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Inside the box - 4/18/2008 6:00:49 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		***********Batchelor Field, Darwin, 23:20, December 31, 1942**********

<A hirsute man in a dishevled US Army Captain's uniform walks along the tarmac. An impossibly enthusiatic man driving a jeep and humming a rhythmic tune drives up beside him.>

Impossibly enthusiatic man: Yossarian, you crazy SOB, why aren't you at Yossarian's Home ringing in the new year?

Hirsute man: I can't. It just reminds me that I have done all this before.

Impossibly enthusiatic man: Yossarian, you crazy, melancholy SOB, why don't you get some sleep then?

Hirsute man: Because my tent is now a winterized quonset hut and it's 91 dgrees at Goddamned midnight on Goddamned New Yar's Eve you crazy, impossibly enthusiastic SOB. Can I stay in your tent?

Impossibly enthusiatic man: Yossarian, you crazy SOB. Do you want people to think you are a homeotherm? <smiles broadly>

Hirsute man: <recoils reflexively> No, no I don't. Say, Milo, you crazy insomniac SOB, why aren't YOU at Yossarian's Home?


...to be continued....

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2191
RE: Inside the box - 4/19/2008 5:18:07 AM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline 		Those two should be charged per printed character. 

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2192
RE: Inside the box - 4/19/2008 10:10:14 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Those two should be charged per printed character.


Perhaps you should take that up with Mr. Minderbinder..just bring a good lawyer.

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)
Post #: 2193
RE: Inside the box - 4/19/2008 10:34:54 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		***********Batchelor Field, Darwin, 23:20, December 31, 1942**********

(cont.)

Impossibly enthusiatic man: I have a contract...and you might say I am campaigning for the Ohio vote.

Hirsute man: I don't see any voters from Ohio.

Impossibly enthusiatic man: Yossarian, you concrete-thinking SOB. You are looking OUTSIDE the box.

Hirsute man: I am not following you.

Impossibly enthusiatic man: Look INSIDE the box, you crazy SOB. <He point to a box sitting in the passenger seat of the jeep. The hirsute fellow looks inside and shrugs>

Hirsute man: Bent nails. I see bent nails. I see a box of bent nails in a jeep at Goddamn midnight and I still can't sleep.

Hirsute man: Yossarian, Yossarian. Do I have to explain everything? These are campaign leaflets.

Hirsute man: <he looks again> They still look like bent nails to me.

Impossibly entusiastic man Observe! <he grabs a handful of bent nails and tosses them all over the tarmac>

Hirsute man: Milo, you are a crazy SOB. I mean it.

Impossibly enthusiastic man <sighs with exasperation> Look..we are on a runway right?

Hirsute man: Yeah?

Impossibly enthusiastic man And what goes on the runway?

Hirsute man: Airplanes?

Impossibly enthusiastic man Excellent! Now we are getting somewhere. Now, what part of the airplane comes in contact with the runway?

Hirsute man: THE TIRES! THE TIRES!

Impossibly enthusiastic man By George I think he's got it! Now, the Japs are unloading transports at Dili, on Timor, which is 470 miles from here and the range of the Mitchel B-25C with minimal bomb load is?

Impossibly enthusiastic hirsute man: 480 MILES! IT'S 480!

Non-hirsute,impossibly enthusiastic manYES! YES! <stands up> AND WHO WILL JOIN ME?

Impossibly enthusiastic hirsute man: I WILL! <hops into jeep>

Non-hirsute,impossibly enthusiastic man SPLENID! <grabs handful of nails> OLANGAPOO AND YOSSARIAN TOO! <begins driving>

Impossibly enthusiastic hirsute man: OLANGAPOO AND YOSSARIAN TOO! <tosses handful of nails down the runway.......

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2194
RE: Inside the box - 4/19/2008 10:38:22 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Speaking of being inside the box, Stalker Girl lent me her red BMW Roadster while my 328 is getting new brakes. I suppose that makes me a kept man?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2195
RE: Inside the box - 4/19/2008 10:40:35 PM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Speaking of being inside the box, Stalker Girl lent me her red BMW Roadster while my 328 is getting new brakes. I suppose that makes me a kept man?

Only if you KEEP the BMW, methinks...

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2196
RE: Inside the box - 4/19/2008 10:42:36 PM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		Stalker Girl has upgraded to Sugar Mommy...

