RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (Full Version)

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Cap Mandrake -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/10/2019 11:09:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

But never EVER order the fish tacos there.


Hory crap! Actuarry advice is nevah evah ordah fish tacos at this pranet. Sushi not-ah fresh.



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/10/2019 11:10:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

I hear the costumes were really flimsy and held together with tape. Not that I'm complaining...

[image]local://upfiles/34241/1E200BF6D5D74F67B37BD7F54A6DCC6E.jpg[/image]


First one originarh version of "shagging carpet". Hahaha.



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/10/2019 11:12:33 PM)

"Damnit Jim-san. Bones-san fright surgeon not-ah gynecorogist!"



BBfanboy -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/10/2019 11:28:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

"Damnit Jim-san. Bones-san fright surgeon not-ah gynecorogist!"

But Bones-san do urorogy for mare crew, no? (nickname dead-ah giveaway).



RangerJoe -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/11/2019 12:14:18 AM)

Bones-san do short ahrm inspections . . .



BBfanboy -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/11/2019 12:27:26 AM)

BB-san rike this arien, but she keep wrinkring nose at him - even after he bathe and gargre mouthwash, so he nevah meet her ...[:(]



[image]local://upfiles/35791/6EEDD8DC44ED4EC3AADDDAE0DAA2CA55.jpg[/image]



BBfanboy -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/11/2019 12:30:16 AM)

Then BB-san go to bahr on Tattooine and see even bettah arien, but when he approach she pinch neck and BB-san black out - before drinks even! She gone when wake up. [:(][:(]

[image]local://upfiles/35791/192AC4DA691B4E39BD616993329AAFDD.jpg[/image]



MakeeLearn -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/11/2019 12:55:46 AM)

Captain Kirk: Sometimes a feeling is all we humans have to go on.

[image]local://upfiles/55056/D2B6A27D300E41BB855806AD511CBB6A.jpg[/image]



Zorch -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/11/2019 1:41:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Fourth one is from the planet of the Cosmic Order of the Camel Toe. Not a bad place from what I hear. locals are friendly.

You got that right.

[image]local://upfiles/34241/9B4A4857A82C486586A9F11AE61DF495.jpg[/image]



Zorch -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/11/2019 1:42:29 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Fourth one is from the planet of the Cosmic Order of the Camel Toe. Not a bad place from what I hear. locals are friendly.

You got that right.

[image]local://upfiles/34241/9B4A4857A82C486586A9F11AE61DF495.jpg[/image]



[image]local://upfiles/34241/5B570C970F484C5C9EE8909809671D65.jpg[/image]



Bif1961 -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/11/2019 8:46:32 AM)

She has very big and nice globes and of course I am speaking of the earrings.



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/11/2019 12:25:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MakeeLearn

Captain Kirk: Sometimes a feeling is all we humans have to go on.

[image]local://upfiles/55056/D2B6A27D300E41BB855806AD511CBB6A.jpg[/image]





Cpt. Kirk-san: Captians Log, Stardate, 215417. Getting ready to deliver the DiLithium crystal power shaft to Plant Studio 54 but the crew keeps snickering.



zuluhour -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/11/2019 4:41:50 PM)

pretty ariens womans

[image]local://upfiles/37319/72CE6F2120CA401994FC7A91DDD1671A.jpg[/image]



Zorch -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/11/2019 5:13:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: MakeeLearn

Captain Kirk: Sometimes a feeling is all we humans have to go on.

[image]local://upfiles/55056/D2B6A27D300E41BB855806AD511CBB6A.jpg[/image]





Cpt. Kirk-san: Captians Log, Stardate, 215417. Getting ready to deliver the DiLithium crystal power shaft to Plant Studio 54 but the crew keeps snickering.

Why doesn't the Enterprise carry spare dilithium crystals? Probably some bureaucrat's fault.



BBfanboy -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/11/2019 5:45:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: MakeeLearn

Captain Kirk: Sometimes a feeling is all we humans have to go on.

[image]local://upfiles/55056/D2B6A27D300E41BB855806AD511CBB6A.jpg[/image]



Cpt. Kirk-san: Captians Log, Stardate, 215417. Getting ready to deliver the DiLithium crystal power shaft to Plant Studio 54 but the crew keeps snickering.


Why doesn't the Enterprise carry spare dilithium crystals? Probably some bureaucrat's fault.


Female crew members keep stealing them for their bedside table ...



... because of the light-emitting properties, guys!



Chickenboy -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/14/2019 4:10:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Yes, not sure what happened to Admiral Lord SPrior. If anyone has his Portsmouth street address PM me please.


