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All Forums >> [Current Games From Matrix.] >> [World War II] >> War In The Pacific - Struggle Against Japan 1941 - 1945 >> After Action Reports >> I think I can, I think I can....

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I think I can, I think I can.... - 7/28/2007 1:20:12 AM

Cap Mandrake

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*******Aboard Australian HQ Command Train, 500 m SW of Derby, August 30, 1942*********

General Balmey works at his cramped desk, studying logistical reports for his command. An officer from Signals Section knocks on the open door to the office.

Gen. Blamey: Enter!

Signals Officer: Message from Commander, Perth Garrison, Sir.

Gen. Blamey: Read it please <without looking up>

Signals Officer: Yes sir, it reads, message begins..

Gen. Blamey: Wait, do you mean they wasted transmission time with the expression "message begins"? Didn't anyone read my memo about saving electrons? The resources of the Australian Government are not limitless, you know.

Signals Officer: Oh, no sir. That was me.

Gen. Blamey: Are you sure? I distinctly remember writing that myself.

Signals Officer: Oh, yes sir. I mean, no sir..well. I mean yes, you did write the memo, sir, but it was I who said "message begins". I merely wanted to indicate where my statement ended and Perth's began, sir.

Gen. Blamey: Very well, perhaps you could just pause briefly. <after 30 seconds Blamey looks up to see a profusely sweating young officer> Well? What is the matter son?

Signals Officer: Oh, sorry sir. I thought I was to pause.

Gen. Blamey: Well, I meant before you read the text of the Perth message.

Signals Officer: Oh, sorry sir. Shall I start then?

Gen. Blamey: Yes, please do, before the war is over.

Signals Officer: Yes sir, The message from Perth reads......<pauses and looks earnestly at the General..after some seconds he raises his brow as if to indicate a question>

Gen. Blamey: <raises his eyebrows in response, as if to say "well, get on with it">

Signals Officer: Sir, is that long enough?

Gen. Blamey: Thats it? The message from Perth is "Sir, is that long enough"? Why, that is the most unprofessional query I have ever heard. Of course it is not long enough! Tell those laggards they shall resist until the last round and I shan't countenance any further ****footing.

Signals Officer: Oh, sir no, or rather I was asking if it was long enough..to pause I mean.

Gen. Blamey: Oh dear. do you mean to tell me we aren't to the message yet?

Signals Officer: Yes sir, I mean no, or rather we aren't to the message yet. Well, techincially I have seen it and the signals staff have seen it but you haven't yet, sir.

Gen. Blamey: <rubs eyes> Ahhhhhhhmmmmm. Look. I have an idea. I will count to three and point to you when I want you to read the message. Before that I don't want you to say anything! Is that perfectly clear?

Signals Officer: <an anxious look comes over his face, he pantomimes a zipper over his mouth, and raises his eyebrows again and tilts his head a bit for emphasis>

Gen. Blamey: < mimics his brow and facial movement involuntarily until they look like a couple of courting quail> Oh, yes, I see. Just nod in the affirmative if you understand.

Signals Officer: <nods vigorously>

Gen. Blamey: Excellent. Are you ready?

Signals Officer: Yes..s

Gen. Blamey: Bahhh! Rassafrasa <makes assorted mouth moving faster than brain sounds> Just nod if you are ready.

Signals Officer: <nods and holds up his message the pressure clearly buidling like a steam engine>

Gen. Blamey: Excellent! 3....2....1....GO!

Signals Officer: EnemyCAPnolongerflyingoverJapshippingstophaveidentifiedImperialGuardDivisionandoneotherto bringstrengthto4divisions3combatbrigadesand3regimetnsheavyartillerystop <takes breath> firstJapattackfailedbutdiddislodgebritsoneseiesfortsstop solongand thnaksforallthefishandtheBeauforts....End Message

Gen. Blamey: Did you say "So long and thanks for all the fish and Beauforts"?

Signals Officer: Yes sir

Gen. Blamey: What did he mean by that? Is it in code? I thought the Beauforts were out of ferry range. We aren't using a non green-dot airfield are we? I would hate to have any war crime allegations due to 1925 Naval Treaty violations.

Signals Officer: We are working that, sir <at this moment the train car bumps violently>

Gen. Blamey: Very well. Let me know when you have more and do ask the engineer to slow down a bit. The track is absolutely atrocious.

Signals Officer: Yes sir! <he salutes and exits the rear of the car. Outside the noise is terrible and the view is even worse. The General's command railcar is lashed to a lorry which tavels along the highway as fast as the driver dare. A crew of two men work each set of the railcar wheels, keeping up a rhythmic pounding with small hammers>

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RE: I think I can, I think I can.... - 7/28/2007 2:45:00 AM

Terminus

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How perfectly surreal...

