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RE: Stalingrad on the WAAAAY Eastern Front

 
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RE: Stalingrad on the WAAAAY Eastern Front - 7/5/2007 3:23:57 PM   
saj42


Posts: 1125
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Somerset, England
Status: offline 		how do you think these up Cap

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(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1051
RE: Stalingrad on the WAAAAY Eastern Front - 7/7/2007 9:22:12 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tallyho!

how do you think these up Cap


Peyote buttons, usually. I like to saute them with a little butter, some sea salt and garlic. Important safety tip, however! DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, watch any of the Aliens series after enjoying this recipe.

Sometimes I just steal ideas from readers, too.

(in reply to saj42)
Post #: 1052
Burbank - 7/7/2007 9:54:48 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		*********MGM Studios, Office of Mr. Louis B. Mayer, Burbank, Calif., August 22, 1942**********


I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: <reaches solicitously across a gigantic ancient walnut desk to greet Mr. Mayer who does not get up> Thank you for your time sir. It is such an honor to be able to meet with you and present this fantastic filmmaking opportunity on behalf of M&M Productions. I am sure your time must be very valuable....

Mr. Mayer:STOP! It is valuable. You had two minutes worth. You now have 1 1/2 minutes. Get to the God Damned point!

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.:Yes sir! The point is this. <he spreads a protoype ad poster on his desk> It's a war film.

Mr. Mayer:You don't say? Why, how original. How ever did you think of that?

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Well, sir. It's about China..about a big battle we jsut won.

Mr. Mayer: I'm listening.

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Sir, it's called "Seven Days to Yenen".

Mr. Mayer: Interesting.

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: We already have letters of intent from the talent.

Mr. Mayer: And they are?

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.:Alec Guiness as the headstrong RAF officer, William Holden as the insouciant USAAF fighter pilot and love interest.

Mr. Mayer: Bill Holden in love with an RAF officer? Honestly, I don't think that is going to "fly". <makes air quotes>

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Oh...oh, no sir. We were thinking a Chinese girl, possibly pregnant, or not, that's up to you.

Mr. Mayer: I'll have someone do the rewrite. And this guy in thy poster> Who is this?

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Oh, that is Ben Kingsley. He plays Gen. Chang or Chung. I forget which.

Mr. Mayer: But he looks green. Is that a printing error?

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Oh no sir, they all look like that. The Chinese generals, I mean.

Mr. Mayer: I'll be damned. Is it a camouflage thing?

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: I don't believe so sir. Dietary perhaps?

Mr. Mayer: Hmmmph. Well, I like it. I'll have legal draw up the standard contract.

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Well, if you don't mind sir, Mr. Minderbinder had me draw up a contract according to his specifications.

Mr. Mayer: <sits upright in surprise> Quite a confident fellow this Minderbinder/


I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: You have no idea sir.....




Attachment (1)

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1053
RE: Burbank - 7/7/2007 10:04:42 PM   
USSAmerica


Posts: 18715
Joined: 10/28/2002
From: Graham, NC, USA
Status: offline 		Not bad, not bad. 

_____________________________

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1054
RE: Burbank - 7/7/2007 10:06:25 PM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline
LOL!

You've done it again!!!

Thank heavens Peyote is legal in California!!!

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1055
RE: Burbank - 7/7/2007 10:26:47 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Personally, I think Mr. Kingsly deserves a royalty payment. Trying to hide it with a color wash? Shameful really. I think Matrix ought to be ashamed of themselves.






Attachment (1)

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 1056
RE: Burbank - 7/8/2007 1:08:47 PM   
1275psi

 

Posts: 7979
Joined: 4/17/2005
Status: offline 		I think someone is avoiding the topic of Port moresby -and certain operations in the central pacific.

I wait with baited breath the Mandrake version.


PS -Im particularily interested -has Tabpub been given a bloody nose again?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1057
RE: Burbank - 7/8/2007 1:55:53 PM   
tabpub


Posts: 1019
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From: The Greater Chicagoland Area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: 1275psi

I think someone is avoiding the topic of Port moresby -and certain operations in the central pacific.

I wait with baited breath the Mandrake version.


PS -Im particularily interested -has Tabpub been given a bloody nose again?


