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RE: The machine starts to move - 10/31/2006 9:18:15 PM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
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Status: offline 		Or maybe ER...

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We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

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RE: The machine starts to move - 10/31/2006 9:28:03 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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RE: The machine starts to move - 10/31/2006 9:49:16 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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RE: The machine starts to move - 10/31/2006 10:38:41 PM   
Terminus


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Status: offline 		"Chrome Dome"... Ga-harf!

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We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

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Post #: 424
RE: The machine starts to move - 11/1/2006 2:02:37 PM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
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Status: offline 		The Pope!! Mandrake has outdone himself this time...

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Post #: 425
RE: The machine starts to move - 11/1/2006 2:30:32 PM   
Terminus


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Joined: 4/23/2005
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Status: offline 		Heh... Now we just need a letter from Lord Kido, and we're set...

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We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

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Post #: 426
Yellow Journalism - 11/3/2006 4:36:55 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		********ABDA HQ, SOERABAJA, JAVA, FEB. 16, 1942**************


<An obviously angry Gen. Wavell emerges from his office with a newspaper in his hands>

Gen Wavell: "Alright, please tell me who is in command here? Was someone going to tell me about the fall of Menado or was this a secret?"

Captain De Graff: "Menado sir? I'm quite sure there has been some mistake. I just spoke to Col Van Dike. Their lines are holding."

Gen Wavell: "I am pleased to hear that Captain, but do you have an explanation for this article in the....Soerabaja Free Press?
Get me the editor of this rag in here now!"




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< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 11/3/2006 4:55:14 AM >

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Post #: 427
RE: Yellow Journalism - 11/3/2006 4:50:00 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		**********One Hour Later**********

Gen. Wavell: "Do you have an explanation for this completely inaccurate piece of reporting? Don't you chaps check your facts? This is serious business. Do you realize what this does to morale? Why, just look at this, it reads like a propaganda piece from Tokyo Rose. Where is the balance? Where is the cross checking of facts? I'll have you know Menado is still in Allied hands. This is the most irresponsible piece of journalsim I think I have ever seen."

Mr. Merin, Editor: "Oh, yeah that. Well, you see, its from an independent dude in Sulawese. It comes in, like this big envelope that says M&M on it. We don't really have a big staff so we can't check on all this ****".

Gen. Wavell: "Young man, all this ****, as you so colloquially put it, is a war. This is serious. Perhaps you are in over your head. The story is so egregiously wrong, one imagines it could be intentional........Oh, dear God."

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 428
RE: Yellow Journalism - 11/3/2006 4:57:23 AM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
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From: Argleton
Status: offline 		Sync problem, huh?

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Post #: 429
RE: Yellow Journalism - 11/3/2006 6:28:36 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

Sync problem, huh?


Holy Heck..you guys are good! But you have missed an opportunity on the English professor.


(in reply to witpqs)
Post #: 430
Bloody unsporting, eh? - 11/3/2006 6:47:35 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
Status: offline 		In the middle of Winter, and beyond recon range...a Jap surface force shows up in Dutch Harbor. Perhaps they had bombard orders and chanced upon USS Musitn and Anderson an AK and the unfortunate Minesweeper, Oriole.




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Post #: 431
RE: Bloody unsporting, eh? - 11/3/2006 4:15:12 PM   
qgaliana

 

Posts: 311
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Status: offline 		Opporutnity? What English professor - Tolkien earlier?

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Post #: 432
RE: Bloody unsporting, eh? - 11/3/2006 4:46:21 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: qgaliana

Opporutnity? What English professor - Tolkien earlier?


Just checking

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RE: The machine starts to move - 11/3/2006 5:39:51 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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RE: The machine starts to move - 11/3/2006 7:15:49 PM   
rtrapasso


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Status: offline 		He got in Lord Kiddo!!!


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Post #: 435
RE: The machine starts to move - 11/6/2006 6:12:57 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		****Weekly National Security Council Meeting, Feb. 18, 1942******
**********The White House (which is white and is a house*************

Present:
POTUS
VPOTUS
Sec of War, Stimson
Sec of State, Hull
Admiral King
General Marshall
FBI Director Hoover

FDR: "George, why don't you start off with a report on the O brothers."

Marshall: "I would prefer General Marshall, Mr. President."

