Why do they breed? (Full Version)

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andym -> Why do they breed? (7/13/2008 7:58:18 PM)

England fans stranded in one way street

Two English football fans in Cologne lost their car after mistakenly thinking they had parked it on a road called 'One Way Street'.
The pair wrote down 'Einbahn Strasse' - which means one-way street in German - so they didn't forget where they'd left the hire car.
But when they came to find it again they found that every second street in the inner city was called 'Einbahn Strasse'.

It was only when they found a policeman that they were told the sign was to inform drivers that they were on a one-way street.
They finally managed to find their vehicle hours later with the help of the German police



Are US fans as stupid as this?



Joram -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/13/2008 8:23:05 PM)

That's a funny story.  I'd like to say no but I'm sure you can find plenty of American stories like that too.  :)  

Help, come pick me up I'm on the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk"!!!



pasternakski -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/14/2008 2:01:12 AM)

Where I used to live in the USA, they were big on football (not soccer, the one with the pointy ends on it). Vast numbers of "fans" would show up on a game day to view the spectacle (many of 'em through their spectacles).

One Sunday, some enterprising guys put up some signs and barriers at the busy connection to a dead-end street. "Game Day Parking $5.00," they said. Now, parking on game day in this place usually ran at least twice that, so they had plenty of customers.

Problem was, when these people came back, all the cars were gone. While the local 11 were carrying the noble fight to the dreaded foe, these entrepreneurial types were picking locks, punching ignitions, and driving off to the chop shops where the carcasses could be rendered down and sold for parts.

You'd think this would only happen once or twice before people got the idea, wouldn't you?

At last count, over 1,200 vehicles have disappeared in this vicinity due to this scam...

Go team! Rah rah rah! Let's hear it for cheap parking!

Sports fans. You gotta love 'em. Just ask Robert Duvall in "The Great Santini."



cdbeck -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/14/2008 2:34:47 AM)

Ha! I have one from America.

Apparently, according to the October 28, 2007 Daily Record & Sunday Mail (I found this on the academic search engine Lexis-Nexis, so it is legit) a police lieutenant Bruce Ferguson in Lansing, Michigan was stockpiling Chainsaws in his police department so that his men would be well armed to decapitate... ZOMBIES... in case of a zombie attack.

Crazy... or brilliant?

Actually, according to Max Brooks, The Zombie Survival Guide, Chainsaws, due to their small fuel reserve, weight, and danger level, are very poor weapons to use against zombies. He should instead stock 2-handed Samuria katanas (authentic, not show pieces) and have his men train regularly.

SoM



pasternakski -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/14/2008 3:11:23 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Son_of_Montfort
(I found this on the academic search engine Lexis-Nexis, so it is legit)

Trusting soul, aren't you?



cdbeck -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/14/2008 3:58:47 AM)

Perhaps I should qualify that then, I found it on Lexis-Nexis, so the article did, in fact, appear in a newspaper. Not to speak of the veracity of article itself.

I did check Snopes.com to see if it was an urban legend. Although, a quick google search verifies that there is, indeed, a Lt. Bruce Fergason at the Lansing PD.

You do know what Lexis-Nexus is, right? I would accept articles found off of it in my Freshman papers, so it should be good enough for a laugh. [:'(]

Now my main question is, do you follow me around to post something snide, or is it just my luck you tend to read and respond to my posts... [8D]

SoM



pasternakski -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/14/2008 4:29:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Son_of_Montfort

Perhaps I should qualify that then, I found it on Lexis-Nexis, so the article did, in fact, appear in a newspaper. Not to speak of the veracity of article itself.

I did check Snopes.com to see if it was an urban legend. Although, a quick google search verifies that there is, indeed, a Lt. Bruce Fergason at the Lansing PD.

You do know what Lexis-Nexus is, right? I would accept articles found off of it in my Freshman papers, so it should be good enough for a laugh. [:'(]

Now my main question is, do you follow me around to post something snide, or is it just my luck you tend to read and respond to my posts... [8D]

SoM

Come on, man, I was just making a friendly little attempt at ironic humor. I had no intention to offend, and I certainly do not "follow you around." For one thing, you don't appear to be my type.

Not only am I familiar with Lexis-Nexus, I was one of the people who created it (I've got the credentials. You could look it up. In the late 1980s, I was working in legal publishing, and the various companies pushing to become purveyors of on-line research and information sourcing were among my closest collaborators and toughest competitors). The only reason I said anything about it was that I never trust any electronic source of "information" implicitly, and thought maybe we could get a small chuckle out of it. Honestly, without looking at the original posts, I don't even remember what it was you were referring to.

Again, sorry if I did anything to pierce your thin skin. I'll try to be dead serious in the future - NOT!



donkuchi19 -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/14/2008 4:51:57 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pasternakski

quote:

ORIGINAL: Son_of_Montfort

Perhaps I should qualify that then, I found it on Lexis-Nexis, so the article did, in fact, appear in a newspaper. Not to speak of the veracity of article itself.

I did check Snopes.com to see if it was an urban legend. Although, a quick google search verifies that there is, indeed, a Lt. Bruce Fergason at the Lansing PD.

