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RE: Exotic spices of the Orient - 9/21/2006 5:37:04 AM   
qgaliana

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

Oh dear, oh dear... Yossarian's fallen in love with a Japanese spy...


Clearly, I need to be a little more oblique
You are getting very warm. There is a hint earlier.


Oblique? You mention sodium nitrite in this audience, and everyone reads nitrate... plus you can do some naughty things with nitrite as well

< Message edited by qgaliana -- 9/21/2006 5:48:50 AM >

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RE: Exotic spices of the Orient - 9/21/2006 6:16:19 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: qgaliana

Oblique? You mention sodium nitrite in this audience, and everyone reads nitrate... plus you can do some naughty things with nitrite as well


Poor Yossarian, poor, poor Yossarian. Just when his will was stiffening.




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RE: Exotic spices of the Orient - 9/21/2006 6:56:53 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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Status: offline 		Congrats to Youssarian.

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RE: Exotic spices of the Orient - 9/21/2006 9:51:23 PM   
witpqs


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Status: offline 		Sounds like food poisoning. Lucky Yossarian.

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RE: Exotic spices of the Orient - 9/22/2006 8:06:56 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

Sounds like food poisoning. Lucky Yossarian.


And here I thought it was love.

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RE: Exotic spices of the Orient - 9/23/2006 2:41:40 AM   
BrucePowers


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Status: offline 		Cap;
I have a request. I am starting a game against Terminus tomorrow and I would like to copy a bit of the format from your AAR with your permission. I do not want to use Yossarian but I do like your orders on paper and then copied into the post. Thank you

Bruce Powers

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RE: Exotic spices of the Orient - 9/23/2006 12:39:26 PM   
Terminus


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Status: offline 		Looks like an MS Paint text box. I'm sure he won't mind at all...

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RE: Exotic spices of the Orient - 9/23/2006 3:35:34 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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Status: offline 		Yes, MS Paint....but Bruce is quite right in asking permission to use Mandrake's "intellectual property". I'm sure the idea of propriety never crossed your mind....

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RE: Exotic spices of the Orient - 9/23/2006 4:24:55 PM   
Terminus


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Status: offline 		Shut up, pud...

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RE: Exotic spices of the Orient - 9/23/2006 4:43:01 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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The "Peacemaker" - 9/23/2006 11:43:09 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Status: offline 		Boys, boys, boys! There will be no more quarrelling! Do you want me to call Father Emmanoulides and have him bring the Peacemaker? Is that what you want?

Now, let's continue. I want to talk now about the new school rule banning the possession of cinammon oil toothpicks on campus. The feeling is that these represent a gateway drug to the use of more dangerous drugs and will, therefore not be allowed at all. Any student found with cinammon oil toothpicks in his possession will be subject to immediate expulsion. Is that clear?........


Bruce;

Feel free the use the format as long as you are not a Chicom. Please follow all provisions of the 1999 International Organized Electron Protocol, Appendix IIb

Here is page 2 of Yossarian's January 23(b) letter. I was busy




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RE: More exotic spices of the Orient - 9/25/2006 6:02:09 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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RE: More exotic spices of the Orient - 9/26/2006 5:19:28 AM   
Onime No Kyo


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Status: offline 		Mandrake, you have a tallent for milking suspence for all its worth.

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Comfort - 9/26/2006 6:40:00 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Mandrake, you have a tallent for milking suspence for all its worth.


Yes, Mandrake sorry about that. Monday heap bad day.

page 2




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Eau du Omelette - 9/26/2006 7:38:21 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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RE: Comfort - 9/27/2006 3:40:45 AM   
Onime No Kyo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Yes, Mandrake sorry about that. Monday heap bad day.


You speak truth. I spit in eye of anyone who claim otherwise.


PS....if Yousarian keeps treating his customers like that, I dont hold much hope for his future in the service industry.

< Message edited by Onime No Kyo -- 9/27/2006 3:47:41 AM >

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Mandalay ...Bay? - 9/29/2006 7:48:54 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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Status: offline 		Ever wonder why they named a hotel in Las Vegas the Mandalay Bay when the town is hundreds of miles away from the ocean???

Second question...why am I fighting for a base that is a couple of hundred miles by muddy dirt track from the nearest real road when the enemy can resupply in air-conditioned comfort on the Mandalay Zephyr from Rangoon?

