Hexed Gamer -> RE: Squad Level Combat? (7/20/2004 8:27:10 AM)
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Hmmm Well I suppose, it is one of those, if I say no, no one will believe me, and if I say yes, well everyone will expect me to go back to being the old me kind of situations isn't it. But sometimes you can't go back. And I guess I am not. Life is about change etc etc etc blah blah blah and a lot of that crap you have all heard before. During the month of June, my life experienced some rather harsh events, and all that said, all the crap surrounding my online activities were puny in comparison. I just didn't have time for petty bullshit. And I had to make some rough decisions. One of them was the old me was being taken out of service. All ancient history though ain't it. I have moved on, done a lot of recovery, basically left a lot of garbage behind. I have lost a lot of things in the process. But among the things I lost and or walked away from, an online nickname was hardly one of the important ones. The old me was useful, but hardly irreplacable. I liked the old me, but, he's gone. I have come to grips with a few issues, learned a few new tricks. Made some resolutions. Blah blah blah, I know only a few people are going to give a flying fiddle dee dee for any of this post. I am really only posting it for them. Those that might wish to insert comments of a put down nature following this post will find I have no problems stomping on their comments. I might do it elsewhere though where I can enjoy it at my leisure. Basically better to just not start if you ask me. And no, it doesn't matter who you are, or what your function is. You're all equal. I haven't "discontinued" my participating on forums totally. I am now just highly selective. I know what my worth is, and it isn't negotiable. I have stopped trying to always be involved. It's really just not worth it. Frankly I was letting it get way out of hand. I have reserved the right to openly be me, or just wear whatever hat that suits me. I am not any one uniform online identity between forums any longer. That has its uses, but it also has its costs. I have come to realise that large commercial forums often come with a sizable price tag. They are often hard to maintain, and hard to monitor. They lack the charm small towns are known for. That's not a flaw, it's just a fact. A forum's volume of traffic does not indicate a forums worth. The sum of a person's post count doesn't infer anything either. The join date means nothing. It's what is discussed and how it is discussed that brings me to a place or makes me leave. It's the measure of the welcome, and it's how well guarded that welcome is kept that ensures my interest. I really don't need any more surprises in my life. People that think I am expendable will find they too can be expendable. Yeah it's Les. Maybe not the Les you thought you knew perhaps. It's a Les that is playing by Les's rules now though. I have been spending most of my time where the air is cleaner and the beer is colder :) I really don't know if DH ever got my email concerning the status of my old account. I sent it during the Origins week (lousy timing). I had planned/thought it best to just say good bye to the old me and asked him to ditch the old account. That it is still there is likely because the man is just to busy. I'm kind of glad the real me is in the MC-SE credits though. I earned that. I won't be suddenly posting a flurry of posts now that I have elected to dispense with denying who I am. If I get any flak over this, well, I have the knowledge that I can be here or not be here. I KNOW how that sounds too. One thing I have added to my rules, is to disregard people that can only misquote, or partially quote, or re interpret, or just plain insist on only reading what they want to read. Don't have time for those people any more. I certainly don't have plans to suffer people convinced of the notion I am an egotistical self righteous elitist bore only interested in hearing the sound of his own voice. I don't make a habit of saying anything with intent to harm. But I do occasionally choose my words poorly. I have a bad habit of offering beta opinions that haven't been properly tested :) If I claim that game type X is stupid, and anyone likeing game type X is stupid, don't take it personal eh. Anyone flying off the handle over one of my posts that might merely be badly phrased, should remember that. I like being helpful. I get a kick out of being helpful. I don't get a kick out of people attacking me for no good reason (but then who does?). I hope everyone enjoys the me that I am today. I like the me that I am today. The me that I am today, calls a spade a spade though. If you can't handle that, I suggest you pass over my posts. Please note, I offer this post freely. I would appreciate it being left intact the way I wrote it. If you must insist on quoting me, quote the entire text as one piece, or don't quote me at all. For all my friends, you have not stopped being my friends. I just needed the space. Ok Gunny I said my peace :) And I better not here one single solitary comment about my "not dropping it" from anyone. I will still be "Hexed Gamer" in the morning. Some know Hexed Gamer as Les.
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