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RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 12:21:07 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		Now balds are fine. I read an article about this eastern Asian who rode around on his horse with a golden. He wasn't a Mongolian but someone from the north of there. Anyway, this golden could take just about anything. She'd just make them fall off there perch on a mountainside and they'd fall to their deaths. We're talking mountain goats and sheep, but also grey wolves. That's how the guy made his living.

(in reply to BBfanboy)
Post #: 931
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 2:57:41 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		You know that you really can't explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They take everything. Literally.

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Post #: 932
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 3:38:59 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

You know that you really can't explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They take everything. Literally.


Well, if they're French, we can take their consonants, they won't miss them. If you want to be really evil, you can dump some of your excess vowels on them, it won't make any difference.

Yeah, even throw an "x" on the end and see if anyone notices.

< Message edited by geofflambert -- 9/20/2016 3:44:25 AM >

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 933
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 6:25:43 AM   
Zorch

 

Posts: 7087
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

You know that you really can't explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They take everything. Literally.


Well, if they're French, we can take their consonants, they won't miss them. If you want to be really evil, you can dump some of your excess vowels on them, it won't make any difference.

Yeah, even throw an "x" on the end and see if anyone notices.

We can donate the excess vowels to Slavic countries like The Czech Republic and Slovakia...They desperately need vowels.

(in reply to geofflambert)
Post #: 934
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 3:44:56 PM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		I remember where ever he was playing, people would hold up signs "Kent Hrbek - buy a vowel".

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Post #: 935
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 3:48:28 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch


quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

You know that you really can't explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They take everything. Literally.


Well, if they're French, we can take their consonants, they won't miss them. If you want to be really evil, you can dump some of your excess vowels on them, it won't make any difference.

Yeah, even throw an "x" on the end and see if anyone notices.

We can donate the excess vowels to Slavic countries like The Czech Republic and Slovakia...They desperately need vowels.


An oldie, but a goodie...

Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia

(originally appeared in The Onion, Number One In News)
Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients

Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A,E,I,O and U, and is hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable.
"For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Clinton said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say 'Enough.' It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words. The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavour."

The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Storm by the State Department, is set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated to be the first recipients. Two C-130 transport planes, each carrying over 500 24-count boxes of "E's," will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.

Citizens of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels. "My God, I do not think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnjkln, 44, said. "I have six children and none of them has a name that is understandable to me or to anyone else. Mr. Clinton, please send my poor, wretched family just one 'E.' Please."

Said Sjlbvdnzv resident Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I could be George Humphries. This is my dream."

The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a foreign country since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped 92,000 consonants to Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aao with vital, life-giving supplies of L's, S's and T's.

_____________________________


(in reply to Zorch)
Post #: 936
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 4:05:34 PM   
John 3rd


Posts: 17178
Joined: 9/8/2005
From: La Salle, Colorado
Status: offline 		That was pretty good and made me chuckle.


_____________________________



Member: Treaty, Reluctant Admiral and Between the Storms Mod Team.

Reluctant Admiral Mod:
https://sites.google.com/site/reluctantadmiral/

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 937
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 4:48:53 PM   
Orm


Posts: 22154
Joined: 5/3/2008
From: Sweden
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

You know that you really can't explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They take everything. Literally.



_____________________________

Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often students, for heaven's sake. - Terry Pratchett

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 938
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 4:52:46 PM   
Orm


Posts: 22154
Joined: 5/3/2008
From: Sweden
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch


quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

You know that you really can't explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They take everything. Literally.


Well, if they're French, we can take their consonants, they won't miss them. If you want to be really evil, you can dump some of your excess vowels on them, it won't make any difference.

Yeah, even throw an "x" on the end and see if anyone notices.

We can donate the excess vowels to Slavic countries like The Czech Republic and Slovakia...They desperately need vowels.


An oldie, but a goodie...

Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia

(originally appeared in The Onion, Number One In News)
Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients

Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A,E,I,O and U, and is hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable.
"For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Clinton said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say 'Enough.' It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words. The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavour."

The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Storm by the State Department, is set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated to be the first recipients. Two C-130 transport planes, each carrying over 500 24-count boxes of "E's," will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.

Citizens of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels. "My God, I do not think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnjkln, 44, said. "I have six children and none of them has a name that is understandable to me or to anyone else. Mr. Clinton, please send my poor, wretched family just one 'E.' Please."

Said Sjlbvdnzv resident Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I could be George Humphries. This is my dream."

The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a foreign country since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped 92,000 consonants to Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aao with vital, life-giving supplies of L's, S's and T's.



Pretty good and not an inch of PC.

