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RE: Perth - 3/23/2008 9:45:51 PM   
bradfordkay

 

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Bush meat? no, no, no, brad, don't go there...

_____________________________

fair winds,
Brad

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
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RE: Perth - 3/24/2008 2:45:06 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

Bush meat? no, no, no, brad, don't go there...


It's neck and neck..but the superego wins in a photo finish.



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Post #: 2102
RE: Perth - 3/24/2008 10:14:53 AM   
bradfordkay

 

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It's sometimes hard to resist...

_____________________________

fair winds,
Brad

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2103
What's in a name - 3/25/2008 7:32:40 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Lord Admiral Tabpub is an attacking, crazy kinda guy. Does anyone think he would be happy with one amphibious invasion at a time?

While we await the turn back from the Empire of Japan, the management has granted permission for a contest and is prepared to offer one two for one coupon for a cocktail at Yossarian's home for anyone who correctly identifies the next landing location.

For anyone who can identify the operation name, we can offer something really cool but we haven't thought of it yet.

Hint: It is thematic and it is already in the narrative.

(in reply to bradfordkay)
Post #: 2104
Horizon to Horizon - 3/25/2008 10:12:24 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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*********Aboard USS Mississippi, 350 nm NE of XXXXXX Is., 17:30, December 16, 1942*********


Admiral Eadie Adams: <scans the horizon from the bridge. Everywhere he looks there are ships of the XXXXXX Is. landing force, they are converted ocean liners and liberty ships and modern destroyers and crusiers bristling with AAA guns. They carry the men and equipment of Ist Amphibious Corps. He turns to Gen. Mitchell, commander of I Amphibious Corps> General, we have been lucky, we remain unspotted, but tomorrow we will announce our presence. Are your boys ready?


General Mitchell:
They are Admiral. In fact, they will be glad to have feet dry."


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2105
RE: Horizon to Horizon - 3/25/2008 11:00:12 PM   
bobogoboom


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canton?

_____________________________

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Member Texas Thread Mafia.

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Post #: 2106
RE: What's in a name - 3/25/2008 11:38:12 PM   
tabpub


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quote:

Lord Admiral Tabpub is an attacking, crazy kinda guy.





Here I am at an Japanese Embassy party circa 1928 in Washington; the short fellow to my right is the Japanese Naval Attache. We've had a few whiskys by this time, of course....

He's gotten belligerent, saying how the Empire has rights in Asia and all that; and that if the US interferes, the IJN will "sink us all, everyone...". I, of course, said "Bollocks".
He looked at me thru whiskey filmed eyes, obviously confused; so, I tracked down the German Naval Attache, Mantueffel and asked him to translate "Bollocks". He looked confused, so I said, "Bollocks, like nuts." Now HE was confused..."Nutzen?" He jabbered something in Japanese to the IJNA and stumbled off, muttering.....

The IJNA said "What do legumes have to do with the situation in the Far East?"
I didn't know what a "legume" was, but I couldn't let on that I was ignorant, so I stole the prop arrow from Bradley (that party animal, you haven't seen the seamier side of DC until you go out with Brad...he's just ....bent) and said "Well Izzy, let's just say that if something happens out there, you guys might run wild for sometime, but in the end you'll get it in the head just like this..." whereupon I placed the prop arrow on my head.

He got a dreamy look in his eyes then for a few seconds, then shook his head to clear it.
"Yes, indeed you are right. What was I thinking.....now, about this expansion that I hear proposed for Pearl Harbor Naval Yard....do you think it's wise to do this? Pearl Harbor has only one purpose, to threaten us like a knife to the throat!"
"Izzy", I said, "don't worry your little pumpkin head over that. The Brass will never station the fleet out there; entertainment sucks out there compared to 'Dago as there are no speakeasies, and they like to party on Saturday nights. So much so, that on Sunday morning all you see is little old ladies and temperance people walking around in San Diego; the Fleet is sleeping off a bender most of the time..."

All he could say to that was "Well, good thing we are on Japanese soil here and we can drink our fill. Let's have another and toast to a quick end to Prohibition!!"
I just burped and said "Amen, brother!!"



Attachment (1)

< Message edited by tabpub -- 3/25/2008 11:40:09 PM >


_____________________________

Sing to the tune of "Man on the Flying Trapeze"
..Oh! We fly o'er the treetops with inches to spare,
There's smoke in the cockpit and gray in my hair.
The tracers look fine as a strafin' we go.
But, brother, we're TOO God damn low...

