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RE: RIP??? - 7/22/2014 3:03:36 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		It does seem that underprepared armor units suffer less disruption than infantry....it could be a die roll thingy but there might be something in the rules.

So, I got talked into going to a free concert with a Bon Jovi "tribute" band. This a group of guys who doubtless had dreams of having their own recording contracts, private jets, groupies...yada, yada, yada...but, sometime in their late thirties or early forties, when confronted with paying for auto insurance for their out-of-wedlock children, decide to find a market niche.

There are many Stones and Beatles imitators...but...""hold on.....Jimmy has long blonde hair....why don't we do a Bon Jovi cover thing?"

Now, these guys were very good musicians but, honestly, I didn't know any Bon Jovi songs, or at least I thought I didn't but then they started playing the theme song form Deadliest Catch.

Hey! I know that! "Wanted...dead or alive...Wanted..wanted..dead or alive". Anyway, you smuggle in some 2-carbon fragments in a thermos ..the weather is nice..
you people watch. It's fun. So I would counsel you not to dismiss a Bon Jovi tribute band if they come to your area.

"..Oh.oh....livin' on a prayer.."

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/22/2014 4:05:17 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15481
RE: RIP??? - 7/22/2014 3:34:25 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		So after the ultimate Bon Jovi high everyone decides to keep having 2-carbon fragments so we go over to a bar.

We sit down at a booth and the nurses start drinking, evidently a serious avocation of theirs because they order drinks mixed with Red Bull so you can keep going without getting sleepy.

I am wedged in between SG and her ER nurse friend, who I inadvertently noticed has implausible large and pointy breastesses. Her boyfriend is a police officer who spends his non work hours in a gym, is at least 215 with no fat and is at least 20 years younger than me. Nice guy, but stil...

Pretty soon, SG's ER friend starts scooting over closer and closer and starts a sidebar conversation about her breast implants.
It's 2014 and, as an icebreaker, instead of the weather or the Angles season, breast implants are a preferred topic.

ER Nurse I love Dr Takamastsu (her augmentation doc is a Japan-men but I made up his name). He talked me into smaller implants. Do you think they are big enough? <sticks her breastesses onto the table..still covered up..sort of>

FAM <cursory look..no sane person would descriibe them as too small> Oh, sure. You don't want back pain or something. <I am starting to get nervous. I can see this going one of two ways...a cat fight if SG figures out what is going on...or a guy fight where I get the crap beat out of me by Jack LaLane Jr.>

ER Nurse THAT'S WHAT DR TAKEMATSU SAID! <she has evidently convinced herself that I am some kind of breatesses expert. She starts rubbing my leg which is not the kind of thing one does professionally with a breastesses expert. She decides she needs another peach long island iced tea with caffeine so I seize my opportunity and escape the booth..group hug...gotta get up in the morning>


Sweet Baby Jesus! That was close! NEVER, EVER, SIT ON THE INSIDE OF A BOOTH WITH ER NURSES!



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15482
RE: RIP??? - 7/22/2014 3:53:27 PM   
Lecivius


Posts: 4845
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: Denver
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Sweet Baby Jesus! That was close! NEVER, EVER, SIT ON THE INSIDE OF A BOOTH WITH ER NURSES!




My wife was an pediatric oncology nurse. She picked me up at a toga party.

Coincidence?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15483
RE: RIP??? - 7/22/2014 4:00:27 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lecivius


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Sweet Baby Jesus! That was close! NEVER, EVER, SIT ON THE INSIDE OF A BOOTH WITH ER NURSES!




My wife was an pediatric oncology nurse. She picked me up at a toga party.

Coincidence?


Are you a breastesses expert?

(in reply to Lecivius)
Post #: 15484
RE: RIP??? - 7/22/2014 4:09:20 PM   
Lecivius


Posts: 4845
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: Denver
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lecivius


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Sweet Baby Jesus! That was close! NEVER, EVER, SIT ON THE INSIDE OF A BOOTH WITH ER NURSES!




My wife was an pediatric oncology nurse. She picked me up at a toga party.

