RE: In Drydock (Full Version)

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ny59giants -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 1:20:34 AM)

We all know that the writers in Hollywood who edit this part out. They would not have the only romance in the movie die an early death. [:D]




kaleun -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 2:02:17 AM)

Holy mackerel! That's some writing.

[X(]




Terminus -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 2:16:22 AM)

Good Lord... Ol' Chief go nutty-nutty...




rtrapasso -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 2:26:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ny59giants

We all know that the writers in Hollywood who edit this part out. They would not have the only romance in the movie die an early death. [:D]


Hey - in the words of some other character (from another time and place) : "I'm not quite dead yet!!"




Terminus -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 2:29:10 AM)

Oh, I think we can safely assume that Chief Shun will be quite thorough... The man is obviously psychotic...[X(]




Admiral DadMan -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 2:30:23 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

quote:

ORIGINAL: ny59giants

We all know that the writers in Hollywood who edit this part out. They would not have the only romance in the movie die an early death. [:D]


Hey - in the words of some other character (from another time and place) : "I'm not quite dead yet!!"

Or how about, "I've been dead before".




rtrapasso -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 2:45:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Admiral DadMan


quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

quote:

ORIGINAL: ny59giants

We all know that the writers in Hollywood who edit this part out. They would not have the only romance in the movie die an early death. [:D]


Hey - in the words of some other character (from another time and place) : "I'm not quite dead yet!!"

Or how about, "I've been dead before".


Or how about Ripley (from the Aliens series):

"I thought you were dead!"
"Yeah, I get that a lot..."




tocaff -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 2:52:30 AM)

Wow!  Will there be an investigation or will the ship sail off to war as nothing has happened?  Was there a murder or did common sense take over before it was to late? 




rtrapasso -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 2:53:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tocaff

Wow! Will there be an investigation or will the ship sail off to war as nothing has happened? Was there a murder or did common sense take over before it was to late?


Stay tuned for the NEXT thrilling installment!! [X(] [:D]




Terminus -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 2:54:00 AM)

Stay tuned![8D]




marky -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 2:59:26 AM)

quote:

"I've been dead before".


Leonard Nimoy, Captain Spock Star Trek 6 Undiscovered Country




goodboyladdie -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 12:48:19 PM)

You have definitely missed your vocation CF. This is top drawer writing. [&o]

And you ARE better than Clancy. He builds a story well, but gets over excited and hurries towards the end and his writing suffers from it. The depth of the story you have been able to create in such small collections of paragraphs points to a huge untapped talent and I would love to see what you could do given a larger canvas.




ny59giants -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 2:37:30 PM)

If this was a TV series, this would be the season ending show and you would be forced to wait all summer to find out if he does die.
Kind of like "who shot JR"??[X(]




Cuttlefish -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 11:15:38 PM)

July 10, 1942

Location: Kobe
Course: None
Attached to: Disbanded in port
Mission: None
System Damage: 2
Float Damage: 0
Fires: 0
Fuel: 475

Orders: Repair the ship and get back in the war.

---

(The previous day)

Chief Torpedo Officer Sugiyura is on his way to make an inspection of the Hibiki’s torpedo storage areas below decks. As he walks down a narrow companionway he suddenly pauses. From the bulkhead beside him he hears a dull, irregular thumping noise.

The lieutenant’s brow furrow in puzzlement. He steps to the partially open door leading into a storage area behind the bulkhead and peers into the dim room inside. What he sees alarms him so much he bursts into the room. At the far end of the room Chief Petty Officer Shun has a sailor by the throat. The poor sailor is pinned against a bulkhead, his feet a foot off the floor. The drumming of his heels against the metal behind him was the sound that alerted Sugiyura.

Sugiyura hurries forward. “Chief! Stop it!” he orders. Shun does not move. His eyes are locked on the sailor’s face. He seems to be completely unaware of Sugiyura’s presence. “Attention!” snaps the lieutenant. No response. He grabs the Chief’s arm and tries to break his grip, but the arm and the grip are like steel.

Sugiyura glances at the sailor. His face is purple and he is twitching feebly. There is not much time. Sugiyura steadies himself and takes a deep breath, then releases it slowly. He centers himself as he was taught, banishing Shun, the sailor, and everything else from his mind. Another deep breath and suddenly he turns, jamming stiffened fingers into the nerve cluster in Shun’s right shoulder.

Shun’s outstretched right arm trembles, then his hand opens involuntarily. The sailor collapses to the floor. He gags, then begins taking huge, painful, whooping breaths.