FDR: <winces slightly then forces his lips into a desultory patrician smile. To himself he thinks, "Mary Mother of Jesus what an insufferable primadonna. I don't know how he and MacArthur can be in the same room without depleting the oxygen supply. At least I'll be rid of MacArthur soon. War Plan Orange...oh that is rich!"> "Of course, General Marshall, my error, please proceed".

Marshall: "Thank you, Mr. President. I believe we have, with some difficulty, located all of the surviving O brothers. All were Warrant Officers in the US Army. A most extraordinary family. Simply amazing dedication and work ethic. We had the most diffculty
finding Steven. He had been reported lost at sea in the Atlantic after the freighter he was commanding, the Sault St Marie, was torpedoed off the Azores. Warrant Officer O apparently refused to board the lifeboat until all crewmemebers were safe. As the ship slipped under the waves, he was apparently entangled in some rigging and was pulled under."

FDR: "Most tragic, General. A brave American, but you said you located him?"

Marshall: "Yes sir. It seems his mother returned his posthumous purple heart and Silver Star. She was still receiving mail from him in Africa. In an epic story that I scarcely believe even now....."


OK...gotta go to work..to be continued




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Post #: 436
RE: The machine starts to move - 11/6/2006 10:35:52 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
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Marshall: "Yes sir. It seems his mother returned his posthumous purple heart and Silver Star. She was still receiving mail from him in Africa. In an epic story that I scarcely believe even now, he somehow managed to free himself from his entanglement but was separated from the lifeboat, which had pulled away for safety. The young lad found himself some flotsam and began navigating toward Africa by the stars. Astonishingly, he missed the West coast of Africa, instead passing through the Straight of Gibraltar in the fog. 4 days later he washed up on a Tunisian beach and immediately set about to find a military unit to which to report. He chanced upon a recon company of the Afrika Korps and was immediately taken prisoner. As his story was so implausible, and given that he had used his uniform to make a sail, he was taken for a spy. He was sentenced to die and was given only a German language Bible for comfort. <gradually, everyone in the room is seen to be leaning forward, Marshall pauses for dramtic emphasis>

FDR: "Please continue, General".

Marshall: Yes sir. Well, it appears the execution order was not promptly carried out, so young Steven began to teach himself German using only the German Bible and his very thorough memory of the English version. When the execution party came for him 4 days later, young Warrant Officer O recited his own German translation of Siegfied Sasson's World War I poem, 'How to Die';

'Dark clouds are smouldering into red
While down the craters morning burns.
The dying soldier shifts his head
To watch the glory that returns;
He lifts his fingers toward the skies
Where holy brightness breaks in flame;
Radiance reflected in his eyes,
And on his lips a whispered name.

You'd think, to hear some people talk,
That lads go West with sobs and curses,
And sullen faces white as chalk,
Hankering for wreaths and tombs and hearses.
But they've been taught the way to do it
Like Christian soldiers; not with haste
And shuddering groans; but passing through it
With due regard for decent taste.'

<a faint sobbing sound was heard to come from Truman's direction>

At once moved by the poem and astonished at the Warrant Officer's courage and genius in the mastery of his language, the officer in charge of the firing squad postponed the execution and reported to his superiors. Steven was inducted into the Heer and, within 2 months was in command of 15th Panzer. General Rommel was quite upset when the young man was recalled to the US, but did take the time to write him a very nice referral letter."

FDR: "General, that is extraordinary! Make sure nothing happens to that young man. We could finance half the war effort with the War Bonds he could sell in a month. We would have to omit the Afrika Korps stint, but still..just think about it."

Marshall: "Yes sir. All the sons are like him. They are forces of nature. We had them confined to base at Fort Dix, but they kept volunteering for things. We finally had to lock them all in a big airship hanger to keep them out of danger. We perhaps should have anticipated this, but they became bored, found some old paint and, within two hours had done quite a fine camoflage paint job on the INSIDE of the hanger using only mops and sponges."

To be continued




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Post #: 437
RE: The machine starts to move - 11/6/2006 10:40:03 PM   
Terminus


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Status: offline 		Herr Warrant Officer Steven 0, commanding General, 15th Panzer Division!!!

<That's inspired, Mandrake>

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Post #: 438
RE: The machine starts to move - 11/7/2006 12:33:10 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		(Cont)

FDR: "Most extraordinary, General. Simply astounding. And what of the parents? How are they handling the loss of 3 sons in one day?"

