RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

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RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/7/2014 1:34:31 PM

Cap Mandrake

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*****************Aboard I-30, small cove, Socotra, Dec. 15, 1941(d)***********

<A small launch approaches the sub, crewed by a group of tall, thin men and carrying a huge load of Qat>

Captain Ito: Hory crap! You guys rearry skinny.

Head of skinny guys: Yes, this stuff nasty habit. Wreck teeth and make you not hungry but keep you going. Mistah Milo tell us to
bring stuff here. Top dollar.

Captain Ito: So stuff rearry work? And a rot cheaper than rhino horn too. It-ah work for size too?

XO of skinny guys: <whispering> what the Hell is he talking about?

Head of skinny guys: Who the Hell knows. We ask Milo.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/7/2014 3:01:20 PM >

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Post #: 361

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/7/2014 2:25:19 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Attachment (1)

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Post #: 362

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/7/2014 2:42:33 PM

Cap Mandrake

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*******251st Speciarh Interrogations Unit, Malay national paark, west of Mersing*******

<A Malaysian park ranger is tied to a chair>

Captain Ogata: I make this easy for you if you terr us where Sumatran Rhino rive.

Park Ranger Uhh, Sumatra?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 363

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/7/2014 9:05:33 PM

Cap Mandrake

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************Dec 16, 1941(d)*********

Fiji: At odds with conventionarh wisdom, we terr Nagumo to stop being sissy-boy and attack something. This time he risten to orders. Kates onry pranes that can fry that far. Captain of Pensacora probabry very rergious.

Morning Air attack on TF, near Suva at 132,160

Weather in hex: Light cloud

Raid spotted at 37 NM, estimated altitude 14,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 15 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 37
B5N2 Kate x 35

No Japanese losses

Allied Ships
xAK Admiral Halstead, Bomb hits 3, heavy fires, heavy damage
CA Pensacola

Aircraft Attacking:
9 x B5N2 Kate bombing from 9000 feet *
Naval Attack: 2 x 250 kg SAP Bomb
13 x B5N2 Kate bombing from 11000 feet *
Naval Attack: 2 x 250 kg SAP Bomb
13 x B5N2 Kate bombing from 11000 feet *
Naval Attack: 2 x 250 kg SAP Bomb

And, in afteroon he forget to say prayers.

Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Suva at 132,160

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid spotted at 25 NM, estimated altitude 14,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 10 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 37
B5N2 Kate x 57

Japanese aircraft losses
B5N2 Kate: 1 destroyed by flak

Allied Ships
xAP Bloemfontein, Bomb hits 2
CA Pensacola, Bomb hits 3, heavy fires, heavy damage
AP W.A. Holbrook, Bomb hits 3, on fire
xAP Republic, Bomb hits 1, on fire
xAK Coast Farmer, Bomb hits 4, heavy fires, heavy damage
xAK Meigs, Bomb hits 4, heavy fires
AGP Niagara, Bomb hits 4, heavy fires, heavy damage
xAP Chaumont, Bomb hits 3, heavy fires

51st Navarh Guard turn on warp drive and reach Nadi but staff frunkie forget to crick unroad button. Pensacora not-ah much threat but Le Triumphant is just 40 mires away. Japan-mens have 2 destroyers as SCTF at Nadi. I bereive Le Triumphant has some pretty good guns but most rikery 2 destroyers can drive her away from Nadi.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/7/2014 10:15:51 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 364

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/7/2014 9:31:53 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Nagumo can reach position 120 mi NE of Suva by morning. This shourd scare away Le Triumphant when sun come up but DD's at Nadi have to stand fast untirh then. Most rikery damaged Arried ships run SW or South or pehaps disband to port.

Carriers need to be in postion to cover approach of amphbious groups for Samoa in 1-2 days.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 365

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/7/2014 10:23:29 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Manado: Despite the fact that 800 Japan-mens were swimming in water rast night, Japan-mens take base. They use radio to order 800 new pairs of Fruit of Room.

Ground combat at Manado (75,99)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 1024 troops, 12 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 51

Defending force 1670 troops, 18 guns, 3 vehicles, Assault Value = 47

Japanese adjusted assault: 60

Allied adjusted defense: 17

Japanese assault odds: 3 to 1 (fort level 1)

Japanese forces CAPTURE Manado !!!

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), forts(+), morale(-), experience(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
24 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Allied ground losses:
512 casualties reported
Squads: 18 destroyed, 4 disabled
Non Combat: 39 destroyed, 1 disabled
Engineers: 2 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 7 (5 destroyed, 2 disabled)
Vehicles lost 2 (2 destroyed, 0 disabled)
Units retreated 2

Defeated Allied Units Retreating!