So sorry no checkey in more recentry.

Admirar Rord Sprior 'arive and werr' and posting in Facebook-ah. Cap want Chickenboy-san to PM him for address?



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/14/2019 5:08:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Yes, not sure what happened to Admiral Lord SPrior. If anyone has his Portsmouth street address PM me please.


So sorry no checkey in more recentry.

Admirar Rord Sprior 'arive and werr' and posting in Facebook-ah. Cap want Chickenboy-san to PM him for address?


No, should have rooked on Facebook. Have to find Korea-mens to find out password again.



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/14/2019 5:09:14 PM)

Facebook send Mandarake-san friend request...about 90% womans. Someone try get Mandarake-san in trouburh



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Negotiator (3/17/2019 2:48:27 PM)

******************Small open-walled tent, Tern Island, French Frigate Shoals*************


Goofy-rooking Japan-mens with thick grasses: Harro, Mistah Hurr, I am Aran Hata, acting Junior Minister of Economy, Empire Japan <extends hand>

Preposterousry Rich-rooking white-mens: It's pronounced HULL, with two "l's". Cordell Hull, Secretary of State the United States of America.

Goofy-rooking Japan-mens with thick grasses: HAI That-ah what Hata-san say Corderr Hurr.

Preposterousry Rich-rooking white-mens: Ah, never mind. Mister Hata would you like some lemonade?

Goofy-rooking Jaoan-mens with thick grasses: Ahhhhh! Remonade! Hata-san not-ah have remonade in rong time. Not since Japan-mens capture Raffurs Hoterh in Singapores.

Preposterousry Rich-rooking white-mens: Orderly, please give Mistah Hata some...REMONADE. See there, who said we needed a translator? <there is a murmur of laughter>. Mister Hata, I imagine you have deduced why we invited here.

Goofy-rooking Jaoan-mens with thick grasses: Not for remonade? <Japan-mens deregation raugh a rittah bit..not-ah too much because USMC guards arr have arms rike 100 year ord cherry tree and not-ah very friendarry rooking>

Preposterousry Rich-rooking white-mens: No, Mister Hata, not for the lemonade. Look, Mister Hata, I'll be frank. As you have seen fit to pick a fight with the Russians, Mister Roosevelt and Mister Churchill are worried they will occupy Japan before we can and I don't imagine that will be an appealing notion for you.

Goofy-rooking Japan-mens with thick grasses: HAI! Actuarry, whorhe idea of any othah races occupy Japans not-ah very popurar, but Hata-san understand Mistah Corderr point. Rook, just rike anywhere erse, there opposing groups in Empire Japan. Hata-san be frank. Rot of Generarhs worry about bushido thing but-ah even worse than that there probarem of wah crimes.

Preposterousry Rich-rooking white-mens: Yes. We anticipated that but the public is very angry. After all, you stupid bastards started the whole thing. They will want blood. We have retained a private firm to negotiate reduced sentences for all but the worst offenders. As we are a capitalist country it is fee-based, of course.

Goofy-rooking Japan-mens with thick grasses: HAI! Hata-san understand. What-ah about Emperor?

Preposterousry Rich-rooking white-mens: The Emperor can stay but he can't wear shoe lifts and he has to salute the American flag on 4th of July.

Goofy-rooking Jaoan-mens with thick grasses: Hory crap! Shoe rift demand very severes but Hata-san try. Hata-san onry have one request for serf.

Preposterousry Rich-rooking white-mens: We anticipated that as well. <laughter>

Goofy-rooking Japan-mens with thick grasses: <smires srightarry> Hata-san request excrusive rights to import dried noodurh soup to America.

Preposterousry Rich-rooking white-mens: DONE! But Hata-san, I've got to tell you. Nobody is going to eat that horse ****!



RangerJoe -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Negotiator (3/17/2019 4:56:58 PM)

Actually, that would be export dried noodurh soup and Ramen noodles were invented after the war. You also forgot the funny grasses on the white-mens which had no side pieces.



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Negotiator (3/17/2019 5:03:29 PM)

This-ah WWII(d). mandarake-san have to exprain everything?



RangerJoe -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Negotiator (3/17/2019 5:21:22 PM)

Yes, you do. But my mistake on the Ramen, I was referring to the instant Ramen invented by Ando. (May he Rest In Peace.)

quote:

In 1958, instant noodles were invented by Momofuku Ando, the Chinese-Japanese founder and chairman of Nissin Foods.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramen



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Negotiator (3/17/2019 8:28:02 PM)

"Momofuku" very diffcurt name in US.


