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pasternakski -> RE: Photos of the gang (5/30/2005 5:36:53 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: J P Falcon
quote:
ORIGINAL: UndercoverNotChickenSalad
They might be at The Burning Man Festival.........
From the look of what they have in hand, they may be at the Burning Gerbil Festival.
From Orlando, FL, 2004: two fine young gentlemen wanted to engage in the activity known as "felching" (which requires a gerbil, prompting many of these small animals in pet stores to exclaim, when seeing two human males holding hands enter the store, "Quick. Bark like a dog").
After obtaining the cute little pet, they disrobed. One of them then seized the gerbil by the tail and inserted it head first into the other man's rectal cavity (no, you just think I'm making this up). After some time of enjoying the animal's squirming trying to escape, the first man decided his folsom was fulsome and asked his companion to extract it.
Gentleman #2 had some difficulty locating the animal (the gerbil, not his friend), and lit a match to give himself some light to lead his search. Unfortunately, while in the throes of passion, Gentleman #1 had accumulated a deposit of intestinal gas, which, as all of us who have enjoyed flatus-lighting escapades back in junior high school know, explodes on contact with fire.
The gerbil, fur aflame, was ejected violently from the human oubliette in which it had formerly been confined, causing second-degree burns and other injuries to the face of Gentleman #2 (and I do mean #2).
This has caused me to wonder about the possibility of inventing new weapons systems based on the felching technique (it should be right in line with Donny Rumsfeld's ideas about forming a leaner and meaner army). Instead of "don't ask don't tell," we could form "butt mortar brigades" consisting of male homosexual couples (sort of like the Theban Sacred Band), equipped with toilet paper tubes as artillery barrels.
I can't think of an army in the world (other than, perhaps, the Pakistanis) that would not run in terror from flaming gerbil projectiles ejected from another human's anus.
"Run away! Run away!"
Think of the computer wargame design possibilities (I wouldn't want to wander off topic, of course. By the way, I believe the Japanese had several of these units trained and ready in case of an American invasion in 1922. They were called "upyawazukis." Why they are not represented in WitP, I have no idea. Maybe Braidie knows).
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