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2107
RE: What's in a name - 3/26/2008 12:05:41 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tabpub
..
He's gotten belligerent, saying how the Empire has rights in Asia and all that; and that if the US interferes, the IJN will "sink us all, everyone...". I, of course, said "Bollocks".
He looked at me thru whiskey filmed eyes, obviously confused; so, I tracked down the German Naval Attache, Mantueffel and asked him to translate "Bollocks". He looked confused, so I said, "Bollocks, like nuts." Now HE was confused..."Nutzen?" He jabbered something in Japanese to the IJNA and stumbled off, muttering.....


Much the same thing will happen to General McAuliff at Bastogne in late '44...well probably..no way to be sure. Some of this may spill over to the ETO

quote:

He got a dreamy look in his eyes then for a few seconds, then shook his head to clear it.
"Yes, indeed you are right. What was I thinking.....now, about this expansion that I hear proposed for Pearl Harbor Naval Yard....do you think it's wise to do this? Pearl Harbor has only one purpose, to threaten us like a knife to the throat!"
"Izzy", I said, "don't worry your little pumpkin head over that. The Brass will never station the fleet out there; entertainment sucks out there compared to 'Dago as there are no speakeasies, and they like to party on Saturday nights. So much so, that on Sunday morning all you see is little old ladies and temperance people walking around in San Diego; the Fleet is sleeping off a bender most of the time..."


I can see how you may have believed that at the time. Who could know that Hoover would only be a one term President? Perhaps you know Admiral Richardson. It sounds like he may have had a conversation with the same Japanese Naval Attache.




< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 3/26/2008 12:12:58 AM >

(in reply to tabpub)
Post #: 2108
RE: What's in a name - 3/26/2008 2:30:25 AM   
ctangus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

While we await the turn back from the Empire of Japan, the management has granted permission for a contest and is prepared to offer one two for one coupon for a cocktail at Yossarian's home for anyone who correctly identifies the next landing location.



Lesbos?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2109
RE: Horizon to Horizon - 3/26/2008 4:06:14 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: bobogoboom

canton?


Is that the Island or the city in China, sir?

(in reply to bobogoboom)
Post #: 2110
RE: What's in a name - 3/26/2008 4:06:36 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ctangus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

While we await the turn back from the Empire of Japan, the management has granted permission for a contest and is prepared to offer one two for one coupon for a cocktail at Yossarian's home for anyone who correctly identifies the next landing location.



Lesbos?


Cool story idea

(in reply to ctangus)
Post #: 2111
RE: What's in a name - 3/26/2008 4:40:52 AM   
Moondawggie


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Lesbos?

Well, I was in Walnut Creek, CA this weekend, and there was a lot of "Lesbot" action parading around outside of the Nordstrom and Tiffany stores there, but I doubt that Tabpub is invading Oakland/Berkeley and the East Bay.

On the other hand, Midway is always an attractive option....

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

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Post #: 2112
RE: What's in a name - 3/26/2008 8:11:07 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Anonymous Editor's Note:

The board has decided to name Mr/Ms. bobogoboom as the winner of the amphibious landing challenge. As Mr/Ms. bobogoboom did not specify Canton the city or Canton Is. as the destination, the Board had to devine the voter's intent. We judged his/her answer to be quite clever but because of the uncertainty, we modified the tow for one coupon to instead a Yossarian's Home Challenge certificate. The bearer, after paying for and consuming two Darwin Antipersonel Bombs within a 15 minute time span, must then stand on one foot and raise the other leg in a goosetep fashion and loudly sing "Springtime for Hitler" without losing his/her balance or forgetting any words to the song. Upon successful conclusion, the certificate holder will be awarded a free Darwin Antipersonel Bomb and a vomit bag.

(in reply to Moondawggie)
Post #: 2113
RE: What's in a name - 3/26/2008 8:19:07 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Anonymous Editor's Note:

The Board also wished the reader to be aware of the curious historical fact that the Island of Misfit Toys was the original target for Operation Firestone but planners encountered a severe shortage of icebreakers so Canton Is. was chsoen instead.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2114
Mauve - 3/26/2008 8:29:01 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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********Admiral Halsey's Cabin, USS Wasp, 06:50, December 17, 1942, 180 nm NE of Canton Is.************


<knock on door>

Adm. Halsey: Enter.

