The Twin Peaks Massacre, preset game for Capt.Pixel and Buzzard45

The Twin Peaks Massacre, preset game for Capt.Pixel and Buzzard45 (Full Version)

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Lars -> The Twin Peaks Massacre, preset game for Capt.Pixel and Buzzard45 (3/18/2003 7:42:09 AM)
OK guys, I don't know where this battle could have occurred :rolleyes: , but somewhere in Europe it is. Poland (CP) vs. France (Buzz) 06/40, bad weather low visibility and C&C Off. Poland 1940 didn't have a lot to pick from but I still managed a pretty good mix. Both nations have very low experience and morale, so be prepared for a lot of retreating units. :D [B]Your orders:[/B] Both commanders are ordered to take control over the two hills in the middle of the map. Fight any enemy counteroffensive off and don't forget to cover your back. [B]The map:[/B] This is an edited random map 100x60 (medium). It may take some turns before you have contact, but then it could be a bloodbath. ;) Enjoy yourself /Lars

Lars -> The map... (3/18/2003 7:43:37 AM)
An edited random medium map. Lots of woods and hills.

Lars -> Ooops (3/18/2003 7:53:55 AM)
I forgot to mention... The game is set for H2H-mod. [COLOR=red][B]And you'll get a "security violation OOB message". [/B] [/COLOR] This always happens when a third person set a game up. I'm not sure, but I think you only see it in when you open it the first time. /Lars

Buzzard45 -> Here ou go Cap'n. (3/18/2003 11:53:17 PM)
Lots of rough forest and boulders and such. I swear I saw a neanderthal running through the woods.:eek: Ahh, maybe it was just a Sasquatch.:)

Capt. Pixel -> Re: Here ou go Cap'n. (3/20/2003 12:40:52 AM)
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Buzzard45 [B]Lots of rough forest and boulders and such. I swear I saw a neanderthal running through the woods.:eek: Ahh, maybe it was just a Sasquatch.:) [/B][/QUOTE] Darn! you saw me? I was tryin' so hard to be unseen. :(

Capt. Pixel -> Turn 1 - Poland (3/20/2003 2:57:30 AM)
After much deliberation about how to employ the troops given to my command by HQ (Thanks Lars. :D ), We've arrived at a battle plan. The French have access to Air, so I hope I've arrayed an adequate AA defense. It looks pretty good to me. Almost immediately the terrain starts to get in the way. Hedges are all about and are hindering my wagons full of machine guns and hand grenades. Due to some poor inital deployment, I had to off-load onto some mules to get the ammo moving forward with the troops. :rolleyes: The French also have several small creeks to cross. I'm gonna have to do something about his several little wooden bridges. Nice force and map, Lars. This is gonna be a lot of fun. :cool: You're up, Buzzard. (well, I still can't post an attachment. So your turn will be along in the email shortly)

Buzzard45 -> What a hairy ...but I thought it was you. (3/20/2003 10:52:21 AM)
Monsier Le Capt has sent his artillereee, to block zee rue du guerre. It will not wok. Hees gunniers are not accurat. Ha Ha We taunt him:D

Capt. Pixel -> Turn 2 - Poland (3/22/2003 12:37:05 AM)
Not much to report. Enemy vehicles and infantry sighted on the northern and southern roads. Enemy vehicles are also moving cross-country near the center of the map. French 75mm Howitzers pound the Polish approach in the north and Polish 81mm mortars return fire in like fashion. (In other words, neither one of us can hit for sh**) :p I [I]love[/I] MP. :cool: "Go away or I shall taunt you again a second time." :D

Buzzard45 -> Break Time (3/23/2003 11:32:00 PM)
Someone has brought a Victrola and a platoon of troops opens a bottle or two of Beaujelais. They tear into a loaf of crusty bread and a fellow grenadier slices cheese as they listen to Edith Pilaf sing her mournful song. The sound of artilery off in the distance brings no concern as the officers insist it is their own. BUT....it isn't their own:(

Capt. Pixel -> Turn 3 - Poland (3/26/2003 2:29:03 AM)
Some more enemy squads sighted but are too far off to engage. Other than that, not much action so far. One scout team got shot at a little bit. I suspect that the French next move will open up a firefight or two across the map. Here we go! Now he will see the fierceness of our proud Polish troops. We have no regard for the French, for they are sissys. (at least that's what M4 Jess told me) :cool:

Buzzard45 -> Aye Mate,, Sissies they are. (3/28/2003 2:48:42 PM)
Sissimatic... Sissational and Sisssiptical to lots of sissipression too. Gives a new meaning to hit and run. Is your arty acting wierd? I sent some 60mm but it landed on me. That should be my 105's but I didn't send it there. And 75's should be s----canned . Whew!! makes me glad I wasn't there looking out for friendly fire. I bumped into a couple of squads of PO engineers with Flamethrowers no less. No vodka bottles for these classy guys. They should really let some dirt form on all that glitz on the uniform though. They are WAY too easy to spot. Feel the power of a Char Bi. and run away. Ha Ha. :) :)

Capt. Pixel -> Turn 4 Poland (3/30/2003 2:55:30 AM)
My artillery seems to be working okay. I also have 75mm howitzers and 60mm mortars, so that might be where the confusion lies. The French have more offboard than the Poles, so we got extra in Engineer infantry. The Engineers don't seem to be slowing you down much. :rolleyes: Keep up the arty barrage. We DO need more dirt on our glitzy uniforms. (I guess the concept of camoflage was a little late in coming to the Poles) It appears we're right on the verge of slamming in to each other. Hold on to your pointy helmet. :cool:

Buzzard45 -> Pointy Helmet Held (4/1/2003 12:17:05 AM)
The French advance.....and retreat. Those nasty engineers gives us a shock but we blast away at them until they all lie down and we can't hit them anymore:( . Arty is not responding. They must speak colloquial French. Ratser-fratser and all manner of expletives. How can I advance through my own barrage? :mad: :mad: I looked at the gun on the R-40(?) It can't penetrate its own armor but one did. It got a bottom shot on a polish tank of similar design (HEY! did you steal my copy-right? or did some traitorous so&so sell French arms to the enemy?)that was coming over the ridge. The Char has good guns but no aim. Methinks that a little Buzzard training is in order. Lets fire in volleys. maybe that will work. It works on an AT. That 40mm was pretty much gone anyway but my Brave garcons finished him off. I catch an infantry squad sneaking around the north flank. He spots my best tank and then runs away. The South sees probes only and the majority of the indirect fire. It looks like the Poles have gained the heights and a commanding view. Mon petite garcons will have to scale the cliffs to take it unless I flank the hills through the woods. Dangerous stuff for a tank of this era. Heavy clash in the centre coming up soon.

Capt. Pixel -> Turn 5 - Time Marches On (4/6/2003 4:47:04 AM)
"Wait for eet, wait for eet ......." ----- bwawhump ----- "okay - NOW!" ----- BWAWHUMP ----- The second bridge the Partisans blew took both TNT charges but still dropped into the river just as the bridge a kilometer south had done moments before. Now it will cost the Frenchies about an extra turn (and a possible immobilization :) ) to get units across his little creek. MuAhahahaha. The first infantry AT Rifle lines up for a close shot at a nearby tank (even though it probably couldn't penetrate the armor ANYway), and promptly malfunctions. This is not regarded as a good portent of the future of this battle. Many Polish infantry turn and run. :mad: "Beware each tree branch or snag that points your way. For it may actually be the barrels of my many 47mm AT guns. I have thousands of the buggers! Thousands I say! Okay - hundreds! Yeah that's the ticket - hundreds!" "Okay, dozens. Really. Many dozens. A half-dozen dozens! At least that many." "Oh alright. I give. I gotta half-dozen of 'em. But they're MEAN and MAD :mad: !!!"

Buzzard45 -> Two hexes south (4/6/2003 1:15:32 PM)
and just off the road is a ford. Not a Pinto mind you but a usable spot never-the-less.:D :p :p :D I will only need to cross the creek [SIZE=3]To KILL THOSE CHEESE EATING SONS OF SAUSAGES[/SIZE] Now I gotta send a unit or two to finish off the [SIZE=3]BREAD BAKING HORN DRINKING SHEEP BEATERS[/SIZE] Why I oughta take away their velco gloves and rubber boots.:mad: :mad: Then let them beg for lovin' Acchh!! No matter we'll just keep pushing ahead. Its gonna be a short game by the looks of things. Three turns and I'll be on your home hexes. Mind you, Those Poles sure don't give in easy. They'll surrender but never disperse with six hits. I've got a few to chase down yet. And wait until I bring the Char Bis monsters. Armor rating of 70. Even those 47mm are gonna have a tough time with them.:D :D Hey, take a look at the new assault wagons pulled by stealthy ponies. Sneak right up on you. LOL. And watch all the retreats in the replay. This was a GOOD turn. LOL. ROTFLMAO. What a fun game.:) :) Better than Dino Mut:)

