Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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***************Oval Office, White House, Washington, D.C., 07:15, December 11, 1942, Presidential Daily Briefing************ Gen. Marshall: Sir, the most important item this morning is Operation Akron. Tall, patrician-looking guy: Akron? Holy cow! I had no idea the Japs had got all the way to Iowa. Aren't you guys supposed to keep me updated on this stuff? Adm. King: I think you mean Ohio, sir, Tall, patrician-looking guy: Iowa, Ohio, does it really matter? I would say the voters in Akron are going to be pretty angry. That is a Democratic town, Captain. Adm. King: Admiral, sir. Tall, patrician-looking guy: I am an Admiral too? Why doesn't someone tell me these things. Adm. King: Yes sir. I will see to it. Gen. Marshall: Sir,...<pauses to chose his words> operation Akron isn't really in Akron. Tall, patrician-looking guy: Well, that is pretty confusing isn't it? Are you TRYING to confuse me? Gen. Marshall: No sir. We weren't too happy with the operation name either. It seems there was a clerical error. Adm. King: Still, it might have been worse. <both officers chuckle> Tall, patrician-looking guy: Well, as this is a briefing, are you going to tell me WHERE opeartion Akron is? Gen. Marshall: Yes sir. It's Fiji sir. Tall, patrician-looking guy: Fiji, Fiji? I can't place it. Is that a blue collar town? Gen. Marshall: No sir, I'd say more a no-collar town. <both officers chuckle> Tall, patrician-looking guy: Splendid! The medical guys told me to say that more. It means something is really good. Gen. Marshall: Yes sir. Splendid, sir. Tall, patrician-looking guy: Fiji, a no-collar town. That sounds like good Democratic voters to me. Splendid! Do the men not wear shirts then? Gen. Marshall: Yes sir, chiefly. And many of the women too. Tall, patrician-looking guy: The women too? Splendid! I would like to visit there when this is over. Gen. Marshall: Yes, sir. Tall, patrician-looking guy: Splendid! look, if this Operation Akron doesn't work out can we at least drop some absentee ballots there before November '44? We can use some of those hundreds of transport thingys we have sitting around doing nothing. What do you call those things again? Gen. Marshall: C-47's, sir? Tall, patrician-looking guy: Yes, splenidid! Use some of them. The taxpayers like to see what they buy put to good use. Gen. Marshall: But sir, they are earmarked for the ETO. Tall, patrician-looking guy: ETO? Look guys, how many times do I have to tell you to can the abbreviations. Gen. Marshall: Yes sir. Sorry, Mr. President. C-47's for absentee ballots. Yes sir. Tall, patrician-looking guy: Splendid! <intercom buzzes, he says conspiratorially to the two officers> Hey, watch this, it's a talking radio. You are not going to believe this <depresses intercom button> Yes, what is it? <giggles a bit> Voice over intercom: Sir, it's Senator Truman. He wants to see you sir. He says it's urgent. Something about Quonset huts, sir. Tall, patrician-looking guy: Truman? Oh man. <the smile leaves his face> Tell him I am not in. Voice over intercom: I'm afraid thay won't work, sir. He is down on his hands and knees peering throught the gap under the door to the Oval Office. Voice from behind dooor: <muffled> Mr. President, it's Harry. I know you are in. I need to talk to you about the military-industrial-complex. Sir, I'll get some of those salty fish eggs if you like.....
< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 3/10/2008 1:12:34 AM >
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