Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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*************Aboard USS Chandeleur, Tasman Sea, bearing westerly, 13:20, Sept 15, 1942****************** Milo: Your safety primer on the Mitchell B-25 is selling like hotcakes. I am having it translated into Dutch. Yossarian: Dutch? I'll be damned. Milo: Too late. Yossarian: There was a time I would have thought that funny. Milo: Yes, I noticed. You seem to have lost your edge. Yossarian: I have suppressed my edge. Milo: Why would you want to do that? Yossarian: I don't want to go through this again. Milo: Through what? The seas are fine. The food is ..wel..OK Yossarian: No, I mean the war. I don't want to go through the war again. Milo: Oh, you won't. Yossarian: Can you promise me? Milo: Ok, OK. I promise you I will let you sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom sometimes. Yossarian: Milo, you crazy SOB. That is not what I mean and you know it. Milo: Ok, I promise. No more wiring from the de-icer circuits. Yossarian: Damn you for that, you SOB! I had to do 500 Hail Marys Milo: Too late. By the way, you may be happy to know the sound sytem in the Captain's cabin on Enterpise turned out great! Kimmel ordered retrofits on Wasp and Saratoga. <conversation lags>....Yossarian, I wouldn't worry so much about the war. Despite my best efforts, we are starting to win. Yossarian: What a shame, eh? Milo: Nah. It had to happen. I am not worried. I have some ideas. Yossarian: I have no doubt you do, you crazy SOB. How's business..other than the publication thing I mean? Milo: Well, I have been doing some thinking on those icebreakers. I am thinking of doing some co-marketing. I do think Ito is cheating us, though. Sales are way down in the East Indies and and New Guinea, but up over 200% in the Central Pacific. I suspect he is falsifying sales data, shifting sales to one area where he is likely skimming profits. Most likely something bad happened to that chap on the Jap destroyer. Yossarian: I wouldn't be surprised if Ito tried to kill him with a torpedo. Why don't you just fire him? Milo: Are you kidding? He is doing what I would be doing in his situation. This orgnaization rewards creative thinking. Yossarian: Creative thinking? You said he was cheating? Milo: He is. Yossarian: So fire the SOB. Milo: I will not. Gross sales are up. Net profits are up. It seems only the incentives were previously misaligned in the Central Pacific. Yossarian: Milo, you crazy SOB. You are the most pragmatic person I have ever met. No sense letting the fate of one's everlasting soul get in the way of decisions. Milo: Thanks, Mr. Vice President! That is the nicest thing anyone other than the Flt. Lt. has said to me in months. By the way, we have an interview with Stars and Stripes at three......Oh, and don't let me forget to change the business cards to the Sydney address.
< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/2/2007 9:39:10 PM >
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