Why is THIS STILL not MODELED!?!?!?! (Full Version)

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JohnK -> Why is THIS STILL not MODELED!?!?!?! (3/4/2003 12:26:21 PM)

http://www.domeisland.com/ussobannon/lull.html

Destroyer USS O'Bannon, April 5, 1943:

"Returning from a night shelling deep in the New Georgia area, the sound gear picks up a contact that turns out to be a large Japanese submarine cruising on the surface and apparently unaware of our presence. The Japanese lookouts must have fallen asleep. We approach rapidly and are preparing to ram the sub. Those on the bridge are trying to identify it by type and decide at the last minute that it is a minelayer. Not wanting to blow ourselves up along with the sub, a quick decision is made not to ram the sub. At the last moment, the rudder was swung hard to avoid a collision and we find ourselves, rather embarrassed, sailing along side the sub.

On board the sub, sailors in dark shorts and dinky blue hats are sleeping on deck and awaken to see an American destroyer along side. Our ship is too close to the sub to allow any of our guns to be depressed enough to fire at the sub and of course no one on deck ever carries a hand gun. Ditto on the Japanese sub, no one there has anything to fire there either. This is the kind of event that, at the time, no one seems to have any idea of what to do and everyone just stares and seems spellbound.

The Japanese sailors do have a gun a 3-inch deck gun and finally decide to use it. Seeing this our deck parties grab potatoes out of the storage bins that are located close by and throw them at the Japanese on the deck of the sub. A potato battle ensues. Apparently the Japanese sailors think the potatoes are hand grenades so they keep busy throwing them back and over the side. This keeps them from manning their deck gun until we can put enough distance between our ship and the sub. As we move away, our guns are now able to be brought to bear. One of our shells manages to hit the subs conning tower but the sub is able to submerge anyway. At this time we are able to pass directly over the sub for a depth charge attack. Later information shows that we did indeed sink the sub. When the Association of Potato Growers of Maine heard of this episode, they sent a plaque to commemorate the event. The plaque was mounted in an appropriate place near the crews messhall for all to see."

I am apalled by the egregious oversight of the UV team in getting through THIS many patches without adequately modeling potatoes in combat.

Much research will need to be done on the effective potato loadouts of allied ships.

Seems questionable whether the IJN had potatoes though I've seen rumors of a secret "Detachment Spud" in Manchuria trying to develop potatoes.

To avoid overuse of potatoes, I submit that Allied vessels should ONLY be able to load them in Brisbane and Noumea.




Ron Saueracker -> (3/4/2003 2:18:31 PM)

:D




CapAndGown -> (3/4/2003 3:03:20 PM)

Apparently the designers felt this should be left for WitP. Calculating potato supply for each ship, as well as it accessibility to deck hands has proven tricky because most sources do not list the actual number of spuds carried into combat versus the potential spud carrying capacities. It is suspected that some of the spud capacity was actualy used for carrots instead. Also, there has been a question of whether a ship hit by a torpedo should suffer extra sys damage when carrying its full spud capacity. [I]USS Atlanta[/I] seems to have been at least one victim of too many spuds on board during the first naval battle of Guadacanal.




CapAndGown -> deleted (3/4/2003 3:04:00 PM)

. . .




pasternakski -> (3/4/2003 3:30:06 PM)

It has been modeled ...




Piiska -> (3/4/2003 4:30:28 PM)

So it seems I have not missed a much during my little trip to tropical Queensland.

Well. I’m back in Sydney now and what do I find opening the UV at last?

They still haven’t implemented the potatoes?! What on earth have they been doing? :confused:

[QUOTE]Originally posted by cap_and_gown
[B]Calculating potato supply for each ship, as well as it accessibility to deck hands has proven tricky because most sources do not list the actual number of spuds carried into combat versus the potential spud carrying capacities. It is suspected that some of the spud capacity was actualy used for carrots instead[/B][/QUOTE]

No, no, no Cap. You got it completely wrong.