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RE: I think I can, I think I can.... - 7/28/2007 8:43:25 AM

bradfordkay

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"The General's command railcar is lashed to a lorry which tavels along the highway as fast as the driver dare. A crew of two men work each set of the railcar wheels, keeping up a rhythmic pounding with small hammers"

Excuse me while I go change my pants...

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fair winds,
Brad

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RE: I think I can, I think I can.... - 7/30/2007 3:40:34 PM

saj42

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From: Somerset, England
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ROFLMAO

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Signals Officer: Yes sir! <he salutes and exits the rear of the car. Outside the noise is terrible and the view is even worse. The General's command railcar is lashed to a lorry which tavels along the highway as fast as the driver dare. A crew of two men work each set of the railcar wheels, keeping up a rhythmic pounding with small hammers>

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RE: I think I can, I think I can.... - 8/1/2007 1:07:46 AM

leehunt27@bloomberg.net

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this is a great AAR, playing a game right now against John and he just pointed this out to me. nice work

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RE: I think I can, I think I can.... - 8/1/2007 4:18:18 AM

Cap Mandrake

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Thank you sir.

I am now being tortured by my ISP. I think they may be working in concert with the homeowner's association, the Franchise Tax Board of California, and the Department of Motor Vehicles but I am unable to confirm this. I know they are all trying to torture me, I just can't prove yet they are in it together. Two "cable guys"

came out today to fix my cable connection. The first guy couldn't find the streetside cable thingy but he did seem to be talking tinto his lapel every two minutes. The second guy said it was too far away from the house in an accusatory tone like it was my fault or something. He says they have to "pull cable" and another crew will be out in two days. How stupid does he think I am? The thing will be loaded with more microphones than the wiring at the US Embassy in Moscow. Anyway, the war is on hold.

Where did I put that medicine bottle?

(in reply to leehunt27@bloomberg.net)

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RE: I think I can, I think I can.... - 8/1/2007 9:34:06 AM

witpqs

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
The thing will be loaded with more microphones than the wiring at the US Embassy in Moscow.

That John sure is crafty!

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RE: I think I can, I think I can.... - 8/1/2007 1:17:59 PM

tabpub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
The thing will be loaded with more microphones than the wiring at the US Embassy in Moscow.

That John sure is crafty!

I dunno, but I'm in this game and I've lost my place......where am I??? ......"My God, It's full of ....." transmission interupted........<hissssssss>......<more hissssssssssss>......<and even more hissssssssssssssssssssss>.....ok, get the picture....

_____________________________

Sing to the tune of "Man on the Flying Trapeze"
..Oh! We fly o'er the treetops with inches to spare,
There's smoke in the cockpit and gray in my hair.
The tracers look fine as a strafin' we go.
But, brother, we're TOO God damn low...

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RE: I think I can, I think I can.... - 8/1/2007 1:55:59 PM

rtrapasso

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Where did I put that medicine bottle?

Is that the one with the wild turkey on the label??

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RE: I think I can, I think I can.... - 8/1/2007 1:56:28 PM

Terminus

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And five X's?

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RE: I think I can, I think I can.... - 8/1/2007 6:37:08 PM

BrucePowers

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Thank you sir.

I am now being tortured by my ISP. I think they may be working in concert with the homeowner's association, the Franchise Tax Board of California, and the Department of Motor Vehicles but I am unable to confirm this. I know they are all trying to torture me, I just can't prove yet they are in it together. Two "cable guys" came out today to fix my cable connection. The first guy couldn't find the streetside cable thingy but he did seem to be talking tinto his lapel every two minutes. The second guy said it was too far away from the house in an accusatory tone like it was my fault or something. He says they have to "pull cable" and another crew will be out in two days. How stupid does he think I am? The thing will be loaded with more microphones than the wiring at the US Embassy in Moscow. Anyway, the war is on hold.

Where did I put that medicine bottle?

The "thingy" is called a terminal box

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

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RE: I think I can, I think I can.... - 8/2/2007 5:13:49 PM

USSAmerica

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Thank you sir.

I am now being tortured by my ISP. I think they may be working in concert with the homeowner's association, the Franchise Tax Board of California, and the Department of Motor Vehicles but I am unable to confirm this. I know they are all trying to torture me, I just can't prove yet they are in it together. Two "cable guys" came out today to fix my cable connection. The first guy couldn't find the streetside cable thingy but he did seem to be talking tinto his lapel every two minutes. The second guy said it was too far away from the house in an accusatory tone like it was my fault or something. He says they have to "pull cable" and another crew will be out in two days. How stupid does he think I am? The thing will be loaded with more microphones than the wiring at the US Embassy in Moscow. Anyway, the war is on hold.