Wrong orifice; something else is bleeding.......
I'll allow the Captain to cover the events in his own good time and manner; I'd bollix up that also....PM was not conceived well, to say the least; that, and a bit of bad fortune post landing. Everything else is progressing as was expected.
I just have a tough time jumping back and forth between '42 and '44; the differences are slightly off-putting sometimes. This TARDIS doesn't work well; I am timesick.

_____________________________

Sing to the tune of "Man on the Flying Trapeze"
..Oh! We fly o'er the treetops with inches to spare,
There's smoke in the cockpit and gray in my hair.
The tracers look fine as a strafin' we go.
But, brother, we're TOO God damn low...

(in reply to 1275psi)
Post #: 1058
RE: Burbank - 7/8/2007 11:39:29 PM   
Grotius


Posts: 5798
Joined: 10/18/2002
From: The Imperial Palace.
Status: offline 		Only slightly off-topic: Cap, what format do you get your Encarta maps in?  I can only seem to get them in .GIF, which Photoshop doesn't like. 

This continues to be a great AAR.  :)

(in reply to tabpub)
Post #: 1059
RE: Burbank - 7/9/2007 12:58:20 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Grotius

Only slightly off-topic: Cap, what format do you get your Encarta maps in? I can only seem to get them in .GIF, which Photoshop doesn't like.

This continues to be a great AAR. :)

Thanks Grotius;

Easy. Just save the .gif file as a .bmp file using MSPaint, for eg. It doesn't improve the quality of the image, of course, but neither does it degrade it further.

_____________________________


(in reply to Grotius)
Post #: 1060
Sysiphus - 7/9/2007 1:32:42 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		"And what did ye look they should compass?
Warcraft learnt in a breath,
Knowledge unto occasion at the first far view of Death?"

Kipling



*********Swiss Cheese Airfield, Port Moresby, August 19, 1942********

Sargeant Sysiphus is overseeing hectic repair effort on the runway. His crew is fortified with M & M Rum, a case of which they have discovered near the still. It is quite passable rum but has the curious bottling date of August 28, 1942. Captain Prometheus, company CO, approaches the crew. He lists to his right due to an evidently painful wound on his right flank which is concealed by a bloody field dressing.

Sgt. Sysiphus: <salutes> Sir, we just finished another 4 craters. We might be able get some C-47's in later today if they don't have a full load. <looks at the Captian's bandages> Did they get you agin sir?

Cpt. Prometheus: Don't worry about me Sgt. It happens all the time. <puts his arm around the Sgt. and walks with him away from the crew> Sgt., the base is going to fall today.

Sgt. Sysiphus: But sir, what about the runway?

Cpt. Prometheus: It can't be helped Sgt., 1st Corps is shot to pieces. We send over a 75, they send back 20 105's. Sgt., you and your men have done a fine job, but I need you to redirect your efforts.

Sgt. Sysiphus: Yes sir. What is it?

Cpt. Prometheus: That's the spirit, son. You see that little path over there, heading West?

Sgt. Sysiphus: That little thing? Yes, it heads to a rum still, but it dead ends. Would you like some rum sir?

Cpt. Prometheus: Thanks, Sgt., but I can't. It's the liver, you know. Sgt., I want you and your men to take your hand tools and extend the path.

Sgt. Sysiphus: Yes sir. To where?

Cpt. Prometheus: To the Western tip of New Guinea.

Sgt. Sysiphus: Isn't that a fair bit sir?

Cpt. Prometheus: About 1,100 miles as far as I can figure. I'd like you crew to open that trail and keep it open. I hope to move the entire Battalion that way for a possible evacuation by sea to Darwin.

Sgt. Sysiphus: Yes sir! We'll get right on it! <he calls the crew together and they move their hand tools to the trailhead and begin working. After an hour of hard work, they have progressed about 75 yds. At the start of the trail a fig, fallen long ago, has rotted near the edge of the trail. The seed within sends out rhizomes into the moist soil. A new life has begun>


< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/9/2007 1:35:33 AM >

(in reply to saj42)
Post #: 1061
RE: Sysiphus - 7/9/2007 3:18:30 AM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline
quote:

Sgt. Sysiphus: That little thing? Yes, it heads to a rum still, but it dead ends. Would you like some rum sir?