UV is operational level game and micromanaging potato and carrot loads are beyond the scope of the game. Instead, the amount of vegetables aboard the ships should be abstracted under category of ‘Tertiary Non-Lethal Projectiles’ (TNLP).

Every ship should be allowed to carry 5 TNLPs per crew member. The availability of TNLP for the hands on the deck should be calculated from historic research.

If we could provide some historical data on how many times TNLP were used in combat during the WW2 we might have a stronger case. In addition to this we would need a rough questimate of many ‘combats’ occurred during the war. Comparing these figures against each other we should be able to calculate quite realistically a ‘chance’ of TNLP deployment in a naval combat situation. (Asking land combat routine alterations might be pushing it).

Maybe to simplify the coding process Matrix could use the current torpedo surprise run routine. Whenever the combat is fought at the range of Tertiary Non-Lethal Projectiles the computer should make a random check against the ‘Chance’ value (modified with crew experience) to see if TNLPs are deployed.

Only thing that I’m not certain about is the type of damage caused by the TNLP… Obviously they can’t cause SYS or flooding damage, but when deployed successfully they might reduce detection level of the attacking ship due to the fact that the defending crew is busy throwing potatoes overboard and not paying attention….Then again…blah…blah.. :confused:




Sonny -> (3/4/2003 8:41:08 PM)

The reason it is so hard to model precicely is that the loadout for ships only record lbs. of potatoes - not how many. With varying spud sizes you would not know how many were available only the gross weight. Another problem would be that the range on even the smallest of the spuds might be too short to model in an operational type game such as UV. Now if it were a tactical game...:D




Drex -> (3/4/2003 9:11:37 PM)

What kind of potatoes were they? Idaho, sweet potato or what? Any modeling has to take in the different effects of each different kind. Everyone knows that each potato family has its own offensive characteristics.:)




CapAndGown -> (3/4/2003 9:36:39 PM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Drex
[B]Everyone knows that each potato family has its own offensive characteristics.:) [/B][/QUOTE]

I find that sweet potatoes are especially offensive.




Toro -> (3/4/2003 11:00:57 PM)

So TNLP would include lima beans? I ask because when SONAR domes are added to ships I have good information that they are actually filled to capacity with lima beans. This accounts for why we had lima beans [I]every friggin' day[/I] during my Med cruise.

Of course, using lima beans as TNLP would be more like a nuisance weapon than the potato variety, the latter which could have disorienting effects if one is hit in the head (especially accounting for mass and velocity). The effects of lima beans, on the other hand, would probably be restricted to disgust, bordering on nausea for a certain percentage of the crew.




Cap Mandrake -> (3/5/2003 12:36:08 AM)

In short order, technological innovation improved upon the range restrictions of hand-launched spuds.




RevRick -> But on test Firing the P-Gun... (3/5/2003 2:41:35 AM)

they found that the entire payload was instantly converted to hashbrown. This was a more insidious weapon in that it worked primarily on the enemy's cholesterol level and in the long run (40 -50 years) residual effects would be deblilitating. But, since the effect would not be immediate, it's battle scene deployment could not be condoned until a proper container for the initial payload was developed.




Snigbert -> (3/5/2003 2:46:14 AM)

Were the potatos peeled or unpeeled? It would justify all those nights of KP if the potatos were peeled.




Drex -> (3/5/2003 2:51:12 AM)

I thought Hash Browns were delivered with a 9" C.I. pan liberally swabbed in hot bacon grease. Such a weapon was initially banned by the Geneva Convention.




Von_Frag -> (3/5/2003 3:25:44 AM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Cap Mandrake
[B]In short order, technological innovation improved upon the range restrictions of hand-launched spuds. [/B][/QUOTE]

ROTHFLMAO!

Ok, a cheesey post to get 100. :D




Sonny -> (3/5/2003 3:42:27 AM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Von_Frag
[B]ROTHFLMAO!