Shun blinks and seems to become aware of Sugiyura for the first time. He pivots to face him and tries to salute, but his right arm will not obey him properly. Shun looks confused and tries again, then finally salutes the Lieutenant with his left hand. A racking cough from the floor draws his attention. He looks down and sees the sailor curled up and wheezing at his feet, and his eyes widen. He looks up at Sugiyura with a confused expression. The torpedo officer suddenly feels completely out of his depth.

“Chief, report to your quarters and remain there until sent for,” he says. Shun slowly nods.

“Yes sir,” he says. He looks down at the sailor in concern.

“I’ll see he is taken care of,” says Sugiyura shortly. “Go.” Shun turns and departs. Sugiyura reaches down and helps the sailor to his feet. The lieutenant recognizes him now that his face looks a bit more normal. His name is Riku Ariga, or something like that.

“Are you all right?” asks Sugiyura. Ariga tries to speak but only wheezes. He settles for shaking his head. Sugiyura frowns. The sailor does not look too healthy. The lieutenant helps him out of the room and towards the dispensary. He only uses his left hand, though. From the feel of things he has broken a couple of fingers on the right one.

---

(Today)

Captain Ishii is seated at the head of the table in the officer’s wardroom. Lieutenant Miharu is seated to his right. Standing to the left side is Chief Torpedo Officer Sugiyura. Two of Sugiyura’s fingers are splinted and bandaged.

Standing at the far end of the table are Seaman First Class Riku Ariga and Chief Petty Officer Shun. Riku seems to be all right, although there is a series of ugly bruises around his neck and he does not seem able to turn his head very much. Shun is stolidly at attention, but he is obviously uncomfortable.

“Is that the whole story, then?” Captain Ishii asks. Riku and Shun both say “yes sir” in unison. Ishii looks down the table at Shun. “Well, Chief, what do you have to say for yourself?” Shun draws himself up

“Sir, my actions are inexcusable. I have brought shame upon myself and upon this ship. I must obviously receive the harshest possible punishment.” Ishii leans back in his chair.

“There’s one thing I still don’t understand,” he says. He gestures at Riku. “This young man is obviously smitten by your daughter. I understand a father’s feelings in this regard, believe me. But from everything I have heard Seaman Ariga has behaved respectfully towards her. He has made no improper advances. The worse thing he is guilty of is bad love poetry. An offense to be sure, but hardly worthy of strangulation. I know you have a temper, Chief, but it takes a lot to set it off. Why did you do it?” Shun hunches his shoulders and looks down. He mumbles something inaudible. Ishii asks him to repeat it. Shun sighs and raises his head.

“She talked about him,” Shun says. “When I was home. She mentioned his name and asked me about him.” Beside him Riku draws a quiet breath. Captain Ishii opens one hand.

“Two young people, possibly interested in one another. But again, nothing untoward has happened,” he says.

“He is not worthy!” bursts out Shun. “Of all the men on the ship, he…he…” words fail him. He glares at Riku, then subsides. Captain Ishii sighs, obviously trying to decide how to proceed.

“Sir, may I speak?” asks Riku. Captain Ishii nods assent. Riku turns and addresses Shun. His voice is still hoarse, but he speaks clearly.

“Chief Petty Officer Shun,” says Riku, “you are correct. I am not worthy. I know what you think of me as a sailor and as a man, and I do not say you are wrong. If it will satisfy you, I will take an oath. I will swear before you, these officers, and all my ancestors that from this moment forward I will not attempt to see your daughter. I will not speak her name, I will not write to or about her. Nothing. I will do none of these things until the day you approach me and give me permission to court her. Will that satisfy you?” Shun gazes at Riku for a long moment. Riku looks steadily back. Finally Shun nods.

“Very good,” says Captain Ishii. “If that is settled, then, let’s get back to the business of getting this ship ready for battle.” He turns his head and addresses Sugiyura. “Lieutenant, thank you. You saved this hearing from being a much more serious matter.” Sugiyura salutes and departs. Captain Ishii turns back to Shun. “Chief, you are dismissed.” Shun does not move. “Is there anything else, Chief?’

“Sir, there is the matter of my punishment,” says Shun. Ishii sighs.

“Very well, Chief. For assaulting a member of the crew while not executing your rightful duties you are confined to quarters for one week when not on duty. Rice and water.” Shun nods.

“Very good, sir. Thank you.” He salutes and departs. Ishii turns his gaze upon Riku. His expression is not unkind.

“Seaman Ariga,” says the captain, “that was well done. But you must realize that you have more of a chance of carrying this ship on your back to the top of Mount Fuji than you do of ever receiving the blessing you want from the Chief.” Riku nods. “All right. The medics recommend you be given the next couple of days off. Dismissed.”