Marshall: "Quite well, Mr. President. To be honest, I'm not sure Mrs. O knew precisely how many she had. She is relieved to have the survivors home."

FDR: "And Mr. O?"

Marshall: "He passed away, Mr. President, but it seems his sons followed in his footsteps. I am sure none will be surprised to learn his rank in WWI or that he was in command of the Marines at Belleau Wood. Apparently, he took up religion after the war, as he was said to have died in the missionary position at the moment of conception of his last son."

<General laughter around the room..except for Mr. Truman, who has a perplexed look on his face>

Truman: "I don't get it. What's so funny?"

FDR: "He died during coitus, Harry."

Truman: "Oh, yes, coitus, my father-in-law used to get that all the time."

<embarassed silence..FDR breaks the stillness>

FDR: "Sec. Hull, perhaps you could update us on the Japanese proposal."

Hull: "Yes, Mr. President. Lord Kido has proposed to hand over Tokyo Rose in exchange for the release of a certain.....<consults notes>....Staff Sargeant Milo Minderbinder."

FDR: "Minderbinder...Minderbinder? I have just had a very odd sensation of deja vu. <turns to Truman> Harry, would you be kind enough to ask the chef to prepare some kind of salty sea food and some lemonade and tea? <Truman nods, then gets up to leave>...Thank you Harry, there's a good man."


(Cont)

I need to get some real work done. Reality bites, eh?

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Post #: 439
RE: The machine starts to move - 11/7/2006 12:47:29 AM   
scott64


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Lucky for you, tonight it's just me


Any ship can be a minesweeper..once !! :)

http://suspenseandmystery.blogspot.com/

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Post #: 440
RE: The machine starts to move - 11/7/2006 8:03:10 AM   
Alfred

 

Posts: 6685
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		Cap Mandrake,

Am enjoying very much your literary creations.  Were you a script writer for MASH?

Nonetheless, I think you will find that Trueman was not VPOTUS in 1942.

Keep up the good work.  You could pitch this plot to Hollywood.  If so, which actors would you pick to play the leading characters.

Alfred

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Post #: 441
RE: The machine starts to move - 11/7/2006 10:24:49 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Thanks Alfred!



(Cont.)

<After Truman leaves the room, Marshall speaks up>

Marshall: Mr. President, I understand it is your meeting, but sir, must the Senator attend? I am concerned that his membership on the Senate War Investigation Committee might represent a conflict of interest and he has not endeared himself to many of us with his puerile interruptions. Finally, there is the issue of the new Stuart upholstery project. I cannot tolerate a bunch of grandstanding roosters in the Senate crowing about the cost of a couple of yards of leather so my tankers will having something comfortable in which to go to battle. Isn't the threat of being decaptitated by molten tungsten enough?

FDR: General, I am confused. I thought YOU asked for him to be admitted to the committee. I was surprised myself. Frankly, I think
Henry Wallace was a bit miffed over his omission.

Marshall: <A look of shock, then anger comes over his face> No sir, Mr. President! I can only surmise your secretary mistook my list of those to be ABSOLUTELY EXCLUDED from the committee to be an endorsement of Sen. Truman. <The other members shift incomfortably in their seats, wondering if they also we on the exclusion list. As a consequence, not one excuses themselves from the meeting to use the lavatory for the entire duration of the meeting, despite the fact that several are elderly and have prostate problems. They cannot risk the discussion turning to them should they leave the room.>


(Cont)

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 11/7/2006 10:29:07 PM >

(in reply to Alfred)
Post #: 442
RE: The machine starts to move - 11/7/2006 10:42:10 PM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		Ka-Pwing! Deftly handled as always, Mandrake!

_____________________________

We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

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Post #: 443
RE: The machine starts to move - 11/8/2006 12:08:11 AM   
VSWG


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Marshall:<The other members shift incomfortably in their seats, wondering if they also we on the exclusion list. As a consequence, not one excuses themselves from the meeting to use the lavatory for the entire duration of the meeting, despite the fact that several are elderly and have prostate problems. They cannot risk the discussion turning to them should they leave the room.>

Hilarious!