Capt. Pixel -> Turn 6 - Remembering the Homeland (4/15/2003 10:19:51 AM)
That seems to be heavy on my soldiers minds. Many have decided that laying mines along the front lines is hazardous business, best left to the Riflemen. Unfortunately, retreating under heavy fire from rapidly advancing armor is not something the Poles excell at. Casualties are high along the advance line. The appearance of even more Char B1s and a large platoon of H-35s have me convinced that I'm seriously out-classed and the Poles are definitely out-numbered in armor (something like 2:1 at last count. :( ). The best tanks the Poles have are the truly under-capable R-40. This puppy can't even punch through his own armor (or get out of it's own way for that matter). My only real hope is that the French breakdown rate is extremely high. Without that slim chance, I have no chance. The French also seem to have enough infantry to handle anything that I might throw at them. They are having no difficulty handling my poor under-armed Polish Engineers. I'm also convined that the French Cavalry isn't going to have much difficulty chasing down my wagons and killing them in a most heinous way. This is going to be a CF for the Poles in a major way. :rolleyes: It's about time to send my Foreign Ambassador abroad to convince the world that the French are not to be trusted (duh) and that we are kicking their *** all the way back to whatever the nearest border is. :cool:

Buzzard45 -> Twin Peaks Massacre (4/16/2003 1:34:10 AM)
It is truly turning out to be a massacre. The French Mech have made their 1st appearance and will doubtless dominate the battlefield. I don't know what your points were spent on CP. I just hope its not hoards of Patisans in my rear area. There are at least two platoons back there although they are each short a section now. I don't see much else though. Maybe you are in layers like an Ogre. Clever of you to pair a MG with an AT but not clevor to put them in the same hex. A shot at one effects both. Your ambassadors had better be plying the international community with lots of promises beacuse the French still have the veto and are not about to lose the war against any second rate nation (that takes in pretty much all of them) unless of coarse you start winning. Then we'll give up, well, most of us will, and the rest will fight on, hard and with a purpose until we too look like we are losing.;) Attack!! Attack!! Run away !! Run away!! Its all the same in the end. The Buzzards and worms get you.:rolleyes:

Capt. Pixel -> Turn 7 - the Wyrm Turns (4/21/2003 3:01:05 AM)
"Okay, Svetlana. I think they're past us now." Svetlana slowly opened the cellar door. "Those foolish frenchies never think to look in the cellars. Hah!" "It'll be the end of them" growled Svetalana as she prepared the incendiary device. :mad: Svetlana and her nine mates from the academy all charged out into the street, pinning down a gun crew and driving a squad of frenchie rifles back down the street. A Citroen driver was joined by the crew of a FR wagon in firing their pistols over the hood of the truck at the crazed Partisans. Incendiary bombs lit up the street and spilled smoke all about. John-Paul took a bullet in the leg and had to be dragged back into the building. :mad: Three kliks behind the front, another squad of Partisans located a Char B1 that had been immobilized. A quick incendiary down the open hatch finished [I]that[/I] tank off. :D Another Partisan squad near the northern bridge is pinned down by two Hochkiss MGs and a nearby FR scout. Or is he? Seems to me what he's [I]really[/I] doing is keeping two MGs and a Scout busy. ;) Saying I might have hoards of Partisans in your rear area would be slightly inacurate. A half-a-dozen 'swarms' would be a better description. What is surprising me is that so many are actually arriving before T99. I plan to nibble at you from the inside outwards. ;) In the north, the French have tipped their hand. I now know where their punch is going to be. I have a small advantage over the frenchies as I'm maneuvering within a reducing front. (read: I'm being flanked in force from the north and having to fall back. :rolleyes: ) Something like ten or twelve quality french tanks are making their bid in the north along with a squad of Mech Infantry (the Polish haven't even conceived of MI yet!) Since I can't get my ENTIRE armored force there in time, I'll just have to do with what I've got. Rocks and Sticks!! And Nasty name-calling. The French ought to respond to [I]that[/I]. :p All up and down the front, the Poles are maneuvering and exchanging fire with various french elements. Another R-40 is lost in a duel, and he had a substantial terrain advantage too. Bloody Char B1! :mad: (It's not like I've got a lot of these laying around, ya know) As far as lumping units in a hex goes, it's certainly not in my best interests to do so, but spilling them all about and then having to round them up again uses up precious movement. That's something the PO wagons don't have much of. (It was Lars' idea, BTW) What I really wish is that I could contact my one bleedin' OBA. By the time I [I]DO[/I] get it, it'll be plotted so far from the action, and it'll be another turn before it arrives. I may not even get the opportunity to fire it at this rate. :mad: My H2H suggestion to Panzer Leo? - change the abbreviation for the Polish Oob from 'PO' to 'P.U.' :p :cool:

Buzzard45 -> Svetlana? (4/22/2003 3:43:32 AM)
I bet she goes by Svetty for short:) An aroma that only Napolean could love. ;) :) NOT ANYMORE!!! Svetty and her friend are sitting back in the cellar under armed guard. John-Paul succumed to his wounds along with 6 of his squad mates. Partisan, schmartizans. They are only an anoynance. I was going to wait for the reinforcements to come and mop them up but... what's a couple of MGs and an R-40 or 2. The Char B1 wasn't going to see any action anyway. Unless, its crew could have found a BIG tracked vehicle to pull it out of the mud (on a slope yet). Another patch of mud has claimed 4 vehicles now. If it wasn't between a rock wall and a stone building, I'd go around. (now, I'll have to leave some infantry to keep the Part-heads away.) What the F9 is that?? I see a company of AUX tanks, R-35s and a couple of R-39s. You really don't want me flanking you down there, do you?? MG tracked vehicles?? Horse drawn wagons everywhere but no passengers,, ANY MORE:) :D :) :D ATGs, MGs and Rifles squad all put up their hands and surrender (after I kill 2/3s of their number). The Mech Company is having target practice. I can't be bothered shooting at the tanks except with the Char Bis. They can't hurt my R-40s and I can't hurt them with my little 37mm HE shells. So I call in the Heavies. 47mm guns, armor twice as thick and ...... Run away now little PO guys. The big boys are here and have come to squash you.:) :) :) Give up yet?

Capt. Pixel -> Turn 8 - The Infantry Speaks (4/27/2003 6:50:17 AM)
{Maybe a little subliminal psychological warfare ;) Not much else seems to be working.} {don't hit the F9 key, buzzard. that'd be bad for you. Remember, don't hit F9} --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yep! They actually managed to shoot at something and affect it in a negative way. {F9} This is a new and novel approach now being experimented with in the Polish army. Other than that, I shoot, I hit occasionally, {F9} and once in a blue moon I can actually manage to damage one of his enemy tanks. I now see more armor {F9} than I started with in full sight. Wish I had somebody that could do {F9} something about it. :( Never playing the Polish again - Nope! Never {F9} again. (seems to me I've said this before :rolleyes: {F9})

Buzzard45 -> What the {F9} are you talking about? (4/29/2003 1:07:01 PM)
Well, I sent my F9ing tanks down the F9ing road and right into the F9ing sight of the two F9ing 47mmATGs. So what the F9 is a guy supposed to do. (do I sound like a trucker yet?):) I lost two tanks and got two tanks. I sent in the Mech units. I shot up the 47mmATG and the MG with them but I don't know how hurt they are. The Mech companies are the strenghth that tips the balance. Where they are The French control and little will stop them, except maybe more 47mm and more R35s and R39s than I thought that I would ever see in this match. Wearing red and white (without the blue) they come crashing through the hedge rows one after the other after the other. What the F9??:confused: Then when I thought , well I'll put this turn to bed after taking out a couple more partisans (whimpy partisans against hefty hefty Sumoas), along come a barrage of 100mm the likes of which have not been seen in this peaceful Polish country side. Birds squawk, gophers hump, bees buzz in circles, and ground hogs go to ground. What a sausage grinder. Me thinks you was playing possum Capt P. I hate to look. (them gophers are always humping, and not big packs)(thought I'd forgotten hadn't yah?) Run away Run away. Go to it Capt P. Yah motherless monster of mayhem.

Lars -> Go, go , go... (5/6/2003 9:57:08 PM)
Hi guys, I�ve just looked at the replay of the French turn. It sure looks like CP got his hands full. But I wouldn�t be too sure if I was a Buzzard� :eek: :rolleyes: ;) Enjoy your game /Lars

Capt. Pixel -> Turn 9 - What's a fellow to do? (5/11/2003 4:51:34 AM)
Well, we had a little more of the same. Lots of Polish tankettes tinking pot shots off of the mighty French armor. Many shots hit, but none can actually penetrate their mystical protection. :rolleyes: One tank, at point-blank range finally convinced a French crew to bail on the third hit! (My only real hope is that he'll break his guns shooting at my trucks. :( ) None of the AT guns got a shot at a tank. From what I could tell from the frantic runners was that my ad-hoc AT defenses were ripped apart by Mech infantry. They arrived before my transports and passengers could disperse. It was ugly. Infantry advances have been stalled on both sides across the center and south. Polish artillery continues to pound on the armor advance and the southern defenses. Partisans lurk in ever-growing numbers in the French rear area. If you think hemorroids are troublesome, you ain't seen nuthin yet! :D Back at ya, Buzzard. :cool:

Buzzard45 -> Partisans Smartizans (5/12/2003 11:56:39 AM)
Those back country hicks are just a pain. They have so far caused little damage but we'll see what else shows up. I need some ammo for a number of units and I could use better radios to get through to those idiot off-board gunners. The mighty French armor couldn't punch its way out of a paper bag this turn. several hits by the 47mm but no kills. The star was talented gunner in a FT-17 (some used piece of junk the Poles picked up at an auction sale) He stopped several Lorraines from close assaults and saved his and his flank-man's butt. I sent an R35 after him but no hits and no return fire until I tried to bring up another Lorraine full of MI. Then he shoots and hits:mad: :mad: :mad: Best I could do was send some more poor Polish infantry and Engineers to the big waiting room. I did manage to route an AT or two but no "survivors disperse" from them. Well, Capt Pixel. Its time to show your hand. Play 'em if you got 'em. More Frenchies are on their way.

Capt. Pixel -> 10 - Polish armor speaks (5/18/2003 1:04:19 AM)
We got one! We got one! A couple of the French tanks brewed up this turn. I'd like to think it was due to skill and planning, but the truth of the matter is it was just dumb luck. It seems like EVERYBODY's running away from this battle, French and Polish alike. The 'retreat' notices run across the screen for several seconds for both sides. We're just having a hard time getting the boys to stay and fight. A Polish engineer attempted an assualt on the rear of a French tank and botched it up good. An adjacent Polish tank plinked a few 37mm shots off the same target - and did nothing. An AT team then tried to pound the same poor Frenchie, also to no avail. Partisans scramble around in the French backfield. Mostly they're getting their a$$es shot off. At least the Somua chasing Partisans in the rear area aren't driving around at the battlefront - yet! This is truly pathetic. :rolleyes:

Buzzard45 -> Re: 10 - Polish armor speaks (5/22/2003 5:31:00 AM)
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Capt. Pixel [B] This is truly pathetic. :rolleyes: [/B][/QUOTE] Pathetic yet strangely kinda fun. Its such a thrill to see a section stand their ground that you just want to protect them and not let them get hurt but the ones you want to get rid of just keep running. I got a tank or two but the guns don't hit like they oughta. Must be all the movement. Even the light tanks seem to take killing hits that just bounce and non-lethal hits are. Go figure:confused: I like Lorraines. They do a good job. So much so that a whole new raft of them just came on board along wih some decent guns fresh from the factory. So new that they haven't been sighted in yet and are expected to miss wildly. "Try a little more windage" Yeah that's it.:D I should back-up and wait for them but.... Naw, that's too much like retreating and mon petite garcons do enough of that. Come on Capt. Hit me where it hurts:D :D :D right in the ___ OHH!!!??? Buzzards don't hang low there:eek: :eek: __Beak.

Buzzard45 -> FOR SALE (5/22/2003 5:32:56 AM)
FOR SALE: Almost new French Rifles. Never fired. Only dropped once. :) ;) :) ;) :) ;) :) ;)

Capt. Pixel -> Turn 11 - we's gettin' tougher! (5/25/2003 1:56:49 AM)
Yep, the Poles are beginning to galvanize. (As best as Poles can, anyway) :rolleyes: Almost nothing seems to affect the French armor, particularly the Char B1s. Entire platoons of R-39s and R-40s are tackling the French armor push, but nothing seems to work. They continue to advance. :mad: In the south, the French are beginning to stumble. Piecemeal infantry are being chewed apart by the valiant Polish. We're fighting uphill (up cliffs, actually), but we're making progress nonetheless. :D One revealing fact is that there are probably three times as many French units in retreat as there are Poles. This might be due to my more effective ad-hoc defense, but it's probably just reflecting the fact that I've had a large amount of casualties. Dead guys don't retreat. :( We're half way through this game, but I don't know if [I]either[/I] of us can make it another 11 turns. :cool:

Capt. Pixel -> (5/25/2003 2:04:45 AM)
I found a new byline for you, Buzz. "If God had meant for us to enjoy flying and dining, He would have made us all Buzzards." Gene Perret - [I]Someday I Want to Go to All the Places My Luggage Has Been[/I] :D

Buzzard45 -> (5/25/2003 3:05:16 AM)
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Capt. Pixel [B]I found a new byline for you, Buzz. "If God had meant for us to enjoy flying and dining, He would have made us all Buzzards." Gene Perret - [I]Someday I Want to Go to All the Places My Luggage Has Been[/I] :D [/B][/QUOTE] ROFLMAO :rolleyes: :p :rolleyes: :p :rolleyes: :p :rolleyes: :p :rolleyes: :cool:

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