Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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***********SEAC HQ, Ledo, 09:40, december 30, 1942**************** Gen. Pownall: Have we heard from Warren. When will he commit his tanks to the attack? There are 90,000 Japs West of Myitkyinia I hope to encircle. Aide: He is ready sir, save the EIR. Gen. Pownall: <frowns slightly and thinks to himself> "EIR....hmmm....Electronic Intelligence...?" <finally, he can stand it no longer> Look, damnit! Haven't I asked that we dispense with the acronyms? What is with you people and the acronyms? Please tell me what 'EIR' stands for. Aide: Yes, sorry sir. It stands for 'Environmental Impact Report'. Gen. Pownall: What on Earth is that? Aide: It's the fossil beds sir. Apparently the battle area is riddled with a superb collection of hadrosaur bones. Nests, fossilized eggs, the whole lot. The SPCA have filed suit...Oh, sorry sir. That is the Society for.. Gen. Pownall: the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals..yes, yes. Do you take me for a doddering fool? Aide: Oh no sir. I have never seen you dodder. Gen. Pownall: Ah, pay no attention. I've been irritable. It's this damn humidity. I really have a terrible problem with chafing. <adjusts his package> Aide: Yes sir, chafing sir. Gen. Pownall: It is curious. <turns to look out a window toward the mountains which are covered in white> Aide: Oh no sir, I've had some serious chafing myself. Many of the men have an odd gait. Gen. Pownall: Oh? Oh, no not that. I meant the SPCA. I wouldn't have thought dinosaur bones would have been within their scope of interest. Aide: They've become quite aggressive. All US Army Air Force ASW..err...I mean Anti-submarine patrols now have an SPCA ride-a-long...and they have been harrassing the PM. I understand he has taken to staying in his underground bunker in London day and night....and they haven't proper lavatory facilities..so he must use a chamberpot. Gen. Pownall: Chamberpot?! Bloody Hell! The poor bastard. Aide: Indeed! In any event, the order has come directly from Whitehall. No attack until the report is complete. Gen. Pownall: <turns pensively again toward the window> War is Hell. Aide: Indeed! That's Sherman isn't it? Gen. Pownall: Yes, yes I believe it is. <adjusts himself again>
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