You do know what Lexis-Nexus is, right? I would accept articles found off of it in my Freshman papers, so it should be good enough for a laugh. [:'(]

Now my main question is, do you follow me around to post something snide, or is it just my luck you tend to read and respond to my posts... [8D]

SoM

Come on, man, I was just making a friendly little attempt at ironic humor. I had no intention to offend, and I certainly do not "follow you around." For one thing, you don't appear to be my type.

Not only am I familiar with Lexis-Nexus, I was one of the people who created it (I've got the credentials. You could look it up. In the late 1980s, I was working in legal publishing, and the various companies pushing to become purveyors of on-line research and information sourcing were among my closest collaborators and toughest competitors). The only reason I said anything about it was that I never trust any electronic source of "information" implicitly, and thought maybe we could get a small chuckle out of it. Honestly, without looking at the original posts, I don't even remember what it was you were referring to.

Again, sorry if I did anything to pierce your thin skin. I'll try to be dead serious in the future - NOT!



I don't know anything about the Lexis-Nexus, but I know that you can trust everything on Wikipedia! [:D][:-]



pasternakski -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/14/2008 5:01:43 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: donkuchi
I don't know anything about the Lexis-Nexus, but I know that you can trust everything on Wikipedia! [:D][:-]

...and anything I had a meager hand in developing ... you know, "I'm always right and I never lie, and now that I've won the election, I am the people."

When I look back on those early days when Al Gore and I were inventing the Internet, I just wonder how it ever really amounted to anything at all....



cdbeck -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/14/2008 5:14:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pasternakski
Not only am I familiar with Lexis-Nexus, I was one of the people who created it (I've got the credentials. You could look it up. In the late 1980s, I was working in legal publishing, and the various companies pushing to become purveyors of on-line research and information sourcing were among my closest collaborators and toughest competitors). The only reason I said anything about it was that I never trust any electronic source of "information" implicitly, and thought maybe we could get a small chuckle out of it. Honestly, without looking at the original posts, I don't even remember what it was you were referring to.


Oh sure, you tell me not to believe anything on the internet and then you tell me you helped create the internet. Like I am going to fall for that one! [:'(]

I did pepper my response with smileys to attempt to show you that I was only tongue-in-cheek "offended."

But for future reference, inferring that a person is naive is typically not a good ironic humor that we both can laugh at. [8D]



pasternakski -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/14/2008 6:10:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Son_of_Montfort
Oh sure, you tell me not to believe anything on the internet and then you tell me you helped create the internet. Like I am going to fall for that one! [:'(]


Hey - Al Gore sold that routine to about half the people who voted for President in 2000, so I thought I'd try it, too.

quote:

I did pepper my response with smileys to attempt to show you that I was only tongue-in-cheek "offended."

Sorry. I guess I lost track of the humor element when you characterized me as a stalker whose posts are "snide." I'll be sure to remember where your tongue is in the future.

quote:

But for future reference, inferring that a person is naive is typically not a good ironic humor that we both can laugh at. [8D]

Okey-dokey. Just don't try to lecture me on the nature of humor, please. I promise to do the same for you.



Doggie -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/15/2008 2:36:03 AM)

My german girlfriend taught me the language. "Gib mir deine ganz weniger schwanz" means "I like that".



alaric99x -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/15/2008 4:06:03 AM)

Your German girlfriend didn't know how to write in German.

"Gib mir dein ganz kleiner Schwanz."



cdbeck -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/15/2008 4:26:58 AM)

Annnyyyhooooow.... a post from me back on the OT.

So, this one is a bit sports related. A girl I was friends with dated this guy who was a big turkey hunter. He had been in the "brush" and was using his turkey call to attract the attention of a wild turkey (not the liquor). After a while he heard a call returned on the other side of the brush, in another area of brush. He continued to call and was regularly answered. So he decided, "time to get this turkey" and fired his birdshot into the brush. He was greeted with a cry of pain from the other side, a human cry of pain. Instead of hitting a turkey, he hit another turkey hunter who happened to be using a turkey call, similar to the one his was using, on the other side of the brush. They had spent a good amount of time answering each other's calls with their manufactured bird calls before one decided to shoot the other.

Luckily, we can laugh about this, because the other hunter was not seriously hurt (oh, he did get some birdshot, but it was not serious).

What makes the story a bit better is, we actually heard the story from someone other than the girl dating the hunter and did not know the identity of the hunters. We were relating this story around the lunch table and the girl's face goes white, her mouth drops open, and she yells "That was my BOYFRIEND!" Priceless...

SoM



pasternakski -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/15/2008 4:58:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: alaric99x

Your German girlfriend didn't know how to write in German.

"Gib mir dein ganz kleiner Schwanz."

Ach, kleiner, weniger, es ist nur alle Deutsche warme Wuerstchen, denke ich ...



pasternakski -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/15/2008 5:01:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Son_of_Montfort
Instead of hitting a turkey, he hit another turkey hunter

SoM



Ha! Great story!

This is why moose hunters in Minnesota wear orange coveralls - you don't want to be mistaken for a moose by any of that bunch of drunken, trigger-happy imbeciles...



