the Imperial Box.)

warspite1

Oh what fun we had that day - such larks! I thought your foreman most efficient.

quote:

Funny you should mention that old chap, had to shoot three child workers before breakfast, 'pour encourager les autres', so to speak.

An attitude that does you credit Empire, an attitude that does you credit - but why are you speaking funny? are you ill?

In our household ( as in yours I would expect ), we still speak Norman French for official purposes, but over the years we have taken up speaking English for everyday purposes.

A rare picture of Orm's, Warspite's and my own ancestors, sorting out the natives at the Battle of Hastings.

_____________________________

Our lives may be more boring than those who lived in apocalyptic times,
but being bored is greatly preferable to being prematurely dead because of some ideological fantasy. - Michael Burleigh

(in reply to warspite1)

Post #: 17

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 11:30:32 AM

Centuur

Posts: 8802
Joined: 6/3/2011
From: Hoorn (NED).
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Orm

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

Hi Orm!! Long time no see

The castle in the picture is my current residence overlooking my feudal estates, and one that was'nt ravaged in the long standing medieval dispute between Warspite and myself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Warspite

Empire old chap, have you tried shooting the little blighters, what?

Funny you should mention that old chap, had to shoot three child workers before breakfast, 'pour encourager les autres', so to speak.

A nice picture of one of my foreman sorting out a labour dispute near one of my castles.
( If you look closely you can see myself and Warspite in the Imperial Box.)

We, in the barbaric north, do not have a firm grasp of the feudal ongoing in The Empire so where is this castle located? We need to know these things if We are to send our envoys to convey Our respect towards The Empire.

Such a rich country if it can build these kind of castles... I want to send an envoy to see if we can do some good trade...

_____________________________

Peter

(in reply to Orm)

Post #: 18

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 11:33:57 AM

Empire101

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/20/2008
From: Coruscant
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Centuur

quote:

ORIGINAL: Orm

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

Hi Orm!! Long time no see

The castle in the picture is my current residence overlooking my feudal estates, and one that was'nt ravaged in the long standing medieval dispute between Warspite and myself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Warspite

Empire old chap, have you tried shooting the little blighters, what?

Funny you should mention that old chap, had to shoot three child workers before breakfast, 'pour encourager les autres', so to speak.

A nice picture of one of my foreman sorting out a labour dispute near one of my castles.
( If you look closely you can see myself and Warspite in the Imperial Box.)

We, in the barbaric north, do not have a firm grasp of the feudal ongoing in The Empire so where is this castle located? We need to know these things if We are to send our envoys to convey Our respect towards The Empire.

Such a rich country if it can build these kind of castles... I want to send an envoy to see if we can do some good trade...

The castle in question is Coruscant Castle, near Great Wyrley. Centuur's and Orm's envoys are more than welcome to visit anytime.

_____________________________

Our lives may be more boring than those who lived in apocalyptic times,
but being bored is greatly preferable to being prematurely dead because of some ideological fantasy. - Michael Burleigh

(in reply to Centuur)

Post #: 19

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 12:13:05 PM

Toby42

Posts: 1626
Joined: 8/10/2003
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

Geez! Where's Monty Python when you need him?

_____________________________

Tony

(in reply to Empire101)

Post #: 20

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 12:29:11 PM

warspite1

Posts: 41353
Joined: 2/2/2008
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

quote:

ORIGINAL: warspite1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

A nice picture of one of my foreman sorting out a labour dispute near one of my castles.
( If you look closely you can see myself and Warspite in the Imperial Box.)

warspite1

Oh what fun we had that day - such larks! I thought your foreman most efficient.

quote:

Funny you should mention that old chap, had to shoot three child workers before breakfast, 'pour encourager les autres', so to speak.

An attitude that does you credit Empire, an attitude that does you credit - but why are you speaking funny? are you ill?

In our household ( as in yours I would expect ), we still speak Norman French for official purposes, but over the years we have taken up speaking English for everyday purposes.