Coincidence?


Are you a breastesses expert?




Connoisseur

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15485
RE: RIP??? - 7/22/2014 4:49:00 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15486
RE: RIP??? - 7/22/2014 10:25:09 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		I am tempted to tell Stalker Girl about the inappropriate behavior of her colleague...it would be entertaining.....but...ultimately a bad idea.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15487
RE: RIP??? - 7/22/2014 10:38:35 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I am tempted to tell Stalker Girl about the inappropriate behavior of her colleague...it would be entertaining.....but...ultimately a bad idea.


Unless you think that SG would be moved to action by the 'opportunity' it posed for the three of you?

Pictures or it didn't happen.

_____________________________


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Post #: 15488
RE: RIP??? - 7/22/2014 10:45:41 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I am tempted to tell Stalker Girl about the inappropriate behavior of her colleague...it would be entertaining.....but...ultimately a bad idea.


Unless you think that SG would be moved to action by the 'opportunity' it posed for the three of you?

Pictures or it didn't happen.


I imagine this scenario. I follow you suggestion, which, though fraught with obvious peril, is actually accepted by all 3 parties for next Friday night. Then, at noon next Friday, the skies suddenly darken as a 100km wide asteroid blocks out the sun just before if plunges toward Southern California at 19,000 mph.

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 15489
RE: RIP??? - 7/22/2014 11:15:23 PM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I am tempted to tell Stalker Girl about the inappropriate behavior of her colleague...it would be entertaining.....but...ultimately a bad idea.


Unless you think that SG would be moved to action by the 'opportunity' it posed for the three of you?

Pictures or it didn't happen.


I imagine this scenario. I follow you suggestion, which, though fraught with obvious peril, is actually accepted by all 3 parties for next Friday night. Then, at noon next Friday, the skies suddenly darken as a 100km wide asteroid blocks out the sun just before if plunges toward Southern California at 19,000 mph.


And you awaken from that dream to find someone in a Lorena Bobbit mask standing over you...

_____________________________

Intel Monkey: https://sites.google.com/view/staffmonkeys/home

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15490
RE: RIP??? - 7/23/2014 12:09:45 AM   
Mike McCreery


Posts: 4232
Joined: 6/29/2013
Status: offline 		You have a lot better chance to live through the asteroid strike than the aftermath of a misplaced suggestion...

< Message edited by Wargmr -- 7/23/2014 1:10:03 AM >

_____________________________


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Post #: 15491
RE: RIP??? - 7/23/2014 3:02:06 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Wouldn't a 100 km wide asteroid destroy all life on earth?

In the meantime, never EVER go swimming in the Ob River in Novosibersk.



< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/23/2014 4:02:18 AM >

(in reply to Mike McCreery)
Post #: 15492
RE: RIP??? - 7/23/2014 3:34:21 AM   
Mike McCreery


Posts: 4232
Joined: 6/29/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Wouldn't a 100 km wide asteroid destroy all life on earth?

In the meantime, never EVER go swimming in the Ob River in Novosibersk.




Couldnt your wife destroy your life and leave you with alimony payments?? Never ending pain?? :P


_____________________________


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Post #: 15493
RE: RIP??? - 7/23/2014 4:25:52 AM   
poodlebrain

 

Posts: 392
Joined: 10/4/2012
From: Comfy Chair in Baton Rouge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I am tempted to tell Stalker Girl about the inappropriate behavior of her colleague...it would be entertaining.....but...ultimately a bad idea.


Unless you think that SG would be moved to action by the 'opportunity' it posed for the three of you?

Pictures or it didn't happen.


I imagine this scenario. I follow you suggestion, which, though fraught with obvious peril, is actually accepted by all 3 parties for next Friday night. Then, at noon next Friday, the skies suddenly darken as a 100km wide asteroid blocks out the sun just before if plunges toward Southern California at 19,000 mph.

When I read the "fraught with obvious peril" bit in the context of sex with multiple women I immediately pictured Sir Gallahad the Chaste being rescued from spankings and oral sex at Castle Anthrax by Sir Lancelot. You may have been in equal danger.


