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elanaahova -> RE: the story of the pan-sentient war of liberation (1/23/2011 10:21:49 PM)
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AAR> Sol Federation of Sentient Worlds United
Beginnings: A Rocky First Contact, Part II
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Accessing domain: “Sol Federation of Sentient Worlds United” Archives.
Audio “yes” accepted.
Accessing … “Wiki-lacticia Data link archive...
“ United Nations Spaceship 001, 'The Shanghai,' Capt. Hu Maxo, Commander, Bridge, Date-stamp = "First Contact..."
...auto feed? Audio “yes” accepted.
Accessing Tri-vid, auto play activated...
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Your recording will begin shortly.....
Tri-vid begins displaying feed from recorders on bridge of UNS The Shanghai.
Main viewer on bridge shows images of UN Security Council debating nuclear strike. Audio transmits angry sounding voices in several languages. Lt. Pierrot gestures wildly, and says: “Lads, this is just awful. The bloody suits are really going to blow earth back to the stone age.”
Suddenly, the viewer image goes dark, and the audio feed transmits silence.
“OMG... did the bombs go off?
Captain Maxo says, quite sternly, “Lieutenant, man your post. This is no time …” His voice fades as a loud, reverberating “chirp--click--clk-clk – exhale, clk” throbs from all the audio cons on the bridge.
“Captain...”
Main view screen shows a very large space ship of non human design taking orbit adjacent to the Shanghai. It matches speed exactly, with inhuman precision, to within 8 feet of the Shanghai. “Its reading about eight times our mass.”
“Quiet...”
“chirp--click--clk-clk – exhale, clk” again sounds from the com, as the main viewer fills with the image of a rather large tyrannosaurus head, sporting the obligatory multiple rows of sharp, pointy teeth. Glowing red yes pierce the distance between the viewer and the crew.
“Oh, crap.... “
“Get the translation mods on line.“ Capt Maxo orders, .. “now..”
The chirping continues from all the speakers on the bridge.
“How are they accessing our internal speakers?” The Captain asks.
“Sir,” the Com officer reports, “they're accessing all our ship's systems.”
The chirping is replaced with a somewhat metallic sounding voice, saying in English,
“Solarians, we come long far away, you all to say...”
“What?” Capt Maxo gulps. The Com officer just shrugs her shoulders...
“Solarians, understand me, I you do?
“Yes, yes, we understand you, I think,” Capt Maxo stated with a flat calm that belied what had surely must have a most difficult effort to keep his underwear clean.
“Solarians, good, yes? Understand I you do. I am called “chirp--click--clk-clk – exhale, clk. Difficult for ape mouths, is it? How you called are?”
“Dino.. err , Nix, I am Capt Maxo, and I am in charge of this ship.”
“You speaker for your people are?”
“Yes.”
Metallic voice continues: “Good it is. We come way far a way to offer you deal.” Refuse deal you not? Join our league, you will? We give you way to travel to other worlds...
Yes, engine for ships to go above light, travel shields, too, and our league you join, yes, Solarians.”
“Mr. Nix,” Captain Maxo says, “I'm sorry, with all respect, I cannot speak for all humans.”
Nix said: “OK for now, you agree to league?”
“But I am only captain of this ship, not our whole planet.”
Silence....
Metallic voice from com: “I must conference...”
silence
First mate says, with a voice blustering with false bravado, “See I told you birds are descended from raptors, just look at the teeth on it....”
“chirp--click--clk-clk – exhale, clk” We, I sorry, Interplanetary League Charter very precise, you designated, you speak for Solarians, or league protocols not followed, and we do other things.
The first mate whispers into the captain's ear” “That sounds like a threat, if I ever heard one...”
“Ok, Ok, I will do my best,” the Captain replies nervously.
He continues, “Lieutenant, you sending this all to earth?
“Churp..” Not necessary, Capt Maxo, we already transmitting all to everyone in Solarian system. All see, is protocol for Interplanetary League...”
“We go, or Solarians join League?”
Captain replies slowly: “If we join, we get engines to move ships through space fast like your ship? And shields to protect ship from space junk?”
“Oh, yes, how can you else participate in League? You must sometimes come to distant worlds other, maybe even my home world. Nice, yes, offer you cannot refuse?”
“Any other conditions? “
“chirp--click--clk-clk – exhale, clk”... static, yes, only other protocol of Interplanetary League is that Nuclear weapons not allow on planets be. They must be on space ships or bases orbiting planet. Never on planets.”