Anyway, 6 rested brigades form a line on the river before Rangoon. For now, they face one infantry division (33rd) and two tank regts. Most of the Jap heavy stuff is in Java, but perhaps one division that participated in the blitz on Singapore is unaccounted for. Headed to the PI? Retained for an amphibious assault on India or Ceylon? Marching to Burma?




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Cartography - 10/2/2006 9:51:54 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Status: offline 		*******Headquarters of Gen Pownall, CIC, SEAC, Impahl, Jan. 15, 1942************


Pownall: Now, what is this about Brigadier Bennett and my alleged contradictory order?
Col. Sycophant: Well, sir, to quote the Brigadier, he says, "I find it physically impossible to acceed to the the General's order to protect Mandalay by guarding the river crossings over the Irrawaddy."
Pownall: Oh Good Lord. Not the tired, old resources complaint again? Every commander is convinced he lacks the resources to do his assigned task. He has 6 brigades, 90% of the Commonwealth regulars in Burma. Ceylon and India are stripped bare. What would he have me do?
Col. Sycophant: That is what I first suspected, as well, sir, but it is a rather more odd reservation he has.
Pownall: I'm listening.
Col. Sycophant: Well, sir, he says Mandalay is in the wrong place.
Pownall: Phht! Wrong place?! I'm afraid he will have to take that up with the Burmese Kings who built the place. Every commander wishes for better ground to fight. There is no point to it. He has his orders. They stand.
Col. Sycophant: No sir, I'm afraid he really means that Mandalay is in the wrong place. According to the official British Army maps, Mandalay is supposed to be North of the Irrawaddy. The General is quite insistent that the town and palace are South and East of the Irrawaddy.





< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 10/2/2006 11:03:55 PM >

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RE: Cartography - 10/3/2006 6:45:42 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Status: offline 		Funny thing is..it seems Sarduker discovered this about 16 hrs before me...no need to change the map. The Royal Engineers are on the job.

http://www.matrixgames.com/forums/tm.asp?m=1263604


******HQ Mandalay Defence Force, Mandaly Palace, Jan. 18, 1942*****

Col. Tinker-Toy, Royal Engineers: Lads, SEAC cannot lay their hands on proper maps either. It seems the entire British Army believes Mandalay to be North of the Irrawaddy. As the order to defned the river stands, the Brigadier has ordered that we change the river to fit the map. I know it sounds absurd, but I believe it might be done.
It will mean a suspension of work on the airfield, but a river line South and East of the town would be a Godsend. I have identified several narrow sections, one small lock and a number berms on the existing Mandalay Canal that will have to be removed, but this is a small task. The greater challenge will be a temporary dam of the Irrawaddy...here <points to his own map>. When we begin to obstruct the flow of the Irrawaddy, she will spill into the Mandaly canal, out through the destroyed berms, flooding the the swampy land East of town, eventually joining the Doktawaddy, South of town, augmenting her flow and creating a water barrier around the town and airfield. Thompson here thinks the dam might last 400 years if we use the right materials...imagine that...400 years <gets all dreamy-eyed and pauses to look toward the river>....Right, any questions up to this point?

Captain Greene-Piece: But sir, what about an EIR? Have you considered salmon spawning?............




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Mint Jam - 10/3/2006 7:11:51 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Status: offline 		Aboard HMAS Orungal, January 28, 300 miles West of Tjilitjap, in the Indian Ocean, destination Colombo, Ceylon

Anne stared at the horizon through a porthole in one of the nicest
staterooms aboard the vessel. Her beauty and her sex seemed always to afford nicer accomodations than might otherwise be accorded her by rank. She took a sip of tea. That was the whole point, wasn't it, beauty and the promise of sex? Men are such simple creatures, she thought. Would her father be proud of her? Yes. Yes, he would, she told herself. She had contributed to fall of Java and of Singapore. Then there was the near escape of the Bismarck. Plus, it really wasn't sex. Her secret spice saw to that. Still, she couldn't shake completely a feeling of discomfort. Not guilt, really, more like pity. Most of her targets were loathesome, but a few were so earnest. What was that one American chap's name, the hirsuit one?

She put it out of her mind and began to spread some of her favorite mint jam on a piece of toast. The engines of the Orungal strained agaisnt an oncoming swell, but she still made 17 kts. The Captain had ordered flank speed to escape the danger of enemy bombers from
Batavia and Sumatra. He needn't have worried, of course, his ship carried a very valuable cargo.


