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RE: Naval treaty of 1925 - 6/2/2007 10:28:19 PM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
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(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 961
RE: Naval treaty of 1925 - 6/2/2007 10:59:25 PM   
AmiralLaurent

 

Posts: 3351
Joined: 3/11/2003
From: Near Paris, France
Status: offline 		Cap, you are always so good to turn WITP bugs and simulation choices into funny and ironic stories.

But this time you're wrong. A sub may attack several times in the same phase. In fact each sub will test during the naval movement phase, during the CV reaction phase (if a CV reacts in her hex), during the surface combat phase and ruing each of the "damage adjustement" phases.

My personnal record had been 3 attacks on the same convoy by the same submarine in the PM phase. But maybe it was just a war crime...

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 962
RE: Naval treaty of 1925 - 6/2/2007 11:07:03 PM   
Helpless


Posts: 15793
Joined: 8/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Lt. Commander Besancon: To a large extent, you are right son, but there is section XI A, paragraph 1....<looks up and to his left to search his memory>..."no submersible craft may fire its torpedoes more than once per AM and PM phase...yada yada yada". I realize the enemy have behaved in a bestial fashion, at times, but that does not mean we shall wallow in the mire with them.

XO: Ah, yes sir. Sorry. Does the "PM phase" begin at noon, sir?

Lt. Commander Besancon: Hmmm...good question. SEAMAN DE BAUN! Go to my cabin and fetch the Naval Treaty of 1925...........


Can't resist...

_____________________________

Pavel Zagzin
WITE/WITW/WITE-2 Development

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 963
von Draemel...err... I mean Admiral Draemel - 6/2/2007 11:20:11 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		***********The Bridge of the Dutch Merchantman, Tjikarang, at anchor, Port Moresby harbor, 13:20, July 8, 1942*************

Admiral Draemel picks up a fresh baked raisin roll with the undamaged fingers of his left land. He is beginning to like the ship and crew, and well he should for the crew of the Tjikarangare treating him like a king, especially since he has apparently broken his jinx, it now having been two days since a ship has been shot out from under him. The real reason is Port Morseby has fallen to the Australian 1st Corps after a sharp attack. The enemy are now concentrating on the airfields, which, in a major departure from plans, are too damaged to permit RAAF Kittyhawks to operate. Some Kittyhawks came in yesterday, but were chewed up on the ground and have now been evacuated. The harbor is completely wrecked so the crew are laboriously off-loading supplies to longboats for transfer to shore. Still, things are looking up. The ships tailor has let out the Admirals cuffs and repaired his seam so that neither his hairless shins nor the knee length underware his sister knitted for him are showing. He has even learned a few Dutch words. He savors a sip of fresh coffee until the calm is shattered by a report, "many bombers, North northeast!" They are the familiar Bettys, at least a dozen. He well knows what comes next. The Captain yells, "torpedoes in the water! All boats stand clear. Prepare to make steam."

They are doomed, of course. The Admiral can see the bubble trails in the water now, even with his imperfect 65 year old eyes. One seems headed at him personally. As if an epiphany, it dawns on him, "The japs are trying to kill me! They are trying to kill ME!" He begins to sing with vigor:

Ob's stürmt oder schneit,
Ob die Sonne uns lacht,
Der Tag glühend heiß
Oder eiskalt die Nacht.
Bestaubt sind die Gesichter..........


< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 6/2/2007 11:26:06 PM >

(in reply to Cuttlefish)
Post #: 964
RE: Naval treaty of 1925 - 6/3/2007 12:11:42 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AmiralLaurent

But this time you're wrong. A sub may attack several times in the same phase. In fact each sub will test during the naval movement phase, during the CV reaction phase (if a CV reacts in her hex), during the surface combat phase and ruing each of the "damage adjustement" phases.

My personnal record had been 3 attacks on the same convoy by the same submarine in the PM phase. But maybe it was just a war crime...
"war crime"

***********Conning Room, RNN submarine KXVII, off Geraldton, Western Australia, 08:28, July 13, 1942********************


<the tension is palpable as enemy destroyers bear down on the suspected position of KXVII. The Captain and his exec pour over the worn copy of the 1925 Naval Treaty>

Sailor with headphones:Sonar reports contact bearing 40 degrees, closing fast!