Lt.: Sir, the captain wishes to report the strike package for Canton is away. No enemy search aircraft or submarine contacts reported.

Adm. Halsey: That is splendid son. What do you think, the mauve or the terracotta? <he holds up two fabric swatches near the porthole>




< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 3/26/2008 9:23:27 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2115
Crazy - 3/26/2008 8:52:06 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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So here is Lord Admiral Tabpub's crazy side coming out. Canton Is. is beyond range of any currently available Allied bombers (the nearest base is Palmyra which is 15 hexes away), the location of the KB is unknown, Canton has been off limits for recon to preserve secrecy, 3 USN carriers are covering the Suva landings..............that leaves only Wasp to cover the Canton landings.


Will the non-Pagans please recite 50 Hail Marys in support of Operation Firestone (the Greek version is available a few pages back).

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2116
RE: What's in a name - 3/26/2008 8:57:57 PM   
Cuttlefish

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Anonymous Editor's Note:

The Board also wished the reader to be aware of the curious historical fact that the Island of Misfit Toys was the original target for Operation Firestone but planners encountered a severe shortage of icebreakers so Canton Is. was chsoen instead.



I think it's just as well. I hear that the coastal defense batteries there squirt jelly, and those flying lions are really tough in air to air combat.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2117
RE: Mauve - 3/26/2008 9:09:02 PM   
tabpub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

********Admiral Halsey's Cabin, USS Wasp, 06:50, December 17, 1942, 180 nm NE of Canton Is.************


<knock on door>

Adm. Halsey: Enter.

Lt.: Sir, the captain wishes to report the strike package for Canton is away. No enemy search aircraft or submarine contacts reported.

Adm. Halsey: That is splendid son. What do you think, the mauve or the terracotta? <he holds up two fabric swatches near the prothole>




Lt: <turning to leave> Oh, I almost forgot sir; the MSW group got separated from the main body last night. The Coxswain on the lead MSW has developed a strange condition; instead of steering fleet course 240 degrees, he was conning to course 042. The Pharmacist's Mate doesn't know what to make of it. Anyhow, the relief coxs'n spotted the error, but by then, the group was 4 hours in the opposite direction of the fleet; they can't make the landing zones before the transports. ADM Adams is quite put out, to say the least, and has ordered all Task Groups to heave to just over the horizon from Firestone while the MSW's catch up....aieee!! <ducks out the hatch as a coffee cup hits the bulkhead>

Adm. Halsey: (*%%$*&$)_+*&er!! I want that man up on a GCM when this Operation is over!! Fleet course was 240! I don't care what happened! And get me my strawberries!!

Lt: <ducks back in> Yessir! Oh, and the 2 old 'Bird' class MSW Rail and Heed will be onstation in the afternoon; they didn't have any navigation error. They should arrive in time with the intial bombardment group. <duck out>

Adm. Halsey: <muttering to self> Fletcher gets everything....dolt....he gets all but one of the DMS's, 3 carriers, and attacks an island that has a weakly held base 40 miles away that's taken in hours after the landing....What do I get...one carrier, one DMS, a bunch of idiot MSWs and we're attacking a rock in the middle of nowhere.....I KNEW that I shouldn't have pinched Chet's wife on the ass at that party 2 years ago.....and where in the HELL are my two ball bearings!!

_____________________________

Sing to the tune of "Man on the Flying Trapeze"
..Oh! We fly o'er the treetops with inches to spare,
There's smoke in the cockpit and gray in my hair.
The tracers look fine as a strafin' we go.
But, brother, we're TOO God damn low...

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2118
RE: Mauve - 3/26/2008 9:19:15 PM   
witpqs


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tabpub

.....and where in the HELL are my two ball bearings!!


I hope he didn't drop them in the bulkhead...

(in reply to tabpub)
Post #: 2119
RE: What's in a name - 3/26/2008 9:25:58 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuttlefish


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Anonymous Editor's Note:

The Board also wished the reader to be aware of the curious historical fact that the Island of Misfit Toys was the original target for Operation Firestone but planners encountered a severe shortage of icebreakers so Canton Is. was chsoen instead.



I think it's just as well. I hear that the coastal defense batteries there squirt jelly, and those flying lions are really tough in air to air combat.


Jellied gasoline or grape?