Grell -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/15/2008 12:15:20 PM)

Good stuff Andy! [:)]

Regards,

Greg



Twotribes -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/15/2008 1:26:59 PM)

One of my Step fathers took me hunting with a friend of his in the dead of winter. They proceeded to get so **** face drunk they could barely walk and then couldn't start the Jeep. I walked home when it escalated into them threatening each other over the car not starting. The house was like a half mile way. Several hours later they managed to find the house.



Jeffrey H. -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/16/2008 2:00:58 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Son_of_Montfort

Ha! I have one from America.

Apparently, according to the October 28, 2007 Daily Record & Sunday Mail (I found this on the academic search engine Lexis-Nexis, so it is legit) a police lieutenant Bruce Ferguson in Lansing, Michigan was stockpiling Chainsaws in his police department so that his men would be well armed to decapitate... ZOMBIES... in case of a zombie attack.

Crazy... or brilliant?

Actually, according to Max Brooks, The Zombie Survival Guide, Chainsaws, due to their small fuel reserve, weight, and danger level, are very poor weapons to use against zombies. He should instead stock 2-handed Samuria katanas (authentic, not show pieces) and have his men train regularly.

SoM



Blades don't need reloading......




105mm Howitzer -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/16/2008 2:25:19 PM)

Does this qualify ? In our downtown core, we actually have signs in French telling motorists it's ok to turn left on the flashing green light...( and these people actually issue out driving permits ?)



cdbeck -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/17/2008 5:57:24 AM)

quote:



Blades don't need reloading......




But Chainsaws need refueling and are useless without gas. That is why I said that he should pick up some katanas (which are blades [;)]).

105mm Howitzer, this is easily explainable. The English speaking Quebecois are trying to kill off those pesky French speakers that cause all that political trouble. [:D]

SoM



pasternakski -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/17/2008 7:55:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Son_of_Montfort
But Chainsaws need refueling and are useless without gas.

You could buy an electric one with a long extension cord...

quote:

The English speaking Quebecois are trying to kill off those pesky French speakers that cause all that political trouble. [:D]

SoM

Monsieur, s'il vous plait. We born on Bastille Day would never cause any political trouble. At least, not after there are no more English-speaking Quebecois, non?



105mm Howitzer -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/17/2008 1:08:21 PM)

...And the Battle of Quebec is on again, and like last time, nobody cared.[;)]
ps: Vive le France.[sm=sign0003.gif]



cdbeck -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/17/2008 6:47:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pasternakski

quote:

ORIGINAL: Son_of_Montfort
But Chainsaws need refueling and are useless without gas.

You could buy an electric one with a long extension cord...




Two words, Nuclear Chainsaw. Just think about it.

This discussion reminds me of the movie Canadian Bacon. Particularly this part.

SoM



noxious -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/17/2008 6:56:56 PM)

quote:


This discussion reminds me of the movie Canadian Bacon. Particularly this part.


ROFL !! Classic. Funny, 'cause it's nearly true.... (I'm allowed to say it : both a Canuck and a "wine drinker", lol)



HansBolter -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/17/2008 7:14:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pasternakski

Where I used to live in the USA, they were big on football (not soccer, the one with the pointy ends on it). Vast numbers of "fans" would show up on a game day to view the spectacle (many of 'em through their spectacles).

One Sunday, some enterprising guys put up some signs and barriers at the busy connection to a dead-end street. "Game Day Parking $5.00," they said. Now, parking on game day in this place usually ran at least twice that, so they had plenty of customers.

Problem was, when these people came back, all the cars were gone. While the local 11 were carrying the noble fight to the dreaded foe, these entrepreneurial types were picking locks, punching ignitions, and driving off to the chop shops where the carcasses could be rendered down and sold for parts.

You'd think this would only happen once or twice before people got the idea, wouldn't you?

At last count, over 1,200 vehicles have disappeared in this vicinity due to this scam...

Go team! Rah rah rah! Let's hear it for cheap parking!

Sports fans. You gotta love 'em. Just ask Robert Duvall in "The Great Santini."


This may show the fans to be gullible, but what should REALLY be considered here is how amazingly incompetent the local police truly must be for failing to set up a counter sting to catch them in the act on the 4th or 5th or Nth time they pulled it!!!!!!



pasternakski -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/17/2008 8:15:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: HansBolter
This may show the fans to be gullible, but what should REALLY be considered here is how amazingly incompetent the local police truly must be for failing to set up a counter sting to catch them in the act on the 4th or 5th or Nth time they pulled it!!!!!!


Big city cops. A couple of yards under the table. You see where I'm going with this, no doubt...



Arctic Blast -> RE: Why do they breed? (7/18/2008 12:31:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Son_of_Montfort


quote:

ORIGINAL: pasternakski

quote:

ORIGINAL: Son_of_Montfort
But Chainsaws need refueling and are useless without gas.

You could buy an electric one with a long extension cord...




Two words, Nuclear Chainsaw. Just think about it.

This discussion reminds me of the movie Canadian Bacon. Particularly this part.

SoM


Ha! I hadn't seen that in awhile...very funny scene. [:D]



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