_____________________________

We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 2197
With 251 Coy. Royal Engineers - 4/19/2008 10:45:25 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		*********Former forward lines 7th Armoured, Northern Burma, 09:20, January 1, 1943********

Lt. Uppington-Smyth stands atop a small stump with traffic control flags in his hands. He has a badge affixed to his tunic which says "Official SPCA observer". A long line of British tanks are queued to pass through a carefully marked grid with colored flags.

The Lt. shouts, "Mind the yellow ones, those are hadrosaurs with their nesting young......"

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2198
RE: With 251 Coy. Royal Engineers - 4/19/2008 10:56:12 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		After a month of planning...extra supplies to Imphal, gaining air superiority over Northen Burma, a week of aerial bombardment...not to mention a torturous EIR process and much pressure from Whitehall....III Corps finally prepares their shock attack on the Japs North of the rail line.

All is ready. Over 130 25 Lbr guns (or larger caliber). Over 100 Grants, 60 Stuarts, 7 brigades of rested infantry and 360+ operational medium and heavy bombers and 100 P-38's dedicated to the operation.......and the Goddman Japs sneak out in the middle of the night.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 4/19/2008 10:57:18 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2199
RE: With 251 Coy. Royal Engineers - 4/19/2008 11:11:42 PM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		Ah yes, the Goddman Japs... Well known family of Australian outlaws...

_____________________________

We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2200
RE: With 251 Coy. Royal Engineers - 4/20/2008 1:12:43 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

Ah yes, the Goddman Japs... Well known family of Australian outlaws...


Dsyleixa is no lauhgign mattre smrat ass






Attachment (1)

(in reply to Terminus)
Post #: 2201
RE: With 251 Coy. Royal Engineers - 4/20/2008 1:33:30 AM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Dsyleixa is no lauhgign mattre smrat ass


Lcuky fro oyu yo'ure a kpet nam.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2202
RE: With 251 Coy. Royal Engineers - 4/20/2008 1:42:21 AM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		Yeah, she can take care of all the little niggling details, like spelling and punctuation...

_____________________________

We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

(in reply to witpqs)
Post #: 2203
RE: With 251 Coy. Royal Engineers - 4/20/2008 2:05:45 AM   
BrucePowers


Posts: 12094
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		So, how much does a brake job on a 328 run you? (this will define how kept you are).

(in reply to Terminus)
Post #: 2204
RE: Inside the box - 4/20/2008 2:37:33 AM   
USSAmerica


Posts: 18715
Joined: 10/28/2002
From: Graham, NC, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

Stalker Girl has upgraded to Sugar Mommy...


....and apparently relocated to SoCal. I guess I missed that event.

_____________________________

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

(in reply to Terminus)
Post #: 2205
RE: With 251 Coy. Royal Engineers - 4/20/2008 2:44:40 AM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

Ah yes, the Goddman Japs... Well known family of Australian outlaws...


Dsyleixa is no lauhgign mattre smrat ass







Hey, i'm a charter member of D.A.M. (Mothers Against Dyslexia)!






Attachment (1)

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2206
RE: Inside the box - 4/20/2008 4:57:21 AM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Those two should be charged per printed character.


Perhaps you should take that up with Mr. Minderbinder..just bring a good lawyer.


That would be pretty weird considering my qualification for being a good lawyer.

(Disclaimer: My apologies to any lawyers, spouses of lawyers or anyone who has ever met a lawyer. The above comment was not meant to insult or to insinuate a threat. It was made purely as an attempt to elicit a humorous reaction from its readers. Thank you.)

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2207
RE: With 251 Coy. Royal Engineers - 4/20/2008 5:02:40 AM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

Ah yes, the Goddman Japs... Well known family of Australian outlaws...


Well, That explains John Goodman.

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Terminus)
Post #: 2208
RE: With 251 Coy. Royal Engineers - 4/20/2008 6:13:55 AM   
Anthropoid


Posts: 3107
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Secret Underground Lair
Status: offline 		This is a work of art. Are many WiTP AARs this creative and inspired!?

_____________________________

The x-ray is her siren song. My ship cannot resist her long. Nearer to my deadly goal. Until the black hole. Gains control...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkIIlkyZ328&feature=autoplay&list=AL94UKMTqg-9CocLGbd6tpbuQRxyF4FGNr&playnext=3

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)
Post #: 2209
RE: With 251 Coy. Royal Engineers - 4/20/2008 7:38:27 AM   
bradfordkay

 

Posts: 8683
Joined: 3/24/2002
From: Olympia, WA
Status: offline 		Read "Small Ship, Big War."