“OK, OK, I agree. We join your interplanetary league. You will give us engine?”
“Yes, and we help you get rid of nuclear weapons on planet. Compliance mandatory. Our satellites have seen all weapons and gophers fetching them all, are. They will be placed on what you call, 'the moon.' Will be done in less that one half turn of your planet. We sending plans for hyper dive to all solarians. Also copy of League Charter.”
“Sir Nix, .. I .. er.. don't know what to say.”
“We like to invite your crew over for dinner...
“Click, shirp <translator voice: “This is Nixillian laughter”>
“Err, Mr. Nix, I do not understand the humor, please ..”
“Oh, is joke, we know we ferocious look, and we jokes about eating solarians for dinner.. but is joke, we have nice brazed bovine with leroms sauce. Very special occasion. Party... yes.”
“When would you like us to come over.”
“One hour? “
“Yes.”
“It is our custom to bring a bottle of refreshment when we are invited to … dine with new friends Is our alcohol OK with your body chemistry.”
“Wine, or Vodka? Oh, yes.. we are, acquainted with alcohol.”
Main viewer returns to view of exterior of ship,. One very large non human ship dominates the view.
“Anything from earth side, yet?” the captain asks.
“No, sir, at our distance, well, it will be a very long time... days.”
“What a pickle to be in.... speaking for the whole human race, and I don't have authority.”
“You didn't have a choice, Captain,” the first mate says, “They appointed you...”
“Sir, whatever you chose, someone would be upset. Tell them to go away, and your head would roll. Accept the deal, and a whole universe opens to us.”
“Sir, I'm receiving images from earth. Don't know how, it's real time, no delay... Nix must be sending his feed to us.”
“Main viewer...” Captain says.
The viewer shows little crafts with claw like mechanical arms zipping back and forth between the earth and the moon. “Gophers he called them, remember?” the com officers almost whispers. The gophers were grabbing every nuclear bomb, missile, etc, from earth, and flying them to the moon. Placing them in neat piles, and then zipping back to earth for more. The piles grew bigger. Obviously there were more nukes than anybody had admitted to.
Then the gophers flew back to the orbiting satellites, and nestled against their shiny metallic frames.
“Capt, its done. We have a home to return to, if they don't court marshal us.”
Captain replies; “I'm the only one in trouble. I am responsible, not any of you.. so relax, do your jobs.”
“Captain, they don't usually court marshal ambassadors, and that's what you are now.”
“True,” Lieutenant, “true, and just a few moments ago I was fancying myself as emperor of all humanity.”
Com officer: “Capt, you might want to look at this.”
“What is it?”
“Transmission from the Dino.. err Nixians.. its a document. Looks like a contract.”
“Transfer copies to all the bridge stations”, the Captain intones. “We all need to take a good look at this.”
silence.
“OMG! We are all in deep...” the Lieutenant's words are cut off..
“Yes..”
“Well click-clack to us all.”
“Sir, they deceived us. Really tricked us. Such deception.”
“Lieutenant, get a grip, sit rep, now!” commanded the Captain. We can still defend earth. The nukes are on the moon, easy enough to retrive.”
Its not that, Captain, they, they, well.. have no authority!”
“What do you mean, explain yourself.”
It's not a government. The Interplanetary League is not a government. Its not even a military alliance. We just joined the Interplanetary League... humanity … we just gave up all our nukes, for what? ...we
just joined a frakkan sports league.”
“Nixians must have big stones to even try and pull this off.”
The main viewer immediately light up...”actually, Capt Maxo,” the metallic translation of the dinosaur's click-clack birdsong intoned, “we have two big stones. They are required for playing the game. League rules, you understand. Come on over, dinner is almost ready. Don't forget the vodka. We have to discuss our joint strategy to get our new human team into the playoffs.”
Accessing … “Wiki-lacticia Data link archive...
“ United Nations Spaceship 001, 'The Shanghai,' Capt. Hu Maxo, Commander, Bridge, Date-stamp = "First Contact..."
Tri-vid ends. Do you wish to select another record?
Audio “yes” accepted.
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Accessing domain: “Sol Federation of Sentient Worlds United” Archives.
Accessing … “Wiki-lacticia Data link archive...
“ Sol Federation of Nations, High Council Military Strategy Forum, executive summary version,” date stamp = "1/28/01FC <First Contact>
...auto feed? Audio “yes” accepted.
Accessing Tri-vid, auto play activated...
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