Assaulting units:
15th Naval Guard Unit
8th JNAF Coy

Defending units:
Manado Garrison Battalion
1/12th Avn Sup Afd

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Post #: 366

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/7/2014 10:27:50 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Hong Kong: Sonia pirots drop bombs on combat unit outisde Hong Kong. They rook hairy...rike Macaque...but many have dresses on rike womans. Very odd. Kabuki troop perhaps.

Morning Air attack on 1st Middlesex Battalion, at 77,61 (Hong Kong)

Weather in hex: Light cloud

Raid detected at 52 NM, estimated altitude 15,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 17 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-27b Nate x 12
Ki-48-Ib Lily x 15
Ki-51 Sonia x 18

Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-51 Sonia: 1 damaged

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 367

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/8/2014 3:19:47 AM

bradfordkay

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It appears that our narrator had a very strict instructor in the French language when he was younger. Somehow he manages to handle the French pronunciation of the letter "L"...

_____________________________

fair winds,
Brad

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 368

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/8/2014 3:46:53 AM

Cap Mandrake

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Editrix Note: A number of readers have questioned the consistency of the narrator on the pronunciation of various phonemes in both English and the romance languages.
The editorial board is of the opinion that this criticism has validity. We have also noted correct usage of the past indicative tense in English despite the shocking absence of
most articles and the painful use of other verb tenses. Rest assured we are investigating. Should a fraud be discovered the penalties will be <POOF>

(in reply to bradfordkay)

Post #: 369

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/8/2014 3:49:40 AM

bradfordkay

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Editrix?? Does she double as a dominatrix?

CRACK!!!

"See there!! You are still mixing your verb tenses!! No get on your knees, knave!!"

_____________________________

fair winds,
Brad

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 370

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 1:49:01 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Secret Arried time machine experiment redacted.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/9/2014 3:21:05 PM >

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Post #: 371

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 1:52:00 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

Editrix?? Does she double as a dominatrix?

CRACK!!!

"See there!! You are still mixing your verb tenses!! No get on your knees, knave!!"

In 1943 it's OK, even respectful, to say "editrix". You try that in the offices of New Yorker now and your skin would be scratched off followed by an emasculation with a dull blade.

And there wouldn't be any black leather either.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/9/2014 2:53:48 PM >

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Post #: 372

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 2:02:23 PM

poodlebrain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The LYB's send recon aircraft to Onnekatan-jima after the bombing raids from Shemya.

Am I in the right war? How did so much activity occur in the North Pacific in 1941?

_____________________________

Never trust a man who's ass is wider than his shoulders.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 373

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 2:07:19 PM

Chickenboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain
Am I in the right war? How did so much activity occur in the North Pacific in 1941?

It-ah so confusing! WWII(c) or WWII(d)? One from column A and one from column B?

_____________________________

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Post #: 374

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 2:20:15 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain

Am I in the right war? How did so much activity occur in the North Pacific in 1941?

Hory crap! Must be secret Arried experiment with time machines again!

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/9/2014 3:23:00 PM >

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Post #: 375

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 2:29:39 PM

Cap Mandrake

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33K white and brown devirs at Manira

24K white and brown devirs at Crark

Japan-mens move back Mavisesses to Kendari. PoW, Repurse, Boise, Houston.....gone. Rearry annoying.

Admirarh SPrior not think of anything to do with 4th Division..so we send towards Port Moresby. Arso 3 srow BB's head to Rabaul so we break
Arried airpranes at Port Moresby

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/9/2014 3:34:53 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 376

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 2:36:28 PM

Cap Mandrake

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How to shut off sperr check? It-ah rearry crappy. Red-ah, squiggry rines arr ovah prace.

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RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 2:40:49 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Go ovah to Pocahantas Girr's house Friday for barbecue. She have rot to drink before get there. Somebody say "rets go swimming" but PG not have bathing suit..so just take off crothes.

Rearry funny. Not-ah take picture.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 378

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 2:44:22 PM

Cap Mandrake

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PG's 17 year ord son get in fight with fathah...move back to her house. He not have-ah car so buy him brand new BMW 3 series coupe with brack wheers and tinted windows.

<Face parm>

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Post #: 379

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 2:46:58 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Moses get fire from work crew. Not-ah know what-ah happen. Maybe he drop big stone with writing? Now just one guy from Bibre work here if you not count garden-mens

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Post #: 380

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 2:48:21 PM

Cap Mandrake

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HOA send nsty rettah about new Shinto shrine. Ok, that-ah neighborhood update.

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Post #: 381

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 2:53:29 PM

Chickenboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

PG's 17 year ord son get in fight with fathah...move back to her house. He not have-ah car so buy him brand new BMW 3 series coupe with brack wheers and tinted windows.

<Face parm>

This end up rearry good! Just ah-rike Japanmen's war effort in WWII(d)! I ah-certain! Hai!

