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warspite1 -> RE: OT - young whippersnapper free zone (7/24/2015 5:56:39 PM)
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ORIGINAL: geofflambert
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ORIGINAL: Chickenboy
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ORIGINAL: geofflambert
I knew they were impoverished there, but I had no idea they couldn't even afford apostrophes. Maybe we should book a convention at Freds Bar and Grill.
Not so fast, Lizard. The restaurant could be named after multiple Freds, thus justifying the signage. Interference with other cultures' punctuation or syntax can be disastrous. Before you go and start dropping your punctuation on other countries, you should remember this last ill-fated effort: [:-]
Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia
(originally appeared in The Onion, Number One In News)
Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients
Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A,E,I,O and U, and is hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable.
"For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Clinton said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say 'Enough.' It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words. The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavour."
The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Storm by the State Department, is set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated to be the first recipients. Two C-130 transport planes, each carrying over 500 24-count boxes of "E's," will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.
Citizens of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels. "My God, I do not think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnjkln, 44, said. "I have six children and none of them has a name that is understandable to me or to anyone else. Mr. Clinton, please send my poor, wretched family just one 'E.' Please."
Said Sjlbvdnzv resident Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I could be George Humphries. This is my dream."
The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a foreign country since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped 92,000 consonants to Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aao with vital, life-giving supplies of L's, S's and T's.
All of the Balkans (except Greece) require a full scale invasion of vowels!
warspite1
When will you Americans ever learn? As Donald Rumsfeld famously once said, "Americans do not do place name building".
Look at what happened last time you made a stab at re-building Eastern Europe and the fate of the famous Czech town of Brno. Your half-arsed attempt resulted in the world's 3rd largest island moving permanently to Central Europe [:-]
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