“Sir,” says Riku, “with your permission I would like to return to work right away.” Lieutenant Miharu, who knows something of Riku’s zeal to avoid work, speaks for the first time.

“Whatever for, Ariga?” he asks. “You really are hurt. You need some rest.”

“Yes sir,” says Riku. “But I will never win the Chief’s approval by taking it easy in my hammock.” Lieutenant Miharu nods.

“I see. Very well, Ariga. Carry on.” Riku salutes and departs. Ishii and Miharu stand up.

“Young love,” says Ishii, shaking his head. “It can move mountains, but I don’t think it has a chance in this case.”

“I don’t know, sir,” says Lieutenant Miharu, “he strikes me as a very determined young man.” Ishii shrugs.

“Well, as long as no one is trying to kill anybody else it isn’t up to us. Let’s get this ship ready to sail.” The two of them depart, leaving the wardroom empty.





kaleun -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 11:31:03 PM)

This gets better and better.
Checklist:
Easy chair: check
Cigars: check
Scoth: check.

OK. Write some more![:D]




tocaff -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 11:42:08 PM)

I'm betting on the Chief getting killed in action, Riku surviving and upon his return to Japan finding the love of his life killed in a B-29 bombing raid.
You could turn one of these AARs into a historical novel and make money at it.  You would of course have to pay your opponent a percentage.




Terminus -> RE: In Drydock (4/28/2007 11:43:37 PM)

He didn't kill him? Aw, shucks...




goodboyladdie -> RE: In Drydock (4/29/2007 12:04:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

He didn't kill him? Aw, shucks...


Don't be so bloodthirsty T. There is hopefully plenty more where that came from. Shun would have incurred the wrath of Milo...




kaleun -> RE: In Drydock (4/29/2007 12:16:25 AM)

quote:

I'm betting on the Chief getting killed in action, Riku surviving and upon his return to Japan finding the love of his life killed in a B-29 bombing raid.


The author is Cuttlefish, not Aesquilus, or Shakespeare!
This is supposed to be an action flick, not Greek tragedy![8|]

The good guy has to get the girl at the end.

Insert Marky's avatar here




Capt. Harlock -> RE: In Drydock (4/29/2007 8:26:56 PM)

quote:

This is supposed to be an action flick, not Greek tragedy!

The good guy has to get the girl at the end.


"Good Guy"?? Riku is a smuggler. When he admitted he was not worthy, he had specific reasons. BTW, the scene in the Captain's quarters was another excellently written part, and an interesting contrast between Japanese attitudes and behavior with American ones.




kaleun -> RE: In Drydock (4/29/2007 10:05:07 PM)

Oh come on! Smugglers are not bad guys[;)]. Only if they smuggle bad things[:D]

(I grew up in NW Spain; we used to smoke exclusively smuggled cigarrettes, rather than the made under license ones)




Onime No Kyo -> RE: In Drydock (4/30/2007 1:17:40 AM)

Hmm...I would have thought the chief would not get off so easily. Perhaps Capt. Ishii is a great humanitarian, but I think he's missing some serrious signs of mental imballance in the chief.




rtrapasso -> RE: In Drydock (4/30/2007 1:41:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kaleun

Oh come on! Smugglers are not bad guys[;)]. Only if they smuggle bad things[:D]



or maybe trade with the enemy???




Onime No Kyo -> RE: In Drydock (4/30/2007 1:51:37 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

quote:

ORIGINAL: kaleun

Oh come on! Smugglers are not bad guys[;)]. Only if they smuggle bad things[:D]



or maybe trade with the enemy???


Well, seeing as how Milo has done more to undermine the Allied war effort than any 10, 000 Japanese, I dont think thats really a negative. [:D]




Cuttlefish -> RE: In Drydock (4/30/2007 7:22:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Capt. Harlock

"Good Guy"?? Riku is a smuggler. When he admitted he was not worthy, he had specific reasons.


I think this is a perceptive comment. We will hear more on this subject later on.


quote:

Original: Onime No Kyo

Hmm...I would have thought the chief would not get off so easily. Perhaps Capt. Ishii is a great humanitarian, but I think he's missing some serrious signs of mental imballance in the chief.


An excellent point. As you will see, you have anticipated the next entry.




Cuttlefish -> RE: In Drydock (4/30/2007 7:24:26 AM)

July 11, 1942

Location: Kobe
Course: None
Attached to: Disbanded in port
Mission: None
System Damage: 1
Float Damage: 0
Fires: 0
Fuel: 475

Orders: Repair the ship and get back in the war.