Cpt. Prometheus: Thanks, Sgt., but I can't. It's the liver, you know.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1062
PM on PM - 7/9/2007 4:14:42 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Post Mortem on Post Moresby

Our opponent appears to be crowing about the fall of Port Moresby. The lead post in the forum is "31,000+ Aus prisoners..." or something of the sort.

Here is what Lincoln had to say about that kind of thing:

"The hen is the cleverest of God's creatures. She does not cackle until the egg is laid"

At the same time of his success at Port Moresby, he has 3 division equivalents trapped near Perth and is paying quite a price in his attempt to rescue them (more on that later). The siege of Yenen has been lifted and 115,000 Chinese troops are spared. There is a lot going on in the game right now. We have an unhistorical situation where both sides are conducting large simultaneous offensive operations.

Anyway...what are the learning points from PM (as far as I see it..Tabpub can comment)

1) We achieved complete surprise but paid a price as we were not able to suppress Gili Gili or Lae ahead of time.

2) Our plan to transfer several squadrons of Kittyhawks, by air, to PM after its capture failed because the airfield was destroyed during capture. This was partly my fault as my air campaign from Cairns was a bit too aggressive. As we never had air cover at PM, he was able to suppress the two Australian divisions over time.

3) We anticipated a counterattack at PM but weren't quite ready for it. We were still girding for an attack on the South Island of New Zealand (instead the forces planned for New Zealand were likely diverted to New Guinea). Had the USN carriers been available off Australia they might have stopped his invasion force. We were unable to do it with long range bombers alone.



< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/9/2007 4:15:44 AM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1063
RE: Sysiphus - 7/9/2007 6:08:41 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

quote:

Sgt. Sysiphus: That little thing? Yes, it heads to a rum still, but it dead ends. Would you like some rum sir?

Cpt. Prometheus: Thanks, Sgt., but I can't. It's the liver, you know.





Good to see someone was paying attention in Mythology 101

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 1064
RE: Sysiphus - 7/9/2007 3:31:55 PM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

quote:

Sgt. Sysiphus: That little thing? Yes, it heads to a rum still, but it dead ends. Would you like some rum sir?

Cpt. Prometheus: Thanks, Sgt., but I can't. It's the liver, you know.





Good to see someone was paying attention in Mythology 101


You should have had Cpt. Prometheus offer some matches to Sgt. Sysiphus for his cigarette...

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1065
RE: Sysiphus - 7/9/2007 4:57:52 PM   
Grotius


Posts: 5798
Joined: 10/18/2002
From: The Imperial Palace.
Status: offline 		Ah, that worked, Cap.  Thanks!

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 1066
RE: Sysiphus - 7/9/2007 6:06:01 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso


You should have had Cpt. Prometheus offer some matches to Sgt. Sysiphus for his cigarette...

Might be kind of dangerous around the rum. Still, it is WWIIb and a certain casual acquaintence with explosions has developed among the cast and crew.

BTW....you know that "rescue operation" I mentioned off Perth? It's not a rescue operation.

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 1067
The Farie Guy - 7/9/2007 10:46:38 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		**********Aviation Officer's Mess, HMS Illustrious, near Perth, August 20, 1942*********

1st Flt. Lt: Any word on Nelson and Fairworthy?

2nd Flt. Lt: None. Unless they made Perth, I'm afraid it doesn't look good.

1st Flt. Lt: Bloody Hell! And Thompson and Strickworth.

2nd Flt. Lt: Confirmed KIA, I'm afraid.

1st Flt. Lt: Bugger this aircraft! That makes 8 crew in 2 days! Did you know the damnable thing has the same engine as the Spit in 1 1/2 times the airframe. Its no wonder our chaps are being blown out of the sky vs. the Zero.

2nd Flt. Lt: I am with you mate. I'd just as soon have mi old biplane back. That way, if a wing is shot off at least there is something left to break the fall. <general laughter about the table>

3rd Flt. Lt: What exactly is a fulmar, anyway?

1st Flt. Lt: Some kind a predatory sea bird. Evidently not in the top tier.

2nd Flt. Lt: I think albatross might have been more apt.