'nuff said.

_____________________________

fair winds,
Brad

(in reply to Anthropoid)
Post #: 2210
Viti Levu - 4/20/2008 8:31:20 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Thanks for the kind comments Anthropoid...like brad said.

Anyone remember when USS Drum spotted Haruna up in the North Pacific...Saipan maybe, can't remember now. Well we spotted her again at Noumea..along with Kongo, two CA's and a bunch of escorts. She was too late to prevent the fall of Suva, but that doesn't mean the IJN isn't miffed. Suva is no cakewalk to bombard. There are 3 squadrons of Marine SBD's and the TBF's from Hornet at Nandi and two groups of USAAF heavies at Suva. Not to mention a bunch of mines.

Haruna, Kongo and friends headed East from Noumea and were hit ineffectually by the heavies from Suva two days in a row. On the 28th, they were about 300 miles south of Fiji. Nevada and a slightly damaged Prince of Wales were at Suva along with a ton of transports and support vessels. Declining a night battle, Chet ordered a general retirement to the SE...except for several mine-damaged AK's and AP's....and a couple of dozen PT boats





KEY:

1) The IJN approaches from the South in 3 columns. Visibility is poor. 6 x PT under the command of Lt Wiede attack the Eastern light cruiser and destroyer force. They launch their torpedoes without being spotted and turn away. The first awareness of a USN presence for the IJN is when Yukikaze suffers a torpedo hit. She slows to 20 kts but stays in line.

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 4/20/2008 8:45:49 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2211
RE: Viti Levu - 4/21/2008 1:35:09 AM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		Nice graphics!

< Message edited by Terminus -- 4/21/2008 1:38:26 AM >

_____________________________

We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2212
RE: Viti Levu - 4/21/2008 1:54:26 AM   
USSAmerica


Posts: 18715
Joined: 10/28/2002
From: Graham, NC, USA
Status: offline 		Indeed!    One of my favorite parts of Mandrake's AAR's are the "action maps." 

_____________________________

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

(in reply to Terminus)
Post #: 2213
RE: Viti Levu - 4/21/2008 1:55:01 AM   
USSAmerica


Posts: 18715
Joined: 10/28/2002
From: Graham, NC, USA
Status: offline 		It looks like he got part of the key posted, and then the forums went down. 

_____________________________

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

(in reply to USSAmerica)
Post #: 2214
RE: Viti Levu - 4/21/2008 1:56:00 AM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		Bummer when that happens...

_____________________________

We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

(in reply to USSAmerica)
Post #: 2215
RE: Viti Levu - 4/21/2008 4:27:26 AM   
Moondawggie


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
Status: offline 		Gotta love those PTs! BTW, was LCDR Quentin McHale conning one of those boats? Last I heard of him, he was off Perth.

As far as your BMW question goes: was it a Z3 roadster she loaned you, or a Z4?

Z3: you are a kept man; she's still Stalker Girl.

Z4: It's over; you are a FF (future fiance), and she is simply the "Boss."

Good luck, Chuck!



_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2216
RE: Viti Levu - 4/21/2008 5:25:53 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

Gotta love those PTs! BTW, was LCDR Quentin McHale conning one of those boats? Last I heard of him, he was off Perth.

As far as your BMW question goes: was it a Z3 roadster she loaned you, or a Z4?

Z3: you are a kept man; she's still Stalker Girl.

Z4: It's over; you are a FF (future fiance), and she is simply the "Boss."

Good luck, Chuck!




OK...I had to go look. It's a Z3 Nice car, but I am afraid to eat anything in the car...she hs it waxed too. I will be happy when my 328 is ready. She bought me a hot air balloon ride for my birthday. Anyone know if there is any way to check if any insurance policies have been taken out on you recently?

As for the battle off Viti Levu..there was no McHale to my knowledge, but one of the flotilla commanders was a certain Lt. jg, Conway..no kidding..wierd eh?

The KEY was indeed chopped by the site going down...I will add it later..it's on the other comp. The Emperor was so enraged by the result of the Viti Levu battle he commincated to us that he wanted to write a "mod" himself.