A rare picture of Orm's, Warspite's and my own ancestors, sorting out the natives at the Battle of Hastings.

warspite1

Ah Hastings, where the Empire / Warspite feud began all those years ago. My Ancestors fighting with Harold, yours with that blaggard William. Harold had already seen off Orm's ancestors at Stamford Bridge, but Hastings? well that, alas, was a bridge too far... or was that Arnhem? any whatever...Harold and old warspite lost and dear old England was never quite the same again...

Still, that's in the past - all forgotten now, and no longer enemies, isn't that right Empire you froggy �$%^&*$?

_____________________________

England expects that every man will do his duty. Horatio Nelson October 1805

(in reply to Empire101)

Post #: 21

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 5:48:08 PM

Zorachus99

Posts: 1066
Joined: 9/15/2000
From: Palo Alto, CA
Status: offline

So has the descent into madness made it to periscope level yet?

_____________________________

Most men can survive adversity, the true test of a man's character is power. -Abraham Lincoln

(in reply to warspite1)

Post #: 22

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 5:51:49 PM

Empire101

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/20/2008
From: Coruscant
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorachus99

So has the descent into madness made it to periscope level yet?

( in an outrageous German accent )
Not quite mein Kapitan, ve are stalking zee Varspite as we spracken......

_____________________________

Our lives may be more boring than those who lived in apocalyptic times,
but being bored is greatly preferable to being prematurely dead because of some ideological fantasy. - Michael Burleigh

(in reply to Zorachus99)

Post #: 23

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 6:28:00 PM

Empire101

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/20/2008
From: Coruscant
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Warspite

Ah Hastings, where the Empire / Warspite feud began all those years ago. My Ancestors fighting with Harold, yours with that blaggard William. Harold had already seen off Orm's ancestors at Stamford Bridge, but Hastings? well that, alas, was a bridge too far... or was that Arnhem? any whatever...Harold and old warspite lost and dear old England was never quite the same again...

Still, that's in the past - all forgotten now, and no longer enemies, isn't that right Empire you froggy �$%^&*$?

Yes, those were the days, lots of ravishing of Warspites women, pillage, plunder, murder and soiled armour....the Good Old Days as my father Sir General Hogmanny Melchett used to say.

In the library I found an old Manuscript dated 1066 and after careful translation I have put together what actually happened....

......'and so Harold and his faithful man-servant Jester de Warspite, together with his Army marched North to Stamford Bridge.
There a grate Battyle was fought, and Harold won a great victory after Orm Longhorn charged the Viking Army down the hill and straight over a cliff into the North Sea ( Ed: Longhorn was very short sighted ).

But no sooner was the victory won than news reached Harold that William had landed at Hastings, together with his greatest warriors, including Richard de Alencon Empiricus, a tall and noble warrior.

The two Armies clashed on the roundabout in the village of Battle, and the fight went on all day. It is said that Norman Knights broke through and Jester de Warspite took aim with his trusty bow at the closest, Richard Empiricus, but just has he loosed the arrow, Harold turned round and walked in front of him enquiring about a cup of tea....'

The rest as they say, is History......

A nice picture showing the exact moment when my ancestor broke through, and when Jester de Warspite changed the course of English history

_____________________________

Our lives may be more boring than those who lived in apocalyptic times,
but being bored is greatly preferable to being prematurely dead because of some ideological fantasy. - Michael Burleigh

(in reply to Empire101)

Post #: 24

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 6:43:52 PM

warspite1

Posts: 41353
Joined: 2/2/2008
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

quote:

ORIGINAL: Warspite

Ah Hastings, where the Empire / Warspite feud began all those years ago. My Ancestors fighting with Harold, yours with that blaggard William. Harold had already seen off Orm's ancestors at Stamford Bridge, but Hastings? well that, alas, was a bridge too far... or was that Arnhem? any whatever...Harold and old warspite lost and dear old England was never quite the same again...

Still, that's in the past - all forgotten now, and no longer enemies, isn't that right Empire you froggy �$%^&*$?