Lt. Commander Besancon: Come left to course 220! Bring us to periscope depth! Have after torpedo room stand by.

Sailor with headphones: Aye sir! Course 220! Depth 20 meters.

Exec: Sir! I think I have it! Appendix to section XII A, page 338. <begins reading> "...this proscription shall not apply during the CV reaction phase.."

Lt. Commander Besancon: Skip on down! No carriers here. We don't have time!

Exec: "...or during the Surface Combat Phase..." <they look at each other and simultaneously shake their heads in the negative> "....or in the damage adjustment phase, or in the.."

Lt. Commander Besancon: WAIT! Read that again!

Exec: "..or in the damage adjustment phase.."

Lt. Commander Besancon: THAT'S IT! Would you say that enemy destroyer has been damaged?

Exec: Yes sir!

Lt. Commander Besancon: And would you say they are making an adjustment to that damage?

Exec: Yes sir. It would only be prudent.

Lt. Commander Besancon: I concur! This will be a bow-on shot. We've no time for a solution. Make the target course 220 and speed 30 kts. I will give you a range. Periscope up!




< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 6/3/2007 12:12:08 AM >

(in reply to AmiralLaurent)
Post #: 965
RE: Naval treaty of 1925 - 6/3/2007 12:30:08 AM   
timtom


Posts: 2358
Joined: 1/29/2003
From: Aarhus, Denmark
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AmiralLaurent
Cap, you are always so good to turn WITP bugs and simulation choices into funny and ironic stories.


Matrix should hire on Cap as their PR man and have him teach the multitudes to love bugs!



_____________________________

Where's the Any key?


(in reply to AmiralLaurent)
Post #: 966
RE: Naval treaty of 1925 - 6/3/2007 10:55:22 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: timtom

Matrix should hire on Cap as their PR man and have him teach the multitudes to love bugs!




Hey cool idea. My daughter wants to stay in LA during the summer to try to get a part in a play or an unpayed internship. I will need the money.

General Saviges' plan for the defense of Perth. Fortunately, the old bastard never did believe in the Naval Treaty of 1925 so he built some fortifications along the Moore River guarding the Northerly approaches to Perth lest the Japs decide to comit a war crime by landing over a non green-dot beach




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< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 6/3/2007 10:57:59 PM >

(in reply to timtom)
Post #: 967
Mandrake's personal photos and stuff - 6/4/2007 8:57:13 AM   
tabpub


Posts: 1019
Joined: 8/10/2003
From: The Greater Chicagoland Area
Status: offline 		Here's some personal snaps of Mandrake and his cronies at work, with attached memorandums.
I think that we could subtitle the AAR to "How I learned to quit worrying and love the War(in the Pacific)"






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_____________________________

Sing to the tune of "Man on the Flying Trapeze"
..Oh! We fly o'er the treetops with inches to spare,
There's smoke in the cockpit and gray in my hair.
The tracers look fine as a strafin' we go.
But, brother, we're TOO God damn low...

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 968
RE: von Draemel...err... I mean Admiral Draemel - 6/4/2007 8:21:41 PM   
Moondawggie


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
Status: offline 		So there I was:  daydreaming that I was looking at the "Leadership" and "Inspiration" scores in WITP's updated version 5.0, searching for a commander to replace Bull Halsey who managed to get himself and the Lex killed early on in another universe, and for the first time I notice that there's this "TM" value assigned each leader, too. 

And who should score a perfect 100 in "TM," more than any other officer?    Our beloved Admiral Milo Draemel, WITP's own premier Torpedo Magnet...