Schooryard burries: Hey kid! What's your name? Slanty?

Momofuku: No, Momofuku!

Schooryard burries: GET HIM!



Zorch -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Negotiator (3/17/2019 8:35:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

******************Small open-walled tent, Tern Island, French Frigate Shoals*************

Preposterousry Rich-rooking white-mens: Yes. We anticipated that but the public is very angry. After all, you stupid bastards started the whole thing. They will want blood. We have retained a private firm to negotiate reduced sentences for all but the worst offenders. As we are a capitalist country it is fee-based, of course.



[image]local://upfiles/34241/54F1CF809FAF4F278086B40BC2580BF0.jpg[/image]



Chickenboy -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Negotiator (3/19/2019 3:39:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

******************Small open-walled tent, Tern Island, French Frigate Shoals*************

Preposterousry Rich-rooking white-mens: Yes. We anticipated that but the public is very angry. After all, you stupid bastards started the whole thing. They will want blood. We have retained a private firm to negotiate reduced sentences for all but the worst offenders. As we are a capitalist country it is fee-based, of course.



[image]local://upfiles/34241/54F1CF809FAF4F278086B40BC2580BF0.jpg[/image]


Hai! That-ah the one! Chickenboy-san have 20% ownahship stake. So do othah 12 originah investahs! We-ah make mirrions!



Zorch -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Negotiator (3/19/2019 6:06:03 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

******************Small open-walled tent, Tern Island, French Frigate Shoals*************

Preposterousry Rich-rooking white-mens: Yes. We anticipated that but the public is very angry. After all, you stupid bastards started the whole thing. They will want blood. We have retained a private firm to negotiate reduced sentences for all but the worst offenders. As we are a capitalist country it is fee-based, of course.


[image]local://upfiles/34241/54F1CF809FAF4F278086B40BC2580BF0.jpg[/image]


Hai! That-ah the one! Chickenboy-san have 20% ownahship stake. So do othah 12 originah investahs! We-ah make mirrions!

The firm of Bialystok & Bloom were investment consultants.

[image]local://upfiles/34241/49D138B98DC4494BB55E9D9302CBA700.jpg[/image]



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Negotiator (3/20/2019 3:09:28 AM)

Twin Mark XXXVIII-D torpedoes forward



Zorch -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Negotiator (3/20/2019 3:45:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Twin Mark XXXVIII-D torpedoes forward

With contact detonators - no misfires due to magnetic fields. They require regular maintenance by qualified personnel.



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (3/22/2019 2:47:26 AM)

Haha. Mandarake-san crean up desktop and find thing from 3 Earth years ago. Amazing thing everyone pretty much stirr arive* especiarry because everyone on pranet supposedarry die in 12 years. Onry thing different, everyone rive on same isrand Mistah Churchirr get in big trouburh if use rong pronun.


quote:

*******************Mandrake's Foreign Languages in Three Easy Steps (on-line version)************

English to Japanese:

1) Substitute "r" sound for "l", you know, say "rike" instead or "like"
2) Get rid of pronouns. Use nouns It's easy, just say "Mandrake-san" instead of "I" except put in your own name.
3) Pretty much get rid of articles too. This is especially convincing.
4) If you find an "r" sound at the "end" of a word it's more like "ah" instead. For example "officer" becomes "OF-ficah". If you are doing this in person nod your head slightly to confer deference.
5) Forget irregular English plural forms. Just put an "s" on end. "Women" becomes "womans"
6) Instead of "yes" say "HAI!" with emphatic head gesture.
7) Insert extra vowel sounds at the end of some hard consonants. Like this. "HAI! Mandrake-san understand-ah". I think just do this kind of randomly otherwise it sounds fake. It takes some practice.

English to Chinese (Mandarin):

1) Substitute "L" sound for "r" as in "Hully up" or "vely much". This is very confusing to beginners and I'm not sure I understand either considering the invaders of the Japans that displaced the Ainu probably came from China. Just trust me.
2) Try to add some "ey" endings to English words for authenticity, as in, "You like-ey flied lice"
3) Note that pronouns are OK. Don't ask me to explain this either.
4) Walk with really close together steps like you have the runs and you are trying to make the can without an accident.

Try these simple steps and you will gain the admiration of native speakers at every turn. You might even get a job at the UN*




* The publisher makes no warrants in this regard










*Except peopurh that become ancestahs



zuluhour -> RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective (4/12/2019 1:40:29 PM)

To much ahh burr at imperial HQ

[image]local://upfiles/37319/3194CA7EAA1C47A3BD986E483A60B602.jpg[/image]



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