Where did I put that medicine bottle?

I'm quite sure there is some way for Milo to profit from the war being "on hold."

_____________________________

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me

Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

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RE: I think I can, I think I can.... - 8/4/2007 5:55:03 AM

rtrapasso

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From the things happening on you opponent's AAR, i think we need an update...

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RE: I think I can, I think I can.... - 8/4/2007 7:15:55 AM

BrucePowers

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He's speechless[:D

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RE: I think I can, I think I can.... - 8/4/2007 11:00:04 AM

bobogoboom

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Seriously one one of the two of you need to give an update

. This is the best AAR on the board and i am on the edge of my seat.............

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Savage combat off Midway; 8/30 to 9/3 - 8/5/2007 1:08:16 AM

tabpub

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...

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RE: Savage combat off Midway; 8/30 to 9/3 - 8/5/2007 1:47:50 AM

Terminus

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I'm surprised the Americans aren't bivouacking in layers on Midway.

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RE: Savage combat off Midway; 8/30 to 9/3 - 8/5/2007 2:29:22 AM

rockmedic109

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They could use the damaged ships as barracks as well.

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37 square meters - 8/5/2007 3:02:33 AM

Cap Mandrake

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Major Koolhaas eagerly spreads out of huge blueprint of Sand Island divided into a meticulous grid. Eagerly, he explains the details.

"It's like this. The density of US troops on the Island is roughly 1/37 sq m. So I have divided the Island into some 55,000 5x6m rectangles with a 2m wide communication lane running North/South between every row and an East/West access every 4 columns. This space in the NE is for the artillery and heavy equipment. It is possible to get to any other point on the grid with only 2 turns and a maximum travel of 2.43 km. I figure we can bring in some palms and other native plants given time."

Much impressed, his superior looks over the design, studies it for a minute or two and then asks, "Major, where are the latrines?"

The blood drains out of the Major's face. An awareness that 800 hrs of design work has gone for naught begins to dawn on him....."****!"

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RE: 37 square meters - 8/5/2007 5:54:04 AM

BrucePowers

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Let's hope nobody gets the runs.

Oh, and have the quartermaster put all that prune juice back on one of the freighters

< Message edited by BrucePowers -- 8/5/2007 5:55:47 AM >

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RE: 37 square meters - 8/5/2007 1:40:18 PM

Terminus

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1st Lt. De Groot LIVES! - 8/6/2007 1:08:04 AM

Cap Mandrake

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After a week of missions, 1st Lt. De Groot of B1-VIG-I is not only alive but getting dangerously cocky. He is gaining about 5 experience points per day.

He had 2 missions to bomb Imperial Guard Division support elements but the rest have been to attack enemy transports operating singly or in small groups with little AA fire.

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< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/6/2007 1:09:25 AM >

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RE: 1st Lt. De Groot LIVES! - 8/6/2007 2:10:10 AM

Terminus

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Well, he does have a bit of catching up to do...

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RE: 1st Lt. De Groot LIVES! - 8/6/2007 5:04:48 PM

HMS Resolution

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I wonder if Lt. De Groot is an ancestor of Scarygoround.com's lovely Esther De Groot?

http://scarygoround.com/index.php?date=20060217

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RE: 1st Lt. De Groot LIVES! - 8/7/2007 1:37:52 AM

Cap Mandrake

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I knew the flag officers were mostly historical in WITP, but the 1st Lt.'s

Check this out from the BBC WW2 People's War site!

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< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/7/2007 1:39:01 AM >

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RE: 1st Lt. De Groot LIVES! - 8/7/2007 1:39:59 AM

Terminus

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Ooops!

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RE: 1st Lt. De Groot LIVES! - 8/8/2007 2:13:54 AM

BrucePowers

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Somebody, please tell us what's going on. Please,

Please.

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RE: 1st Lt. De Groot LIVES! - 8/8/2007 2:26:14 AM

Terminus

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Nothing like a good old press-ganging... Even if the press gang in question is a beautiful woman with a pitcher of suspicious-looking liquid...

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RE: 1st Lt. De Groot LIVES! - 8/8/2007 2:33:25 AM

BrucePowers

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Not about that

I know what a press gang is. I read all the Hornblower books.

I want to know what's happening around Perth

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RE: 1st Lt. De Groot LIVES! - 8/8/2007 4:49:45 AM

bobogoboom

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i would guess

and someone going

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