Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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*******Babo Field, New Guinea, temporary bivoac 90th BS(M), USAAF, 17:40, May 9 , 1943(b)***** A young man in crisp linen pants and a fine silk shirt listens with his eyes closed to a passage from Mozart's oboe conerto. A tall, hirsute man in a dishevled USAAF uniform with no rank insignia stands in the middle of the tent. M.M.: Yossarian, you uncultured SOB, just shut and listen for a minute. <both men grow quiet. The orchestra seems to answer the solo oboe in a call and response fashion. After a short while, the younger man takes a sip of Port and begins to speak> Ahhhh...that is sublime. Yossarian, you manic SOB, you just need to slow down and enjoy life a bit. Stop worrying so much. Yossarian: Milo, you crazy SOB, I AM trying to enjoy life. It's that crazy SOB Cathcart and the Japanese Navy that have other ideas. There are 5 jap carriers not 450 miles from here and Cathcart volunteered us again to go after them. Do you even know how many Zeroes they will have trying to kill me? Have you ever seen a Zero? They are fast and they have guns. Even worse, they have crazy little yellow bastards inside and they all have order to kill me. And if we get past them, those boys on the ships are not going to be too happy either. M.M.: Yosarian, you crazy, neurotic, SOB, those crazy little yellow bastards don't have orders to kill you personally. Yossarian: Well then, it must be some kind of racial predestiny because when they point their guns at me and pull the trigger, it doesn't matter to me whether it was the Emperor or some bad chemicals that made them do it. They are STILL trying to kill me. M.M.: Yossarian, I underestimated you. "Predestiny"...my, my, my. Let me see if I understand. The Colonel wants you to attack the Japs but the Japs are trying to kill you. You want to live, so you don't want to attack the Japs. The problem is, if you don't attack the Japs, the United States Army Air Force will throw you in Leavenworth. You don't want to go to Leavenworth. Do I have it right so far? Yossarian: Pretty much. I don't want to get killed and do this all over again. M.M.: Yossarian, you are the craziest SOB I know. Did I tell you that? Yossarian: Today, you mean? M.M.: Yossarian, I like you, you crazy SOB. Here is what I am going to do. Do you know what a warrant to purchase is.......
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