---

In Captain Ishii’s cabin aboard the Hibiki:

“There is one thing that still concerns me about the whole business,” Lieutenant Miharu says. “From the way Lieutenant Sugiyura described the attack, Shun was completely lost in his fury. He not only did not obey Sugiyura’s orders, he was unaware that any orders had been given, that Sugiyura was even there.” Captain Ishii nods.

“I have always admired Shun as an officer,” continues the lieutenant, “but how do we continue to trust him if we know he is not always completely…stable?”

“I have known Shun for years,” says Ishii. “He is in many ways the finest sailor I have ever known. This aspect of his temper...I have seen it before. Twice.” Lieutenant Miharu’s eyes widen slightly.

“You knew of this,” he says.

“Yes. I did not think it would happen while he was on duty. Shun is a man of iron discipline, and the only other times I have seen it happen were when he was off duty, and most severely provoked.” Lieutenant Miharu shakes his head.

“I hope, sir, that the Chief is not like steel that has now been stressed so far it is damaged. Do you not think this incident might reduce his effectiveness?” Captain Ishii sighs and rubs his eyes with the thumb and forefinger of his right hand. Finally he speaks.

“It is a worry. The incident might reduce his confidence in himself, not to mention the confidence the crew has in him. But I do not think we will see a repeat of what just happened. As with all of us, Shun must battle his demons and carry on. It is all we can do, with the war on.”

Lieutenant Miharu sits in silence for a moment. Then he speaks.

“Yes, you are of course correct. The war changes many things, doesn’t it?”

“It does indeed,” says Captain Ishii.





Cuttlefish -> RE: Back in the War (4/30/2007 7:29:07 AM)

July 12, 1942

Location: Kobe
Course: South, then north by northeast
Attached to: TF 34
Mission: Surface combat
System Damage: 0
Float Damage: 0
Fires: 0
Fuel: 475

Orders: Proceed to Tokyo.

---

Hibiki passes a final inspection and then the repairs to the destroyer are declared complete. Her boilers are relit. The dry dock is flooded and the destroyer is floated off the cradle that has held her for nearly four weeks. She is towed out of dock. Once again her deck plates vibrate as her engines provide power to the screws, and once again she rocks to the rhythm of the sea.

Following orders, she makes rendezvous with destroyer Ariake in the bay. The two lean warships head out to sea, making for Tokyo. Hibiki is back in the war.





Cuttlefish -> RE: Back in the War (4/30/2007 7:30:16 AM)

July 13, 1942

Location: 50 miles south of Tokyo
Course: North
Attached to: TF 34
Mission: Surface combat
System Damage: 0
Float Damage: 0
Fires: 0
Fuel: 432

Orders: Proceed to Tokyo.




princep01 -> RE: In Drydock (4/30/2007 6:09:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

quote:

ORIGINAL: kaleun

Oh come on! Smugglers are not bad guys[;)]. Only if they smuggle bad things[:D]



or maybe trade with the enemy???



What, like the Yankees and Cinfederates did thoughout the US Civil War?

Who knows, maybe Milo Enterprises will somehow obtain the second BOMB and sell it to the Japanese...a "negotiate peace" may then results. Cuttlefish stories take many twists and turns.

Our boy, Riku, is lucky to not be at the bottom of the Inland Sea....held down by a "band" of gold.




Cuttlefish -> RE: Back in the War (5/1/2007 3:47:43 AM)

July 14, 1942

Location: Tokyo
Course: None
Attached to: Disbanded in port
Mission: Surface combat
System Damage: 0
Float Damage: 0
Fires: 0
Fuel: 475

Orders: Escort CV Shokaku to Wake Island.

---

On the bridge of the Hibiki:

Lieutenant Miharu: Welcome back aboard, Captain.

Captain Ishii: Thank you , Exec. Are we refueled?

Lieutenant Miharu: Refueling is complete, sir. We are ready to go…well, wherever we are going next.

Captain Ishii: Wake Island via Marcus. We are going to escort Shokaku there to support the invasion.

Lieutenant Miharu: Ah, the long awaited invasion is finally going to occur?

Captain Ishii: Oh yes. They are loading the transports at Kwajalein right now.

Lieutenant Miharu: Do we depart tomorrow then, sir?

Captain Ishii: No. It will be a few days. Shokaku is still not completely repaired, and they want to keep working on her until the last possible moment. They would not send her at all, but Admiral Yamamoto is concerned that the American carriers might attempt to interfere and he wants to be certain we have the strength there to destroy them completely.

Lieutenant Miharu: So, back to Wake Island. I hope our luck there is better than last time.

Captain Ishii: Don’t worry, Exec. We’re going to be there with half a dozen aircraft carriers and most of the Combined Fleet. If anyone wants to give us trouble we will have many friends about.




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