_____________________________


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Post #: 444
RE: The machine starts to move - 11/9/2006 2:30:21 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
Status: offline 		(Cont)

FDR: Well, now that we have that issue cleared up, I don't suppose you have any other suggestions about the composition of the committee? <this time there is a real smile>

Marshall: I'd prefer not to discuss that at this time, Mr. President. <now the squirming in the room from uncomfortably full bladders becomes acutely exacerbated by the likely possibility of a future banishment. Mr. Hoover seems particularly discomfited. He is, but it has nothing to do with micturation needs or social embarassment. A new garter he secretly wears under his trousers has seriously exceeded its' design limitations, causing distress with the slightest movement>

FDR: Very well. I believe I will, at this time, exercise a Presidential prerogative. If you will excuse me gentlemen. <he picks up the Secret Service phone and speaks into it, making no effort to conceal his conversation> Yes, James, when Senator Truman returns, please inform him that no admission to the conference room is permitted without his security badge. He will protest, of course, saying that he was already in the conference and that he left his jacket in the room when I sent him out for some salty snacks and drinks. He will ask if you realize he is a United States Senator. You should be polite, but you are not to allow him back in, even if spittle gathers at the corner of his mouth and he curses your mother. Tell him it is Presidential Directive...<waves hand in air, then covers the phone and, in a remarkable example of pop-culture prescience does the Jeopardy contestant theme...'dum dum dum dum...dum Dum dum..dum Dum dum dum Dum dumdudmdum'>...ahhh....1328. Yes, 1328. Got that James? <nervous laughter in the room at Truman's soon to be predicament. Nobody gets the Jeapordy joke as television isn't even in widespread use yet, but when the President tries to make a funny, one would be well advised to laugh at it, especially when he is chanelling the Queen of Hearts from a Lewis Caroll book>...Oh, and James, please have Rogelio bring the snacks throught the East door without alerting Mr. Hoover. <the President turns to the group, obviously quite pleased with himself>...You know, the best thing about winning the Spanish American War was the great Filippino cooks who came to work at the White House. I can't wait for the salty seafood snacks. Now, who has more on this Minderbinder fellow?


(Cont)



< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 11/11/2006 5:54:11 PM >

(in reply to VSWG)
Post #: 445
RE: The machine starts to move - 11/11/2006 6:29:38 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Wow...what a week. Remind me to recount later the story of my further battles with the homeowner association. Meawhile, back in Washington,
with Truman now certainly throwing a fit outside the room, the deliberations continue.

(cont)

Hoover: I can take that, Mr. President. Here's what we have on him. He is currently in the custody of Scotland Yard and is being transported to Perth. Their aim is to bring him out around the Cape of Good Hope as, with Japanese carriers about in the Indian Ocean, there is no other safe route. Their primary interest in him is for his alleged participation in the Nazi spy ring of Dagmar Wynter, but interestingly, after his arrest, I have received no further complaints of false war reports. He is represented by the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe whose specialty is the representation of the wealthy in foreign adoptions and copyright law. We have discovered a likely connection to Sargeant Minderbinder in Gilroy, Calif. An Australian Lt., a pilot, hs funded an election campaign to elect Sgt Minderbinder to the Congress for the Gilroy district. The young Lt. is apparently quite skilled at betting on the horses and has garnered quite a following for Sgt. Minderbinder by funding public work projects around town. These consist mostly of murals with sayings such as "The Color of Scarcity is Green" or "Live Better, Start a Company". Sgt. Minderbinder is quite beloved even though he has never been to the town. By all accounts, he may unseat the sitting Democrat.

FDR: A most clever strategy. I should like to have him as an ally. Please continue.

Hoover: Yes sir. We did find one existing FBI inquiry on him, a very curious matter titled "G0-GAN". Even more curiously, the entries are dated April through August..of 1942 and always have the appendix "(a)" after the date! I believe this to be some kind of inside prank by disgruntled FBI agents. I have therefore ordered that all future FBI hires be practicing Mormons. Adm. King, has Adm. Spruance ever gone missing to your knowledge or has he taken an interest in native costumes of the South Pacific?