(in reply to Cuttlefish)
Post #: 2120
RE: Mauve - 3/26/2008 9:30:47 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tabpub



Lt: <turning to leave> Oh, I almost forgot sir; the MSW group got separated from the main body last night. The Coxswain on the lead MSW has developed a strange condition; instead of steering fleet course 240 degrees, he was conning to course 042. The Pharmacist's Mate doesn't know what to make of it. Anyhow, the relief coxs'n spotted the error, but by then, the group was 4 hours in the opposite direction of the fleet; they can't make the landing zones before the transports. ADM Adams is quite put out, to say the least, and has ordered all Task Groups to heave to just over the horizon from Firestone while the MSW's catch up....aieee!! <ducks out the hatch as a coffee cup hits the bulkhead>

Adm. Halsey: (*%%$*&$)_+*&er!! I want that man up on a GCM when this Operation is over!! Fleet course was 240! I don't care what happened! And get me my strawberries!!

Lt: <ducks back in> Yessir! Oh, and the 2 old 'Bird' class MSW Rail and Heed will be onstation in the afternoon; they didn't have any navigation error. They should arrive in time with the intial bombardment group. <duck out>

Adm. Halsey: <muttering to self> Fletcher gets everything....dolt....he gets all but one of the DMS's, 3 carriers, and attacks an island that has a weakly held base 40 miles away that's taken in hours after the landing....What do I get...one carrier, one DMS, a bunch of idiot MSWs and we're attacking a rock in the middle of nowhere.....I KNEW that I shouldn't have pinched Chet's wife on the ass at that party 2 years ago.....and where in the HELL are my two ball bearings!!



Wow! Halsey (2) has that macho mojo goin' on although he seems a bit forgetfull. Perhaps the Y chromosome deletion wasn't as bad as originally suspected. The medicos will be very, very happy.

(in reply to tabpub)
Post #: 2121
RE: Crazy - 3/27/2008 3:03:56 AM   
BrucePowers


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So here is Lord Admiral Tabpub's crazy side coming out. Canton Is. is beyond range of any currently available Allied bombers (the nearest base is Palmyra which is 15 hexes away), the location of the KB is unknown, Canton has been off limits for recon to preserve secrecy, 3 USN carriers are covering the Suva landings..............that leaves only Wasp to cover the Canton landings.


Will the non-Pagans please recite 50 Hail Marys in support of Operation Firestone (the Greek version is available a few pages back).


Are you lumping us protestants with the pagans

WE don't do hail Marys (unless it is with a football)

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2122
RE: Crazy - 3/27/2008 3:06:31 AM   
BrucePowers


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Admiral Eadie Adams

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Post #: 2123
Disclaimer - 3/27/2008 8:11:38 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Anonymous Editor's Note:

A number of readers have complained about a possbile sectarian or religious bias by a certain contributor. It is the firm policy of the Board to denounce relgious or sectarian intolerance. We further decry any inference that any of the monotheistic religions are superior to the animist, polytheistic or mud-worshiping faiths in any respect. Under no circumstances should readers feel obligated to support the Allied cause by prayer if they do not feel comfortable. The Board does request that overt references to Shinto shrines or
<POOF>

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 3/27/2008 8:13:06 PM >

(in reply to bradfordkay)
Post #: 2124
Rossel Island - 3/27/2008 11:44:01 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Anybody remember crazy American momma's boy ornithologist's name? I can't. I just remember he got left on Rossel Island...it may have even been WWII(a). It is amazing how annoying 12 Catalians can be The Japs send thousands of soldiers or marines to take Rossel Island back and suffer two mine losses to the transports from their own mines that had been laid only 2 days earlier. Meanwhile the Cats and the Dutch aviation engineers and one guest are gone



*******Rossel Island Lagoon, Louisiade Archipelago, 09:10, December 17, 1942*******


Lt. Van Dyke stands in ankle deep water. He is among the last of the volunteer Dutch aviation support company to be evacuated from Rossel. They have been operating a forward seaplane base on Rossel Island as part of a false Allied landing operation in New Guinea. The 12 RAAF Catalinas operating from the island have been trying to make as much noise as possible, flying recon missions even as far away as Rabaul and Guadalcanal. It appears to have been a gratifying success. Gili Gili has been reinforced by the Japs. Jap minelayers have operated offshore and just yesterday, half a dozen enemy transports were spotted rounding the Eastern tip of the Louisiade Archipelago, doubtless bound for Rossel to remove the offending thorn. There is no time to waste, the engines of the PBY are just turning over now. He turns toward the crazy American in tattered shorts who wears a hat he has woven from coconut fibers. He was discovered muttering to himself and wandering about what was expected to be a deserted island when they were first flown in 10 days ago.