Yes, those were the days, lots of ravishing of Warspites women, pillage, plunder, murder and soiled armour....the Good Old Days as my father Sir General Hogmanny Melchett used to say.

In the library I found an old Manuscript dated 1066 and after careful translation I have put together what actually happened....

......'and so Harold and his faithful man-servant Jester de Warspite, together with his Army marched North to Stamford Bridge.
There a grate Battyle was fought, and Harold won a great victory after Orm Longhorn charged the Viking Army down the hill and straight over a cliff into the North Sea ( Ed: Longhorn was very short sighted ).

But no sooner was the victory won than news reached Harold that William had landed at Hastings, together with his greatest warriors, including Richard de Alencon Empiricus, a tall and noble warrior.

The two Armies clashed on the roundabout in the village of Battle, and the fight went on all day. It is said that Norman Knights broke through and Jester de Warspite took aim with his trusty bow at the closest, Richard Empiricus, but just has he loosed the arrow, Harold turned round and walked in front of him enquiring about a cup of tea....'

The rest as they say, is History......

A nice picture showing the exact moment when my ancestor broke through, and when Jester de Warspite changed the course of English history

warspite1

_____________________________

England expects that every man will do his duty. Horatio Nelson October 1805

(in reply to Empire101)

Post #: 25

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 7:09:46 PM

warspite1

Posts: 41353
Joined: 2/2/2008
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorachus99

So has the descent into madness made it to periscope level yet?

( in an outrageous German accent )
Not quite mein Kapitan, ve are stalking a battleschiff as we spracken...hold on - vat ist das im himmel. Mein gott die schiff ve are following - it's ze varspite - und she has launched a swordfisch.

U-64 was never heard from again.

As the hapless u-boat sank beneath the icy waves, Lord of the Fleet, Baron warspite, on the bridge of the Grand Old Lady, spat out with venom - "I say - tophole, great shooting from those FAA boys, what?"

The Admiral relaxed back in his chair, and allowed a wry smile to leak out from the finely-honed, chiselled features of his rugged, manly face. He turned to the midshipman on watch - Mr Empire - an effete, bumbling man who had no place in the Royal Navy - but was over promoted thanks to his "connections".

"I say Empire, fetch me a cup of tea...." the officer suddenly cut himself short, an insane thought occurred to him - "No!.... on second thoughts..... make it a mug"

[Cue astonished gasps from all on the bridge]

warspite1

Allow me to fix that for you old chap...

< Message edited by warspite1 -- 12/7/2013 8:11:14 PM >

_____________________________

England expects that every man will do his duty. Horatio Nelson October 1805

(in reply to Empire101)

Post #: 26

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/7/2013 8:21:00 PM

Zorachus99

Posts: 1066
Joined: 9/15/2000
From: Palo Alto, CA
Status: offline

The motivations of Empire101's Avatar is becoming clear, and the home port aint Tokyo, I'd guess closer to Stamford Bridge.

Meanwhile...

The captain of the USS Zorachus peers across battered waves, wind shrieking in his ears. "Ask the lookout to clear the periscope, I'll be below checking if it's clean. A hop and a slide down the ladder had him in the command room moments later, dripping water on the floor. Looking through the periscope at the eyeball above, he said, "Close that hatch and flood the ballast it's time for someone to practice swimming!".
The men looked around and laughed, all glad they weren't the one on deck.
"Who is that?", one guy whispered.
"Just don't mention the name of the forbidden ship, ok?", came a voice from the darkness.

_____________________________

Most men can survive adversity, the true test of a man's character is power. -Abraham Lincoln

(in reply to warspite1)

Post #: 27

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/8/2013 10:07:30 AM

ess1

Posts: 238
Joined: 9/13/2004
From: Newport, Shropshire, U.K.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: warspite1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

quote:

ORIGINAL: warspite1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

My 'Dr Fortesque's Combined Imperial Steam Driven WiFi & Gentlemans Moustache Trimming Router' is obviously not upto the job anymore, Treale.
I shall have to trade it in for a more exotic design!!

warspite1

To be fair old chap, Dr Fortesque's finest has never let me down, and I have installed the same model as you here in warspite towers. I think where you are going wrong is that you are not employing enough peasants to work the machine to its optimal capability.