Ok, a cheesey post to get 100. :D [/B][/QUOTE]

Don't think cheese fries were invented until after the war.:D




Admiral DadMan -> (3/5/2003 3:47:30 AM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Toro
[B]So TNLP would include lima beans? I ask because when SONAR domes are added to ships I have good information that they are actually filled to capacity with lima beans. This accounts for why we had lima beans [I]every friggin' day[/I] during my Med cruise.

Of course, using lima beans as TNLP would be more like a nuisance weapon than the potato variety, the latter which could have disorienting effects if one is hit in the head (especially accounting for mass and velocity). The effects of lima beans, on the other hand, would probably be restricted to disgust, bordering on nausea for a certain percentage of the crew. [/B][/QUOTE]Lima beans are actually what are shot out of the Vulcan Phalanx 20mm AAA




Toro -> (3/5/2003 3:59:07 AM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Admiral DadMan
[B]Lima beans are actually what are shot out of the Vulcan Phalanx 20mm AAA [/B][/QUOTE]

Ah yes, that's right: the uncooked variety. Very hard, very hazardous.




Drex -> (3/5/2003 4:08:37 AM)

Oh what depths we have sunk to waiting for this next tantalizing patch. And I 'm wallowing in it too. :D




GBirk -> (3/5/2003 8:00:58 AM)

But it is modeled! Look what happened in my latest game:

Sub attack at 17,29

Japanese Ships
SS I-15, Potato hits 5

Allied Ships
DD O'Bannon


[edit: doh, hit the wrong button and posted too soon.]




USSMaine -> (3/5/2003 8:07:50 AM)

speaking as someone who has picked more potatoes than everyone on this forum will ever eat - I find all this hiliarous !!

Thanks guys and watch out for them spuds !!




Drex -> (3/5/2003 8:25:06 AM)

Gbirk: were those hits mashed or unmashed?




Point Luck -> (3/5/2003 8:31:10 AM)

[QUOTE]were those hits mashed or unmashed?[/QUOTE]

It's obvious that IJN had her tubes loaded with French Fried




Drex -> (3/5/2003 9:54:21 AM)

Point Luck: I like you! Somehow we think alike. How about a game?




Chijohnaok2 -> (3/5/2003 10:03:45 AM)

When I was in college my fraternity made use of potatoes on several occasions in conflicts with the fraternity across the street from us. We had a giant slingshot made of of medical tubing and a funnel. We used both baked and raw potatoes as ammunition.

I even recall on one occasion when our supply of baked and raw potatoes were exhausted, we called into the kitchen for potatoes of any kind and were promptly brought a platter of au grautin potatoes. They had a devastating effect at very close range but were worthless at a distance of greater than 20 feet or so.

John




Drex -> (3/5/2003 10:12:47 AM)

Au Gratin! Why didn't my frat ( ZBT) ever think of that? Any how the Geneva Convention definitely prohibited that!




Chijohnaok2 -> (3/5/2003 10:26:33 AM)

The ZBT house was outside of launcher range from our house (Theta Xi). The frat we tangled with most ofted was LXA.

John




Drex -> (3/5/2003 10:37:40 AM)

No offense but back in my day (1969) theta Chi was a joke!




Cap Mandrake -> (3/5/2003 11:09:54 AM)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by chijohnaok
[B].


I even recall on one occasion when our supply of baked and raw potatoes were exhausted, we called into the kitchen for potatoes of any kind and were promptly brought a platter of au grautin potatoes. They had a devastating effect at very close range but were worthless at a distance of greater than 20 feet or so.

John [/B][/QUOTE]


Excerpted from the memoirs of Capt. John Oak, commander of Battery A, 1st Idaho Volunteers (Boise Tubers) describing the fighting during the repulse of Pickett's Division on the third day of the Battle of Gettysburg. Cannister ammunition (also called au gratin shot) was responsible for grievous casualties at close range among........




Drex -> (3/5/2003 11:29:51 AM)

Au Gratin Shot! Yes of course, this explains so many effects of cannister at Gettysburg , Fredricksburg, etc. I think you might have come across a significant effect on civil war casualties.




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