_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to tabpub)
Post #: 969
The Leper Colony - 6/5/2007 7:34:11 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		********Aboard Leper Colony, lead plane in a box formation of B-17E's of 19th BG(H), 110 mi North of Perth**************



Major Kong: <keys his mike> Now look, boys. I ain't much of a hand at makin' speeches. But I got a pretty fair idea that somethin' doggoned important's going on up there. And I got a fair idea of the kind of personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human beins if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelings about nookular...check that, convential high explosives. But I want you to remember one thing - the folks back in Perth is a countin' on ya, and by golly, we ain't about to let 'em down. Tell ya somethin' else - this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions an' personal citations when this thing's over with. That goes for every last one of ya, regardless of your race, color, or your creed. Now, let's get this thing on the hump. We got some flyin' to do.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 6/5/2007 7:35:17 PM >

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 970
RE: von Draemel...err... I mean Admiral Draemel - 6/5/2007 7:39:30 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

So there I was: daydreaming that I was looking at the "Leadership" and "Inspiration" scores in WITP's updated version 5.0, searching for a commander to replace Bull Halsey who managed to get himself and the Lex killed early on in another universe, and for the first time I notice that there's this "TM" value assigned each leader, too.

And who should score a perfect 100 in "TM," more than any other officer? Our beloved Admiral Milo Draemel, WITP's own premier Torpedo Magnet...




Wow..he has a 100 rating? I would have thought that the two days he spent aboard Tjikarang without an attack would have hurt him. Perhaps this was offset by the fact that Honolulu and Adelaide were torpedoed within one 24 hr period while he was aboard.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 6/6/2007 5:34:59 PM >

(in reply to Moondawggie)
Post #: 971
Emergency Kit - 6/5/2007 7:52:15 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		********Aboard Leper Colony, 150 mi North of Perth**************

<sobered by an anticipated rough reception over their target, Major Kong examines the USAAF Emergency Survial Kit, 237X(S)/42>

Major Kong: - one .45 caliber sidearm
- two boxes of ammunition
- four days' concentrated emergency rations
- one drug issue containing sulfa powder, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
- one miniature combination Japanese phrase book and Bible
- one hundred dollars in yen
- one hundred dollars in lost Philippino gold
- nine packs of chewing gum, latex free
- one issue of prophylactics
- three lipsticks
- three pair of silk stockings

Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Manila with all that stuff.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 972
RE: Emergency Kit - 6/5/2007 9:12:07 PM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

********Aboard Leper Colony, 150 mi North of Perth**************

<sobered by an anticipated rough reception over their target, Major Kong examines the USAAF Emergency Survial Kit, 237X(S)/42>

Major Kong: - one .45 caliber sidearm
- two boxes of ammunition
- four days' concentrated emergency rations
- one drug issue containing sulfa powder, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
- one miniature combination Japanese phrase book and Bible
- one hundred dollars in yen
- one hundred dollars in lost Philippino gold
- nine packs of chewing gum, latex free
- one issue of prophylactics
- three lipsticks
- three pair of silk stockings

Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Manila with all that stuff.


Since he is flying out of Perth, shouldn't he have a combination Australian phrase book and Bible??

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 973
RE: Emergency Kit - 6/6/2007 4:59:07 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

********Aboard Leper Colony, 150 mi North of Perth**************

<sobered by an anticipated rough reception over their target, Major Kong examines the USAAF Emergency Survial Kit, 237X(S)/42>

Major Kong: - one .45 caliber sidearm
- two boxes of ammunition
- four days' concentrated emergency rations
- one drug issue containing sulfa powder, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
- one miniature combination Japanese phrase book and Bible
- one hundred dollars in yen
- one hundred dollars in lost Philippino gold
- nine packs of chewing gum, latex free
- one issue of prophylactics
- three lipsticks
- three pair of silk stockings

Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Manila with all that stuff.


Since he is flying out of Perth, shouldn't he have a combination Australian phrase book and Bible??



No, that's why he needs the prophylactics.

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 974
RE: Emergency Kit - 6/6/2007 5:16:13 AM   
bbbf

 

Posts: 493
Joined: 7/16/2000
From: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia
Status: offline 		So what you are saying is that Perth Girls are Easy!

_____________________________

Robert Lee

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 975
RE: Emergency Kit - 6/6/2007 5:18:07 AM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bbbf

So what you are saying is that Perth Girls are Easy!


Aiiee!!

