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Seth -> New American Unit (6/2/2000 1:07:00 AM)
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That's right, the Americans need the War Movie Squad! This would consist of:
1. The Gruff But Loveable Commander-John Wayne type tough guy who thrills to combat but loves his men like children. He's tough on them, but it pays off in the climactic scene.
2. The Idealistic Young Kid-He's new to the unit, barely old enough to shave, usually from a small Midwestern town. He tries to make friends, but they all reject him. Then his flamethrower explodes, or some other gruesome accident, and they feel bad for about five minutes. Then a new one gets posted to the unit. A liability for anyone standing too close, these guys die off like redshirts on the old Star Trek.
3. The Italian-He's from the Bronx, or Brooklyn. This useless wisecracker spends all his time talking about food, his girl, his car, and the Dodgers. Makes you wonder who rooted for the Yankees or the Giants. Also makes you wonder how we won. He later went on to a successful career in B-grade sci-fi.
4. Psycho Hillbilly-This guy truly enjoys killing, and often creeps out the other guys in the squad. He's almost always from the backwoods, and usually religious to boot. He's often featured shooting a German after he surrenders, but makes up for it later by giving some little French waif a pack of gum.
5. The Rich Guy-He's out to prove that the Boston intelligentsia are just plain folks. However, he always dies a heroic death by jumping on a grenade or somesuch, proving (sort of) that rank has its privileges, and making everyone feel bad for ribbing him about his collection of poetry. Not quite a standard character, you can buy him as a support unit for that pivotal scene where the squad is about to get taken out.
I'm sure other countries could have their own war movie teams, for example:
The Heroic Soviet Political Officer-Forever gazing toward the horizon, with the wind blowing through his blond hair, he performs such dubious feats as: Counterbattery fire by catching shells and throwing them back, killing 700 Germans with a toothpick, and paying East Prussian villagers for food.
Thank God the Swedes weren't in the war. We'd have movies where there was no action, and half the characters would commit suicide after 20 minute soliloquies about the pointlessness of it all.
[This message has been edited by Seth (edited 06-01-2000).]
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