Simpleton Tip #14 (Full Version)

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WhiteRook -> Simpleton Tip #14 (4/29/2002 9:47:51 AM)

Never stand in front of a Crocodile unless wearing Flame - Retard'ant Underwear! :eek:




panda124c -> Re: Simpleton Tip #12 (4/29/2002 7:38:38 PM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Goblin
[B]If you want to destroy your enemy, do not place smoke between you and he before you fire.

Goblin- A Goblin is without thermal imaging

Hey?!? I'm stuck! I stepped in glue or something! I don't even know what I did.:confused: Sorry about the sticky, guys and gals, but I'm not sure whats up.

Goblin- A Goblin is epoxied [/B][/QUOTE]

A Goblin for a Goblin.




Larry Holt -> Re: Simpleton Tip #14 (4/29/2002 8:42:22 PM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by WhiteRook
[B]Never stand in front of a Crocodile unless wearing Flame - Retard'ant Underwear! :eek: [/B][/QUOTE]
Unless the croc is out of shots/ammo. Where you counting? To tell the truth in all the excitement I kind of lost track myself. So, you gotta ask yourself, "Do you feel lucky?"




Bernie -> Re: Re: Simpleton Tip #12 (4/30/2002 3:03:29 AM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by pbear
[B]

A Goblin for a Goblin. [/B][/QUOTE]

Hey! That's pretty good! He's gonna love it. :)

Tried making an avatar out of it for him but it loses too much detail. Just looks like a fat blob sitting on concrete...




Goblin -> Re: Re: Simpleton Tip #12 (4/30/2002 3:46:50 AM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by pbear
[B]

A Goblin for a Goblin. [/B][/QUOTE]

That was pretty cool, pbear, thanks!:)

Goblin- A Goblin can dogfight




Goblin -> Simpleton Tip #15 (4/30/2002 3:52:23 AM)

Never go to battle without clean undies on. You never know if a medic will see them or not.:( :)

Goblin- A Goblin is sanitary




mogami -> Waste of time (4/30/2002 3:56:07 AM)

Hi, every one knows clean skivies are a waste of time. Cause once the fight starts its....first you say it and then you do it.




Goblin -> (4/30/2002 4:16:04 AM)

:D

Goblin- A Goblin wears 'Depends'.




Bernie -> Simpleton Tip #16 (4/30/2002 4:00:54 PM)

Pilots are busy people. Too busy to bother reading recognition cards. They operate by a very simple code then:

Tanks are bad. Kill the tanks.

If it moves on the ground and doesn't have legs, it's a tank.

If it does have legs, it might be a tank in disguise.

If it doesn't move it might be a tank playing possum.

Sometimes, very briefly, pilots think about [I]their[/I] tanks and [I]our[/I] tanks, but they've never seen one at the base so all tanks must then be [I]their[/I] tanks. Kill all the tanks.


With this in mind, think twice before you call in that strike element. Maybe even think about exiting all of your units from the map before calling that strike element. If you [I]have[/I] to call that strike element anyway, and you can't exit all your units off the map beforehand, issue orders for all your forces to assume their pre-arranged "strike element" positions. From the air those positions look like this:

[B][SIZE=4]ENEMY ---->[/SIZE][/B]

Hopefully the pilots will see this and not hit the "bomb" button while they try to take pictures of it before going to bomb some other poor friendly unit.




panda124c -> Re: Simpleton Tip #16 (4/30/2002 6:54:12 PM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Bernie
[B]Pilots are busy people. Too busy to bother reading recognition cards. They operate by a very simple code then:

Tanks are bad. Kill the tanks.

If it moves on the ground and doesn't have legs, it's a tank.

If it does have legs, it might be a tank in disguise.

If it doesn't move it might be a tank playing possum.

Sometimes, very briefly, pilots think about [I]their[/I] tanks and [I]our[/I] tanks, but they've never seen one at the base so all tanks must then be [I]their[/I] tanks. Kill all the tanks.


With this in mind, think twice before you call in that strike element. Maybe even think about exiting all of your units from the map before calling that strike element. If you [I]have[/I] to call that strike element anyway, and you can't exit all your units off the map beforehand, issue orders for all your forces to assume their pre-arranged "strike element" positions. From the air those positions look like this:

[B][SIZE=4]ENEMY ---->[/SIZE][/B]

Hopefully the pilots will see this and not hit the "bomb" button while they try to take pictures of it before going to bomb some other poor friendly unit. [/B][/QUOTE]

You know it just not fair, our planes bomb the enemy’s tanks and our tanks and the enemy has all the advantages, he gets to shoot back. How about loosening up on the fire discipline and let my troops shoot back at my aircraft. You know, just to let them fly boys know they are doing me wrong. :D




Goblin -> Simpleton Tip #17 (4/30/2002 9:25:20 PM)

Killing the enemy HQ is a good thing! Having your HQ killed is a bad thing. Protect you HQ, hunt his HQ.