3rd Flt. Lt: I think it's taken. How about the "wooden decoy"? <general laughter>

1st Flt. Lt: My question is how could such a project be given the go-ahead? I hear there are hundreds of brand new Wildcats lined up on the tarmac in San Francisco. Something is amiss, I tell you.

2nd Flt. Lt: Hey chaps, here comes the Farie guy. <they all turn to greet him>

Farie guy: Good afternoon gents. I am Reginald Pound, field engineer with Farie Aviation. I wonder if I might pick your brains for a moment. You chaps fly the Fulmar, do you not?

1st Flt. Lt: Yes, yes we do. We were just talking about the aircraft. Please, sit down.

Farie guy: Ah, splendid. Well, not to put too fine a point on it, but what are your thoughts.


1st Flt. Lt: Well, Mr. Pound, there is the problem of oil spots.

Farie guy: Blast! It's the new synthetic gaskets you see. They just don't hold up. Are they affecting the performance of the flight deck, then?

1st Flt. Lt: Flight deck? Oh no, perhaps I did not make myself clear. The oil spots are chiefly in the Indian Ocean after one of our colleagues augers in at 200 kts.

Farie guy: Oh dear. <fumbles nervously with notepad> "Augering in." Yes, got it. Thank you for your feedback sirs. I should be writing this up.

2nd Flt. Lt: War is Hell, isn't it Mr. Pound. Say, you aren't related to the old man are you?

Farie guy: Oh, you mean Sir Dudley? Why, yes. He is my uncle. <all three pilots exchange knowing glances as they achieve a kind of unspoken insight>

1st Flt. Lt: Mr. Pound, my second is layed up with a Zero round to his foot that just happened to penetrate the armor. I don't suppose you would like to have a ride along this afternoon? Just to get the feel of the bird in the air..you know........

(in reply to saj42)
Post #: 1068
RE: The Farie Guy - 7/10/2007 4:12:15 AM   
HMS Resolution


Posts: 350
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		It's, uh, actually "Fairey", with a "y", also, no flight lieutenants in the RN.

"Evidently not in the top tier" is genius.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1069
RE: The Chinese Generals - 7/10/2007 6:52:36 AM   
Moondawggie


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
Status: offline 		Cap, I've been away a bit, but seeing the list of Chinese Generals including Chong and Cheech made me smile!

Are you sure the "fog" in front of Pvt. Yuen was really fog, or was it some other kind of smoke arising from General Cheech's HQ?

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to HMS Resolution)
Post #: 1070
RE: The Chinese Generals - 7/10/2007 6:56:23 AM   
Moondawggie


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
Status: offline 		In fact, Cap, if you'd care to start a sideline narrative here about the adventures of General Cheech (kind of like Cuttlefish's Hibiki), I bet we'd all love to find out how his personal war goes in China...You do create some fine characters!  

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to Moondawggie)
Post #: 1071
RE: The Farie Guy - 7/10/2007 7:09:46 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HMS Resolution

It's, uh, actually "Fairey", with a "y"..


Technically, I believe you are correct, but it should be "Farie" because it looks funnier.

quote:

..also, no flight lieutenants in the RN.
As Adm. Somerville might say..."BUGGER!" I don't suppose they could be on loan from the RAF?

(in reply to HMS Resolution)
Post #: 1072
RE: The Chinese Generals - 7/10/2007 7:13:06 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

In fact, Cap, if you'd care to start a sideline narrative here about the adventures of General Cheech (kind of like Cuttlefish's Hibiki), I bet we'd all love to find out how his personal war goes in China...You do create some fine characters!



"Honorable General, sir, are you out of your ******* mind?"

From an old C&C routine. I'm not sure whether is what Gen. Cheech or Gen. Chong. Doubtless someone of the proper "demographic niche" will know.

(in reply to Moondawggie)
Post #: 1073
Christmas present in August? - 7/10/2007 7:38:04 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		*********Freemantle Harbour, Aboard USS Santa Ana, 8890 ton transport, August 20, 1942**************


Petty Officer Johnson, RAN, peer into the hold. He works his torch along the length of a huge crate labeled "Medical Supplies".