_____________________________

Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often students, for heaven's sake. - Terry Pratchett

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 939
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 5:52:03 PM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		I have this daydream I do when I have nothing to read or do. I’m a self-financing industrial magnate back in the 1920’s but I know what’s coming and when. I get the contract (however I have to do, I do it) to scrap the four Lexingtons under construction. I pretend to scrap them by gutting what I don’t want out of them, and ultimately fully scrap the Ranger. On a foggy night I tow the others out and take them to a secret facility with enclosed dry docks. Now slowly (I have lots of time) I begin building an aircraft carrier. Just one. It would utilize all three hulls. The flight deck and the hangar deck would span all three. The flight deck would consist of a reinforced concrete deck plated top and bottom with steel. The whole structure would be reinforced by I-beams transversing across a deck halfway to the waterline. These beams would have nothing bigger than man hole doors (like on a sub) cut into them and kept closed most of the time. Probably just crews quarters on this deck. There might be a further deck just below the hangar deck transversing all three hulls which would allow most of the air delivered munitions to be stored in magazines in the center hull and distributed to the other two hulls. Both this deck and the hangar deck would have walls separating each hull with blast doors of sufficient size for moving aircraft and etc. as needed across the ship. The blast doors would be open only as needed and certainly closed if an incoming attack were spotted. The avgas would also be stored in the center hull. There might be additional armor over the center hull, perhaps on the floor of the arming deck. There would be vents for the hangar deck and arming deck in the seams between the hulls in case of a penetration over the center hull. I just thought of this, those vents could vent downward. The island would rise over one side or the other of the center hull.
Each hull would have its own engines, screws, rudders and fuel supply. Obviously the center hull would be nearly impervious to torpedoes. Appropriate mine defenses would be called for there (vented bulges perhaps). Once the Japanese renounce the Washington treaty, serious construction could begin in earnest. Because I would not want the existence of this monster public before it was unavoidable, I would be constructing a secret base somewhere in Alaska’s Inner Passage for her. I would accelerate the production of the Hudson if I could, and purchase enough for one squadron with spares, then modify them so they were essentially Harpoons with folding wings. Their roles would be search, ASW and medium bombing. They would be capable of torpedo attacks. Probably a squadron of 24. I’d fund the construction and purchase the first Wildcats, Avengers and Dauntlesses I could lay hands on. I’d fund the USN with whatever it took to train the requisite number of crews (of all types including mechanics and ship’s crews) on other carriers as needed.

That’s mostly it, you can run day-dream scenarios of various sorts starting there.

(in reply to Orm)
Post #: 940
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 6:51:10 PM   
Zorch

 

Posts: 7087
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		Me? I dream of electric sheep.

(in reply to geofflambert)
Post #: 941
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 7:08:15 PM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		Who was that? Delany? I'm looking it up. You know, Samsung has a patent on you.

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Post #: 942
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 7:09:24 PM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		Philip K. Dick

(in reply to geofflambert)
Post #: 943
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 7:13:17 PM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

Me? I dream of electric sheep.


As long as you don't sod***ze them, I have no problem with that.

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Post #: 944
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/20/2016 8:22:48 PM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		I was wondering if a hummingbird's bill was one piece, as in the top and bottom being fused together. Never really saw one with an open bill.
Well, they can open and I bet most of the time it's in a microsecond. They do vocalize with chirps, but it has to be really quiet to hear them, like in the morning before the traffic gets heavy or the dog and human unnecessary vocalizations begin.
Not my pic here:





I've seen it said that hbirds begin to recognize the humans (and gorns) that fill their feeders. I don't know if that is the case for me 'cause if I try and change them in daylight I will receive bee stings.
One time I was even stung at night. They do start to feed in the early dawn when you wouldn't think they could see where they are flying. The honey bees will not have arrived yet and so their only competition is other hbirds.


Attachment (1)

< Message edited by geofflambert -- 9/20/2016 8:34:30 PM >

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Post #: 945
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/21/2016 12:09:33 AM   
Anthropoid


Posts: 3107
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Secret Underground Lair
Status: offline 		Never trust a Gorn in a coop match . . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hnBp7x2QAE



_____________________________

The x-ray is her siren song. My ship cannot resist her long. Nearer to my deadly goal. Until the black hole. Gains control...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkIIlkyZ328&feature=autoplay&list=AL94UKMTqg-9CocLGbd6tpbuQRxyF4FGNr&playnext=3

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Post #: 946
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/21/2016 2:34:08 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Anthropoid

Never trust a Gorn in a coop match . . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hnBp7x2QAE




We were just practicing. Our fans expect a good show. One time we even got Vince McMahon and his lovely wife Linda to emcee.