Adm. King: No, I am quite sure I would have known of something like that. Mr. President, I should like to add that, even though the false reports have caused some confusion and, naturally have irritated local commanders, they are occaisionaly quite prescient. Take, for example, the report from USS Detroit on Feb. 15. Shortly after dawn on that morning, she reported an attack and heavy damage by Japanese carrier planes while standing off Palmyra. Naturally, this caused quite a stir at CentPac. Search assets were sent to locate the enemy vessels and rescue the crew of Detroit. The Detroit was found to perfectly intact. The false report was traced to a radioman aboard Detroit who reports that he was paid in cash to report the messages contained in a large Manila envelope marked "M&M Enterprises". Most curiously, however, even though Detroit was undamaged, search efforts the next morning DID reveal a Japanese carrier task force SSE of Palmyra. I believe Gen. Marshall has other examples of false reports which seem to predate real events.


(cont)

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 446
RE: The machine starts to move - 11/11/2006 7:53:09 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
Status: offline 		(cont.)

Marshall: Yes Admiral, I do. This comes from ABDA. Again from the 16th of February. A small paper in Soerabja published a report of the fall of Menado, in Sulawese. It proved completely false, much to the consternation of Gen. Wavell, but the VERY NEXT day, Menado DID fall in a fashion similar to that described in the article. It is as if the report were shifted in time and, consequently, offered valuable intelligence reagrding enemy intentions. Admittedly, this would take some study to hone our ability to separate the wheat from the chaff, but I would strongly advocate for the trade for Sgt. Minderbinder.

Adm. King: I concur. We mustn't underestimate the ability to feed the enemy false information via this route, as well. He could be a valuable double agent.

FDR: I am inclined to agree, though I am not sure 'double agent' is the correct terminology. I suspect 'broker' might be more accurate.
I, for one, don't blame the man based on the information so far. He seems rather more the entrepenuer. After all, that is what we are fighting for, Capitalism, eh?

Hull: Sir, wasn't it Democracy, Mr. President?

FDR: Oh come now. Let's be honest. Its about Capitalsim, but we can't tell old Joe Stalin can we? <nevous laughter> Very well then, I will speak to Mr. Churchill and we all shall be in the news business. By the way, if Truman should ask, tell him we talked about baseball after he left.

All: Yes sir. <Stimson timidly raises his hand>

FDR: Yes, Henry. What is it? We haven't heard from you.

Stimson: Yes, Mr. President. I just wanted to know..if I may...if I might use the restroom?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 447
Netherlands Ex.. - 11/12/2006 9:41:58 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Status: offline 		....when it absolutely, positively has to be there in about 2 years.

I was moving a damaged Dutch Naval Base unit across Oz. I guess I had "allow replacements" on.....DOH!





*************Charter Towers Aerodrome, Queensland, Australia, Feb., 22, 1942 (b)*********


Lt. Col. Van Meter, CO., 3rd Dutch Naval Support Bn: What shall I do with a fixed 150 mm coastal defence gun 100 km from the nearest body of water? We've orders to move to Cairns. Can't you just ship it to Cairns?

Netherlands Ex Driver (wearing orange shorts, cap and shirt: Afraid not Colonel. The delivery order says 3rd Dutch Naval Base Bn. There would be nobody there to sign for it.

Lt. Col. Van Meter: Look, can't you just do doorside drop off?

Netherlands Ex Driver: No sir. I'm afraid that neighborhood is not rated for doorside drop off.

Lt. Col. Van Meter: What neighborhood is that?

Netherlands Ex Driver: Australia, sir.

Lt. Col. Van Meter: Australia isn't a neighborhood, its an entire continent. The entire continent of Australia is not rated for doorside drop off?

Netherlands Ex Driver: Well, sir, we don't deliver here very often.

Lt. Col. Van Meter: I shouldn't wonder. But, honestly, let's examine this rationally, who is going to take an 8 ton gun without wheels?

Netherlands Ex Driver:Sorry sir. Regualtions you know.

Lt. Col. Van Meter: Regulations? Look, my men have just come out of Java on a 30 year old freighter with Jap dive bombers overhead. Don't tell me about regulations.

Netherlands Ex Driver: Sorry sir. I've my job to worry about.

Lt. Col. Van Meter: <rubs temples, grimmacing> Very well, how about this? Cant you just wait 4-5 days till we get to Cairns?

Netherlands Ex Driver: Sorry sir. I've a schedule to keep.