_____________________________

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Post #: 382

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 2:54:52 PM

Chickenboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Not-ah take picture.

_____________________________

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Post #: 383

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 3:09:51 PM

bradfordkay

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

Editrix?? Does she double as a dominatrix?

CRACK!!!

"See there!! You are still mixing your verb tenses!! No get on your knees, knave!!"

In 1943 it's OK, even respectful, to say "editrix". You try that in the offices of New Yorker now and your skin would be scratched off followed by an emasculation with a dull blade.

And there wouldn't be any black leather either.

My younger sister, who chose that career line, has never liked my joke either...

_____________________________

fair winds,
Brad

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 384

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 4:20:33 PM

Lecivius

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Go ovah to Pocahantas Girr's house Friday for barbecue. She have rot to drink before get there. Somebody say "rets go swimming" but PG not have bathing suit..so just take off crothes.

Rearry funny. Not-ah take picture.

Opportunity lost

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 385

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 4:40:02 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lecivius

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Go ovah to Pocahantas Girr's house Friday for barbecue. She have rot to drink before get there. Somebody say "rets go swimming" but PG not have bathing suit..so just take off crothes.

Rearry funny. Not-ah take picture.

Opportunity lost

Yes, well the physical world imposes certain constraints...like I was sitting there with Stalker Girl who didn't think it was nearly as funny as I did.

Even funnier, SG's 25 year old son was already in the pool. He wisely got out pretty quick.

(in reply to Lecivius)

Post #: 386

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 4:56:59 PM

Cap Mandrake

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I'm driving to work and, on National People's Radio, I hear about this group "Boko Haram" kidnapping and selling girls in Nigeria.....

I was only partly paying attention but I ask myself "What the Hell is a British rock group from the 60's doing in Nigeria and why don't they just release a "best of" album if they need money that bad?"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Procol_Harum

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Post #: 387

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 5:00:40 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Douglas Adams introduces Procol Harum

quote:

Ladies and Gentlemen ...

Anybody who knows me will know what a big thrill it is for me to be here to introduce this band tonight.

I've been a very, very great fan of Gary Brooker and Procol Harum ever since nearly thirty years ago when they suddenly surprised the world by leaping absolutely out of nowhere with one of the biggest hit records ever done by anybody at all ever under any circumstances. They then surprised the world even more by suddenly turning out to be from Southend and not from Detroit as everybody thought.

They then surprised the world even more by their complete failure to bring out an album within four months of the single, on the grounds that they hadn't written it yet. And then in a move of unparalleled marketing shrewdness and ingenuity they also actually left A Whiter Shade Of Pale off the Album. They never did anything straightforwardly at all as anyone who's ever tried to follow the chords of A Rum Tale will know.

Now they had one very very particular effect on my life. It was a song they did, which I expect some of you here will know, called Grand Hotel. Whenever I'm writing I tend to have music on in the background, and on this particular occasion I had Grand Hotel on the record player. This song always used to interest me because while Keith Reid's lyrics were all about this sort of beautiful hotel - the silver, the chandeliers, all those kind of things, but then suddenly in the middle of the song there was this huge orchestral climax that came out of nowhere and didn't seem to be about anything. I kept wondering what was this huge thing happening in the background? And I eventually thought ... it sounds as if there ought to be some sort of floorshow going on. Something huge and extraordinary, like, well, like the end of the universe. And so that was where the idea for The Restaurant at the End of the Universe came from - from Grand Hotel.

Anyway, enough from me. We're in for a great night tonight. There's no band quite like them. And tonight I'm glad to say the London Symphony Orchestra is going to sit in with them...[audience laughter & applause]. So I'd like for you to welcome please - the London Symphony Orchestra, the Chameleon Arts Chorus, Procol Harum, the Conductor, Nicholas Dodd, and Gentleman - Scholar-Musician, and I believe also Rear Admiral - Gary Brooker. Thank you very much.

And you thought we were off track.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/9/2014 6:00:49 PM >

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RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 5:17:19 PM

bradfordkay

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Memories.... Grand Hotel was/is a great album. I blame much of my misspent youth on their influence. It is nice to see that I am in such good company...

Edit: However, I somehow managed not to bring home a "Souvenir of London"!

< Message edited by bradfordkay -- 5/9/2014 6:18:13 PM >

_____________________________

fair winds,
Brad

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 389

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/9/2014 7:34:05 PM

Lecivius

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain

Am I in the right war? How did so much activity occur in the North Pacific in 1941?

Hory crap! Must be secret Arried experiment with time machines again!

It could be

http://msnvideo.msn.com/?channelindex=4&from=en-us_msnhp#/video/e0dfc37e-bcde-4d43-8592-aa1721f9f93c

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Post #: 390

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All Forums >> [New Releases from Matrix Games] >> War in the Pacific: Admiral's Edition >> After Action Reports >> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere