Otto von Blotto -> RE: Who started World War I? (2/8/2014 4:40:28 PM)
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Think I will let Richard Curtis and Ben Elton go for me on this. [;)] Private Baldrick: No, the thing is: The way I see it, these days there's a war on, right? and, ages ago, there wasn't a war on, right? So, there must have been a moment when there not being a war on went away, right? and there being a war on came along. So, what I want to know is: How did we get from the one case of affairs to the other case of affairs? Captain Blackadder: Do you mean "How did the war start?" Lieutenant George: The war started because of the vile Hun and his villainous empire- building. Captain Blackadder: George, the British Empire at present covers a quarter of the globe, while the German Empire consists of a small sausage factory in Tanganiki. I hardly think that we can be entirely absolved of blame on the imperialistic front. Lieutenant George: Oh, no, sir, absolutely not. [aside, to Baldrick] Lieutenant George: Mad as a bicycle! Private Baldrick: I heard that it started when a bloke called Archie Duke shot an ostrich 'cause he was hungry. Captain Blackadder: I think you mean it started when the Archduke of Austro-Hungary got shot. Private Baldrick: Nah, there was definitely an ostrich involved, sir. Captain Blackadder: Well, possibly. But the real reason for the whole thing was that it was too much effort not to have a war. Lieutenant George: By Gum, this is interesting. I always loved history. The Battle of Hastings, Henry VIII and his six knives, all that. Captain Blackadder: You see, Baldrick, in order to prevent war in Europe, two superblocs developed: us, the French and the Russians on one side, and the Germans and Austro-Hungary on the other. The idea was to have two vast opposing armies, each acting as the other's deterrent. That way there could never be a war. Private Baldrick: But, this is a sort of a war, isn't it, sir? Captain Blackadder: Yes, that's right. You see, there was a tiny flaw in the plan. Private Baldrick: What was that, sir? Captain Blackadder: It was bollocks. Private Baldrick: So the poor old ostrich died for nothing then.
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