_____________________________

Never trust a man who's ass is wider than his shoulders.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15494
RE: RIP??? - 7/23/2014 1:43:08 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wargmr


Couldnt your wife destroy your life and leave you with alimony payments?? Never ending pain?? :P



One of the few redeeming virtues of a 100km asteroid strike is the sharp drop in the number of divorce attorneys.

(in reply to Mike McCreery)
Post #: 15495
RE: RIP??? - 7/23/2014 1:45:38 PM   
Lecivius


Posts: 4845
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: Denver
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I am tempted to tell Stalker Girl about the inappropriate behavior of her colleague...it would be entertaining.....but...ultimately a bad idea.


Unless you think that SG would be moved to action by the 'opportunity' it posed for the three of you?

Pictures or it didn't happen.


I imagine this scenario. I follow you suggestion, which, though fraught with obvious peril, is actually accepted by all 3 parties for next Friday night. Then, at noon next Friday, the skies suddenly darken as a 100km wide asteroid blocks out the sun just before if plunges toward Southern California at 19,000 mph.



You buys your ticket, and you takes yer chances.


But it would be an E ticket ride!

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15496
RE: RIP??? - 7/23/2014 1:48:24 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:





VISIT BEAUTIFUL NOVOSIBERSK!


I realize the summer may be short in Siberia but when you see an eye-wall coming it may be time to get out of the lovely 58 degree Ob River.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15497
RE: RIP??? - 7/23/2014 1:52:18 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		What were we talking about before. Oh yeah, Operation Sticky Green.

Claims of the destruction of the world's supply of remaining Bettys were greatly inflated.






Attachment (1)

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/23/2014 2:57:21 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15498
RE: RIP??? - 7/23/2014 2:23:19 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I am tempted to tell Stalker Girl about the inappropriate behavior of her colleague...it would be entertaining.....but...ultimately a bad idea.


Unless you think that SG would be moved to action by the 'opportunity' it posed for the three of you?

Pictures or it didn't happen.


I imagine this scenario. I follow you suggestion, which, though fraught with obvious peril, is actually accepted by all 3 parties for next Friday night. Then, at noon next Friday, the skies suddenly darken as a 100km wide asteroid blocks out the sun just before if plunges toward Southern California at 19,000 mph.

When I read the "fraught with obvious peril" bit in the context of sex with multiple women I immediately pictured Sir Gallahad the Chaste being rescued from spankings and oral sex at Castle Anthrax by Sir Lancelot. You may have been in equal danger.



Aye. But as Gallahad was wanting to "go back and face the peril", he was unfortunately dragged off by Lancelot, et. al. Poor guy never got to exercise free will and face his peril.

_____________________________


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Post #: 15499
RE: RIP??? - 7/31/2014 10:36:51 AM   
davidjruss


Posts: 235
Joined: 5/25/2002
From: Derby, England
Status: offline 		8 days without a post - what has happened? ( also with the game ).


(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 15500
RE: RIP??? - 7/31/2014 2:46:21 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Admiral Sir Lord Sprior is AWOL.

He went to a conference on WWI warships on HMS Victory and:

1) May have been inspired to re-enlist and is now somewhere off Jultand looking for Lutzow.

2) He was impressed at the presentation and was impressed, literally.

3) Somebody was smoking hemp at work, set off the sprinklers and flooded all the Atari 800's in the basement.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/31/2014 3:46:51 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15501
RE: RIP??? - 7/31/2014 3:44:38 PM   
Argos

 

Posts: 130
Joined: 11/1/2010
From: Bozeman, MT
Status: offline 		Since its slow...

#4 Asked to role play Nelson and didn't realize the level of realism - currently stuck in pickle barrel without cell service....

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15502
RE: RIP??? - 7/31/2014 3:50:27 PM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Admiral Sir Lord Sprior is AWOL.

He went to a conference on WWI warships on HMS Victory and:

1) May have been inspired to re-enlist and is now somewhere off Jultand looking for Lutzow.