Handy Hint: double the workforce and don't be too shy with the old cat o'nine tails. Sensible policies for a happier Britain eh what?

Indeed sir!!

I have instructed my slaves....ahem....workforce, to redouble their efforts for half the rations, but still no joy. Hopefully the Disks will be here at Empire House soon.

warspite1

Empire old chap, have you tried shooting the little blighters, what?

Tie the idle fellows to a cannon wheel I say.

(in reply to warspite1)

Post #: 28

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/8/2013 10:12:27 AM

warspite1

Posts: 41353
Joined: 2/2/2008
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ess1

quote:

ORIGINAL: warspite1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

quote:

ORIGINAL: warspite1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

My 'Dr Fortesque's Combined Imperial Steam Driven WiFi & Gentlemans Moustache Trimming Router' is obviously not upto the job anymore, Treale.
I shall have to trade it in for a more exotic design!!

warspite1

To be fair old chap, Dr Fortesque's finest has never let me down, and I have installed the same model as you here in warspite towers. I think where you are going wrong is that you are not employing enough peasants to work the machine to its optimal capability.

Handy Hint: double the workforce and don't be too shy with the old cat o'nine tails. Sensible policies for a happier Britain eh what?

Indeed sir!!

I have instructed my slaves....ahem....workforce, to redouble their efforts for half the rations, but still no joy. Hopefully the Disks will be here at Empire House soon.

warspite1

Empire old chap, have you tried shooting the little blighters, what?

Tie the idle fellows to a cannon wheel I say.

warspite1

Welcome ess1 - glad to see we have more sound, like minded individuals on the forum. Tell me, how much of Shropshire do you own?

_____________________________

England expects that every man will do his duty. Horatio Nelson October 1805

(in reply to ess1)

Post #: 29

RE: A Slow Descent into Madness - 12/9/2013 4:47:40 PM

Empire101

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/20/2008
From: Coruscant
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: warspite1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorachus99

So has the descent into madness made it to periscope level yet?

( in an outrageous German accent )
Not quite mein Kapitan, ve are stalking a battleschiff as we spracken...hold on - vat ist das im himmel. Mein gott die schiff ve are following - it's ze varspite - und she has launched a swordfisch.

U-64 was never heard from again.

As the hapless u-boat sank beneath the icy waves, Lord of the Fleet, Baron warspite, on the bridge of the Grand Old Lady, spat out with venom - "I say - tophole, great shooting from those FAA boys, what?"

The Admiral relaxed back in his chair, and allowed a wry smile to leak out from the finely-honed, chiselled features of his rugged, manly face. He turned to the midshipman on watch - Mr Empire - an effete, bumbling man who had no place in the Royal Navy - but was over promoted thanks to his "connections".

"I say Empire, fetch me a cup of tea...." the officer suddenly cut himself short, an insane thought occurred to him - "No!.... on second thoughts..... make it a mug"

[Cue astonished gasps from all on the bridge]

warspite1

Allow me to fix that for you old chap...

Man.....that made me laugh!!!

......but that was'nt quite the end of the story.

'.....Baron Warspite's career never looked back after this event, becoming First Lord of the Admiralty at the end of his illustrious career, while Midshipman Mr. Empire faded into oblivion.

But Baron Warspite was plagued forever after by the same recurring nightmare, that of the ghostly apparition of U-64 on the wind swept high seas bearing down on HMS Warspite, and as it got closer, he could just make out the ghostly skeletal crew of U-64, with Kapitan Gunther Prien Empiricus staring with malevolent intent from the conning tower, forever hunting down the Warspite.........'

Thankfully got WiF today.....the manuals are fantastic!!! Can't wait to get stuck in!!!

_____________________________

Our lives may be more boring than those who lived in apocalyptic times,
but being bored is greatly preferable to being prematurely dead because of some ideological fantasy. - Michael Burleigh

(in reply to warspite1)

Post #: 30