(in reply to Moondawggie)
Post #: 2217
RE: Viti Levu - 4/21/2008 5:51:29 AM   
Moondawggie


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
Status: offline 		Wow---Tim Conway (Ensign Chuck Parker, to those of us who knew him on TV as kids) helped turn the tide at Viti Levu!

How cool!

Captain Binghampton would be proud!

Also, l'm glad to know you are still a free (if kept) man.

On to Tokyo!

A little misinformation about "McHale's Navy" from Wikipedia here:

"(McHale's Navy) was set in the Pacific theatre of World War II and focused on the crew of PT-73, led by Lt. Commander Quinton McHale (Ernest Borgnine).

McHale's second-in-command is Ensign Chuck Parker (Tim Conway), in his career-defining performance as a gentle, naïve but somewhat gung-ho bumbler who usually succeeded in spite of his own ineptitude.

McHale's perpetually frustrated commander is Captain Wallace Burton Binghamton (Joe Flynn), known behind his back as "Old Leadbottom" (nickname he received from a bullet wound to the posterior) and constantly trying to get the goods on "McHale and his pirates." Binghamton's catchphrases were "What in the name of the Blue Pacific" or "What in the name of Halsey" when he saw gambling or native dancing girls on McHale's island. Despite his bombast, Binghamton was not the most effective officer: his only wartime "accomplishment" consisted of launching a torpedo from the PT-73 and destroying a truck on land.

Capt. Binghamton's enthusiastic assistant is the sycophantic Lieutenant Elroy Carpenter (Bob Hastings, a Bilko veteran).

The plots revolve around the efforts of Captain Binghamton to rid himself of the PT-73 crew. Besides Borgnine, the only actors from the dramatic pilot who made it to the series were Gary Vinson as George "Christy" Christopher and John Wright as radioman Willy Moss. Actor and comic magician Carl Ballantine was featured as confident con man Lester Gruber, whose get-rich-quick schemes often got the crew in trouble. Electrician's mate Harrison "Tinker" Bell was played by Billy Sands ("Pvt. Paparelli" on Bilko). The lover boy of the crew was handsome Virgil Edwards (Edson Stroll).

Gavin MacLeod (later of both The Mary Tyler Moore Show and The Love Boat) played crew member Joseph "Happy" Haines. How 'bout that! The skipper of the Love Boat learned his seamanship from McHale!

The most unusual crew member was a privately held Japanese POW called Fuji (Yoshio Yoda), who had become a de facto comrade that the PT-73 crew kept hidden from Binghamton.

Quite often, Binghamton is ready to send McHale and his gang to the brig, only to see them pull off a military success against the enemy that impresses Admiral Reynolds (Herbert Lytton) or Admiral Rodgers (Roy Roberts) and headquarters. Binghamton would then turn to the camera and say, "I could just scream!" "Why me?, Why is it always me?" or "Somebody up there hates me!". With the exception of Binghamton, the Navy brass likes and respects McHale. He had served in the Navy (World War I) and knew the South Pacific as a former Merchant Marine officer, while Binghamton held a reserve commission.

A Polynesian chief, Pali Urulu (Jacques Aubuchon), is as crooked as McHale's men. When McHale and his men are in Urulu's village, the chief displays a large photo of President Franklin D. Roosevelt; when the Japanese troops arrive, Urulu turns over the picture to reveal a photo of Japanese Emperor Hirohito.

McHale's love interest is a Navy nurse, Molly Turner (Bilko's Jane Dulo). Parker's love interest is a French girl from New Caledonia, played by Claudine Longet. (Who, as I recall, after divorcing 60's crooner Andy Williams, gunned down and killed Olympic Skier Boyfriend Spider Sabich in Aspen in a "domestic quarrel---and got acquitted just like OJ!


man---this show had it all.




_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 2218
RE: Viti Levu - 4/21/2008 7:00:59 AM   
Anthropoid


Posts: 3107
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Secret Underground Lair
Status: offline 		I think I watched that with my grampa a few times

_____________________________

The x-ray is her siren song. My ship cannot resist her long. Nearer to my deadly goal. Until the black hole. Gains control...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkIIlkyZ328&feature=autoplay&list=AL94UKMTqg-9CocLGbd6tpbuQRxyF4FGNr&playnext=3

(in reply to Moondawggie)
Post #: 2219
RE: Viti Levu - 4/21/2008 6:50:42 PM   
BrucePowers


Posts: 12094
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		Youngster! I loved that show.

(in reply to Anthropoid)
Post #: 2220
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