Goblin- A Goblin collects shrunken heads:mad:




Dan Bozza -> (5/1/2002 1:52:35 AM)

Buildings eat AFV's for breakfast, lunch and dinner. AFV's are drawn to buildings like a moth to a flame. Move 1 hex at a time when a building is near!




mogami -> Buildings (5/1/2002 5:51:25 AM)

Buildings that have enemy units in them are really fun to drive into. Just make sure you have a big tank. Then your infantry can follow and clean up. (my last AI battle I drove through building all day without immoblizing a single tank)




Capt Chris -> (5/1/2002 11:08:00 PM)

Don't pee into the wind.




Larry Holt -> (5/2/2002 12:00:20 AM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Dan Bozza
[B]Buildings eat AFV's for breakfast, lunch and dinner. AFV's are drawn to buildings like a moth to a flame. Move 1 hex at a time when a building is near! [/B][/QUOTE]
Since 7.1 AFVs are rarely immobilized. Try it, its fun!




panda124c -> Re: Buildings (5/2/2002 12:59:47 AM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Mogami
[B]Buildings that have enemy units in them are really fun to drive into. Just make sure you have a big tank. Then your infantry can follow and clean up. (my last AI battle I drove through building all day without immoblizing a single tank) [/B][/QUOTE]

I like using those big 150mm guns for buildings, a lot easier on the tracks. :D




Dan Bozza -> (5/2/2002 3:29:10 AM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Larry Holt
[B]
Since 7.1 AFVs are rarely immobilized. Try it, its fun! [/B][/QUOTE]

Sure, and Lucy will hold the football for Charlie Brown. You can't make me do it!! :D




Goblin -> Simpleton Tip #18 (5/2/2002 4:28:56 AM)

You will hear a veteran soldier yell 'INCOMING!!' when the enemy begins to shell your position. That same soldier will yell 'SH#T, NOT AGAIN!!' when a friendly aircraft approaches.

Goblin- A Goblin avoids airports




Bernie -> Re: Simpleton Tip #18 (5/2/2002 6:15:17 AM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Goblin
[B]You will hear a veteran soldier yell 'INCOMING!!' when the enemy begins to shell your position. That same soldier will yell 'SH#T, NOT AGAIN!!' when a friendly aircraft approaches.

Goblin- A Goblin avoids airports [/B][/QUOTE]

Also, when friendly artillery begins he will usually yell both.




Bernie -> Simpleton Tip #19 (5/2/2002 6:28:52 AM)

As an infantry squad you have the option to ALT-M (melee). This does not work against tanks. You just break your knuckles.

As a tank, you have the option to ALT-O (overrun). This results in gun barrel swordfights. Occasionally, two tanks that have been gun barrel swordfighting will bend their barrels around each other in such a way that they can not seperate on thier own. Throwing napalm on them usually works to seperate them.




Goblin -> Re: Simpleton Tip #19 (5/2/2002 6:36:38 AM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Bernie
[B] Occasionally, two tanks that have been gun barrel swordfighting will bend their barrels around each other in such a way that they can not seperate on thier own. Throwing napalm on them usually works to seperate them. [/B][/QUOTE]

Leave the lovebirds be. I've seen elephants do the same thing on Discovery. He's not hurting her, Bernie.;) :)

Goblin- A Goblin weeps at chick-flicks




rbrunsman -> (5/2/2002 6:53:01 AM)

Goblins are funny!




Stahlhelm -> Combat advice (5/2/2002 3:06:08 PM)

One of my favourites is
"Never share a foxhole with anyone who's braver than you are"

You guys are a riot




Goblin -> Simpleton Tip #20 (5/3/2002 5:31:39 AM)

For you Scots-

Kilts and flame weapons: Not a good idea.

Goblin- A Goblin feels a breeze?




Bernie -> Re: Simpleton Tip #20 (5/3/2002 7:36:04 AM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Goblin
[B]For you Scots-

Kilts and flame weapons: Not a good idea.

Goblin- A Goblin feels a breeze? [/B][/QUOTE]

Bagpipes however, will cause instant 100% suppresion to all troops. Warning, do not attempt to use bagpipes in any Indian or North African battle as they are suspected of attracting very aggressive bull elephants.




Goblin -> (5/3/2002 8:05:03 AM)

Lay off the pipes, man.:mad:

Goblin- A Goblin likes the pipes




Goblin -> Simpleton Tip #21 (5/4/2002 7:19:22 AM)

For the Japanese-

Katana's? Are you serious? Bring a rifle and grenades instead.

Goblin- A Goblin advises against the Cuisinart




Bernie -> Simpleton Tip #22 (5/4/2002 3:55:01 PM)

If you run out of ammo in a desperate situation try to get the enemy laughing by telling him jokes. The more the better. Keep telling them until he's laughing so hard his eyes are watering (equivalent to suppression :80) then club him to death with your empty rifle.




Goblin -> Simpleton Tip #23 (5/5/2002 5:54:50 AM)

When fighting in the desert, do not forget your SPF90. The sun is your number one danger!

Goblin- A Goblin forgot the Afrika Corp




Goblin -> Simpleton Tip #24 (5/6/2002 4:48:46 AM)

To guarantee the arrival of your Special Ops troops, place their infiltration hexes nowhere near where you will actually need them. If you put them where you need them (i.e. in a dangerous spot), your troops will not show up.

Goblin- A Goblin keeps checking his watch




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