(in reply to Anthropoid)
Post #: 947
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/22/2016 7:44:49 PM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		My first Monarch Caterpillar. Or is it a John Deere? I can't tell the difference.





Attachment (1)

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Post #: 948
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/22/2016 7:46:48 PM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		I took this pic from my window about 25' away. Tried to get a close up macro shot but couldn't get the camera to focus. No manual focus with this camera.

(in reply to geofflambert)
Post #: 949
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/22/2016 7:50:47 PM   
warspite1


Posts: 41353
Joined: 2/2/2008
From: England
Status: offline 		How come you get away with it Gorn? Whenever I try and get close ups of birds using my telephoto lens + binocular combo it always leads to the police, a night in the cells, restraining orders and allsorts

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England expects that every man will do his duty. Horatio Nelson October 1805



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Post #: 950
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/22/2016 7:54:49 PM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		warspite1 you need to stop trying to get pics of your monarch in her knickers!

(in reply to warspite1)
Post #: 951
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/22/2016 9:16:22 PM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

warspite1 you need to stop trying to get pics of your monarch in her knickers!

His monarch is kind of aged and her beauty has faded quite a lot. He is shooting potential future monarchs ...

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No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

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Post #: 952
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/22/2016 9:36:54 PM   
Orm


Posts: 22154
Joined: 5/3/2008
From: Sweden
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

warspite1 you need to stop trying to get pics of your monarch in her knickers!

His monarch is kind of aged and her beauty has faded quite a lot. He is shooting potential future monarchs ...

He is not shooting anyone. He doesn't have the skills. He even said so himself.

He can't even take a picture of the broad side of a barn.

< Message edited by Orm -- 9/22/2016 9:39:50 PM >

_____________________________

Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often students, for heaven's sake. - Terry Pratchett

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Post #: 953
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/22/2016 9:41:56 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Orm

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

warspite1 you need to stop trying to get pics of your monarch in her knickers!

His monarch is kind of aged and her beauty has faded quite a lot. He is shooting potential future monarchs ...

He is not shooting anyone. He doesn't have the skills. He even said so himself.

He can't even take a picture of the broad side of a barn.


Well, what about the dude side of a barn then?


_____________________________


(in reply to Orm)
Post #: 954
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/22/2016 9:47:23 PM   
Orm


Posts: 22154
Joined: 5/3/2008
From: Sweden
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Orm

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

warspite1 you need to stop trying to get pics of your monarch in her knickers!

His monarch is kind of aged and her beauty has faded quite a lot. He is shooting potential future monarchs ...

He is not shooting anyone. He doesn't have the skills. He even said so himself.

He can't even take a picture of the broad side of a barn.


Well, what about the dude side of a barn then?


Not even a white elephant. Not even if it stared him in the eye.

_____________________________

Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often students, for heaven's sake. - Terry Pratchett

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 955
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/22/2016 11:26:09 PM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Orm

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

warspite1 you need to stop trying to get pics of your monarch in her knickers!

His monarch is kind of aged and her beauty has faded quite a lot. He is shooting potential future monarchs ...

He is not shooting anyone. He doesn't have the skills. He even said so himself.

He can't even take a picture of the broad side of a barn.


Why not? Which side is the broad usually on? Oops.

(in reply to Orm)
Post #: 956
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/23/2016 1:04:36 AM   
Zorch

 

Posts: 7087
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert


quote:

ORIGINAL: Orm

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

warspite1 you need to stop trying to get pics of your monarch in her knickers!

His monarch is kind of aged and her beauty has faded quite a lot. He is shooting potential future monarchs ...

He is not shooting anyone. He doesn't have the skills. He even said so himself.

He can't even take a picture of the broad side of a barn.


Why not? Which side is the broad usually on? Oops.


Is that why they call it a BROADcast?

(in reply to geofflambert)
Post #: 957
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/23/2016 2:28:39 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		I'm really not sure, but this, I believe is what they're talking about when discussing broad band.





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Post #: 958
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/23/2016 2:37:42 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		I know, I cause an unnecessary disruption in the force when I post things like that, but I just can't help it.

(in reply to geofflambert)
Post #: 959
RE: OT Things to ponder - 9/23/2016 2:56:01 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

warspite1 you need to stop trying to get pics of your monarch in her knickers!

His monarch is kind of aged and her beauty has faded quite a lot. He is shooting potential future monarchs ...


Are you referring to this one? I've stated before that dimples just kill me. This woman totally flattens me into a green puddle of goo.






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(in reply to BBfanboy)
Post #: 960
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