Petty Officer Johnson: Here it is. Open this one! <a crew begins working with prybars. After several strenous minutes, they are all astonished when a human hand with stubby fingers and an Annapolis ring appears out of the gloom>

Ensign Borgnine: <emerges from the crate squinting in the sunlight> DANG! What took you guys so long? We were running out of food. <the crew levers back the cover to reveal a fully assembled PT boat>............






Attachment (1)

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1074
RE: Christmas present in August? - 7/10/2007 8:37:21 PM   
USSAmerica


Posts: 18715
Joined: 10/28/2002
From: Graham, NC, USA
Status: offline 		Ahhh...the old "Create PT Boats" button. 

McHale's Instant Navy.  Just add supplies. 

_____________________________

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1075
RE: Christmas present in August? - 7/10/2007 9:55:18 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		BTW...strictly speaking, I don't think there was a USS Santa Ana in August 1942. Attention CHS people! There is a grievous error in the database!

In 1941 she was acquired by the Army from civilian owners, renamed USS John L. Clem and was officially converted to a "hospital ship".

In fact, the "Hospital Ship" designation was just a cover story. Secretly, she was converted to a CMTBCS(1941) (Covert Motor Torpedo Boat Carrying Ship-1941 variant). These modifications included heavy duty cranes and enlarged hatches to accomodate the boats as well as faux operating rooms. Later variants even included hull doors to allow "hatching" of PT boats in protected waters.

Taken from

You Do Realize There Were PT Boats Other than PT-109, Don't You?, E. Borgnine, Lt Cmdr., USN (ret), Harper Press, New York, 1951

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/10/2007 10:00:04 PM >

(in reply to USSAmerica)
Post #: 1076
RE: Christmas present in August? - 7/10/2007 11:15:14 PM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

BTW...strictly speaking, I don't think there was a USS Santa Ana in August 1942. Attention CHS people! There is a grievous error in the database!

In 1941 she was acquired by the Army from civilian owners, renamed USS John L. Clem and was officially converted to a "hospital ship".

In fact, the "Hospital Ship" designation was just a cover story. Secretly, she was converted to a CMTBCS(1941) (Covert Motor Torpedo Boat Carrying Ship-1941 variant). These modifications included heavy duty cranes and enlarged hatches to accomodate the boats as well as faux operating rooms. Later variants even included hull doors to allow "hatching" of PT boats in protected waters.

Taken from

You Do Realize There Were PT Boats Other than PT-109, Don't You?, E. Borgnine, Lt Cmdr., USN (ret), Harper Press, New York, 1951


Actually there is a Santa Anna (two n's) in CHS as an AK - but many Allied transports are not...


< Message edited by rtrapasso -- 7/10/2007 11:16:47 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1077
RE: Christmas present in August? - 7/11/2007 2:32:32 AM   
rockmedic109

 

Posts: 2390
Joined: 5/17/2005
From: Citrus Heights, CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

BTW...strictly speaking, I don't think there was a USS Santa Ana in August 1942. Attention CHS people! There is a grievous error in the database!

In 1941 she was acquired by the Army from civilian owners, renamed USS John L. Clem and was officially converted to a "hospital ship".

In fact, the "Hospital Ship" designation was just a cover story. Secretly, she was converted to a CMTBCS(1941) (Covert Motor Torpedo Boat Carrying Ship-1941 variant). These modifications included heavy duty cranes and enlarged hatches to accomodate the boats as well as faux operating rooms. Later variants even included hull doors to allow "hatching" of PT boats in protected waters.

Taken from

You Do Realize There Were PT Boats Other than PT-109, Don't You?, E. Borgnine, Lt Cmdr., USN (ret), Harper Press, New York, 1951



A Roll-On/Roll-Off PT Boat Conveyor!

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1078
RE: Christmas present in August? - 7/11/2007 4:21:12 AM   
BrucePowers


Posts: 12094
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		This war is getting really interesting.....

(in reply to rockmedic109)
Post #: 1079
RE: Christmas present in August? - 7/11/2007 4:34:05 AM   
USSAmerica


Posts: 18715
Joined: 10/28/2002
From: Graham, NC, USA
Status: offline 		I concur with Bruce!  There has been much ass kicked on both sides! 

That, and the fact that most of Hollywood has been spotted in cameo roles. 

_____________________________

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

(in reply to BrucePowers)
Post #: 1080
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