Lt Van Dyke: Look, are you coming or not? The Japs will be here any second.

Crazy American momma's boy ornithologist: But my work, my work? It will be lost.

Lt Van Dyke: They are ******* birds! The Japs will kill you, you ignoramus!

Crazy American momma's boy ornithologist: But, I have incontrovertible evidence of species radiation among the littoral species of the Lousisiades. Do you realize the importance of this? This is as big as Charles Darwin....<Lt. Van Dyke nods his head slightly and the big KNIL sargeant brings the butt of his rifle across the back of the momma's boy's neck. He collapses into the shallow water and they both begin to drag the future Nobel Laureate to the waiting seaplane>


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2125
Fireworks - 3/28/2008 12:00:11 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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********3,000 yds offshore Red beach, Canton Island, 07:45, December 17, 1942*******

The big guns of USS Washington and North Carolina are depressed to a nearly horizontal elevation. Canton Island, which is not much to see even in the best of circumstances, seems to have disappeared into a cloud of smoke and pulverized coral. There is no return fire from the island, not a single round. More than one sailor aboard the Fast Bombardment Group wonders if they even have the right island.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2126
RE: Rossel Island - 3/28/2008 12:05:47 AM   
Cuttlefish

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Anybody remember crazy American momma's boy ornithologist's name?


The answer...


*********Panaete Island, Louisiade Archipelago, 17:30, May 24, 1942*******

Byron's mother always wanted him to be a lawyer or a gynecologist or something like that. Instead, he chose ornithology. On Dec. 7, 1941, he was in the Louisiades working on his thesis, "Adaptive Radiation Among the Genus Zosteropidae". He should have left on the Territorial Police cutter when he had a chance, but he needed more beak length measurements on Panaete's population of Cracticus louisiadensis. Then the Japs took Gili Gili and nobody with white skin ever came back.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2127
RE: Rossel Island - 3/29/2008 8:03:40 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuttlefish

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Anybody remember crazy American momma's boy ornithologist's name?


The answer...


*********Panaete Island, Louisiade Archipelago, 17:30, May 24, 1942*******

Byron's mother always wanted him to be a lawyer or a gynecologist or something like that. Instead, he chose ornithology. On Dec. 7, 1941, he was in the Louisiades working on his thesis, "Adaptive Radiation Among the Genus Zosteropidae". He should have left on the Territorial Police cutter when he had a chance, but he needed more beak length measurements on Panaete's population of Cracticus louisiadensis. Then the Japs took Gili Gili and nobody with white skin ever came back.



Oops! <thinks up cover story while shaving>

********Aboard RNN PBY. 7,000 feet above Rossel, Is., Louisiade Arcipelago, December 17, 1942*********


Lt. Van Dyke looked out of a starboard window of the PBY as she banked into a turn to the West. To his amazement he could see 8 or 9 transports disgorging 15-20 thousand Jap troops complete with mortars and field pieces being dragged across the shallow lagoon. It looked as though a field hospital had been set up to handle the several thousands of casualties from the landing. "Near drownings? Sun stroke? Accidental discharge of weapons?", he thought to himself. Two Japs ships were burning, impaled on their own mines. "What was the funny American expression?", he thought. "FUBAR..that's it!" "This is completely FUBAR." He chuckled that his company and a few Catalinas had provoked such a reaction. "F****** crazy Japs!", he said quietly. He looked down at the crazy American momma's boy ornithologist who was coming in and out of consciousness, mumbling and making wimpering sounds. "F****** crazy Americans".

Byron was wimpering because he was reliving his near death in the bottom of a native outrigger canoe as his native friends spirited him ever Eastward on the Archipelago, away from the prying eyes of the Japs. He imagined he could smell the diesel oil of a Jap patrol boat passing the canoe. What he really smelled was aviation gas sloshing about in Jerry cans in the tail of the PBY. The brain does things like that....

(in reply to Cuttlefish)
Post #: 2128
RE: Rossel Island - 3/29/2008 8:05:06 PM   
Terminus


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_____________________________

We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

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Post #: 2129
RE: Rossel Island - 3/29/2008 8:16:21 PM   
BrucePowers


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I want to know if Admiral Adams is related to an a family that has acting in it's roots

(in reply to Terminus)
Post #: 2130
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