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pasternakski -> RE: Making History--Is it any better than World at War? (4/4/2007 4:57:22 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ravinhood
everybody knows Trixx are for kids
Aaaah, yes, Ravinhood, like the story from the land of the Trids.
Once upon a time, there was a peaceful land inhabited by people known as the Trids. Their life was serene, bountiful, and undisturbed by presidential elections. The only bane of their existence was a huge giant (who was, apparently, gigantically huge, leading to his being called that, but never mind ...).
Now, this giant would go marauding from time to time, wantonly stomping and smashing all in his way, leaving the towns and farms and sewage treatment plants of the Trids in ruins.
Consequently, the Trids spent an inordinate amount of their time rebuilding and recovering from the damage visited on them by the thoughtless giant (and for those of you who think this is now going to become an Iraq war allegory, you are wrong).
Finally, the Trid elders (Dopey, Sleepy, Doc and the rest) went to the head of the Trid religion, who was known as a "Rabbi" (don't ask me. I didn't write this story, I'm only passing it along).
"Rabbi," they said, "Our lives are misery because of the depredations of this evil giant. You are our spiritual leader. Is there nothing you can do to help us?"
"No," exclaimed the rabbi, "As long as you all keep talking at the same time and using silly words like 'depredations.' But, as I am your spiritual leader (and have a certificate to that effect on the wall in my office), I will seek out the giant and see if I can fashion a solution."
"Thank you," said the elders. "Not only are we grateful, we see that you are an even bigger nincompoop than we. 'Fashion a solution,' indeed."
With that, the rabbi set out with his walking stick and a sack lunch for the high mountains where the giant was said to dwell (don't you just love the little twists J.R.R. Tolkien injected into English, almost without anyone realizing it?).
A small boy stopped the rabbi on his way to ask, "Rabbi, why do you think the giant lives in the mountains?" ""Because," responded the rabbi, "a giant couldn't hide in the flatlands, dumbass."
The rabbi was not known for his manners. In any event, he finally came to a large cave with a sign out front that said, "Beware. Giant inside. He big. He bad. He got game."
Tentatively, the rabbi rapped on the cave entrance with the head of his walking stick. "Mr. Giant," inquired the rabbi, "May I speak to you for a moment?"
A few moments of silence (call it a dramatic pause) were followed by the booming voice of the giant: "Fe Fi Fo Fum ..."
The rabbi interrupted by saying, "Sorry, that's the wrong tale. In this one, I'm here to ask you if you cannot stop stomping and trampling my poor people, the Trids, and leave them in peace."
Emerging from the cave mouth with a disgusted look on his face, the giant said, "Silly rabbi. Kicks are for Trids."
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