obvert
Posts: 14050
Joined: 1/17/2011 From: PDX (and now) London, UK Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Canoerebel This has been a great thread, doing exactly what I had hoped. We've gotten a lot of great information from a lot of people everywhere. We've had people with particular expertise weigh in with their own thoughts. There are differences of opinion but mostly folks get along and self-regulate. I've taken thoughts posted in here by John Dillworth, Obvert, RFalvo, Chickenboy, Cap Mandrake and shared them with my family, both in writing and in conversation. This is an excellent community. In person, I believe everyone here would be most gracious to everybody else. Without exception. I've known many of the people in here for years. Over that time, most of them have built up tremendous deposits of good will. If they've said the wrong thing in here, from time, to time, those can be overlooked (mostly, usually) because they have such established records. That's happened a few times. There is one person in here who overdrew his account of good will seriously. He's made the atmosphere poisonous. He's provoked other members to various expressions of outrage or leaving. I've seen people who have never had a discouraging word become uncharacteristically miffed at him, but it's not them. It's him. He's the poison. And he has his enablers. While most people in here say what they think, there is one who tells others what to think. He cloaks his words in "I want to build bridges" while doing his work and tearing them down. When he gets things absolutely, demonstratively wrong, he slips away in the dark. Always, 100% of the time, refuses to acknowledge a mistake. There is one other that internalizes things and sees boogeymen where there aren't any. A few days ago, he posted that it was an age thing for me; that I was picking on him and others because of generational matters, which isn't true. Until that moment, I had no idea how old he was. From the context of his comment, I now suppose he's in his 30s or 40s but for all I knew, until then, he was my age or 20 or 80. Another fellow I know pretty well is, I think, in his late 40s, but's that's my age (or so I think). The poisoner is comparatively younger based on a comment he made a year ago in another thread, but I'm not sure. It doesn't matter. Or is there some component to generational things that explains the behavior of these three? Is that why the poisoner and his enablers insist on keeping everything public? Is that why they refused every request to keep this private or take matters private? Is this a Facebook way of doing things? (Probably not - there are undoubtedly a bunch of folks in here, younger and older, who use Facebook but don't act this way.) I have the poisoner on Ignore and it's worked pretty well - not perfectly, but well. I'm adding his two enablers. They've seriously drawn on their stock of goodwill. Not overdrawn though. I'll be glad to discuss things privately with them at length, in depth. Always have been. Every person in here is a good man in person, I believe. Even the one who poisoned this thread. I think a few others on here are beginning to see who you really are Dan. It's sad since you obviously put a lot of pride in your standing in this community. When it comes to having ideals of yours challenged at all, you attack the person, not the idea. What Cap Mandrake said is beyond anything I've seen on the Forum directed at another long term forumite in the nine years I've been here. You can green button anyone you like, but that won't take away the problem. If you want a community you have to accept that involves people that are different than yourself. You also have to use the same principles to regulate behaviour for all if that is something you feel is your prerogative. All I can say is that I'm incredibly disappointed someone I spent years interacting with, playing against and sharing personal anecdotes and good wishes with would throw me under the bus instead of engaging in discussion.
< Message edited by obvert -- 4/5/2020 8:00:42 PM >
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"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill
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