Lt. Col. Van Meter: SCHEDULE! SCHEDULE? THIS ORDER IS DATED MAY 1939! YOU ARE 2 1/2 YEARS LATE AND NOW YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE ME GRIEF OVER 4 @##$%!%! DAYS!?

Netherlands Ex Driver: Well, sir. There IS a war on.

Lt. Col. Van Meter: <his Northern European face is now quite flushed with a Southern hemisphere Summer and no small measure of anger> Look, what if I order a delivery to Cairns, could you do that then?

Netherlands Ex Driver: Certainly, sir. We aim to please. <with total earnestness>


Lt. Col. Van Meter: Bloody fantastic! How do I do that?

Netherlands Ex Driver: Well, you need only contact corporate
headquarters, give them your specifics and pay the delivery fee.

Lt. Col. Van Meter: Magnificent! How do I reach them?

Netherlands Ex Driver: No. 32, Zuyder Zee Ave, Amsterdam.

Lt. Col. Van Meter: Superb! Can I order by phone then?

Netherlands Ex Driver: Yes, of course, but not today.

Lt. Col. Van Meter: Ah, yes, Sunday in Europe. Tomorrow then?

Netherlands Ex Driver: Sorry sir. Not likely.

Lt. Col. Van Meter: Why is that then?

Netherlands Ex Driver: Why, its the war sir. The Nazis occupied Amsterdam. We are closed for the duration of the war, sir. Much too dangerous.

Lt. Col. Van Meter: <he becomes quite crimson, nearly matching the driver's uniform> Why didn't you tell me that earlier, then?

Netherlands Ex Driver: Why, you never asked sir.

Lt. Col. Van Meter: OH DEAR GOD! JUST GIVE ME THE DAMNABLE FORM TO SIGN!

Netherlands Ex Driver: <smiles broadly while offering the form to sign> Where would you like it, sir?

Lt. Col. Van Meter: Like what?

Netherlands Ex Driver: Why, the gun sir?

Lt. Col. Van Meter: Do you really think it matters? <recognizes the futility> Oh, very well, just put it on the side of the runway closest to the ocean.

Netherlands Ex Driver:Which ocean would that be sir?.....







< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 11/12/2006 9:45:30 PM >

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The brewery line - 11/12/2006 11:42:00 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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From: Southern California
Status: offline 		when the Japs got near MacArthur's San Miguel Brewery...the defence stiffened




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Investment opportunity - 11/14/2006 8:25:13 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Status: offline 		SCENE: Feb. 26, 1942, Aboard a train in the Outback, headed toward Perth. The car is empty except for Staff Sgt. Minderbinder and Inspectors Wight and Pound of Scotland Yard. The prisoner is shackled. We join them in friendly conversation despite the chains.

MM: How good is your pension? Are you set up well?

Wight: It is fair, though not overly generous. I shouldn't complain given the sacrifices of our men in the military.

Pound: I have a son at Oxford. I shan't be retiring any time soon.

MM: Right, so let me ask you boys. Have you ever heard of the pyramids?.......

<10 minutes later>

Pound: Let me see if I understand. We each buy one share at $20 and pay that to you, then we each sell two shares for $20, keep
$10 for each share sold and give the other $10 for each share to you?

MM: Precisely! In that way, your original investment will be recouped after only two sales. Then when your two investors sell their shares, you will receive $80. You keep $40 and send the remainder to your investor parent. Before long, your greatest exertion will be making frequent bank deposits.

Wight: Its brilliant! Count me in! <plunks down $20>

Pound: I am in as well. Can you imagine how many will be sold in Australia alone? <does the same>

Wight: It might be 20 miliion!

Pound: It is a very large number, but I don't believe the population is that high.

Wight: Oh, I'm quite sure it is.

Pound: No it isn't.

Wight: Do you have reference to support that?

Pound: Take a look outside. Do you see anyone?

Wight: That's not quite fair. We are in the middle of a desert.

Pound: We are in the Outback.

Wight: But isn't the Outback a desert?

Pound: No, technically I believe it is not.

Wight: It most certainly is.

Pound: Is not.

Wight: Is too.

Pound: No, no, no. It is a question of rainfall.

MM: Gentlemen, can one of you unlock me so I can use the head? <Pound begins unlocking the shackles, Milo pockets the money>

Wight: I believe it is a question of heat.

Pound: No it isn't...........


_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
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