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VSWG -> RE: THE THREAD!!! (7/2/2008 10:35:00 PM)
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[:D]
quote:
Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix. The professor
told his class one day, "Today we will experiment with a new form called the
tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one
of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail
your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will
read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and
send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a
third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has
been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. ! There is
to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to
say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a
conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:
Rebecca and Gary.
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THE STORY
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him
too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the
question.
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than
the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had
spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,"
he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No
sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo
bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across
the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes
Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her
newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She
stared out the window, dreaming! of her youth, when the days had passed
unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her
from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
"Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she wondered
wistfully.
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of
its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined
to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the
treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly
initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile ente! red
the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobi le submarine
headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose
attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I
have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F**KING TEA??? Oh no,
what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
Steele novels!"
(Rebecca)
*******.
(Gary)
*****
(Rebecca)
F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!
(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.
(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one.
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