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RE: Mint Jam - 10/3/2006 7:31:02 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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RE: Mint Jam - 10/3/2006 7:34:56 PM   
VSWG


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RE: Mint Jam - 10/3/2006 8:39:34 PM   
Terminus


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RE: Mint Jam - 10/4/2006 1:54:54 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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...and yet, I'm afraid that youre making this issue to be much more than it actually is, Capt. Compared to things like WO 0/0 and the 59 mile bug this is positively simple.

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321st Volunteer Secretary Company - 10/5/2006 5:47:45 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Status: offline 		******With the Heavy Typewriter Platoon, 321 Volunteer Secretary Coy., Jan. 31, 1942*******

<The scene, a converted warehouse in Washington. There is quite a din as 24, air-cooled, Underwood 1939-J's pour out 50-60 WPM>

<One of the more senior typists pauses, a look of concern on her face, something familiar in the text she is working on. She moves quickly to a stack of finished letters and quickly finds what she is looking for. She walks immediately to the office of the Company CO, Capt. Whiteout. She knocks quickly then enters immediately>

Sgt. I.B. Marcos: Sir, I think you need to see this.
Capt. Whiteout: Yes, what is it sargeant?
Sgt. I.B. Marcos: Sir, Its these three letters. All are dated Jan. 29. All with the same last name.
Capt. Whiteout: Are you sure there isn't an error? It is quite an odd last name.
Sgt. I.B. Marcos: I don't believe so sir. The address is exactly the same on all three. Apt 2B, number 3 Matrix St, Framingham, Mass.
Capt. Whiteout: <the same look of concern comes over the Capt.> Oh dear God! Good work, sargeant. I am going to get these to Gen Marshall's offcie ASAP.


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RE: 321st Volunteer Secretary Company - 10/5/2006 5:54:14 PM   
fabertong


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Status: offline 		Ahhhh, the good ole' 321st.....I served with them before the war stationed in Greenland.......memories.....so many memories.......

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Post #: 386
RE: 321st Volunteer Secretary Company - 10/5/2006 6:01:41 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Status: offline 		**************Office of General Marshall, 3 hrs later**************

Major Coverly, Office of Chaplaincy and Bereavement: Sir, I am sorry to take up the General's time, but I do have an urgent matter of great political import to the war effort.
Marshall: Why, that is quite a prologue, Captain. It had better be good.
Major Coverly: Yes sir. If I may sir <moves around to the side of the General's desk with his papers>. It concerns 3 brothers, all in the US Army, all killed on the same day. The first near Java, the second in the Battle of Changsha, China and the third lost while piloting a PBY out of Canton Is. <the General sighed audibly, a weighty sigh of command responsibility..Coverly continues> Sir, I have taken the liberty of searching Army personnel records for any siblings. It is quite astonishing. <hands list to Gen. Marshall>




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RE: 321st Volunteer Secretary Company - 10/5/2006 6:10:37 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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RE: 321st Volunteer Secretary Company - 10/6/2006 1:59:29 AM   
ny59giants


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Status: offline 		How are all you Admiral's using CL Boise and her sister ships??
I usually send them out from Pearl as single ship SC TF as soon as possible to the Solomons/SRA to keep the lightly escorted Japanese TF's honest.


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RE: 321st Volunteer Secretary Company - 10/6/2006 3:15:22 AM   
Onime No Kyo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

******With the Heavy Typewriter Platoon, 321 Volunteer Secretary Coy., Jan. 31, 1942*******

<The scene, a converted warehouse in Washington. There is quite a din as 24, air-cooled, Underwood 1939-J's pour out 50-60 WPM>

<One of the more senior typists pauses, a look of concern on her face, something familiar in the text she is working on. She moves quickly to a stack of finished letters and quickly finds what she is looking for. She walks immediately to the office of the Company CO, Capt. Whiteout. She knocks quickly then enters immediately>

Sgt. I.B. Marcos: Sir, I think you need to see this.
Capt. Whiteout: Yes, what is it sargeant?
Sgt. I.B. Marcos: Sir, Its these three letters. All are dated Jan. 29. All with the same last name.
Capt. Whiteout: Are you sure there isn't an error? It is quite an odd last name.
Sgt. I.B. Marcos: I don't believe so sir. The address is exactly the same on all three. Apt 2B, number 3 Matrix St, Framingham, Mass.
Capt. Whiteout: <the same look of concern comes over the Capt.> Oh dear God! Good work, sargeant. I am going to get these to Gen Marshall's offcie ASAP.


Hmm...I wonder what this is in reference too?

Oh well, but it would make a good movie, I bet.


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