(in reply to bbbf)
Post #: 976
RE: Emergency Kit - 6/6/2007 6:05:12 AM   
Cuttlefish

 

Posts: 2454
Joined: 1/24/2007
From: Oregon, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bbbf

So what you are saying is that Perth Girls are Easy!


The pain...oh, the pain...

(in reply to bbbf)
Post #: 977
RE: Emergency Kit - 6/6/2007 1:33:29 PM   
timtom


Posts: 2358
Joined: 1/29/2003
From: Aarhus, Denmark
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bbbf

So what you are saying is that Perth Girls are Easy!


Well WAC's do love flyboys - got something to do with them spiffy sunglasses and that short life expectancy.

_____________________________

Where's the Any key?


(in reply to bbbf)
Post #: 978
RE: Emergency Kit - 6/6/2007 2:10:36 PM   
USSAmerica


Posts: 18715
Joined: 10/28/2002
From: Graham, NC, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bbbf

So what you are saying is that Perth Girls are Easy!


That's punny!

_____________________________

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

(in reply to bbbf)
Post #: 979
RE: Emergency Kit - 6/6/2007 5:37:55 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bbbf

So what you are saying is that Perth Girls are Easy!


Wow..that is a truly historic pun. Sadly, I didn't get it. For those who are embarrassed to admit it, do this: Type in "Perth Girls are Easy!" in the Google window.

(in reply to bbbf)
Post #: 980
RE: Emergency Kit - 6/6/2007 6:09:47 PM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline 		Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey and Damon Williams in "an A movie disguised as a B movie..." - shown on Comedy Channel fairly frequently...

MEMORABLE QUOTE:
from the song "'Cause I'm A Blonde"]
Candy(played by Julie Brown): I just want to say that being chosen as this month's Miss August is like a compliment I'll remember for as long as I can. Right now I'm a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA, but my goal is to become a veterinarian, 'cause I love children.





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< Message edited by rtrapasso -- 6/6/2007 6:19:17 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 981
RE: Emergency Kit - 6/7/2007 4:11:59 AM   
bbbf

 

Posts: 493
Joined: 7/16/2000
From: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia
Status: offline 		I did wonder if the pun might be a little obscure, but it was just too good to pass up.

_____________________________

Robert Lee

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 982
RE: Emergency Kit - 6/7/2007 5:10:02 AM   
USSAmerica


Posts: 18715
Joined: 10/28/2002
From: Graham, NC, USA
Status: offline 		Geena Davis! 

_____________________________

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

(in reply to bbbf)
Post #: 983
Holy ****! - 6/10/2007 12:05:29 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		I go on one lousy bar crawl and the AAR is on the second page. What a price we pay for yeast excrement, eh?

Editors note: "sidewase" is apparently an obscure spelling of "sideways" in wide use among residents of Pitcarin Is.




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< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 6/10/2007 12:07:53 AM >

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 984
RE: Holy ****! - 6/10/2007 5:07:37 AM   
bradfordkay

 

Posts: 8683
Joined: 3/24/2002
From: Olympia, WA
Status: offline 		Hmmm.... Yossarian apparently spent too much time in church camp and not enough in geography class...

_____________________________

fair winds,
Brad

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 985
RE: Holy ****! - 6/10/2007 8:11:21 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

Hmmm.... Yossarian apparently spent too much time in church camp and not enough in geography class...
When I first saw the Blizzard off Christchurch in July, I chuckled to myself, and was all ready to post a screenshot on the forum....then it occured to me.....duh (slaps head>




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(in reply to bradfordkay)
Post #: 986
Venial - 6/11/2007 10:15:38 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		..




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(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 987
RE: Venial - 6/11/2007 10:40:30 PM   
AmiralLaurent

 

Posts: 3351
Joined: 3/11/2003
From: Near Paris, France
Status: offline 		Now I wonder which WITP bug has inspired this 5000 ft tall priest.... I have not seen this one...

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 988
Dogtags - 6/11/2007 10:41:19 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		..poor Father Emmanoulides




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(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 989
50 Hail Mary's - 6/11/2007 11:43:29 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		..




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< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 6/11/2007 11:46:51 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 990
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