2) He was impressed at the presentation and was impressed, literally.

3) Somebody was smoking hemp at work, set off the sprinklers and flooded all the Atari 800's in the basement.


I was thinking situation 2, along with a time warp that put him back in 1805 or so, when the only electricity available came from the sky and was quite unreliable.
His laptop probably fried at the first surge ...
Or maybe he's at Jutland, WW Ib, on board HMS Warspite, taunting the Huns as he circles under their guns!




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

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Post #: 15503
RE: RIP??? - 7/31/2014 3:55:38 PM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline 		The simple explanations first: he's a sailor ashore, for Pete's sake!

_____________________________

Intel Monkey: https://sites.google.com/view/staffmonkeys/home

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Post #: 15504
RE: RIP??? - 7/31/2014 6:07:03 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Mom of premie twins, the smaller of which has a unit so tiny it is not realistic to do a circumcision: Well, if we can't do it now, then when can we revisit the issue.

FAM Well, unless there is a medical indication it may be best if he isn't circumcised. Look at Europe, for example.

Mom of premie twins, the smaller of which has a unit so tiny it is not realistic to do a circumcision: Well, they don't brush their teeth either.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/31/2014 7:07:26 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15505
RE: RIP??? - 7/31/2014 6:09:43 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Nobody anwered my question/observation about unprepped armor and amphibious landings.

Do they really suffer less disruption than infantry?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15506
RE: RIP??? - 7/31/2014 6:21:54 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Whoa! Miracle of miracles! My request for excuse from jury service has ben APPROVED!

On the marriage question on the Jury Duty questionaire I put down "Do not know" because SG got mad at me and changed her Facebook status to "Complicated" and can't change it back now that she changed her mind.

On the number of children I put down 7. Technically, this is true, even though one is 30.

On the "number of individuals in the houselhold" I put down 7, which is also true, if you include the dogs.


So the clerk reviewing this is like:

"Santa Maria! Poor bastard doesn't even know if he is married, has 7 kids, almost all living at home and he does not get paid for Jury duty! Hell, we should send him some canned food or something." <STAMPS "APPROVED">

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15507
RE: RIP??? - 7/31/2014 6:24:47 PM   
Mike McCreery


Posts: 4232
Joined: 6/29/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Whoa! Miracle of miracles! My request for excuse from jury service has ben APPROVED!

On the marriage question on the Jury Duty questionaire I put down "Do not know" because SG got mad at me and changed her Facebook status to "Complicated" and can't change it back now that she changed her mind.

On the number of children I put down 7. Technically, this is true, even though one is 30.

On the "number of individuals in the houselhold" I put down 7, which is also true, if you include the dogs.


So the clerk reviewing this is like:

"Santa Maria! Poor bastard doesn't even know if he is married, has 7 kids, almost all living at home and he does not get paid for Jury duty! Hell, we should send him some canned food or something." <STAMPS "APPROVED">


It was probably a child support case :P


_____________________________


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Post #: 15508
RE: RIP??? - 7/31/2014 8:55:08 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		So...I sorta forgot it was my anniversary today....and here comes a big vase of roses.


"HORY CRAP!" ...Now, in fairness I did remember it was coming up so I took SG out to dinner on Saturday but we all know that will not be sufficient..so my staff (all women) notices the flowers and follow them back and immediately deduce the situation. It was uncanny. They look at the roses and the look on my face and the front office manager says.."Oh, it's your anniversay and you forgot"

She continues: "OK, here's what you do. She doesn't know wexactly when the flowers get here, right? So, you text her now wishing 'Happy Anniversary" and then, in about an hour you pretend like you just got the flowers. Then you get something on the way home"

It's just brilliant! It worked! Well, so far. I will admit there are too many people in on the conspiracy but it is a bit late to worry about that.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/31/2014 9:56:19 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15509
RE: RIP??? - 8/1/2014 12:55:29 AM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline 		Do not, under any circumstances, allow your office staff to be in the same room with SG and available alcohol.
The booze will cause any resolve at secrecy to crack ...

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 15510
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